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Divorced Guys Thread
09-07-2016, 10:13 AM
I state that marriage is a terrible deal for men, but a wonderful deal for women. A woman can divorce you for any or no reason, and take all assets while collecting child support.
I would have to say virtually all my bad decisions I have made in my life stem from my poor choices in women.
My first marriage was to the first girl I ever had sex with, in college, as a beanpole 145 pound boy to a short chubby 160 pound girl a year older than me. She got pregnant, I married her, and she went to an all you can eat buffet where she shot above 230 pounds. Possibly a lot more. And <shudder> since I was in my early twenties I was constantly horny, but sex was pretty much limited to once a month and eventually a lot less. We fritted from one relative to another in a total white trash way, somehow made ends meet, and even raised a son who went to college on a full ride engineering scholarship.
We seperated after 7 years, and within about two weeks I found myself with a 7.5. This was before internet dating, so no game at all was required...just show up in your dockers and hush puppies and you're gold (attributed to another RVF forum member).
We got married (I know, I'm an idiot and that is an understatement), and pretty much every cliche about marriage occured, except that she gained not a pound, but of course the sex dried up into nothing despite me doing most of the cooking, laundry, work income, and household chores. Basically it worked like this; if I did a perfect job I got sex at the end of the week. However, something as minor as putting utensils the wrong way in the dishes was enough to nix the sex for the week. Do you know how hard it is to live with a girl with nearly a perfect body denying you sex?
This went on for years, until "we" decided to have a baby. We had sex maybe twice, she got pregnant, and that was nearly the last time we ever had sex (no sex during pregnancy).
Baby came, I did my best for a year raising him, but I wasn't making enough money to satisfy her, so I was evicted from the house, divorced, and paid child support.
So let's see:
--we had fully paid for this house, and fully paid for two cars which is an achievment I am proud of.
--No debt at all, including no student debt.
...yet somehow this left her unhappy.
I estimate my extra costs per month since being thrown out to be an $1600 post-tax. I went from being maybe not affluent but well-off and comfortable to pretty much living a hand to hand existance. I am always worried about money, and always seem to spend slightly more than I make whereas before I was very comfortable. Heck, even as a starving grad student I had more net income than I do now!
My mother had set aside some money for me; my ex-wife, knowing about that, demanded I give her 50K to her in order to have the privilege of seeing my son. That's probably not legal, but after all that I just said fuck it. I gave my four-year old son a kiss, a hug, and I told him to have a great life and to take care of his mother, and walked completely out of their lives. I have not communicated nor seen him in any way for the past three years, and have exchanged maybe six emails with his mother.
It is undoubtly one of the hardest, and nastiest, things I have ever done, but the absolute rage I feel for being taken as a chump overwhelms any sort of moral compass I once had.
Presently I am a dumpy graying 44 year old man with a big ol' potbelly and a double chin. I live with another girlfriend who I recently had a daughter with (I need to get snipped and I know...I'm a complete idiot), and I have a mistress on the side.
I seem to attract a certain type. My 2nd ex-wife had a doctorate and three masters in STEM fields, while my present girlfriend has a doctorate and a master from also a STEM field. My mistress is studying to be a coorporate lawyer. All are the career-driven highly ambitious type.
My mistress is something else. I tell her everything and do not lie about anything; she seems vaguely shocked by what I say and do. She is nineteen years old and is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen with a flawless body. Our love-making always has a strong element of rape to it, and I put my bitterness and rage towards women in it. She sniffles a lot when we have sex because I slap her around and choke her a lot, and complains I only use her for sex. She drives a much better newer car than me, both her parents are still together, and she goes to a university whose tuition is more than what I make in a year. I am unreasonably jealous of that; like an old Chinese saying goes, "everytime one of my friends succeeds a little something in me dies." She is a Donald Trump supporter.
I hate fuck her; she sniffles a lot; she whispers in my ear, "please don't cum in me" because like every horny teenager she isn't on birth control. No girl who wants to have sex with me is ever on birth control, and condoms are so 1990's.
I know this cannot end well. I'm going to be caught, or the mistress will expose herself. My next to last mistress contacted my girlfriend with predicably dire results. Never take a mistress, I say, but only an idiot would depend on one source for sex. Gotta diversify your portfolio, ya know.
Everything is precarious; I'm balancing on a big greasy ball of my own making. If I crash and burn then I don't really care at all, but if I do then I take down a lot of other people along with me which I do care, so I get up every day, go to work, and be a responsible civilized worker because being honorable is what beta providers such as me do. We lead boring lives and spend most of our time doing child-rearing activities. Even getting young girls pregnant is a type of child rearing.