[oceanpua]

Before game, I never dumped a girl. It was the other way around. As of late, I have started to see success with women for the first time.

And I am noticing myself grow emotionally detached from these women, after fucking. This is not just the post-sex feeling of detachment. It feels a bit more deep. Symptoms:
- If I am immersed in my projects, I will simply forget about my leads, not care to text them
- After getting bored of fucking them, I will just stop texting them completely
- I will not have a craving to see them again, basically treating them like a video game that I've played and won

Before game, I was lost in a woman's affections. I constantly thought about them. Sure it was just one woman and I had zero abundance, but I was capable of feeling like I am in love.

Today, a girl texted me 7 days after we fucked for the first time (neither of us texted during that period -- I was busy with work and in general just wanted to find new leads) asking me "curious.. what is on your mind? how did i appear to your eyes?"

I have never had to answer this kind of question before. This feeling is so foreign; I honestly was a bit disgusted when I first read it. It screams insecurity. But later I thought: I was insecure too, and I still am about some things. She's just human.

My gut instinct still says to be nice to people and reassure women like that, but I also don't want to mislead - I genuinely also feel emotionally indifferent towards her at the same time. Before game, I would've reassured her and made up some bs excuse about not having time, etc... Now, I just want to be direct, but I feel shitty doing so. And, at the risk of sounding even more psychopathic, I am trying to determine whether I can use this text to get her in bed tonight with minimal effort.

Curious - how have you guys dealt with this duality of your nice guy roots of being reassuring and compassionate and erring towards not making people feel bad VS being emotionally indifferent after game. When you do something emotionally indifferent, do you still feeling bad about it? Or has stuff like this become to petty to matter to you?

[Travesty]

Were these all American girls?

[Jones]

"reassuring and compassionate and erring towards not making people feel bad"

I feel bad for these bitches too, but what you just described is the responsibilities of a woman.

I usually resort to the mindset of: "I'm not the one who broke you".

Often, they're not marriage material for a reason. And the reason isn't always you, but likely her shitty life choices that got her to this point.

Or maybe she sucks in bed and can't make a sandwich, I don't know.

You gotta get yours, I gotta get mine.

[Disco_Volante]

Becoming good with women undoubtedly dulls your euphoria for love. When you look at their real nature it's harder to give a shit about them.

[Fortis]

Well, it could mean a few things.

Are you actually fucking women you're interested in or just banging them for validation?

It's fine to bang for validation, but you eventually get bored. Maybe it's lame, but I do genuinely enjoy it when I'm gaming a chick and she actually has some interesting shit to say. makes the whole interaction effortless and fun. I actually look forward to the date at that point and closing becomes a natural progression.

Sure, I bang chicks and forget about them still, but I try to also find chicks who are cool.

[oceanpua]

Quote:

Were these all American girls?

Last three were Italian, Albanian, and Palestinian.

Quote:

Are you actually fucking women you're interested in or just banging them for validation?

Good point. They excite me in the chase. Last one took me three dates to bang, and I really enjoyed her femininity / elusiveness; at one point she told me to basically fuck off if I was looking for an easy girl (I was being too aggressive), which turned me on immensely. So basically, I am usually interested during the chase and then once I fuck them, I get detached in a more permanent way.

But I am definitely going through the notch count phase and care more about increasing that and also becoming more sexually experienced, so that mindset does err me towards fast adventure sex as opposed to screening for personality.

[pancakemouse]

I've been like this my whole life, and it's AWESOME. I focus on my own shit, and women always come second. Women come second to sports, women come second to hanging out with friends, women come second to travel, to any events I go on, etc.

You are doing it right, man. This is what success looks like. The amazing thing is it will just make them want you more.

[RatInTheWoods]

I think this is the dark side of game, and over gaming.

I have seen the loss of humanity in some posters on here, and it worries me.

Don't forget women are humans to, and I wish people had the values of compassion, honesty and humanity when dealing with others.

Pretending to be interested in a relationship to get the bang and then pumping and dumping lacks honesty and compassion.

Is gaming without values creating the very problem with women we moan about in here?

[Agreddor]

(08-16-2016 07:08 PM)oceanpua Wrote:  

Before game, I never dumped a girl. It was the other way around. As of late, I have started to see success with women for the first time.

And I am noticing myself grow emotionally detached from these women, after fucking. This is not just the post-sex feeling of detachment. It feels a bit more deep. Symptoms:
- If I am immersed in my projects, I will simply forget about my leads, not care to text them
- After getting bored of fucking them, I will just stop texting them completely
- I will not have a craving to see them again, basically treating them like a video game that I've played and won

Before game, I was lost in a woman's affections. I constantly thought about them. Sure it was just one woman and I had zero abundance, but I was capable of feeling like I am in love.

Today, a girl texted me 7 days after we fucked for the first time (neither of us texted during that period -- I was busy with work and in general just wanted to find new leads) asking me "curious.. what is on your mind? how did i appear to your eyes?"

I have never had to answer this kind of question before. This feeling is so foreign; I honestly was a bit disgusted when I first read it. It screams insecurity. But later I thought: I was insecure too, and I still am about some things. She's just human.

My gut instinct still says to be nice to people and reassure women like that, but I also don't want to mislead - I genuinely also feel emotionally indifferent towards her at the same time. Before game, I would've reassured her and made up some bs excuse about not having time, etc... Now, I just want to be direct, but I feel shitty doing so. And, at the risk of sounding even more psychopathic, I am trying to determine whether I can use this text to get her in bed tonight with minimal effort.

Curious - how have you guys dealt with this duality of your nice guy roots of being reassuring and compassionate and erring towards not making people feel bad VS being emotionally indifferent after game. When you do something emotionally indifferent, do you still feeling bad about it? Or has stuff like this become to petty to matter to you?

I feel the same way. Often when I'm out with a girl, I catch myself thinking "Man I could be using this time to work on my projects"

It is, if you will, leisure for me. Most women aern't worth your while and I see them as orifices. As someone mentioned, it is their shitty choices that make them non-marriage material.

Heres the thing, we all got into game because we were somehow burnt by a girl we considered special. Whenever I go out, I see alot of guys with sub-par women and I'm sure they think they were the one.

Once you become seasoned in the game, you'll learn that this is the pricey you pay for seeing things the way you are.

Having said that, I think that quality women are of a higher calibre obviously, and when you're around them, the feeling of detachment will still be there, albeit to a much smaller degree. Women being women will always want to do stupid shit which take time from what we find important.

To sum up: Don't feel bad about feeeling detachment, we all do.

[Agreddor]

(08-17-2016 12:42 AM)RatInTheWoods Wrote:  

I think this is the dark side of game, and over gaming.

I have seen the loss of humanity in some posters on here, and it worries me.

Don't forget women are humans to, and I wish people had the values of compassion, honesty and humanity when dealing with others.

Pretending to be interested in a relationship to get the bang and then pumping and dumping lacks honesty and compassion.

Is gaming without values creating the very problem with women we moan about in here?

Rat: I agree with you that gaming a woman under the pretense of being in a relationship is conniving. But most of us game women neither explictly telling them we want monogamy, nor denying it. Is it really our faults or theirs for assuming something which did not exist to begin with?

[kaotic]

We actually talked about this in a conversation I started here along with Stalin

thread-24128...pid1374254

WIA had some sage advice for experienced dudes:

(08-16-2016 01:55 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

Both you guys are in the right head space to evaluate a chick's long term qualities.

Fight the disillusionment.

WIA

Agreddor brings up being burnt by someone special, which may be true, isn't the end all.

I had a pretty good LTR after leaning game and ended things because were on different paths. Game let me enjoy that relationship till it ended - without it I'd probably be some worshipping beta.

I've found chicks because of game who were cool to kick it with, obviously this last for a certain amount of time.

I don't "love" women, but I love gaming, dating, banging women, especially if their good company. I think a guy who has a good mindset of this is LINUX, he loves women, he just might not be in love with any of them.

Don't burn a good woman if you don't have a reason to, just end it. More than likely you're the one whose going to end things, so do it the best way and mature way as possible.

There are ALREADY enough jaded bitches in this world, I try not to contribute to that.

Women should indeed be secondary to your own needs, nothing wrong with being selfish.

When it comes to marriage and children, it should be the same, with clear obvious changes.


It's like jacking off, yeah it's fun, then you get off and feel amazing. Then you feel bored/depressed/lethargic after and might be over it.

The same goes with the chase - you game, you date, you smash through shit tests, you smash through LTR, you leave her soaking wet and you get your nut.

Then after awhile it gets boring.


I don't look to women for some intellectual conversation, I look for compatibility and companionship. See if they complement my life and if they have some interesting shit to say cool - it adds to our situation.

I don't have the greatest moral compass (more fucked up than anything) - I had a decent LTR - but I had 2 mini LTR's on the side and banged plenty of girls and spun a few plates. Not really the most honorable thing to do, but kept me sane and leveled in my LTR. Maybe I'm slightly a sociopath.

I think it bears repeating, not every man is cut out to be a player, not every man is cut out to have children, not every man is cut out to have a very long LTR. Some men do indeed want to find love, some will always have a shield up, and some will never get locked down.

It's not meant for everyone.

[WestIndianArchie]

East Indian Agatha told me when I started game back in the 00's that too many women would spoil me.

She was right and wrong.

WIA

[AWright]

I've heard the term icy veteran when it comes to getting good with women, in my opinion it couldn't be more true.

[El Padrone]

Some quotes to help you along.

When you don't give a damn about women, they'll cling to you like human barnacles.

The one with the power in any relationship is the one who couldnt care less.

Give a woman heaven, and she'l complain of the view, give her hell, and she'l offer to pay rent.

[oceanpua]

Thanks for the posts guys. I feel like a lot of this advice is aimed towards getting a woman to worship you as a man. This is well and good, but my OP is more focused on the problem that I lose MY interest with these girls after I bang them (after I "win"). I don't particularly care if THEY still like me or not. In fact, I often want them to forget about me, so I don't have to deal with the "breakup" text.

I don't think my thinking this way is normal, especially with girls whom I genuinely find attractive until the bang (i.e. not "easy" girls). This is what bothers me. I was able to feel a deep love for girls before, when I had zero abundance. Now I'm finding the same feeling impossible.

Before game, I loved a girl so she can return the favor. Now I want to love a girl so I be motivated to keep gaming her. Both need love, but the latter scenario, as we all strongly believe, is better for both parties involved.

[debeguiled]

(08-17-2016 07:36 AM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

East Indian Agatha

[kaotic]

(08-20-2016 10:35 AM)oceanpua Wrote:  

Thanks for the posts guys. I feel like a lot of this advice is aimed towards getting a woman to worship you as a man. This is well and good, but my OP is more focused on the problem that I lose MY interest with these girls after I bang them (after I "win"). I don't particularly care if THEY still like me or not. In fact, I often want them to forget about me, so I don't have to deal with the "breakup" text.

I don't think my thinking this way is normal, especially with girls whom I genuinely find attractive until the bang (i.e. not "easy" girls). This is what bothers me. I was able to feel a deep love for girls before, when I had zero abundance. Now I'm finding the same feeling impossible.

Before game, I loved a girl so she can return the favor. Now I want to love a girl so I be motivated to keep gaming her. Both need love, but the latter scenario, as we all strongly believe, is better for both parties involved.

Anytime we bust a nut we have a moment of clarity, then possible regret or disgust.

With jacking off it feels all fine and dandy up until busting a nut and then feeling lethargic, sad, or depressed.

When we bang a mediocre girl, our heart races, we're hard as a diamond, FINALLY we get the bang, personally, I get up after the nut, wash up, look at myself in the mirror with a smile knowing I've got a new notch.

Then depending on the girl most times than not, we aren't a fan of cuddling, we just want to fall asleep, or want her to leave.

Sometimes we don't mind a girl staying over, or we're both wasted.


You're beginning to realize the truth about women, they're all the same, their isn't some one true love, love itself has various flaws and holes. We don't have soul mates or one true lover.

You're starting to think of women on a logical level, and less with emotion.

You get a little detached - which isn't a bad thing.

You need to stop thinking of it as "love" and start thinking about how much a woman aligns with your values and compliments your life.


This doesn't mean you can't enjoy women and be happy around them.

Honestly it's hard to put into words how I'm trying to detach love from the relationship.

[alecks]

This thread is the definition of game recognized.


Stern, stern but fair.