[Purple Urkle]

First off, thank you Roosh for such a pro book/forum, you have definately taught an old dog new tricks!

However, I have what I beleive are some pertinent thoughts on Roosh's theories of Bang. Some of you will no doubt disagree. Just please refrain from name calling if you can (Beta, etc.). I really enjoy the forum and have learned a lot. My only intention is to improve the forum (and myself) and maybe save a few young men from making a bad choice or two.

There are many things in Bang that are just righteous, no doubt (even though some dudes here don't seem to get the main themes of letting go of anger, arrogance and the myth of scarcity).

If only I could have been 18 and understood Roosh's persepective and world philosophy boy could I have done some damage! I think of all the tail that just slipped through my hands because I had no game and couldn't close the deal. Ouch!

Oh well, I'm not one to dwell too much in the past, after all I'm 43, have bagged 35 or so 7's, 15 or so 8's and two 9's (notice a number or two missing?), but most important I've been lucky (compared to those around me), I've never had an STD, don't have a single "unwanted" child roaming the world (as far as I know), haven't been through the marriage/divorce process, and haven't had some psycho 20 year old hunt me down and shoot me in the face for going back home to bang my ex (can anyone say "Steve McNair" of Tennesse Titan "fame"... yeah, maybe its just me, but I'd rather be an anonymous celebate monk than dead over a piece of pussy).

Do keep in mind as I'm writing this that there's a bit of jealousy on my part (not much) when I read how all you young dudes out there are Banging Colombia! and Banging Croatia!, and Banging Persia! and, well, just banging. So, in my opinion, you should always question an authors UNCONCIOUS motive (such as my mild jealousy). Why is he writing this? Whats in it for him? Why does he see the world through this lens? What can I learn from this (if anything)?

I guess I'll start here with some "Free Advice" for anyone attempting to learn Roosh's tactics. First, always think for yourself, don't follow me or Roosh or Tom Leykis or Casanova, create your own philosophy, don't be a follower, be an inventor, be a leader of your own destiny. And in doing so "steal from the best," like Roosh, but also be a multi-disciplinarian in developing your approach. Roosh's technique is but one weapon in an unlimited arsenal of possibilities.

For instance, I have found a personalized LA style that only works for me in LA on 9's (don't try this anywhere else, I've had terrible results with this technique in San Franciso). I scored my two 9's in my late 30's in LA just by being a COMPLETE dick (no dialing it back to medium level Roosh style), saying things like "Damn Gina! You got some Huuuge-ass feet for such a little girl..." she was 6 foot and perfect. Then I busted out a roll of twenties and ones wrapped in two or three hundred dollar bills (all the money I had in the world... I was living in a van), flashed the wad, paused (long enough for her to realy take in the size of the wad), and then turned to her and said "Fuck that, I ain't buyin' you shit, you're buying me drinks tonight! Then, after three or four shots of Petron I threw out the very risky "all or nothing" clincher... "Do you always talk so much before you give head?" Next thing I know, we wake up in my van (that actually looks/smells like someone's living in it), and she says "Is this were you live?" I said something like, "Yeah, but my other home is a Mercedes." She laughed her ass off, fucked me again, bad breath, gym locker smell and all, then climbed out and bought herself a cab so she wouldn't be late to her modeling audition.

LESSON: Anything can go down in any way at any time, always be open to the impossible, the unique, the magical, and yes even the romantic because as they say, you can't win the lottery if you don't have a ticket. So just get out there and start talking to everyone (Roosh's advice too... i.e., practice your approach on dudes), but especially the 9's and 10's (because they complain that dudes never cold approach them and ask them out. Why? Because we're a bunch of pussys who are so fuckin' fragile/beta that when a hottie rejects us we either wanna' cry (soft metro-sexual type) or we wanna' tie'em up and throw em' in a trunk for a drive to the woods (self-righteous anger... the downfall emotion Roosh eloquently sheds light on).

Just stop it! Pussy ain't shit, every chicks got one and theres like 3 billion chicks in this world. You wanna' know something you should be thinking about... DEATH. You are dying man! Chew on that shit for awhile. Are you bummed out yet? Don't be, theres still time to go out to the techno club tonight and yell something stupid in Snookies ear. Just look the truth dead in the face like a man... remember, the truth shall set you free.

You're gonna' die motherfucker, and sooner than later, so follow uncle Roosh's advice and get down on your knees and humble yourself. You ain't gods gift to women. Women could give a shit about you. They just need some cock from time to time and you just have to perfect the art of being in the right place at the right time, you do that, and pussy will rain down on you. But first you gotta' stop talkin' and start listening, I mean REALLY listening, chicks will let you know when its time to take'em in the bathroom, spin'em, and rip their panties off. You just ain't listening, you're always trying to force the issue when their not on their sex cycle.

Just let it flow, learn to see and understand the nuances of women. Study'em like a book, and once you've mastered the text (like Roosh says, this takes years, for nothing good comes fast easy or cheap), you will get better at bangin' the ones you want when you want.

This is one thing I love about Roosh's approach, he focuses more on a vibe, an aura, an energy of fun, or what I call romance. Chicks just see that you're happy with your life, that your head is in the cloud of possibilites and that you don't need anything from anyone. Hence, like Roosh, you can charge out solo and just stare at the wall and dance alone and attract interest. Roosh also gives hope to the old and/or the ugly because energy and heart is more important to the good ones than anything else.

Chicks are differen't than dudes, there not so hung up on looks (for the most part), they're more into security and solidness (intelligence) and LAUGHTER (Roosh's main tenet) and most importantly POWER (which, unfortunately, often derives from having more cash than one can spend... though as we saw above, there is an exception to every rule).

Also steal from the best that history, science, art and philosophy have to offer.

Don't just focus on sex, but love (and war) in general.

Fucking is cool, but what happens if your dick gets cut off (or it ceases to function because your cheeseburger and beer diet killed your prostate), either accidentally by a surgeon who was just supposed to give you a routine circumcision (it happened to an older dude in his sexual prime recently, and no doubt his decision to do it later in life was related directly to an issue of pussy... worth it?); or by some psyhco-chick who caught you bangin' her mother and her sister and her best friend (isn't this the ultimate dream of some members of the bang club... to just fuck the entire world no matter the consequence it may or may not wreak on others?). Remember, sometimes less is more.

One technique that can be of great importance is to focus on quality, not quantiy. Less chance of getting your balls in a vice or running into my HOT younger sister who has the herp and refuses to tell guys because she's a white chick addicted to black cock (and knows if she goes around being honest she'll never get laid again). Like a junky she can't stop for one instance to consider other people. I know one thing, if somebody gave me the creapin' herp intentionally I would... I don't know what? (So any of you pro bangers out there knowingly passing your playboy funk around be careful, don't fuck with people you don't know, who knows what they're capable of... ESPECIALLY chicks.)

Ah, yes this addiction to QUANTITY... an addiction is after all an addiction. Fight it all you want, but compulsive, addictive behaviour will never allow the human to thrive and prosper to their full potential in the long run (ever wonder why HAPPILY married couples live an average of 5 to 7 years longer than their single "player," bangin' it up counterparts?). Whether its heroin, food, blow, alcohol, cigs, or pussy, too much of a good thing will kill you (and hurt others). So don't let the pussy win. Its just pussy, man. Quit freakin' out like a bunch of girls on meth.

I'll write more on the perils and FACTS of STD's especially The Creepin' Herp later. In the interim don't be scared (or angry), don't live in fear, but also don't stick your head in the sand. Condoms do work (most of the time, except of some herp that festers outside the dimensions of the condom), but herp is a nasty beast which I know most everything about (because of my sisters ordeal... I actually know more about it than her and she's the one that freakin' has it! LAME).

One thing you need to do ASAP is quit jackin' it with your own saliva. Why, because up to 70% of the population has non-sexual HSV 1 above the waist (at or in the mouth... i.e., cold sores) by the time they are four years old... no big deal, right? However, you can transfer your own benign herp 1 at the mouth to your dick with your own saliva... so before you go blaming others that you got sores on your dick, check your own mouth (and asshole, you can give it to yourself there too).

Your sexual compulsion may have already gotten you in trouble, so mellow out. And think twice before you go banging (and kissing) everything that moves (because kissing is another way to transmit herp). The doctors in this country are so fucked up, they don't even test for herp because the ONLY test worth a shit (Type Specific Syrology Tests are bogus resulting in many false positive/false negative results) is the Western Blot (the gold standard for HSV/HIV testing) out of the University of Washington and it cost a whopping $140.

The Western Blot can tell you in what hemisphere you got herp (below the waste or above the waste) if its HSV 1 or 2 and approximately when you got it (which can help you figure out whose ass to go and kick).

In addition, and in closing tonight, I would (will) suggest many of you contemplate some of the unexplicable laws of the universe... Mainly, that the best things in life come neither fast (a major tenet of Bang theory), cheap, or free. In science we say, "For every action there is an equal yet opposite reaction." The Hindu's and their corresponding sufi mystics speak of Karma, the Aboriginies of Australia speak of the boomerang theory, Judeo-Christianity: You reap what you sow. So never stop questioning who you are and how your behaviour now may affect you later in life. Choose accordingly.

And one more free lesson on sectarian thought, "When you tell one lie, you will have to tell another, and another and another." Please don't kill the messanger on these truths, I didn't invent them (and lying is a major way I get laid, after all, hotties in their twenties don't really want to bang guys in their 40's who live in vans do they?)

So, do as I say, not as I do for I'm going out right now to Bang Nicaragua... no hot chicks in Nica? Wrong.

May share some data on Nica with the elite (Roosh, Mixx and the like) but I don't want a lot of hot young guys with game and cash coming down here and blowing my scene! Man, the worlds a ruthless, contradictory place ain't it? Keep it real. I will to.

Peace,

The Purps

[Roosh]

Quote:

I guess I'll start here with some "Free Advice" for anyone attempting to learn Roosh's tactics. First, always think for yourself, don't follow me or Roosh or Tom Leykis or Casanova, create your own philosophy, don't be a follower, be an inventor, be a leader of your own destiny.

Which is why in Bang I often tell guys how to customize the material to their own personality and needs. Completely newbies should stick to the letter until their own style develops.

Thanks for the review and analysis. This is the benefit of having older guys around to teach the younger ones.

[CJ]

^
It's an interesting review alright, and I can't help but appreciate being in my 20s after reading it. Although if it weren't so long, well-articulated and used impeccable spelling I would've thought he were drunk when he went into the dying and STDs rants... oh and when he referred to you as "Uncle Roosh."

[Roosh]

Quote:

I would've thought he were drunk when he went into the dying and STDs rants

I really need to start reading longer posts more carefully.

Quote:

You're gonna' die motherfucker, and sooner than later, so follow uncle Roosh's advice and get down on your knees and humble yourself.

I just put this on my wall.

[CJ]

(08-28-2011 10:03 AM)Roosh Wrote:  

Quote:

You're gonna' die motherfucker, and sooner than later, so follow uncle Roosh's advice and get down on your knees and humble yourself.

I just put this on my wall.

The paragraph starting with that great line is probably the most relevant part of that whole post. That's what this is really all about, putting yourself in the right place, at the right time, and then having the skills to capitalize on those opportunities.

The fact that an older guy who has been in the game for years is saying that, just re-enforces my already strong beliefs.

[Samseau]

Quote:

Fucking is cool, but what happens if your dick gets cut off (or it ceases to function because your cheeseburger and beer diet killed your prostate), either accidentally by a surgeon who was just supposed to give you a routine circumcision (it happened to an older dude in his sexual prime recently, and no doubt his decision to do it later in life was related directly to an issue of pussy... worth it?); or by some psyhco-chick who caught you bangin' her mother and her sister and her best friend (isn't this the ultimate dream of some members of the bang club... to just fuck the entire world no matter the consequence it may or may not wreak on others?). Remember, sometimes less is more.

Quote:

You ain't gods gift to women. Women could give a shit about you. They just need some cock from time to time and you just have to perfect the art of being in the right place at the right time, you do that, and pussy will rain down on you.

[ersatz]

Why do you live in a van?

[OGNorCal707]

Interesting post, you brought up some good points, also I like your moniker...

And the "Uncle Roosh" part was classic, Roosh will be like a wise old uncle to a legion of young players one day.

[iknowexactly]

Tell it like it is, Brother!!!

"...and yonder before us lie
deserts of vast eternity.."

One of the best who's written on this poetically-- in the mid-1600's was - Andrew Marvell ( excerpt below)
"To His Coy Mistress"

http://www.luminarium.org/sevenlit/marvell/coy.htm

...
The grave's a fine and private place,
But none I think do there embrace.
...
Now therefore, while the youthful hue
Sits on thy skin like morning dew,
And while thy willing soul transpires
At every pore with instant fires,
...
Let us roll all our strength, and all
Our sweetness, up into one ball;
And tear our pleasures with rough strife
Thorough the iron gates of life.
Thus, though we cannot make our sun
Stand still, yet we will make him run.

[Purple Urkle]

(08-28-2011 01:00 PM)ersatz Wrote:  

Why do you live in a van?

I've been laughing to myself for 24 hrs. now over the very simple, yet poignant question "Why do you live in a van?"

Very funny. Well, I'm sure there's a simple answer to that, of course I'm not going to give one (thats just the way I roll, because remember, as Uncle Roosh says, "The alpha male lives in his own reality").

I live in a van (down by the river) for a plethora of reasons. It all started with my family I suppose, they we're just "Lets go out over there and pitch a tent tonight!" kinda' people. In the 70's our vehicle of choice was the VW van (of course), so I guess you could say Stabin' Cabins are in my blood. They're also just one of my favorite places to bang, its sort of like you're bangin' in public but you're not (well, you actually are, you just can't be seen, but you certainly can be heard!)

I didn't come from any money, and parents can't teach their children what they haven't learned (i.e., how to make money,) so early on (right out of high school) I lived in my van out of economic neccessity in an attempt to pursue my dream of becoming a professional surfer (which slowly morphed into wanting to become a professional actor/musician). Little did I know it would become a way of life for me.

Being young and angry, it then became a thing about resenting the process of paying rent to a person or "people" who I disliked (what I refer to as paying the mortgage on someonelse's investment property so they can live thier dream by robbing you of yours). It just sucked. It just seemed like flushing money down the toilet every month (and it was).

So, "finances," is a basic, pure answer I suppose. I've spent a significant portion of my life in coastal California and I figure in total I've saved myself close to $300 K over 25 years simply by sucking it up and living in a van (and numerous other vehicles including, beleive it or not a Toyota Corolla, not easy when you're 6'2").

I do get "tired" of it from time to time and rent a house or an apartment for six months or whatever [like I'm doing now here in Nicaragua, but I'm paying $300/mo. for a three bedroom house all to my head (i.e., chicks are about to start flocking), but mostly I'm a house-sitter, my friends from east coast to west just call me and say "We're gone, you know where the keys are." At this stage in my life I probably only sleep a hundred nights a year in the van as opposed to 200+ back in the day.]

I just wanted to surf, man (and bang chicks). Thats it, thats all, and the world just kept saying, "No, you can't do that, you're a loser, get a job, go to college, get married, make tons of cash and have kids otherwise you'll get an STD and die broke and alone." And I was like, "No thanks, I see another way out of this perfectly orchestrated chaos."

This is where I came up with my first theory of economic minimalism : "The less money you spend, the less money you have to make." (Sort of a dumb theory, but I was young and didn't know any better. Now, if I could do it over, I might just be the rape, burn and pillage for all the gold you can get your hands on kind of guy... but probably something in between, I do beleive in Karma after all.)

So, I learned to FORCE myself to spend very little money. This technique is called delaying gratification, and I did not invent it, it goes back thousands of years in the collective human experience (you may have heard of a man called The Buddha)... Hundreds (if not thousands) of scholars, artists, lovers, poets, historians, sages, gurus, religious figure heads and modern day psychoanalysts have purported its positive effect on the development of human character (happiness). "...Temperance and its habits of modesty, prudence, and avoidance of excess are difficult to develop because they counter stubborn flaws in human nature... We need to concentrate (meditate, focus, pray, etc.) on acquiring a trait such as modesty, because we all want to brag about ourselves." (In Bang Roosh touches on how when he was a bragger they pussy just flocked the other way).

For example, I use to play a game to see how many days in a month I could go without spending a dime (impossible if you're renting/owning because the electric meter is ticking, etc.). This included not moving my van one inch (i.e. gas costs money). Therefore, I forced myself to "hole up" on some beach and woodshed (work) on my dream(s). I learned to cook all my own meals (meaning I'm basically a self-taught vegan chef... and barbeque chicken and fish specialist... chicks get wet when they DISCOVER this about me, remember what Uncle Roosh says about NOT bragging to chicks about your special/secret qualities? Some of you dudes out there are worse than chicks, you just can't shut the fuck up, just shut up and BOMBARD them with questions, remember, most of em' are attention whores, just let them yap away, otherwise you're bound to say something stupid and talk your way right out of a prime piece of wet puss.)

I learned to work out without a gym membership ($10K savings over 20 years). I vowed to never pay for toilet paper, paper towels, sugar, salt, pepper, ketchup, creamer, napkins, mayonnaise, relish, hot sauce, mustard, plastic utensils again (thanks Mickey D's and especially Starbucks for sponsoring my world tour!). Of course, I have fallen short of this and many other "ideals" and goals, but again, I bet I've saved another $10 G's over 20 some odd years doing this.

Sweat the details and see the big picture (another Vanism philosophy). For instance, I carry a flask of single malt scotch into a bar and sip it all night, I only drink the best (something that life in the van has allowed me to "afford"), but no way am I going to pay eight bucks a snifter in a bar for top shelf (even though I can afford it now)... probably saved a good $50K "partying" this way over 20 some odd years (with no hangovers and/or puke sessions to boot!).

So, after awhile I started to realize that I was unique among my peers in that I wasn't constantly in need of certain "conditions" in order to be happy. I didn't need a hot shower every 10 seconds, a $3000 king size temperpedic mattress to sleep well, and most importantly I didn't need TV (hence I became an avid reader).

A lot of my friends (older and younger) can't even sleep one night away from their creature comforts, I mean I love them ALL, but in my opinion most of them are metro-sexual softies who are dependent on one thing or another (sex, alcohol, iPhones, etc.). They are not truly free, don't own a passport, and most are not happy (the irony is, that the 10 or so most fiscally stable, well traveled, happiest people I know are all involved in a set of five differen't marriages that revolve around monogomy, physical/intellectual/emotional discipline, and abstaining from alcohol... not for me, but it certainly works extremely well for them).

So, what I now call M.U.L.E. (Mobile Units for Living and Exploration) living is in my blood. I love being so very low-maintenance. I love that now that I'm over chicks they they seem to be way into me. I love that I'm not scared of getting old and dying. I love the romance of finally achieveing my goal of letting go of The Math World. I don't even know how much money I have (I just know its a lot). Sometimes I forget what month it is, and often I forget "the name" of the day of the week in which I'm currently existing, and rarely do I know what time it is. For me, this is all I ever wanted, to be free from want and need and desire and hence suffering (of course I haven't perfectly attained this, but I'm mostly "there" most of the time).

How do I make my money? I'll tell you what I tell all those nosy chicks in bars out there... "I buy low and sell high" (i.e., don't forget the Uncle Roosh smerk when you drop that gem) When she says, "Naw! What do you really do?... say, "Put it this way, I provide goods and services... do you need anything?"

And remember what Uncle Roosh says... do not, I repeat, do not, ever, under any circumstances laugh at your own "jokes." I just learned this from Roosh this year and it is so true. What a difference a small little adjustment can make. Its never too late to learn. Aristotle taught that you work on developing virtues over your whole life, but you don't really display them until middle age. I think he got that one right.

Peace,

The Purps

[Gmac]

You're my hero. Part of me really wants to just buy a van right now.

[Jarocho2003]

I'm having issues posting so hopefully this one sticks. I always appreciate it when a man like you gets to a point where he doesn't give a fuck about what others think of him and is just happy with his life.
I once heard that in your 20s and 30s you care too much about what others think. In your 40s you don't give a fuck about what others think. And in your 60s you realize no one cared anyways. So surf and fuck for as long as you can (I'm not sure you're surfing still, but you get my point).

[OGNorCal707]

Haha, I know exactly what you do, keep on smokin' brotha!

[K-man]

Is this your pad?

   

I'm sure you make a lot of guys here envy you ... including myself, just a little bit. I do have other things in my life which make me as happy as surfing, banging, and living frugally in a van make you. But still, there is something in the back of everyone's mind that just keeps saying "what if...''

[Roosh]

Your beliefs seem similar to Doc Paskowitz. I recommend the documentary Surfwise about him and his family...

http://movies.nytimes.com/2008/05/09/mov...yt&emc=rss

[Chad Daring]

Ive actually fantasized about living like this. Its one of my life goals, to be "homeless" for a time at the very least. Once I'm free of my debt I really want to pursue my dream or just saying fuck it and living the dream.

So shit in public places, eat on the cheap, how do you handle showers? Bathe in gods blue oceans on the beaches of Cali?

[ersatz]

Cool! Your a lot like these guys:

http://www.tynan.com
http://earlyretirementextreme.com/

If it's a literal van and not an RV, how do you deal with with showers and toliet breaks? Where do you usually park?

[Bronan the Barbarian!]

Awesome post. Break out of the matrix, say "fuck it" and do your own thing. Purple Urkel is a great screen name BTW.

[DGS]

I had met two guys who lived in a camper when I was in South FL. It worked for them, selling weed making hemp stuff and playing music. They claimed they made decent money, yet they walked about an hour home from the beach every day when the cab ride was $8.

I agree a "lifestyle" gets you into a lot of monthly expenses once it is all added up, but with the one you chose family is not really an option, right?

[KingofScotland]

Sounds like you have a nice lifestyle going on, kind of like the idea of having no fixed abode myself, I think I'm meant to be a nomad. I'm always happier when travelling than when I am at home or stuck in one place for extended periods of time. Once spent a month driving and sleeping in a VW camper and really enjoyed it for that short amount of time, not sure if I could hack it long term. The lack of shower and toilets might get to me though I managed fine at the time.

[Samseau]

I'm bumping this thread as part of my efforts to have it put into the game hall of fame. Too many gems in here to pass up.

[Roosh]

Hall of fame it goes!

[ColSpanker]

Not much to add, but it does remind me of The Seventh Law (From The Seven Laws of Money):
"There are worlds without money."

[NuMbEr7]

Purple Urkle reminds me of this guy:

[Purple Urkle]

(08-29-2011 08:05 PM)Gmac Wrote:  

You're my hero. Part of me really wants to just buy a van right now.

Thanks for the support Gmac. Love your work.