I'm an airline pilot, and 99% interested in poon+travel with regard to this site, but its been entertaining reading this thread - and FYI, about par for layman's knowledge of flying.
First, I'm really bored at work after 27 years of driving a $200 million dollar bus around the planet. Most of us are bored, and often sleepy - and we often nap when flying long-haul, especially at night. Yes, we engage the autopilot right after takeoff usually and many times utilize the auto-land system at the airport we are enroute. Amazing shit, even has auto-brakes - I just takeover the nose-wheel steering after landing roll-out and taxi to the gate, which is usually the most difficult part of the flight. Its almost completely automated; flight plan, fuel plan, navigation and even the control of the airplane. Taxiing and talking to ATC is about it. Not bad for $200 bucks an hour. You won't get rich, in fact most pilots are poor thanks to Amerikan divorce courts and the dangerous attraction to marriage and procreation that most men have. But, lest I digress........
No, you're not likely to die on an airplane, unless you have a heart attack or choke on the dog food that we serve you with a scowl these days. Remember, I die first - as in nose first - and even though I'm bored, rest assured that I and most all of us (save for a few bizarre pilot suicides; Egyptair
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/EgyptAir_Flight_990 , SilkAir
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/SilkAir_Flight_185 ) have no interest in spending our final moments with you.
A couple of points if I may:
Most pilots from developed countries are well trained and generally competent, at least in my experience, and I have worked all over the world. That said, when you board a plane in most of Africa, parts of LatAm, Russia/FSU, China, Indonesia, Phils, Indian subcontinent - may Allah/local god - be with you. The Nigerian MD-80 that "landed short" in Lagos a few days ago is probably a good case in point. Ex-Alaska Airlines airplane that was probably poorly maintained by a shit-bag operation run by Afri-gangsters. Pilot was a sad sack gringo trying to make an expat buck. I've been "in his seat" before.
Most airplanes are well designed technological marvels - maintained to varying degrees of airworthiness; see above.....
Most airplane crashes are indeed, pilot error. Further, most all these type crashes are the result of "cascading errors" - a series of mistakes, one of which is usually not serious enough to "terminate the flight early". But, when put together.....this is going to hurt, a lot, but not for long.
Yes, we train for emergencies in the simulator. But, you would be surprised at how many things are not included in the training program at even the best airlines. Most emergencies do also occur during the departure/arrival profile of a flight, and thus that takes up a lot of the training. For example, a "V1 cut" - an engine failure on take off - is obviously something you want your pilot TO KNOW. You'd be surprised how many dumb fucks flunk this test - they over-rotate the aircraft and stall......can you say "fireball"? Contrary to an earlier comment - NO, we do not practice "dead stick' landings (full power loss). There have been a few cases of happy "dead stick" landings of commercial aircraft - if I were a pax on a flight that lost all power, I would get up and walk the isle looking for the hottest chica on the airplane and grab her tits before we "landed". Also, you might be shocked to learn that most airline pilots are never trained to recover from a high altitude stall. Why? It's pretty fucking obvious what to do. Which leads to the AF Rio-Paris story.......
With regard to AF447. That was a complete cluster-fuck from the moment the auto-pilot disconnected and a clearly incompetent second officer was sadly in command. 4 minutes of complete confusion and amazingly bad crew coordination skills. Also, some rather bad design flaws on the Airbus that you will never read about. On the other hand, a black, moonless night transiting the inter-tropical convergence zone in shitty weather - thunderstorms, turbulence, icing - is not for the faint of heart. I've flown through that and it can get very uncomfortable at night. You are possibly in a radio dead zone - "transmitting in the blind" - where there is no ATC support, no radar coverage and all you have is ride reports from other aircraft in the area. Eyes glued to the weather radar - avoid the "magenta"!!!, engage engine ignition "ON" in the event you encounter massive rain or hail and have an engine(s) flame-out - oh, and you're hours from an airport in the middle of the ocean.
Enjoy your flight!
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