For those of you who are not aware of my posting history I'm a sexually green guy in my early 30's so if that affects your judgement I'll be happy to disclose it first.
I've recently had an experience (detailed in another thread) where I 'pulled' a sober girl from a friendly, non-meat market environment with extreme ease, though there was no physicality or sexual tension as such. What made it significant for me was that she was an adult of normal intelligence and would presumably understand the dynamics of the interaction anyway unless she somehow saw me as completely asexual, genderless and impotent.
I've always secretly hated clubs and even when a woman has shown strong interest, I've almost never acted on it because of the atmosphere. I know that black & white thinking should be avoided and all sorts of girls end up in clubs but that's just the way I've been. There's always the expectation of instasex when leaving a club with someone and the objectification of both bodies and personalities which I do not like; often before names are exchanged.
Unfortunately it seems that there's still many obstacles between me and the happiness I could have with this girl, who might still be wrong for me and vice versa but getting her attention with the ease I did was quite empowering. While I don't like the club world, my attempt to play a middle ground between sleaze and complete androgynous friend zonehood was seemingly too much for her still and she backed out.
What I've been wondering is what concentration on game does for LTR types and their mental health. As of late I've started to feel a bit strange when singing karaoke in bars; I often do this to have something to do instead of holding my glass and because my range is not that great, I tend to stick to sappy slower type songs. After all the cynicism I've absorped from reading sites like this and primarily this one I've started to feel like a clown while spelling out those lyrics; take it to mean what you will.
I've also wondered if the necessity of learning game is overemphasized due to the hordes of guys who are happy to bed almost anything they rate as passing the boner test as they say and do not give a second thought to it afterwards. It's not that I'd turn down sex handed to me on a platter, which never happens to normal guys anyway, but if a guy's sex drive is great enough, I'd imagine that he would end up going for numerous girls despite minimal IOI's and validating himself, at times, even by making those IOI's up himself. I do not doubt that a significant percentage of girls can be bedded with extreme persistence and confidence even if they never noticed him at first.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I may be in a kind of transitional stage in my 'game' but a major part of me still wants to think that game is unnecessary or has significant drawbacks as far as mental health and positive outlook is concerned if a healthy LTR is desired; you'd just have to find your niche girl or a girl with whom you simply click from the get-go. Now admittedly finding such a girl is not an easy task and it would be seemingly easier just to game aggressively on girls that only have something going for them and who are lukewarm towards you. Thinking back on my last date with the girl I've known for a little while, I may have turned her off by pushing for more dominance in interaction and feeling her boundaries a bit too early despite some subtle indication that it might not be for the best but being inundated with advice telling me that every half-way decent girl is far too popular to take your time with and the teachings regarding men having to be the initiators et cetera made me feel like acting the way I did. Had I just listened to my kind beta side, I probably would have acted more compliant, sensitive and followed more instead of leading, which might have been equally bad.
The more I know and experience, which may not be much, the less I feel like I know.
I've recently had an experience (detailed in another thread) where I 'pulled' a sober girl from a friendly, non-meat market environment with extreme ease, though there was no physicality or sexual tension as such. What made it significant for me was that she was an adult of normal intelligence and would presumably understand the dynamics of the interaction anyway unless she somehow saw me as completely asexual, genderless and impotent.
I've always secretly hated clubs and even when a woman has shown strong interest, I've almost never acted on it because of the atmosphere. I know that black & white thinking should be avoided and all sorts of girls end up in clubs but that's just the way I've been. There's always the expectation of instasex when leaving a club with someone and the objectification of both bodies and personalities which I do not like; often before names are exchanged.
Unfortunately it seems that there's still many obstacles between me and the happiness I could have with this girl, who might still be wrong for me and vice versa but getting her attention with the ease I did was quite empowering. While I don't like the club world, my attempt to play a middle ground between sleaze and complete androgynous friend zonehood was seemingly too much for her still and she backed out.
What I've been wondering is what concentration on game does for LTR types and their mental health. As of late I've started to feel a bit strange when singing karaoke in bars; I often do this to have something to do instead of holding my glass and because my range is not that great, I tend to stick to sappy slower type songs. After all the cynicism I've absorped from reading sites like this and primarily this one I've started to feel like a clown while spelling out those lyrics; take it to mean what you will.
I've also wondered if the necessity of learning game is overemphasized due to the hordes of guys who are happy to bed almost anything they rate as passing the boner test as they say and do not give a second thought to it afterwards. It's not that I'd turn down sex handed to me on a platter, which never happens to normal guys anyway, but if a guy's sex drive is great enough, I'd imagine that he would end up going for numerous girls despite minimal IOI's and validating himself, at times, even by making those IOI's up himself. I do not doubt that a significant percentage of girls can be bedded with extreme persistence and confidence even if they never noticed him at first.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I may be in a kind of transitional stage in my 'game' but a major part of me still wants to think that game is unnecessary or has significant drawbacks as far as mental health and positive outlook is concerned if a healthy LTR is desired; you'd just have to find your niche girl or a girl with whom you simply click from the get-go. Now admittedly finding such a girl is not an easy task and it would be seemingly easier just to game aggressively on girls that only have something going for them and who are lukewarm towards you. Thinking back on my last date with the girl I've known for a little while, I may have turned her off by pushing for more dominance in interaction and feeling her boundaries a bit too early despite some subtle indication that it might not be for the best but being inundated with advice telling me that every half-way decent girl is far too popular to take your time with and the teachings regarding men having to be the initiators et cetera made me feel like acting the way I did. Had I just listened to my kind beta side, I probably would have acted more compliant, sensitive and followed more instead of leading, which might have been equally bad.
The more I know and experience, which may not be much, the less I feel like I know.