Looking for advice on managing an MLTR via long distance.
I "have" a Lao 9 in SEA that I enjoy traveling with. We met last year and have taken a couple trips together around Laos and Thailand.
I'm hoping to keep her available. I want to do Malaysia/Myanmar with her next winter. Finding a new girl with her looks and personality is going to be time consuming.
Overall I'm happy with her. I'm just looking to get some better behavior via long distance. I have no interest in going to see her during rainy season.
I've always told her she's free to date other guys. Just use condoms. She knows I date other girls.
She doesn't like it, but is understanding. Lately she says she doesn't want to see them on my social media. She patrols it like a hawk.
She saw a girl from a Chinese hostel in one of my videos. I wasn't even interested in this chick. Nothing happened.
Lao still sent me a wall of text. It was easy to calm her down and reassure her. But what the hell? I know she's dating a guy and lying about it. I try to ignore it. Why can't she do the same?
I want to keep her happy. I have legit feelings of love for her. But I've got to live my life. How am I supposed to react? She probably wants me to get angry and easily manipulated but it's not happening. I think it frustrates her.
I guess I'd like to have her with me all over the world. Unfortunately it's not realistic. A Lao passport sucks for visas. Plus she doesn't have a real income. I'd have to pay for her. She was so close to getting free flights too. But after so much crap I can't justify it.
While traveling around SEA she was mostly paying for herself. I bought her a ticket home when her money ran out. She still owes me $150 for it (which she's offered to payback).
I also had to cancel our plans for Pi Mai in Luang Prabang. Another $100 in cancellation fees. She agreed to pay me half. But I haven't gotten it yet.
She crashed her motorbike three times since I've been gone. At least once she was drunk and got banged up pretty good. 3 months she drove all over the most remote parts of Lao with me. Not a scratch. Crazy.
Her attitude and personality are remarkably good considering how attractive she is. I guess because she grew up in a small village.
She'd make a good wife...except for the fact that she's probably freelanced in the past and is too manipulative. I don't think she'd trustworthy to be left alone as a wife and mother. Considering I love traveling it would never work.
Part of the problem may be my frame. It's solid. But part of her may think I'm so stupid (or so in love with her) she can do whatever she wants.
The reality is I just don't care. I'm not going to stick around Laos. I'm not going to marry her. I just want as much mileage as I can get out of the relationship.
I'm not mean about it. I genuinely care for her. I want her to have a full happy life. I want her to enjoy herself alone and with me.
But she makes this hard. She's either texting me about girls. Making me feel guilty. Or she doesn't cover her own tracks. And people start contacting me about her other guys.
I generally avoid drama with women. When together I keep it to a minimum and focus on enjoyment. So I'm looking for a system to manage this problem.
Of course when she acted out I brought the hammer down quickly. I asked her to leave our hotel room twice last trip (her boyfriend was calling every night and even contacted me distraught).
I had to act a bit upset and shocked by the scenario. Secretly I figured as much. I suspected she had a sponsor when I met her. That's to be expected with hot girls.
While I was under no illusions, I didn't pry for info. I kept it fun and casual. I hoped she might be upper class or at least able to handle her shit. But she's lazy and dumb about it.
I actually liked knowing she had a provider. From what her boyfriend told me he's an older guy back in France. He bought her house and car. I guess he's somewhat out of the picture now. Dying of cancer is what he said.
The boyfriend is newer and youngish. She got him around December while I was away for about 8 months. (Actually I was traveling in Cambodia at the time. She was too lazy and cheap to meet me.)
He's pretty blue pill. He wants to marry her and put babies inside her asap. I don't want to stand in the way. But I'm going to play and not get played.
I don't know what she sees in the guy. But I guess she can put his ugly looks aside. I thought he was handsome when he messaged me on our last trip. Some recent pics got sent my way and I actually feel sorry for her. Her options in life seem so pathetic.
He speaks Lao. He has a job that keeps him in Laos. She knows he can't get a prettier girl. And apparently he is happy to do nothing with his life, month after month. The best he could do was crossing the border to Thailand to shop. That's actually how he got her to fuck him. Ouch. I'd kill myself if that was my life. So pathetic. I just feel so sorry for her.
By now you're thinking I should next her. Yes she has some annoyances/issues. But for the most part it doesn't effect me. I travel and love my life. I'm not going to get emotional and push away a good woman to protect my ego.
Plus I know I'd have the same problems with any halfway decent girl. So I see no reason to next her. Sue me.
She's probably the best girl I've found in SEA. She's not the hottest, but close. She's not the best personality, but close. It's the combination of both her looks and personality that makes her such a good companion. And she doesn't steal. Ever.
I REALLY don't want to have to spend a week hunting around some SEA city for her replacement. Any girl I find is likely to be a clone of her. With the likelihood of stealing my shit when my back is turned. And most girls won't have the freedom to travel for months at a time.
Nevertheless, I'm getting annoyed managing her while I'm away. It's pretty much all done via texts and social media, with an occasional chat on Line app.
The dynamic is pretty straight forward:
I go to new places everyday. I post beautiful photos and video. She's said how jealous she is (though she still "likes" them along with dozens of other girls).
She's constantly worried about other "hypothetical girls" I might have met. She makes me feel guilty. Most of the time I haven't even fucked another chick. I'm picky. I'm busy. I'm in remote areas. I'm moving around every night or two. And I don't speak the languages.
I'm not slaying hundreds of chicks like she thinks. Or she thinks I take one chick with me. She's scared I have a Chinese/Thai/etc version of her that I'm hiding.
I honestly told her that I lost Chinese and Japanese versions of her. Both I could even stay with indefinitely. And it was partly because of her. They saw her in my pics and videos two winters in a row. And broke up with me. Both were a long time coming. I could have milked each longer but too much effort.
Meanwhile I know for a fact she's dating this other guy. People I know in Laos have messaged me. They like me so they want me to find a "good girl".
One girl (married to an expat) even sent me photos of my girl with her boyfriend. I had no choice but to act shocked and hurt of course. Meanwhile I'm just annoyed. It's tiresome.
She's not smart about the "cheating". I easily found her second Facebook. The main picture is her and this dude on Pi Mai. So it's dated too! No plausible deniability. Even on her main Facebook she got tagged in a photo with him sitting next to her. Duh!
How are you going to tell me you don't want to see pics of my random girls every once in awhile, meanwhile you have pics of you and a boyfriend all coupled up? And on top of that she's making me feel like the guilty one? ?
She's also got at least two Line ids. On weekends she won't read/respond to texts until Monday. I know she's with him. It's painfully obvious. But I'm still nice enough to ignore it.
So the dynamic plays out again today. I'm just getting off a Caribbean and Bermuda cruise. Not in the mood for bullshit. And friends in Lao are also texting me about her and providing visuals. So I text:
How is ___(boyfriend)?
She acts dumb; asks why I'd ask about him?
I send a frown emoticon.
She asks again.
I send screenshot the photos from her Facebooks.
Follow up with "I miss you a lot too. But let's cut the crap. It's annoying."
Takes awhile for her to read them. Then hours of radio silence.
I message the boyfriend on Facebook and say I assume she's back to dating you. It's cool but she's trying to run the same routine on me. I really thought we'd all moved past that.
I'd like to think positively about this chick. I don't want to lose ALL respect for her. But she's so dumb and like a broken record.
I "have" a Lao 9 in SEA that I enjoy traveling with. We met last year and have taken a couple trips together around Laos and Thailand.
I'm hoping to keep her available. I want to do Malaysia/Myanmar with her next winter. Finding a new girl with her looks and personality is going to be time consuming.
Overall I'm happy with her. I'm just looking to get some better behavior via long distance. I have no interest in going to see her during rainy season.
I've always told her she's free to date other guys. Just use condoms. She knows I date other girls.
She doesn't like it, but is understanding. Lately she says she doesn't want to see them on my social media. She patrols it like a hawk.
She saw a girl from a Chinese hostel in one of my videos. I wasn't even interested in this chick. Nothing happened.
Lao still sent me a wall of text. It was easy to calm her down and reassure her. But what the hell? I know she's dating a guy and lying about it. I try to ignore it. Why can't she do the same?
I want to keep her happy. I have legit feelings of love for her. But I've got to live my life. How am I supposed to react? She probably wants me to get angry and easily manipulated but it's not happening. I think it frustrates her.
I guess I'd like to have her with me all over the world. Unfortunately it's not realistic. A Lao passport sucks for visas. Plus she doesn't have a real income. I'd have to pay for her. She was so close to getting free flights too. But after so much crap I can't justify it.
While traveling around SEA she was mostly paying for herself. I bought her a ticket home when her money ran out. She still owes me $150 for it (which she's offered to payback).
I also had to cancel our plans for Pi Mai in Luang Prabang. Another $100 in cancellation fees. She agreed to pay me half. But I haven't gotten it yet.
She crashed her motorbike three times since I've been gone. At least once she was drunk and got banged up pretty good. 3 months she drove all over the most remote parts of Lao with me. Not a scratch. Crazy.
Her attitude and personality are remarkably good considering how attractive she is. I guess because she grew up in a small village.
She'd make a good wife...except for the fact that she's probably freelanced in the past and is too manipulative. I don't think she'd trustworthy to be left alone as a wife and mother. Considering I love traveling it would never work.
Part of the problem may be my frame. It's solid. But part of her may think I'm so stupid (or so in love with her) she can do whatever she wants.
The reality is I just don't care. I'm not going to stick around Laos. I'm not going to marry her. I just want as much mileage as I can get out of the relationship.
I'm not mean about it. I genuinely care for her. I want her to have a full happy life. I want her to enjoy herself alone and with me.
But she makes this hard. She's either texting me about girls. Making me feel guilty. Or she doesn't cover her own tracks. And people start contacting me about her other guys.
I generally avoid drama with women. When together I keep it to a minimum and focus on enjoyment. So I'm looking for a system to manage this problem.
Of course when she acted out I brought the hammer down quickly. I asked her to leave our hotel room twice last trip (her boyfriend was calling every night and even contacted me distraught).
I had to act a bit upset and shocked by the scenario. Secretly I figured as much. I suspected she had a sponsor when I met her. That's to be expected with hot girls.
While I was under no illusions, I didn't pry for info. I kept it fun and casual. I hoped she might be upper class or at least able to handle her shit. But she's lazy and dumb about it.
I actually liked knowing she had a provider. From what her boyfriend told me he's an older guy back in France. He bought her house and car. I guess he's somewhat out of the picture now. Dying of cancer is what he said.
The boyfriend is newer and youngish. She got him around December while I was away for about 8 months. (Actually I was traveling in Cambodia at the time. She was too lazy and cheap to meet me.)
He's pretty blue pill. He wants to marry her and put babies inside her asap. I don't want to stand in the way. But I'm going to play and not get played.
I don't know what she sees in the guy. But I guess she can put his ugly looks aside. I thought he was handsome when he messaged me on our last trip. Some recent pics got sent my way and I actually feel sorry for her. Her options in life seem so pathetic.
He speaks Lao. He has a job that keeps him in Laos. She knows he can't get a prettier girl. And apparently he is happy to do nothing with his life, month after month. The best he could do was crossing the border to Thailand to shop. That's actually how he got her to fuck him. Ouch. I'd kill myself if that was my life. So pathetic. I just feel so sorry for her.
By now you're thinking I should next her. Yes she has some annoyances/issues. But for the most part it doesn't effect me. I travel and love my life. I'm not going to get emotional and push away a good woman to protect my ego.
Plus I know I'd have the same problems with any halfway decent girl. So I see no reason to next her. Sue me.
She's probably the best girl I've found in SEA. She's not the hottest, but close. She's not the best personality, but close. It's the combination of both her looks and personality that makes her such a good companion. And she doesn't steal. Ever.
I REALLY don't want to have to spend a week hunting around some SEA city for her replacement. Any girl I find is likely to be a clone of her. With the likelihood of stealing my shit when my back is turned. And most girls won't have the freedom to travel for months at a time.
Nevertheless, I'm getting annoyed managing her while I'm away. It's pretty much all done via texts and social media, with an occasional chat on Line app.
The dynamic is pretty straight forward:
I go to new places everyday. I post beautiful photos and video. She's said how jealous she is (though she still "likes" them along with dozens of other girls).
She's constantly worried about other "hypothetical girls" I might have met. She makes me feel guilty. Most of the time I haven't even fucked another chick. I'm picky. I'm busy. I'm in remote areas. I'm moving around every night or two. And I don't speak the languages.
I'm not slaying hundreds of chicks like she thinks. Or she thinks I take one chick with me. She's scared I have a Chinese/Thai/etc version of her that I'm hiding.
I honestly told her that I lost Chinese and Japanese versions of her. Both I could even stay with indefinitely. And it was partly because of her. They saw her in my pics and videos two winters in a row. And broke up with me. Both were a long time coming. I could have milked each longer but too much effort.
Meanwhile I know for a fact she's dating this other guy. People I know in Laos have messaged me. They like me so they want me to find a "good girl".
One girl (married to an expat) even sent me photos of my girl with her boyfriend. I had no choice but to act shocked and hurt of course. Meanwhile I'm just annoyed. It's tiresome.
She's not smart about the "cheating". I easily found her second Facebook. The main picture is her and this dude on Pi Mai. So it's dated too! No plausible deniability. Even on her main Facebook she got tagged in a photo with him sitting next to her. Duh!
How are you going to tell me you don't want to see pics of my random girls every once in awhile, meanwhile you have pics of you and a boyfriend all coupled up? And on top of that she's making me feel like the guilty one? ?
She's also got at least two Line ids. On weekends she won't read/respond to texts until Monday. I know she's with him. It's painfully obvious. But I'm still nice enough to ignore it.
So the dynamic plays out again today. I'm just getting off a Caribbean and Bermuda cruise. Not in the mood for bullshit. And friends in Lao are also texting me about her and providing visuals. So I text:
How is ___(boyfriend)?
She acts dumb; asks why I'd ask about him?
I send a frown emoticon.
She asks again.
I send screenshot the photos from her Facebooks.
Follow up with "I miss you a lot too. But let's cut the crap. It's annoying."
Takes awhile for her to read them. Then hours of radio silence.
I message the boyfriend on Facebook and say I assume she's back to dating you. It's cool but she's trying to run the same routine on me. I really thought we'd all moved past that.
I'd like to think positively about this chick. I don't want to lose ALL respect for her. But she's so dumb and like a broken record.