[HankMoody]

[This is in the game forum is because cooking will get you laid. Cooking builds comfort, it generates attraction, saves you money on dates, and gets girls into your place. Oh, and it keeps you healthy and buff.]

I saw an article last week on ROK about the benefits of cooking. I don't think anyone disagrees with that. But how does someone become a decent chef without taking all kinds of stupid classes, reading cookbooks, buying all kinds of crazy equipment, etc.?

In years past, I had no idea how to cook. I'd get a cookbook, wouldn't have like 90% of the ingredients, and everything I tried to make just came as a hot ball of mixed stuff anyway. Then I'd just say "screw it", this is too complicated, and get something from the store. The most I could do at home was scrambled eggs or a steak on the Foreman grill. Learning to cook seemed like too big an investment, and too big a challenge to waste time with. Plus, I go out all the time, I'm single, and everything I buy would just go bad in my fridge. Cooking seemed like something people with families do, or people go to culinary school for.

That all changed a few years ago when I actually took the time to learn how to cook....

Before we begin, here are some realities:

- Cooking is not hard. Anyone can do it.
- Cooking is not feminine. It's science. It's self reliance.
- I cook for myself, but sometimes I make enough for two. Never to "impress" women. Women have said on many occasions that they find watching me work in the kitchen is sexy.
- You do not need a bunch of exotic ingredients on hand all the time. The best meals you make will often have like 4 ingredients, simply cooked at the appropriate temperature. When in doubt, omit.
- You do not need a bunch of equipment other than some cast iron cookware and a knife. Total investment is like $200 at the most.
- You do not need to know how to cook a bunch of random fancy crazy dishes. (I have no idea how to bake a cake, because I don't eat cake, and I have no reason to make one).
- Becoming a good cook is not a big time investment. Total time to go from a total n00b in the kitchen to "damn that was tasty!" is like two months.

All a playboy really needs to do is know how to turn meats and veggies into meals that taste good and look cool.

Step 1: Read this book - The 4 Hour Chef by Tim Ferriss.

http://www.amazon.com/The-4-Hour-Chef-Le...0547884591

I'm not a Tim Ferriss junkie or anything. 4 Hour Workweek was fun but not applicable to my profession. 4 Hour Body was interesting, but overlooks the actual commitment required to be in shape (there is no such thing as a 4 hour body).

However, 4 Hour Chef is the most practical guide on cooking I've ever read. It's not a cookbook with recipes (though it has some in there), it's a "greatest hits of stuff you can do to cook well with a minimal investment."

It's perfect for bachelors, and all the recipes in there are low carb. This is a book that changed my life.

If you read the book and do all the meals, you'll be a pretty damn fine cook within a month or two. I give this book out to all my playboy friends.

Read it. Do the meals. Post them on social media. Get bangs.

Step 2: The stuff you will need.

My equipment -

- Stove (electric is easier than gas)
- Cast iron skillet and dutch oven (can be bought from Cabelas.com for $40 - get one that doubles as a skillet and dutch oven to save space and money. You can also use a non-stick skillet, but I prefer cast iron).
- Pot with a steamer (not entirely necessary, but fun)
- A good knife (Wusthof 4183-7 Wusthof Classic 7-Inch Santoku Knife)
- Cheapo cutting boards from Ikea (I have a red one for meat, and a green one for veggies).
- Rags

Step 3: Stuff I keep on hand that keeps, and go through regularly

- Tamari sauce (this is gluten free soy sauce)
- Limes (for cooking and boozing)
- Mustard (Sir Kensington)
- White wine or sherry vinegar
- Onions
- Rooster sauce
- Butter (Kerrygold or Finlandia - do not use shit butter)
- Lard (MUST be organic, if you don't have access to organic lard, avoid. The stuff in supermarkets tastes like chemicals. The real stuff makes everything delicious).
- Ginger
- Coconut oil (Ferriss suggests using grape seed oil for cooking. DO NOT USE GRAPE SEED OIL. It tastes like shit, even though it has a good smoke point. Lard, butter, and extra virgin coconut oil are way better and make everything taste good).
- Olive oil (not for cooking. For salads only. Use good stuff, not cheap stuff).
- Chicken breasts
- Steak, ground beef
- Stock (use chicken stock for chicken dishes, beef stock for beef dishes.)
- Eggs (eggs are healthy, delicious, and extremely versatile)
- Veggies (since it's fall, I do a lot of hearty soups - beets, carrots, leeks, mushrooms, peppers, etc). Just don't go nuts here because if you're a bachelor all this stuff goes bad.
- Fish sauce (smells awful, tastes delicious)
- Avocado and/or guacamole
- Garlic (I get the stuff that's already diced up, and then bottled in water. Garlic keeps for a long time).

Step 4: Basic spices to keep on hand

- Black pepper from a grinder
- Sea salt from a grinder (salt is good for you, don't believe the bullshit. And it makes stuff taste good).
- Cayenne pepper
- Chili pepper
- Garlic pepper (if you don't have real garlic)
- Taragon (only tastes good on eggs)
- Thyme
- Rosemary
- Montreal steak seasoning (makes all meat products taste good)
- Curry (if you like curry)
- Freeze dried chives
- Paprika (Hungarian food, holla)

Step 5: Basic principles

- Chili + lime always taste good. For Mexican stuff. (for example, throw ground beef in the oven, season it with chili and lime, and then wrap it in lettuce. Hot sauce and guacamole. Bam, low carb Mexican.)
- Garlic + butter + vinegar always tastes good. For French stuff.
- Tamari + oil + ginger always tastes good. For Asian stuff.
- Meat + cinnamon (i.e. cinnamon bacon) always tastes good
- Paprika + meat + tomatoes + onion = gulash
- Thyme tastes good on red meat
- Mustard makes an excellent dip for anything, particularly stuff cooked in garlic and butter
- When in doubt, bake it at 350. Chicken, bacon, etc.
- Braising, meaning cooking at a low temperature in liquid, is foolproof. You can buy really cheap cuts of meat, cook them in a slow cooker while you're at work, and come home to deliciousness. Throw in some veggies for a soup.
- Grilling vegetables (meaning in your skillet or non-stick pan) in lard, garlic and butter makes them taste good.
- When cooking thick steaks, sear them on the outside for a minute and then bake them at a low temperature (225). You'll have a little bit of crunch, but it will be nice and red in the middle.
- Eggs are awesome. The problem is most people (a) don't bring them to room temperature before cooking; and (b) cook them on too high a heat. Run your eggs under warm water before throwing them in a pan, and then cook them on a low heat.
- For bangs, keep the lights low, and red wine flowing. Play some music. Enjoy yourself and make conversation.

Step 6: Protips for Max Bangs

- I drink a lot of wine, so boxed wine is my go to. If you have a lady over, put cheap wine in a decanter and she'll think it's expensive stuff. Boxed wine actually tastes really good, and even better when decanted.
- Presentation is key. Putting a few pieces of arugula on top of something makes it look fancy. Stacking stuff makes it look fancy.
- Get square plates. They look cooler. Also get a few tiny round bowls for dipping sauces. This tremendously ups the presentation.
- If you make Asian food, have some good chopsticks on hand. It's like $5 for the good ones. (Asians do exceptional food presentation generally).
- Salad in a big bowl prior to the main dish makes it like you're in a restaurant. Salad is just arugula, light olive oil, light white wine vinegar, cherry tomatoes, and avocado if you're feeling fancy. Maybe some pepper on top.

If you guys like this post, I'll do a few recipes, with pictures. But I feel kind of gay exchanging recipes on the RVF.

[Geomann180]

(11-19-2015 01:23 PM)HankMoody Wrote:  

If you guys like this post, I'll do a few recipes, with pictures. But I feel kind of gay exchanging recipes on the RVF.

Damn the torpedoes! Full speed ahead, brother.

G

[MrRoundtree]

Few tips..learn recipees that require wine to prepare the sauce or cook..it really adds flavour and you can drink the thing after with your lady...in Europe cooking with wine is very popular and I'm using a french cookbook that have ragional dishes so they actually pair the wine with the meal, which is also used for cooking..use slecific wine from the region (for exemple a tartiflette is cooked and paired with Savoy white wine)

[Thaitanium]

Im curious for the recipes, go ahead with it.

[bootyhuntah]

Great thread idea. I think it's important for every player to have a couple go-to recipes nailed down at a moment's notice. For me, it is homemade pizza and a simple pasta like a pesto or carbonara. And wine works wonders. I can't agree on the boxed wine comment but you can still get a super cheap bottle of wine - like a Chilean pinot noir (Cono Sur is a decent brand) for under $10. I will share a one simple recipe for those interested:

Homemade pizza

Solid but make the dough about 6 or more hours in advance if possible.

Dough:

1kg (2.2 lbs) of all-purpose or bread flour (if available)
650-700ml soda water
1 tbsp sea salt (I prefer fine, mixes easier)
1 package of instant quick-rising yeast
1-2 tbsp extra virgin olive oil (for preventing a crust to form on dough as it rises)

Mix about half a cup of flour to half a cup of warmed soda water and add the yeast to a small bowl. Mix with a fork to let the yeast do it's magic. Wait about 30 mins until the mixture starts bubbling all over then add it to remainder of salt, flour, soda water mixture. Mix that shit up in a bread maker on "mix and rise" setting if you have one or even do it by hand in a large bowl til it is all incorporated in a homogeneous ball. I like sifting the flour first as it reduces clumping.

Once it all comes together and the mixture is sticky and still rather moist, rub the ball with olive oil on all sides, plop it in a big bowl knowing that it will expand likely by 3-4X, then cover with a dish towel and put in a warm place. If you have a bread maker, you can leave it in there as most have a dough-rise setting which warms it up to get the yeast happy and allow the dough to rise. Let rise for a few hours until it triples or so in size.

Sauce:

I like simply blanching some fresh and ripe tomatoes (preferably from your garden), skinning them, as per this method.

Mash them up with a potato masher or simply a fork in a sauce pan, add a dash of good extra virgin olive oil, pinch of sea salt for flavor, and nothing else. Simple is better for the tomato sauce. I like a chunky sauce, so if there are chunks, that's usually good by me. Cook on medium-medium low to 15-20 minutes until it thickens up nicely and most of the water has evaporated then kill the heat and let it rest. I personally like leaving the seeds in my tomatoes but not everyone does - you can also remove the seeds but that takes considerably more work. Sometimes honey or something to sweeten it up in the event the tomatoes aren't very ripe.

An alternative to the above is substituting crushed canned tomatoes.

Toppings:

Endless possibilities. Simply pick up a bag of something like shredded Sargento mozzerella (they also have a good mixed cheese blends for pizza), fresh basil leaves (although I usually add these during the last minute of cooking so not to scorch), pre-wilted spinach in a sauce pan, fresh thinly sliced garlic, etc.

Method:

Make sure you have an oven with a broiler (I prefer electric ovens for this purpose). Also, use a cast iron pizza pan if you have one. If not, you can use the back of a cast iron pan. Pre-heat your pizza pan under the broiler (using the hottest setting) for about 15-20 minutes sitting on the top rack until it is scorching hot. Leave it in the oven until your pizza forming (next step) is complete.

Once the dough has risen and ready to go, flour a large counter if you have one. Give the risen dough a quick knead, adding flour as necessary such that the dough is workable and not sticking to everything. Then slice off a nice hand-sized chunk with a sharp knife.

Form the kneaded dough into a symmetric circular shape (or to fit your cooking pan) on a wooden pizza peel if you have one, but a well-floured wooden cutting board also works nicely. Use your hands or even a rolling pin if necessary to shape it and fit whatever pan you will be using that is currently pre-heating. You can leave a thicker crust around the edge if you like or do it Roman style and keep the pizzas thin and uniform thickness.

Note - It is important that the bottom of the dough is well-floured in order to make sure it doesn't stick to the surface of your pizza peel or cutting board, because you will need to quickly slide it off onto the hot cooking surface in the near future. I like to give the pizza peel a quick shake back and forth to ensure the dough isn't sticking as a check.

Once dough is formed and shaped, add your toppings as desired. To keep it simple, I add about one ladle full of tomato sauce to the center of the dough, then spread it around evenly with ladle right up to near the edge of dough. Then add the grated cheese in a uniform layer, sprinkling with your fingers, then anything else like fresh garlic.

Once the pizza is topped, this is when the real fun begins. Go to your oven, and make sure your well-heated pan is sizzling (flick a bit of water on it to test with your fingers - the water should sizzle violently and evaporate immediately) hot under the broiler, preferably with the pan sitting on either the top rack or second to top rack, you will have to experiment with this depending on your oven design. Pull the pan out so it is accessible using a well-insulated oven mitt, then slide your formed pizza directly onto the sizzling hot surface. Pop the pan and pizza into the oven on the highest broil setting (500-550F+), and close the door and watch the pizza closely (may need to turn on oven light).

If your pan is pre-heated properly, the top and bottom should cook at the same rate. Under the broiler, the top of your pizza will be cooking very quickly, possibly forming bubbles in the crust, likely finishing somewhere around the 3 minute mark, while the bottom of your pizza will be cooked at the same time by the residual searing heat stored within your cast iron pan.

One your pizza is all bubbly and there are numerous dark golden brown spots on top, take her out, she is done. You want to check to see that the bottom of the pie is nice and seared, looking for black char spots, which is a good thing to achieving a nice seared crispy crust. You may need to rotate the pizza pan once or twice during cooking to ensure uniform cooking on top.

And there you have it, usually I like to let the pizza rest on a separate cutting board for 2 or three minutes before cutting it with an ultra sharp french chef knife or good pizza wheel if you have one. Buen provecho! Serve with copious red wine and some good jazz music. If you can't get laid with this one, god help you.

Note - it is often fun to show the girl how to form a pizza and let her add her own toppings. It's a good way to get her involved and engaged. Also, always make sure she washes the dishes and is on cleaning duty, because - after all, you cooked goddamnit!

[HankMoody]

Quick introduction - before I learned to cook, my "omelettes" were basically "scrambles". I could never figure out how to make them fold. Do you use milk? Pancake mix? Magic?

No.

French Omelette
Difficulty: Extremely Easy
Perfect for: Morning after the bang
Tools needed: Non-stick pan or cast iron skillet
Ingredients needed: Butter, eggs, tarragon (optional)

Step 1: Put three eggs in a bowl, and run them under warm water. This brings the eggs to room temperature. You do not want to throw cold eggs straight from the fridge into a frying pan.
Step 2: Empty all the water out of the bowl. Break the eggs into the bowl and whip them with a fork. After you've whipped them, whip them some more.
Step 3: Coat a non-stick skillet or cast iron skillet with butter on MEDIUM LOW heat. The problem with eggs is most people over cook them. Don't be a weenie with the butter.
Step 4: Pour the whipped eggs into the pan. It will form into a pancake. Use a spatula to keep the pancake form.
Step 5. Have patience, my brothers. Eventually the pancake thing will come together, and you'll see that you can slide it around. If there are any holes in it, you can patch them up with some of the extra egg left over in the bowl. The key here is patience, and MEDIUM LOW to LOW heat.
Step 6: After about 4 or 5 minutes, it becomes an omelette that you can fold. I never put anything in mine for simplicity. Transfer it from the pan onto your plate. You should be able to fold it over now very easily, like a crepe.
Step 7: Put some tarragon on top. Salt and pepper to taste.

Major key points: Do not throw cold egg into a hot skillet. Always cook eggs on medium low to low temperature. Patience. Simplicity is delicious.

This is an easy meal and it looks impressive.

Bonus points:

Set your over to 350. While it's pre-heating, coat raw bacon with cinnamon on both sides. Put the bacon in the oven before you start to make the omelette. A casserole dish works just fine. While you're cooking the omelette, flip the bacon. When the omelette is done, the bacon should also be ready.

This is like eating bacon with maple syrup, except it doesn't add any carbs, sugar, or calories. Plus it's different and tasty.

[RockHard]

Good thread. That tip on omelettes looks great. I usually put a splash of water in my omelette to make the consistency right but maybe it's just a temperature thing. I'm going to have to try that today.

One thing I like to do is pre cook a bunch of chicken breasts and freeze them. You can buy a big package (5-6 lbs) at Costco of frozen boneless skinless chicken breast. Thaw the whole bag, throw those on the grill for about 8-9 minutes a side, cool them off and freeze them in ziploc bags. When you need quick chicken, thaw one or two out and lightly reheat (or serve up cold on a salad). Low fat, high protein, super convenient. It'll take 20 minutes to cook them plus some waiting time for thawing and cooling.

Also, there was another thread specifically on steak: thread-17690...ight=steak

[HankMoody]

Asian Sauce
Difficulty: Extremely Easy
Perfect for: Dinner at your house
Equipment: Microwave
Ingredients: Oil (organic lard or extra virgin coconut oil), tamari sauce (or soy sauce, if you eat gluten), and ginger. If you want an extra kick, you can add sesame seed oil (I don't like this), chili oil, fish sauce, and/or Sriracha. But the base always tastes good - oil + tamari + ginger. (Olive oil will not work for this).

This shit is delicious. Heat up 1/4 cup of oil in the microwave. Add 1 tablespoon of tamari sauce (this shit is STRONG), and grate some ginger into it. Put in the fridge and let it sit. Done. Add a tablespoon of anything else Asian your heart prefers like sesame oil, chili oil, Sriracha, fish sauce, whatever if you want some kick.

Add this to anything, plus some rooster sauce, to make it taste Asian.

If you've having dinner with a lady, buy some big chicken breasts. Bake them at 350 in the oven, coated in either coconut oil or lard. (keeps them moist). They'll be ready in about 20 minutes. Once they're fully cooked, cut the breast into about five pieces and drizzle the Asian sauce over them. Then garnish with cut chives (or freeze dried chives). If you want to be a baller, get some bok choi and steam it.

Asian night at your house.

For bachelor use... what I do is on Sunday is I make ground beef and shredded chicken. (to shred chicken - bake it at 350, and when it's mostly done, pull it apart using two forks). Then I put the chicken in one quart container, and the beef in another quart container. I buy a head of lettuce and then make taco / wraps. I throw the chicken in a one quart container, and the beef in another quart container. Food for the week.

If it's Asian I want, I use Asian sauce. If it's tacos I want, I just add some chili, hot sauce, and lime to the meat.

[Dino]

This thread is full of estrogen but it's making me hungry. Thanks for the tips guys!

[kbell]

What's wrong with putting a cold egg in a frying pan? For scramble it taste fine. Does it change the consistency a lot of omelettes, I never make those.

[HankMoody]

Steak
Equipment: non-stick pan or cast iron skillet (preferably the skillet)
Ingredients: thick steak, butter, lard or coconut oil, thyme (optional), garlic (optional)

Step 0: Get two thick ass steaks and a box of red wine. Put the red wine in the decanter. Thin steaks will not work for this.
Step 1: A few hours before eating the steaks, coat them in salt. This is called "dry brine". It will bring all the juices to the top. You can do this for hours, or even a day.
Step 2: Wash the salt off the steak, and get them as dry as you can with a paper towel. You can even stick them in the freezer (don't freeze them).
Step 3: Put a piece of garlic on a fork and rub them in garlic.
Step 4: Put your skillet on the stove and turn the heat up to max, with butter and oil in the pan. Wait until it sounds like the oil is sizzling. Set your oven to 250 degrees.
Step 5. Throw the steak in the sizzling oil for a minute on each side. It's going to get smokey as hell inside your kitchen. The purpose isn't to cook the steaks, but just to sear the outside and lock in the flavor.
Step 6: Stick the steak in the oven for about 5 minutes. I just transfer the skillet to the oven, because it's hot and will continue to cook it. Flip it over, and let it cook for another 5 minutes. Maybe less, depending on how rare you like steak.

Optional: Creamy horseradish sauce, or just horseradish.

The steak will taste like it was made in a fine steakhouse. Serve with red wine.

[StrikeBack]

I would like to point out that girls these days obviously cannot cook, but also are very easily impressed by basic cooking skills. This includes the "foodies" who pride themselves on their taste for quality dishes. I've been to the venues they rave about, and I've realised that we don't need to be that good to seriously impress them. I learned cooking from my mother who's a chef, and with my basic, not frequently practiced, skill set, I can effortlessly impress girls I've cooked for. Sometimes it's as simple as making a sauce out of whatever is in the house, or a salad.

For the guys learning how to cook, keep that in mind, as it will increase your confidence in cooking skills.

[WestIndianArchie]

Don't let this thread die!

I like to cook for myself, so I experiment.

If a chick is involved
- angel hair pasta
- pesto
- shrimp

Simple and quick, pairs well with wine.

I could break out some curry chicken, fire up the grill for some steak or a jerk chicken - but that's usually after i've been with a chick for a while.

WIA

[1026]

This just gave me a case of the munchies!

[Lothario]

Good Thread, Here is another cooking thread with some great posts. Recommended reading for RVF players.

thread-3598.html

[Caligula]

You have to get this book:



It's a classic. Highly entertaining, though the recipes are a bit dated.

http://www.amazon.com/Playboy-Gourmet-Th...0872233081

[WestIndianArchie]

I've wanted to get this one for a while.