[kimleebj]

Let's share perspectives and strategy on Speed Dating.

I've done two. Basically you get an equal number of men and women in in recommended age ranges, African-American, Punjabi, Jewish, etc. Then spend four minutes talking with each person. Later you can contact them through an e-mail system.

My natural stupid inclination was to ask about basic background "resume" crap. Asking about marital history was especially bad and seemed needy. Instead you should use four minutes to build a little attraction and rapport. You can screen for education/job/religion later by e-mail or phone. This might be the ideal time to use your cocky, funny banter.

The women are an average cross-section of available women (slightly worse than the average population). Many sign up with friends as a social thing. They are probably less serious and just testing the waters. I don't know if you should just tell them you like them and give them a business card. On the one hand it shows you are confident and too independent for a silly e-mail system. On the other hand it adds pressure. How do you ask for a number in only four minutes?

Overall this is a cheap and efficient way to meet people.

(07-31-2011 10:25 PM)Hokie30 Wrote:  

I went to an OPEN BAR Four Minute Speed Dating Singles Party event sponsored by Things To Do DC.com. Really wasn't worth the money. The women who showed up were a mix of 4-6s with only 1 or two 7+ and even though I was the sharpest dressed cat in the place and thought that my talking skills were up to par still had some bitch@$ telling me that they came to the event only because their friends asked them to. WTF? Furthermore, the whole name card and index card idea is stupid. If you like someone just ask them for a number, why write it down on an index card and give it to event co-ordinator?

(08-01-2011 05:00 AM)Smitty Wrote:  

I've done the prosinthecity.com events before. I'm not into the whole speed dating thing, but the women who go tend to also think the event is lame and attend because they know there will be a big group of single guys in one location. I've left with phone numbers almost every time.

[TheWolfHowls]

I've had lots of trouble at ThingsToDC/meetup.com events. Its as if the girls are in a totally different mindset. Why is it that social event game is harder than regular game? Even when you play that strategy?

[Basil Ransom]

I went to two in college, it kind of sucked.

The second time, I brought a book, and had it sitting in front of me prominently. I'd point to the book, or they'd ask, and I'd say something like, "if someone turns out to be boring, I can just get back to reading this cool book someone just gave me. I'm sure they won't mind." Instant asshole cred, dry humor, cute girls love it. And it puts the girl on notice, that you're not just gonna lap her up.

Then you can proceed to make fun of how everyone else takes it so seriously, and it's a joke you share with her. The ugly, earnest girls might not take it so well though.

[Smitty]

My strategy was to always ask the "what's your favorite food" type of question. Fat girls are turned off by the question = mission accomplished. Medium-sized chics will almost always choose a restaurant instead of a food type thinking they are playing it safe so they don't come across as the pig they are. The hotties though, they are ALWAYS passionate about food. Especially in the DC area..they will tell you how much they LOVE to eat thai, vietnamese, and go to wine tastings etc. You don't have much time at all during these events so you have to make it interesting from your angle too so be prepared to talk about some local places you really love (you had better know them in case she does too). Make sure they aren't popular places. And if you're feeling the vibe and you think she is too, then you swap contact info and agree to go check one out.

Bottom line: Go food for the icebreaker during speed dating. Stay away from resume, career, and all that shit. She wants you to talk about career because she wants to know you're a beta (stable, boring life with a good income)...but inside, she wants the alpha who will take her out, shove cheese, chocolate and wine down her throat and then cum on her face like the dirty slut she is. Go fishing, my boy.

[Smitty]

I should note that my message above is best for the DC area. I've been to speed dating in Honolulu and just being white (half the women were japanese looking for a man to help them stay in the country) was enough to score numbers. DC though, they ladies are materialistic and shallow...so fake and predictable. They are walking zombies in make-up..drinking their frappucino on the metro in the morning as they zone out and think about the finger that was in their ass last Saturday night.

[Arado]

In the DC speed dating events I've been to, the women are even more into screening for career/etc than a typical girl at a bar (who also usually ask about it within the first few questions) so the times I tried to joke around/played the alpha card they got a bit annoyed. Could be the awful ratio at the events I went to.

[Smitty]

Think about which females are most attracted to speed dating - the so-called career-oriented women who have no social life and no interest in the bar/club scene. Lots and lots of your typical DC women - graduate degrees, very accomplished in their careers etc. So of course they don't want a man who they would classify as a loser. But you can't let them play on their field and by their rules. You also can't go act arrogant/cocky and expect to score at a speed dating event...at least I wouldn't be successful that way. It's all about controlling the brief conversation and 1) getting them interested in you and 2) using a topic as a springboard for something more fun (see comment about food above). And you have a quick four minutes to make it all happen. They are judging you based on looks, communication, confidence and charisma. Play it even-keeled and be an alpha - not arrogant, but control the conversation.

[kimleebj]

(08-01-2011 08:52 PM)Smitty Wrote:  

always ask the "what's your favorite food" type of question. ... And if you're feeling the vibe and you think she is too, then you swap contact info and agree to go check one out.

Good stuff. But let's get specific. She thinks you are cute and alpha. So after three minutes you ask for her number? Alternatively you could just tell her you will contact her through the speed dating system. Or you could hand her a business card with your cell phone on the back. Sorry to belabor this. But it is a weird environment and you use precious seconds getting that number. You could also seem a little beta asking for it. How do you ask, and do you jot it down with a pencil or cell phone?

For example:

Her: "Oh yes, I love Vietnamese food too!"
You: "No so fast dear, I just met you. You need to earn the right to eat Vietnamese food with me."
Her: Giggles ... .
You: "Hey, this event is lame but we should hang out and get to know each other. Give me your number and let's talk."

[Smitty]

(08-01-2011 10:04 PM)kimleebj Wrote:  

Good stuff. But let's get specific. She thinks you are cute and alpha. So after three minutes you ask for her number? Alternatively you could just tell her you will contact her through the speed dating system. Or you could hand her a business card with your cell phone on the back. Sorry to belabor this. But it is a weird environment and you use precious seconds getting that number. You could also seem a little beta asking for it. How do you ask, and do you jot it down with a pencil or cell phone?

You have to make full use of the time afterwards at the bar. Most ladies will not swap contact info while standing in line across from you (during the actual event). So you have to set the stage during the actual speed dating event, and then when it is over go chat her up again and swap contact info. It's my opinion that most come there just to hang out at the bar before/after and because they know single guys will be there. The actual speed dating event just greases the skids...an icebreaker of sorts. But stay at the bar afterwards, let the crowd thin a little (15-20 mins) and then go fishing.

If you need a wing, I'll go with you or set you up with a friend of mine who goes all the time. I've always found it helpful to have a wing at these things.

They used to do a "lock and key" type of thing where you had a key and had to try it on every lock until you found the right one. No time limits or anything. Not sure if they do that anymore.

Keep in mind, they have other events where you spend 20 or 30 minutes at a table sampling wine and then rotate to another table. You can get really fucked up by the time it is over and I've heard these are a bit more fun (and realistic for hooking up). Never done one though.

The events in Hawaii had some weird email notification that let you know the next day who was interested in you. After drinking the entire night, I would always forget who was who. Prosinthecity never followed up with this kind of thing (even though they will advertise it).

[silent_scope]

I went to one event in DC. The women were boring as hell and were on autopilot asking generic resume questions. Its funny though, all the events I heard about they practically had to beg men to come by making the event free for us. The ratio was 4 to 1 women to men at the one I attended and they had 3 rounds, some guys got to go twice.

Apparently these women were all looking for the same type of guy, and whatever that was, I was not it. They did not hide their displeasure and I didn't hide mine. So needless to say it was really easy for me chatting up these cold bitches. Plus they were a captive audience. I had a good time because it was plenty of women there and I got to work on my small talk game a little. They were mad because there wasn't enough dudes. I did get one match out of it though. We went on 2 dates and she gave me a shit test on the second. I didn't see her again after that because I wasn't happy about the shit testing, but at least she paid for herself.