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Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?
#26

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Quote: (12-23-2015 07:54 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Quote: (12-23-2015 11:21 AM)Cruisen_Chubby Wrote:  

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Theoretically, would you rather have your buddy stay over who is a hardcore womanizer-- or a buddy sleep over who is a sex starved beta.

I've also had the types of relationships with a friend's chick that you're talking about, and I actually am a person who befriends women often (without ulterior motives). I've also had those experiences you're talking about where some desperate tool makes it clear he would sell his right nut to get at an off limits women because he has no other options.

And "theoretically" what you're saying makes sense. It sounds solid on paper.

However...in real life it's a lot trickier.

I'm not a sex starved beta. Neither was the guy in the worst case scenario who was mounting his roommate's women when he was out working. Neither were guys in countless other stories you hear about.

So, logic is nice and all, and we all love a good intention...but at the end of the day, it's not the sex starved beta's pecker that finds itself inside your ole lady.

Very true-- it is a case by case basis.
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#27

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

There's a compromise in here somewhere. I think we should stick to the Forbidden City Model. Men are allowed to live in the same historic compound as my wives, but they have to be eunuchs.

This way, we can still welcome men into our residences, but we don't have to worry about a negative outcome.

I'm the King of Beijing!
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#28

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

I just read a quote in "How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big" that has a loose relation to this topic.

"If you believe people use reason for the important decisions in life, you will go through life feeling confused and frustrated that others seem to have bad reasoning skills. The reality is that reason is just one of the drivers of our decisions, and often the smallest one."

In the same token, it can be flawed to count on a man's reasonable mind to stay his natural urges. Or assume that your own rational, loyal mind will always have the power to stay your own.

Men (and women) are fallible and imperfect - even the ones you hold in the highest regard. This doesn't make them demons and shouldn't become a cause for the apathetic approach to life being discussed in another thread right now, but it pays to observe this truth.

This is what societies that limited the intermingling of the sexes understood that our own society has largely forgotten. Perhaps returning to archaic vagina guarding practices isn't the answer, but there's nothing wrong with being aware of the potential in the human interactions around you.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
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#29

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

I don't know. I don't like guests for more than 3 nights anyway. I think if I were in those shoes I would put a cutoff like, "you can stay X nights then you need to go on to the next part of your plan."
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#30

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Isn't there a saying that no good deed goes unpunished? I guess the question is the crime worth the punishment? I think this goes for women as well (friends, relatives etc). My family has taken in different women who have sowed (sown) discord in our house.

David took his men with him and went out and killed two hundred Philistines and brought back their foreskins. They counted out the full number to the king so that David might become the king's son-in-law. Then Saul gave him his daughter Michal in marriage. 1 Samuel 18:27
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#31

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

I crashed at a friend's place last week. His girl was smoking hot. Had to get out of there fast.
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#32

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Never trust a woman. If women couldnt be trusted 50 years ago with all the accountabilities in place, they surely cant be trusted now. Assume she will jump on a warm hard dick when you arent there. She will shamelessly blame you for the accidental pregnancy and then make you believe it is yours.
They only exception I would make is if she is so fucking ugly even King Kong wouldn't touch it. Attractive women want forbidden fruit as much as any man does especially if they can get away with it. Women have no loyalty. They just want your shit.
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#33

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Does anyone think it's funny we are posting a question like this in a forum designed to help aid us in fucking more women?
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#34

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

I generally wouldn't smash a buddy's lizard in such situations. I do believe in bros before hos and I've had a few situations where I had to GOAT my way out of certain advances. I am not sure how I would react if I saw my lizard getting piped down by a friend but I don't handcuff any enough to get that emotional about them.

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#35

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Quote: (12-24-2015 04:00 PM)Dino Wrote:  

Does anyone think it's funny we are posting a question like this in a forum designed to help aid us in fucking more women?

Some guys do some really stupid moves. I know a guy whose wife was fucking his dad while he was at work! It didnt blow the hell up until his mom caught her hubby and daughter in law banging.
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#36

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Quote: (12-24-2015 04:00 PM)Dino Wrote:  

Does anyone think it's funny we are posting a question like this in a forum designed to help aid us in fucking more women?

Whether it was the purpose when it was originally designed or not, this forum has long since grown to a point where it now, by design and by natural evolution, is a lot more than just a place to learn how to fuck women. Most of us are not one-trick ponies here and this is an insightful conversation relevant to things we discuss here on many different levels in my (biased) opinion.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
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#37

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Birds of feather flock together.

For your friend to fuck your girl in your place, he needs to be very shady dude plus your girl has to be a whore.
How can you make two wrong decisions when you are not one of them?
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#38

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

My Grandfather told me this story a while back that cracked me up. It would have happened at least 50 years ago.

My Grandfather's mate had a farm in a peaceful valley, where he lived with his wife and teenage daughters. Somehow or other, his family had arranged for a distant relative who had just been released from jail to go and stay with him, trading farm labour for board and keep until he found his feet.

This fellow had a long history of being in and out of trouble, much of which was to do with other peoples wives.

Grandad went fishing one day with his mate a few months later and asked how things were going with the new boarder.

"Terrible" his mate replied. "He's fucking the wife, he's fucking the kids, I'm thinking I might have to start getting around with a billy lid* tied to me arse 'cos I'm worried if I bend over he'll be up me too!"

*Small pressed tin lid for cooking vessel, similar to saucepan lid.

Quote: (01-19-2016 11:26 PM)ordinaryleastsquared Wrote:  
I stand by my analysis.
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#39

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Quote: (12-24-2015 11:02 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Quote: (12-24-2015 04:00 PM)Dino Wrote:  

Does anyone think it's funny we are posting a question like this in a forum designed to help aid us in fucking more women?

Whether it was the purpose when it was originally designed or not, this forum has long since grown to a point where it now, by design and by natural evolution, is a lot more than just a place to learn how to fuck women. Most of us are not one-trick ponies here and this is an insightful conversation relevant to things we discuss here on many different levels in my (biased) opinion.

Then why entertain such a dumb question? I seem to remember a huge amount of type wasted on buying women appetizers.
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#40

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

No guy who manages his way into the skirts of the lady of the next one who offers him shelter, shall it be a friend, acquaintance or an unknown, can never be
an alpha, he is shady at best... no matter the circumstances or the hipothetic advances of the woman.
I find this discussion here shameless, and feel that it does not belong to this forum.
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#41

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

excellent answers. I can't add much more than providing a biblical and personal context.

Biblically, we are all imperfect and no one is capable of consistently resisting temptation. Especially so if that temptation is easily accessible on a daily basis. If you have opposite sex, long term guests, in your house its always good to keep in mind that we are fallible creatures by nature...again, there is an awesome security company in my town that has the following motto. "In God we trust, all others we monitor"

Personally, I had a number of long term male guests stay at my house when I was married the first time. I had a spare bedroom, enjoyed the rent and transient logging workers always are in need of a place to stay. I never had any serious problems but it definitely caused relationship problems. My wife started to get into finding faults in me based on how guests would treat their girlfriends.

Also, remember that video and older forum discussion of "Can women and men be friends" and the amount of girls that answered no? Extend that to a long term male guest in your house. If the chick doesn't like the guy, she will be annoyed with his presence and pester you to get him to leave. If she is accepting of his presence, or enjoys his company...think about what that also means.

Example: One of the dudes that stayed at my house later ended up banging my ex wife shortly after we divorced. He was of course her favorite short term tenant that we had. The rest were usually mild to severe annoyances to her. (PS don't worry about me. I cheated on her ALOT while we were married)

Why do the heathen rage and the people imagine a vain thing? Psalm 2:1 KJV
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#42

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

My grandmother once told me of an Old Zulu Proverb.

Translated:
Two bulls can never occupy one kraal. (enclosure, bull-pen)

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
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#43

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Quote: (12-26-2015 09:50 AM)Rocha Wrote:  

No guy who manages his way into the skirts of the lady of the next one who offers him shelter, shall it be a friend, acquaintance or an unknown, can never be
an alpha, he is shady at best... no matter the circumstances or the hipothetic advances of the woman.
I find this discussion here shameless, and feel that it does not belong to this forum.

Oh give me a break. No one has advocated that behavior here or even brought it up as an option.

The point was a completely honest acknowledgement that the temptation was there even in cases where it by all standards shouldn't have been...and then leveraging that insight for consideration of how a man should manage his own home.

If admitting you've had to swallow down an urge to slam another guy's broad, something I'm sure every hot blooded male has experienced at times, is so taboo to you that it shouldn't even be mentioned in passing to make a point, I'm sure glad you're not the one who decides what does and doesn't belong on the forum. I find it shameless you can't have an honest discussion about normal human urges without your sphincter tightening.

Also, just for the record....

While I agree with your general stance, tying the word "alpha" to a specific moral code is a blatant misuse of the word. It is a nerdy term to use to begin with, but I'd be willing to bet there are many men on this planet whose principles would downright disgust you or I (many incarcerated men being a good example) who are still inarguably "alpha." You may loathe them, but your emotions don't change what they are.

If you insist on using that PUA-speak, I don't see how you can maintain any loyalty to the actual concept while insisting it only be used to describe men with a particular set of ethics. So you'll have to find another word if you want to continue with your shaming tactics.

Thankfully, I think we can both agree there's a lot more to life than being "alpha" at all costs. Again, no one is recommending sneaky, slimey behavior here, so your moral posturing is a little out of place.

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
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#44

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Quote: (12-26-2015 08:53 AM)Dino Wrote:  

Quote: (12-24-2015 11:02 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Quote: (12-24-2015 04:00 PM)Dino Wrote:  

Does anyone think it's funny we are posting a question like this in a forum designed to help aid us in fucking more women?

Whether it was the purpose when it was originally designed or not, this forum has long since grown to a point where it now, by design and by natural evolution, is a lot more than just a place to learn how to fuck women. Most of us are not one-trick ponies here and this is an insightful conversation relevant to things we discuss here on many different levels in my (biased) opinion.

Then why entertain such a dumb question? I seem to remember a huge amount of type wasted on buying women appetizers.

Not really sure what you're getting on about and your reply to my reply didn't even really make much sense, but in any case, surely you've got better things to do than come post in a thread if you think the original question was "dumb" to begin with, don't you?

Beyond All Seas

"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe.
To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes
frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself." - Kipling
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#45

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Generally - I think it's a bad move.

You're playing with fire and the best way not to get burned is to no play with it in the first place. A short stay of three or fewer days? I can deal with that. Longer than that and you can fuggadaboudit.

I like to think my best friend would let me stay over and I him regardless of circumstances. But I'd never want to put myself in a position to be tempted. I nearly lost a best friend over less with a girl.

G
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#46

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Forgetting the imaginary barriers of marriage, I think it would be a bad idea to leave your girl with another man when it can be avoided, I remember watching a film where a man questioned his friend when he left him with his wife, encouraging him not to be put into that situation out of respect, I think that is how it should be.
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#47

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Does the pope shit in the woods?
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#48

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Short answer - yes, it is an extremely bad idea. The situation is ripe for something to "just happen."

The Muslims got that one right, anyway - such a situation would never happen on their watch.

Related example: Years back while still in the military, I was a guest of an Army pal and his wife at their house for a few months while at an Army school. I needed a place to stay, and they needed the extra rent. She was a hot 24 year old Latina and frankly, the perfect wife. He was a slightly older white guy, active duty military.

Gradually, over the course of weeks I saw how he treated her and what she put up with from him regularly. I did my best to stay out of the house as much as possible except to sleep, both to preserve my friendship and to give them some space. Oh yeah, and to stop thinking about banging his hot wife. A couple of months later she'd gotten a job out of town, part time. Also, I suspected something was going on outside the marriage but could not prove anything. Other people in our social circle told my friend something was not right, something was going down, he was going to lose his wife, etc. but he blew it all off. I didn't say shit - not my business. When the Army school was all done, I left the area. The funny thing is even though absolutely zero went on between her and me and my friend not once accused me of anything, he turned out to be kind of a jerk anyway and we didn't really keep in touch.

I heard a couple of more months later that they got divorced, she kept up her new job and dated a bit but in the end became a full on lesbian. Apparently, she "discovered" she was gay after hanging out with lezzers. So yeah, he basically ruined a perfectly good woman who was already an amazing wife and could have been an equally amazing mother.

....and yeah, I could have banged that (before she got fat, which she did eventually) without changing any of the long term results. Ok, maybe that wasn't the best example, but the point is don't do it. It's still not a great idea.
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#49

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

Quote: (12-26-2015 12:14 PM)Beyond Borders Wrote:  

Quote: (12-26-2015 09:50 AM)Rocha Wrote:  

No guy who manages his way into the skirts of the lady of the next one who offers him shelter, shall it be a friend, acquaintance or an unknown, can never be
an alpha, he is shady at best... no matter the circumstances or the hipothetic advances of the woman.
I find this discussion here shameless, and feel that it does not belong to this forum.

Oh give me a break. No one has advocated that behavior here or even brought it up as an option.

The point was a completely honest acknowledgement that the temptation was there even in cases where it by all standards shouldn't have been...and then leveraging that insight for consideration of how a man should manage his own home.

If admitting you've had to swallow down an urge to slam another guy's broad, something I'm sure every hot blooded male has experienced at times, is so taboo to you that it shouldn't even be mentioned in passing to make a point, I'm sure glad you're not the one who decides what does and doesn't belong on the forum. I find it shameless you can't have an honest discussion about normal human urges without your sphincter tightening.

Also, just for the record....

While I agree with your general stance, tying the word "alpha" to a specific moral code is a blatant misuse of the word. It is a nerdy term to use to begin with, but I'd be willing to bet there are many men on this planet whose principles would downright disgust you or I (many incarcerated men being a good example) who are still inarguably "alpha." You may loathe them, but your emotions don't change what they are.

If you insist on using that PUA-speak, I don't see how you can maintain any loyalty to the actual concept while insisting it only be used to describe men with a particular set of ethics. So you'll have to find another word if you want to continue with your shaming tactics.

Thankfully, I think we can both agree there's a lot more to life than being "alpha" at all costs. Again, no one is recommending sneaky, slimey behavior here, so your moral posturing is a little out of place.

I got your point and the honesty in it. But this discussion could only lead to an end, and that would be a "no thrust no one", while this is true in the majority of the circumstances, some bonds should be built with thrust, more so with a close friend or a wife. My previous post could have been better articulated, my position was more on the negativity of the discussion rather than the "urge to slam down another guys broad". I have very few taboos if any.
So no shaming tactics or moral posturing on my side, to each mind his own toughts and conscience, tough my toughts on the topic is that as humans we have to fight many urges, to kill, to steal, to lie, to bang the next guy wife, but the ability to fight these urges trough moral judgement and decision or by trial and error, is what differentiates us from other species. Offering another guy shelter is a noble act, and should be rewarded with loyalty, not punished with treachery and lust. While no one is advocating this behaviour here, and thinking about it is not the same as doing it. Hipothetical random toughts inside a mans mind is not enough for me to keep from sheltering a friend in need.

For the record also, my use of the "alpha" term, came in reaction to your "but at the end of the day, it's not the sex starved beta's pecker that finds itself inside your ole lady." My conception of an alpha male can be wrong, but I relate it more with a man with options, rather than a predatory behaviour of laying the wife of a guy who gave him shelter.
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#50

Is it a Bad Move for a Married Man to Allow Another Man to Stay in His Home?

I think this is one of those dark aspects universal throughout human history that nobody wants to admit. I remember reading about a woman in Puritan New England who was accused of adultery after her husband died of mysterious circumstances and she shortly after married her live-in guest.

A common, yet rarely acknowledged storyline throughout the ages is the story of two lovers who are conveniently able to shack up after their husband/friend dies. The storyline almost always portrays the husband in some way deficient or abusive in order to portray the lovers as innocent protagonists. I think this was touched on in the movie Captain Horatio Hornblower towards the end.

Now I look at cases where husbands die under unusual and convenient conditions with great suspicion. Think, the recent death of Sheryl Sandberg's husband while vacationing in Mexico.
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