[Chiosboy90]

Hi,

I decided to not wanting an exclusive girlfriend because im in the phase of working hard on myself and cutting out toxic/negative people that I know, are not helping me growing. More or less reinvent myself. Its very stressfull but i do hope it gets me where i want to. So, i feel like there is no place for a girlfriend. Maybe one that would be helping me growing strongher but im a bit cynical in that point and my experience is, finding a women that REALY supports you and you keep the relationship at the same time steady without draining your energy into 0, is nearly impossible.

Anyway, im meeting a women since 3 weeks and shes a cutie. Very hot body and shes a barkeeper so i think its nice that tons of men drinking their beer and thinking about banging her and in the end of her shift, she comes to my place and i fuck her.

My "problem" is with dating women, i tend to do the "relationship" stuff cause i like it. That means, im a bit romantic and i like to say to women how beautiful they look (ofc after the 1st bang) and holding hands in public etc. Same time, i do not give a shit about meeting her friends or god forbbid her parents. The girl above didnt had a father and with my experience, those are the women that are very broken and have sex with men very fast. On our 2nd date she came without pantys to my place. I did ofc enjoyed that but in my head i placed her already on the "not gf material" rail.

She asked me to meet her grandparents this weekend. I first agreed with a bitter taste and later i canceled with a bullshit excusse.
I did that because shes investing a lot and she said im the first men that do not threat her like a piece of meat.
Thats because I can emotionaly do the boyfriend stuff and not being that much involved in her. The one night fuck stuff isnt my piece of a cake. I like to have weekend girlfriends and do my important stuff during the week. How can i avoid that girls pushing for relationships without doing the stuff i like? I dont want to be mean or cant be romantic just for the sake that the girls will think that im not boyfriend material. They should know how to filter men themself but women these day cant.

Its funny that those women have sex on the first, some cases second date and then wonder why all the men leave. I do not have the energy to therapy them cause their was no dad or whatever around. So i feel like "exploiting" them cause they are damaged (then again who isnt).

cheers

[McCarthy]

It seems the two equilibria are either ONS or LTR (if you can consider LTR an equilibrium, heh).

I managed to keep non-commitment with my last LTR for about two months, until she threw the (last) ultimatum: either exclusiveness or nothing. I thing in ROK and Heartiste you’ll find tips on how to keep delaying and avoiding the stupid ultimatum. I did that for a while, but the plates end up falling in the end.

I also don’t mind doing the relationship stuff, and having a partner clearly helps: it gives a flat rate of pussy and companionship... but man, I have zero tolerance for drama and bullshit.

[torridon747]

I'm the same way. I like doing stupid little couple stuff it makes my day better. After the first bang of course; as you put it.

What I do to distance them is leave other girl's stuff around my house, nothing too obvious. Hair ties, bobby pins, the odd feminine item. Once in a while I will casually joke about seeing other women. Girls say stuff all the time to test you and see if there's other girls around so there's never any shortage of any opportunities. My go-to lines "my other girlfriends aren't going to like that" - when she leaves a hicky, leaves her stuff at my house and makes a big deal about it and looks at me for answer - you get the idea.

Unless your status is good, dick is bomb, and game is air-tight this will make her want to leave eventually. During the honeymoon phase 1-4 weeks it adds mystery and is interesting. After that the girl will start to wonder what the fuck she's doing, wondering why she's fucking with you at all, she'll probably hop on another branch and disappear off the face of the earth forever.

Now if you want to keep her around longer than that and offer no commitment it's a bit harder.Can't comment too much on that, my usual m-ltrs last about 1-4 weeks. If you just want to keep her around for sex you could always be somewhat honest about it, you are fucking other girls right? You might lose her but it shouldn't be that big of deal.

[RatInTheWoods]

There is a lot to be said for the right LTR. Less wasted effort chasing pussy, less effort teaching them how to do it right, more hygienic - shes not always full of some other dudes cum...

You don't have to worry about her draining your energy, or taking you backwards, if YOU set the frame.

Let her know how its going to be, what's acceptable and whats not. What you expect from her and what she needs to do to keep you, the prize in her life.

If she doesn't agree, well then next her. If she does, you have all the advantages of a gf without the drama.

Easy. IF you can hold frame and not be a pussy!

[realologist]

You to her "I really enjoy the time I spend with you and have a lot of fun. I'm not at the stage to meet family right now. I reserve that for very serious relationships I've had for a very long time. I'll let you know if I ever get to that point but right now I don't want to rush into anything and want to just enjoy what we have."

[Chiosboy90]

(06-11-2017 10:03 AM)realologist Wrote:  

You to her "I really enjoy the time I spend with you and have a lot of fun. I'm not at the stage to meet family right now. I reserve that for very serious relationships I've had for a very long time. I'll let you know if I ever get to that point but right now I don't want to rush into anything and want to just enjoy what we have."

Thanks. That fits very well in what i wanted to say.

[Synezthetic]

I find that I have three standards, so to speak:

One to fuck (the lowest, typically solely looks-based), a slightly higher one to casually date and have sex, and a very high bar for LTR material. Girls that fall in the middle are particularly troubling, because there's always aspects of them that I really do like, but just not quite enough to think of myself logically with them an LTR.

Logic is the keyword here, and you seem to have the right mindset.

This seems to be the only blemish:

(06-11-2017 03:09 AM)Chiosboy90 Wrote:  

She asked me to meet her grandparents this weekend. I first agreed with a bitter taste and later i canceled with a bullshit excusse.

Just be sure to avoid cancelling for made-up reasons, because it reinforces that you were willing to meet family, and would have done so, had these other made-up events not occurred. She'll invite you again the very next chance she gets. (I have made this mistake quite a few times before, lol)

[birthday cat]

You've got to think about the situation from the girl's perspective. That is probably the first step for most of the questions in this subforum but not many people do it.

You said you enjoy being romantic, doing relationship stuff, and being like a boyfriend. Doing those things and not wanting a relationship is going to short-circuit the girl's brain. It's similar to a girl texting you nude pictures and coming to your house with no panties on, but then saying no to sex and expecting you to take her to dinner and a movie. It's like false advertising.

It's your job to lead and you are leading with your actions or your words or both. You don't realize it but your actions are communicating that you want a relationship and this creates a lot of confusion for the girl.

If you want to act like a boyfriend but not be a boyfriend, you need to have conversations with the girl to set appropriate expectations. However, that won't always work. Some girls won't be able to accept this type of situation for a long time.

[Ringo]

In my experience, the #1 mistake guys make in your situation is they go too hard with the meeting frequency.

It's inevitable that if you meet the girl 2+ times/week you'll reach the breaking point of exclusivity fast.

Ideally you want 2-3 girls you enjoy spending time with so you can rotate them and meet each every 1-2 weeks. There's not enough momentum for them to start the LTR talk. Maybe they'll question you about the situation, but it's much easier to handle that than to cool things off when you are at the brink of exclusivity.

I've been seeing 2 girls on that basis, one for 11 months and the other about 9. During that time I've also had other ones who dropped out.

Realologist's idea is right - don't lie, but don't compromise either.

"I enjoy spending time with you and I'm open to whatever, but I don't wanna push things, let's let it happen" is my go to.

I've been pressed by one of the girls twice to commit but managed not to just by being honest.

I told her: "I like you but I'm not what you think you're looking for. I've got too much going on with work and other things. I can't give you the attention you need so I don't want to make any promises I can't keep. I understand if you want to stop seeing me". That only made her want me even more and we've been good ever since.

[Vill@in]

(06-11-2017 03:09 AM)Chiosboy90 Wrote:  

She asked me to meet her grandparents this weekend.

I can't wait until a girl asks me this. My response will be: "Nah".

[Comte De St. Germain]

My simple response is

"I believe in organic relationships so let's see where this takes us."

Or some longer variation in that kind of mindset. It's all about stressing that if you guys "are meant for each other" then it'll happen on its own.

[RatInTheWoods]

(06-13-2017 09:13 AM)Ringo Wrote:  

I told her: "I like you but I'm not what you think you're looking for. I've got too much going on with work and other things. I can't give you the attention you need so I don't want to make any promises I can't keep. I understand if you want to stop seeing me". That only made her want me even more and we've been good ever since.

Thats an OK strategy but it will only work in two scenarios

1) a girl who has a lower SMV than you - she will accept that (Don't you want higher SMV girls?)

2) She is banging other dudes, and doesn't see you as a LTR catch (fine if you are happy to have her full of other dudes cum when you see her)

[Ringo]

(06-13-2017 06:42 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

Thats an OK strategy but it will only work in two scenarios

1) a girl who has a lower SMV than you - she will accept that (Don't you want higher SMV girls?)

I would argue lower or equivalent. Higher would be tough.

In my case I would say both girls are around the same mark as I am.

(06-13-2017 06:42 PM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

2) She is banging other dudes, and doesn't see you as a LTR catch (fine if you are happy to have her full of other dudes cum when you see her)

I think we're at different points at our game journeys. If I recall correctly you are married to a girl who was a virgin, and your last post in the thread was pro-LTR.

I don't get what you propose - you expect to keep a girl as a girlfriend without getting too serious and while telling her you'lll bang other chicks, will only see her when you feel like it and if you hear a peep out of her she's done? And you expect her to be monogamous to you?

I don't expect them to only have sex with me because I'm barely making an investment to keep them around.

I don't really care if they are banging other guys because whenever I call them they are always excited to meet me and do whatever I want them to do, be it sexually, going out, etc. It's actually the girls who tend to initiate contact because my priority is always new bangs. They often bring me little gifts and food.

In all honesty, they're very decent girls and I actually hope they find a guy to date them and make them happy, because I'm not going to.

[Vill@in]

(06-14-2017 09:19 AM)Ringo Wrote:  

In all honesty, they're very decent girls and I actually hope they find a guy to date them and make them happy, because I'm not going to.

This is me. Although maybe not so much with the 'decent' part.

I was fucking a teacher last year and early this year. She was a nice, smart girl. Well, besides the fact that she was cheating on her husband. But the marriage was long dead. She started putting the wheels in motion to get a divorce late last year, which I didn't want because I knew she would press me for something more 'committed'.

And sure enough, she sent me a wall of text after the divorce was finalized asking me where this was going. I told her she just got out of a marriage and she should enjoy her single life for a bit (i.e. fuck other dudes if she wanted) but she just wanted to lock me down. Ha, no chance whore.

Last I heard she currently has a boyfriend. She continues to flirt with me of course. Poor bastard.

[Chiosboy90]

Quote:

Last I heard she currently has a boyfriend. She continues to flirt with me of course. Poor bastard.

The very reason the Red Pill is so important. I know tons of guys that would fit into this poor bastard. They dont care or cant see the truth. Who the fucks wants to have a whore as girlfriend? I dont. And i stand to that. Dont care when PUA's tell me im insecure blah blah. I just enjoy stable girls as girlfriends. She does not have to be a virging by any means, but 20+ dicks is fucking gross. Specialy in my small country.