[genevincent]

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/danielle-p...39476.html

Why Being the Cool Girl Isn’t So Cool After All

Quote:

In my post-divorce dating life, I’ve made a magical transformation from the jealous, love-sick, relationship-addict I once was, into that really cool girl who rarely gets her feathers ruffled. I’m cool with open relationships, undefined relationships, and friends-with-benefits arrangements. I don’t need a man to commit to being exclusive, and in fact, I prefer that he doesn’t so that I can continue enjoying my freedom... and my glorious nights of sleep sans snoring. On first dates, I boast about how I don’t get jealous, how I don’t get attached to men the way I used to, how happy I am just being me, and all sorts of cool-girl jabber that makes men go, “Wow, she’s different from all the rest.”

Or perhaps they’re thinking, “I can take her to bed and I don’t even have to text her the next day? Sweet!”

And yes, I am essentially telling them that they can do just that, and it’s all cool because I’m the cool girl who doesn’t get upset about anything!

Well, let’s just back it up a bit. As calm and collected as I may be in matters of dating, I’m still human. I still care deeply about the man friends with whom I share “benefits.” I respect them and would never want to hurt them. But the problem, I’m finding, with being the ever-desirable Cool Girl, is that I end up getting hurt quite a bit because I have given the men in my life the impression that anything goes.

Boys, sorry to break it to you, but I do have my limits, and those limits have been seriously tested in the last year.

In no particular order, I’d like to share four cautionary dating tales* which illustrate why being the cool girl perhaps isn’t so cool after all.

*Names and certain identifying details have been changed in the following stories to preserve anonymity.

1. The man with whom Jane has been in an undefined relationship for a couple of years — let’s call him Dick just for the sake of this story — suddenly emails Jane to tell her that his child was born last night. This is exactly seven days after Jane spent a lovely week at Dick’s house, both as his close friend and a bit more. During said week, there was no mention of an impending baby. Or of the mother of that baby. Not a bib or a onesie in sight. But Jane’s a cool chick who can overlook the fact that Dick spent multiple nights in her company without mentioning the imminent birth of his child, right?

2. Jane spends a week with a man who falls into the friends-with-benefits category — let’s call him Dick just for the sake of the narrative. Dick spoils Jane with massages, chocolate, and mind-blowing orgasms, only to leave her bed for a yoga retreat where he falls for a girl who might be “the one.” With only two days of side-by-side down dogs under their belts, they are entering into a bi-coastal long-distance relationship. Jane thinks about how Dick has reiterated at least five times in recent months that he doesn’t see a future with her, but that he still loves her (and her bed). Granted, Jane doesn’t see a future with him either, but considering they were just intimate a few days ago and now he’s suddenly floating into her house on a yoga love cloud, Jane does feel that this transition has been rather abrupt. When Dick showers in Jane’s bathtub, steals her towel, and jets out of her house to sleep on a cot in his office, Jane wonders if perhaps she is playing this a little too cool.

3. A sexy cowboy with whom Jane spent two spectacular nights last year — let’s call him Dick just for the sake of... well, you know — reappears unexpectedly at a friend’s party. Jane remembers how Dick never texted last year except for when he swooped into town and needed a booty call. And yet, when Jane spots him at the party looking like a replica of Bradley Cooper, she is powerless to his charms, and she spends a third spectacular night in his arms. She knows Dick is not going to text her after he leaves town the next day. And she’s totally cool with it. Until he actually leaves town and doesn’t text her the next day, or the day after that...

4. A dashing surgeon who Jane met on a flight to Paris — let’s call him Dick just for the sake of patient/doctor confidentiality — turns out to be the best flight buddy Jane has ever had. Dick and Jane talk for hours, and when the lights go down, Dick kisses Jane on the plane! Just as Jane thinks this flight is taking her straight to heaven, Dick asks her to join him in the bathroom for the mile high club. Even though Jane is a super cool chick, she tells Dick that she doesn’t usually go mile high on the first flight. In fact, she never plans to go mile high in a cramped, smelly bathroom in coach. Dick is so intrigued by Jane’s chill attitude on relationships (namely that she’s not going to ask him to be in one) that he asks her out for a drink in the City of Love. Two glasses in, Dick tells Jane that he can’t invite her over to his apartment because his “ex” girlfriend still has a key, she still has “some” of her belongings at his place, and she still sleeps there “sometimes.” As an alternative, Dick invites Jane to his friend’s empty AirBnB apartment for a clandestine meet-up where he hopes she will sleep with him in the one hour he has free before he rushes off to dinner with “friends.” It’s cool, right?

No, Dick, it’s not cool. Jane can only take so much jackassery before she realizes that perhaps it’s time to throw Cool Girl out the plane window and take a new approach to dating. Granted, she doesn’t yet have a clue what that approach will be, but she knows one thing: she values herself too much to play the Cool Girl any longer.

WYB and call her afterwards?

[eatthishomie]

Based on what I see, WB.

Whether I'd call her afterwards depends.

[AboveAverageJoe]

Definitely WB unless she is a fatty. I love easy women.

[Suits]

New strategy suggestion: instead of taking dick from men who are out of her league and fully capable of replacing her with a woman just like her just about any day of the week, Jane could date men who are at her level who would actually value her.

Of course, those men aren't attractive to Jane, because she's become accustomed to bobbing on the penises of men who are 7's and 8's, despite being too old to compete with female 7's, (making her a de facto 6 or worse).

Too bad, Jane.

[AboveAverageJoe]

Apparently she chooses to date Dick's.
Dick sees Jane.
Dick fucks Jane.
Jane sees Dick run.
Jane does not hear Dick call.
Jane loves Dick.

[Aurini]

Jane needs to start offering something more than just a cock-cozy and a bad attitude.

[Captainstabbin]

Her books seem to be standard revenge porn for women who couldn't keep a man.

The women in her stories seem to be career chicks who thought they could expect a man's undying fidelity without having to offer much in return. When that doesn't work out, she leaves him thinking she can easily trade up. When that doesn't work out, she starts taking miles of dick for the attention and to pretend these men care for her.

Unlike real life, this strategy works famously well and she finds an exciting man who offers marriage.

Quote:

Charlotte Summers is a sassy, young French teacher two days away from moving to Paris. Love of her life by her side, for those romantic kisses walking along the Seine? Check. Dream of studying at the prestigious Sorbonne University? Admission granted. But when she discovers her fiancé’s online dating profile and has a little chat with the busty red-head he’s been sleeping with on the side, she gives up on committed relationships and decides to navigate Paris on her own. Flings with no strings in the City of Light—mais oui!


Determined to stop other women from finding themselves in her shoes, Charlotte creates an anonymous blog on how to date like a man in the City of Love—that is, how to jump from bed to bed without ever falling in love. But, with a slew of Parisian men beating down her door, a hot new neighbor who feeds her chocolate in bed, and an appearance by her ex-fiancé, she isn’t so sure she can keep her promise to remain commitment-free. When Charlotte agrees to write an article for a popular women’s magazine about her Parisian dating adventures—or disasters, rather—will she risk losing the one man who’s swept her off her feet and her dream job in one fell swoop?

[genevincent]

(07-09-2016 01:18 AM)Captainstabbin Wrote:  

Her books seem to be standard revenge porn for women who couldn't keep a man.

The women in her stories seem to be career chicks who thought they could expect a man's undying fidelity without having to offer much in return. When that doesn't work out, she leaves him thinking she can easily trade up. When that doesn't work out, she starts taking miles of dick for the attention and to pretend these men care for her.

Unlike real life, this strategy works famously well and she finds an exciting man who offers marriage.

Quote:

Charlotte Summers is a sassy, young French teacher two days away from moving to Paris. Love of her life by her side, for those romantic kisses walking along the Seine? Check. Dream of studying at the prestigious Sorbonne University? Admission granted. But when she discovers her fiancé’s online dating profile and has a little chat with the busty red-head he’s been sleeping with on the side, she gives up on committed relationships and decides to navigate Paris on her own. Flings with no strings in the City of Light—mais oui!


Determined to stop other women from finding themselves in her shoes, Charlotte creates an anonymous blog on how to date like a man in the City of Love—that is, how to jump from bed to bed without ever falling in love. But, with a slew of Parisian men beating down her door, a hot new neighbor who feeds her chocolate in bed, and an appearance by her ex-fiancé, she isn’t so sure she can keep her promise to remain commitment-free. When Charlotte agrees to write an article for a popular women’s magazine about her Parisian dating adventures—or disasters, rather—will she risk losing the one man who’s swept her off her feet and her dream job in one fell swoop?

Why do all of these chicks have such a deep obsession with Paris?

All of her books are pretty much Sex In The City: Paris Edition

[John Michael Kane]

Her looks aren't hurting her. She's just not as cool as she imagines. She is clearly targeting unavailable men, and refuses to take any agency in the predictable results. She's unable to settle down with a man who she is willing to settle for. I feel wholly unsorry given that in her prime she was certainly a hottie.

[General Stalin]

You offer men easy, casual, NSA sex and they capitalize on it. Amazing. Truly ground breaking stuff here.

Does she mean to say that getting pumped and dumped like the warm, wet meat sock that she is isn't actually as "cool" as she thought? Color me surprised.

[262]

^^^

[CRR]

When will women learn that men want to come home to a nice, pleasant woman, NOT a sassy, arrogant cunt. Perhaps she will realize after years of getting pumped and quickly dumped it's not everyone else who is the problem. After all, there is one constant in all of these situations, and that is her.

All of this is rhetorical of course, since we know that while most men develop an equilibrium with their attitude, humility, taking life as it comes as they get older, single women develop even more of a shitty, entitled attitude.

So long as our society promotes 'female empowerment' above all else including reality, this will not change. At least it is hilarious to watch.

[Easy_C]

(07-09-2016 01:52 AM)John Michael Kane Wrote:  

Her looks aren't hurting her. She's just not as cool as she imagines. She is clearly targeting unavailable men, and refuses to take any agency in the predictable results. She's unable to settle down with a man who she is willing to settle for. I feel wholly unsorry given that in her prime she was certainly a hottie.

But that's the basic lie that most of them aren't smart enough to figure out. They're promised Sex and the City with all of it's "empowerement" and "freedom", and end up being treated more like a used kleenex that you discard once you've blown your (metaphorical) nose in it.

[eradicator]

Would bang, and would not call or text the next day

[Vaun]

Cities are full of women like these. They are primarily what you find in dating apps. I would put the age range at 28-40. They make approaching and sex unfortunate and boring, even though sometimes they are highly skilled at sex. Its easy to bed just about every one I meet. They are the sad after birth of feminism.

For any of you young players looking to sharpen your skills, or get some easy first lays, here you go. You can have them.

[Foolsgo1d]

^ Young girls are just as easy for young guys who aren't fuck ups. Older women are just MILF/GILF cards and take bare minimum gamemanship to hook and because they have their own place most often the younger guys can entertain the idea without repercussions.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Being addicted to hamster is worse than being addicted to heroin.

[Dr. Howard]

That guy who is #4...Forum member for sure. I remember threads to the same effect of the air bnb strategy he used.

This girl is taking the bottom out of the hooker market. Driving down prices by being a slut for free.

Let me contrast this with a short story from the other day:

My buddy who has been dating girls since his live in fiancee ghosted on him one day 4 years ago has a track record of about a 1 week to a month before he's nexting women. They are "typical" women, either young sluts, crazy divorcees, career women trying to be men etc. About a month ago he just snapped this one girl up, introducing her to his parents etc already. What is she like? Sweet, polite, christian, sexually conservative, dresses conservatively but feminine like say...campaign trail Melania. Modern women just don't get it, 4 years of crass pump and dump sluts that couldn't land this guy and this chick that keeps her legs closed and is feminine locks this guy down after a week.

Being an easy slut gets bitches laid, but never gets them the relationship.

[nomadbrah]

WB, not call but text next day.

[Thersites]

(07-09-2016 06:13 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Being addicted to hamster is worse than being addicted to heroin.

At least with heroin, there is treatment plan and drugs available to get you clean. No such thing for the hamster.

[Aquiles_Baesta_Parada]

Comment on page

Quote:

A story as old as time. If you give away the product, you signal low value to the market. The market responds accordingly.

[EDantes]

(07-09-2016 12:03 AM)genevincent Wrote:  

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/danielle-p...39476.html

Why Being the Cool Girl Isn’t So Cool After All

Quote:

In my post-divorce dating life, I’ve made a magical transformation from the jealous, love-sick, relationship-addict I once was, into that really cool girl who rarely gets her feathers ruffled. I’m cool with open relationships, undefined relationships, and friends-with-benefits arrangements. I don’t need a man to commit to being exclusive, and in fact, I prefer that he doesn’t so that I can continue enjoying my freedom... and my glorious nights of sleep sans snoring. On first dates, I boast about how I don’t get jealous, how I don’t get attached to men the way I used to, how happy I am just being me, and all sorts of cool-girl jabber that makes men go, “Wow, she’s different from all the rest.”

Or perhaps they’re thinking, “I can take her to bed and I don’t even have to text her the next day? Sweet!”

And yes, I am essentially telling them that they can do just that, and it’s all cool because I’m the cool girl who doesn’t get upset about anything!

Well, let’s just back it up a bit. As calm and collected as I may be in matters of dating, I’m still human. I still care deeply about the man friends with whom I share “benefits.” I respect them and would never want to hurt them. But the problem, I’m finding, with being the ever-desirable Cool Girl, is that I end up getting hurt quite a bit because I have given the men in my life the impression that anything goes.

Boys, sorry to break it to you, but I do have my limits, and those limits have been seriously tested in the last year.

In no particular order, I’d like to share four cautionary dating tales* which illustrate why being the cool girl perhaps isn’t so cool after all.

*Names and certain identifying details have been changed in the following stories to preserve anonymity.

1. The man with whom Jane has been in an undefined relationship for a couple of years — let’s call him Dick just for the sake of this story — suddenly emails Jane to tell her that his child was born last night. This is exactly seven days after Jane spent a lovely week at Dick’s house, both as his close friend and a bit more. During said week, there was no mention of an impending baby. Or of the mother of that baby. Not a bib or a onesie in sight. But Jane’s a cool chick who can overlook the fact that Dick spent multiple nights in her company without mentioning the imminent birth of his child, right?

2. Jane spends a week with a man who falls into the friends-with-benefits category — let’s call him Dick just for the sake of the narrative. Dick spoils Jane with massages, chocolate, and mind-blowing orgasms, only to leave her bed for a yoga retreat where he falls for a girl who might be “the one.” With only two days of side-by-side down dogs under their belts, they are entering into a bi-coastal long-distance relationship. Jane thinks about how Dick has reiterated at least five times in recent months that he doesn’t see a future with her, but that he still loves her (and her bed). Granted, Jane doesn’t see a future with him either, but considering they were just intimate a few days ago and now he’s suddenly floating into her house on a yoga love cloud, Jane does feel that this transition has been rather abrupt. When Dick showers in Jane’s bathtub, steals her towel, and jets out of her house to sleep on a cot in his office, Jane wonders if perhaps she is playing this a little too cool.

3. A sexy cowboy with whom Jane spent two spectacular nights last year — let’s call him Dick just for the sake of... well, you know — reappears unexpectedly at a friend’s party. Jane remembers how Dick never texted last year except for when he swooped into town and needed a booty call. And yet, when Jane spots him at the party looking like a replica of Bradley Cooper, she is powerless to his charms, and she spends a third spectacular night in his arms. She knows Dick is not going to text her after he leaves town the next day. And she’s totally cool with it. Until he actually leaves town and doesn’t text her the next day, or the day after that...

4. A dashing surgeon who Jane met on a flight to Paris — let’s call him Dick just for the sake of patient/doctor confidentiality — turns out to be the best flight buddy Jane has ever had. Dick and Jane talk for hours, and when the lights go down, Dick kisses Jane on the plane! Just as Jane thinks this flight is taking her straight to heaven, Dick asks her to join him in the bathroom for the mile high club. Even though Jane is a super cool chick, she tells Dick that she doesn’t usually go mile high on the first flight. In fact, she never plans to go mile high in a cramped, smelly bathroom in coach. Dick is so intrigued by Jane’s chill attitude on relationships (namely that she’s not going to ask him to be in one) that he asks her out for a drink in the City of Love. Two glasses in, Dick tells Jane that he can’t invite her over to his apartment because his “ex” girlfriend still has a key, she still has “some” of her belongings at his place, and she still sleeps there “sometimes.” As an alternative, Dick invites Jane to his friend’s empty AirBnB apartment for a clandestine meet-up where he hopes she will sleep with him in the one hour he has free before he rushes off to dinner with “friends.” It’s cool, right?

No, Dick, it’s not cool. Jane can only take so much jackassery before she realizes that perhaps it’s time to throw Cool Girl out the plane window and take a new approach to dating. Granted, she doesn’t yet have a clue what that approach will be, but she knows one thing: she values herself too much to play the Cool Girl any longer.

WYB and call her afterwards?

Well she looks kind of like lassie, just throwing that out there:

[rpg]

Id imagine she is pretty loose down there and after sticking it in, the guys cant feel a thing. Who would want to commit to that.

[Surreyman]

(07-09-2016 07:02 AM)Dr. Howard Wrote:  

That guy who is #4...Forum member for sure. I remember threads to the same effect of the air bnb strategy he used.

This girl is taking the bottom out of the hooker market. Driving down prices by being a slut for free.

Let me contrast this with a short story from the other day:

My buddy who has been dating girls since his live in fiancee ghosted on him one day 4 years ago has a track record of about a 1 week to a month before he's nexting women. They are "typical" women, either young sluts, crazy divorcees, career women trying to be men etc. About a month ago he just snapped this one girl up, introducing her to his parents etc already. What is she like? Sweet, polite, christian, sexually conservative, dresses conservatively but feminine like say...campaign trail Melania. Modern women just don't get it, 4 years of crass pump and dump sluts that couldn't land this guy and this chick that keeps her legs closed and is feminine locks this guy down after a week.

Being an easy slut gets bitches laid, but never gets them the relationship.

It's actually really easy to lock a man down, yet these chicks egos just won't allow it.

This conservative woman can influence a masculine man in a relationship. Her femininity is a moderating influence on his masculinity, and vice-versa. A "strong independent woman" can only henpeck a weak man, it's a life of unhappiness brought about by their own weaknesses.

[AboveAverageJoe]

(07-09-2016 11:03 AM)rpg Wrote:  

Id imagine she is pretty loose down there and after sticking it in, the guys cant feel a thing..

That's what her asshole is for.