[wolf]

Besides the usual replies of dump the bitch, or slap the bitch, how would you argue with a LTR effectively

I want what I'm saying to sink in her head. How do you get a point across with a girl who when you try to tell her what her problem is in a calm collected voice she takes it defensively and starts yelling back at you.

I don't want to argue just to argue. Do you argue with her by saying irrational things? Because every time I try to get somewhere she blows up.

[ElJefe]

The best way to win an argument is to avoid it in the first place. No one gives a shit who's right - especially if you only win their ill-will. Arguing is also a great way for a girl to de-pedestalize you. Girls put guys they're in love with on pedestals, you want to stay there. Don't get into a mud-fight with a girl.

A different matter entirely is win someone fucks with your personal boundaries and thinks it's OK. This happens a lot, and in this case, you need to lay down the law.

Roissy had a great example of girl who started blabbing in front of her BF's friends about how irritating her mother-in-law was. He said nothing for the first minutes. She continued. Then, without warning he roared "SHUT THE FUCK UP!". There was NO argument there, because she KNEW she had crossed the line and because this guy had mature boundaries, he was able to identify what she was doing wrong, and he knew how to act accordingly without unnecessarily making a fool of himself. It had a happy ending.

Avoid arguments - they carry little reward. But don't let that be an excuse to let someone walk all over you. She might argue back when you do let her know she crossed the line, and in this case an argument is a great way to spice the relationship and give it emotional drama girls crave.

[thesecond]

The best way is, as the above poster notes, is to not argue because it doesn't work. You're never going to increase a woman's attraction to you by arguing. But often you care about the person and you want to impart some basic facts of life.

I have some history of this. I have a strong interest in politics and sociology so when a girl says something blatantly wrong I have a strong urge to point out why she is wrong with facts and logic. If I do prove her wrong she starts getting super emotional, looking from left to right, and tries to change the subject. Or she gets really angry at how mean I am and how I don't understand her.

Logic and facts have no place when debating with women. Emotional arguments do. One little principle can help you get your point across effectively. Compromise. People are much much more likely to agree with a point if it's a compromise. This was one of the big points in Robert Cialdini's Influence, a seminal novel widely viewed as one of the best of its kind.

So, try to understand her argument. Take some small part of it which is not too disagreeable and agree with her, say it back to her so she sees you understand what she's saying. Then take your core point and give it to her in a way that fits in her worldview, with witty humour and pop culture references if possible- if it happened in a movie she liked that means a million times more than any facts you can muster.

Short and witty is the key. Never push for too much. The more you say the less likely she is to care. Also you won't be able to push her off core beliefs, only chip around the edges of them.

[JofSuperman]

I'm currently reading this book...pretty interesting.

How to Win Every Argument: The Use and Abuse of Logic

[jariel]

Trying to win an argument or make sure you get your point across to a woman is feminine energy, period.

Be a man.

[MikeCF]

An argument with a woman is based on force of will rather than force of reason.

You don't argue with a woman as you would with a man. With a woman, you make yourself so high status that she fears you will leave her.

When she gets fussy or acts the fool, you tell her to leave the room - or you yourself leave the room.

If she is getting fussy frequently, then she's thinking of leaving you. Game her harder. Make yourself less available. Spend more time on your businesses and at the gym. Make her feel lucky to ever spend time with you.

That, or dump her. Lots of women out there who would be grateful to date you. Find one of those.

[CJ]

"How to win friends & influence people" sums it up best, the best way to win an argument is indeed to avoid it.

To answer your question though Wolf, the best way is to just agree with her. Agree with everything she says, and let her tire herself out. Then go about doing whatever it is you would normally do regardless. Also, if you've got an LTR that is constantly confrontational, you'd do yourself a favor to find a replacement.

[Samseau]

Easy. Frame it as a discussion, and not an argument. Acknowledge her differences and move on.


Whenever you have a disagreement with your girl, tell her "This is an interesting discussion. I'm surprised you feel that way. {Change topic to X}".


Every girl likes discussions. All of them hate arguments.