[Diablo]

I mentioned this somewhere in one of the threads that recently my girlfriend broke up with me approx 1 month ago. We'd been dating for like a year and seven months and I had planned to marry this chick as soon as I could get enough money to leave this place and get a bigger place. She used to pressure me on this marriage thing alot and asked me for a ring. She moved into my apartment around December 09'. She looked after me really well and pampered me as if I was a king, so I really loved her. She always had a meal ready before I got home from work, Always had my bath water ready, always cleaned my room, ironed my clothes, provided the sex whenever I needed it etc etc . Basically looking after the place but was a live in girlfriend. She had no job at the time so I was paying for most things she needed.

Anyway a friend of hers moved into my neighborhood and basically my girlfriend and her friend used to just hang out alot at her apartment instead of at my place. I was cool with that because I felt that her friendship with my girlfriend was benign, and her friend always made out to me that she was always on my side in arguments. So I felt as though her friend was more my friend then hers, even though she knew my girlfriend longer. So basically her friend moves in and meet these well off guys that are older and have alot of money. These men are buying my girlfriends friend things like blackberries, jewelry, money etc etc. I must admit at one point I got alittle insecure when her friend and my girl used to hand out with these moneyed guys. I used to get even more worried when her friend asked me if she could take my girlfriend to one of their parties. I flat out declined and told my girlfriend not to go.

So one day I go out to get something from the store. I come back and my girlfriend has packed all her stuff. I mean she has packed all her stuff from her T-shirts, jeans, all the jewelry I bought for her, etc etc

NOTE: For those of you thinking maybe we had an argument the answer is NO. If you think in any way I abused her the answer is NO. I have never in my life time raised my hand at a woman before. The story gets better though.

So I ask her why is she packing

She says she is taking her stuff to her friends place (only 15 mins walk from my place).

I ask why and she says she is leaving me.

So I take a deep breath and ask what I did could have possibly done wrong to cause her to want to leave my apartment. She tells me I did nothing wrong. (I'll bet at this point your as puzzled as I was...But wait it gets better)

She basically tells me she wants a real man that has a bigger car and a big house. (Yes you are reading this right, and no I am not bullshitting).

So I ask her what about all the money I spent on her. She never worked whilst she was with me and I took care of everything for her whenever she needed it. She said it wasn't enough.

At this point I became really worried and couldn't understand why this was happening. So I begged her to stay and I told her that I would fix it. She was having non of it.

She left me and started partying like mad with her friend. I was told by another guy that she is f**king this older, richer guy that lives like 30 mins away. What kills me is that she moved on SO FAST. She left me and 2 weeks later she is fucking someone else. So she is in between the sheets with this other guy whilst I'm here with my heart torn out of my chest. I can't eat, I can't sleep, I can't concentrate. I am a wreak right now.

That is why I hang out on forums like Roosh and others just to keep myself doing something to try and forget.

I need help because its really painful. So much so that I nearly cried. (No bullshit)

What can I do to get over this?

Will I ever meet someone better than her?

[kimleebj]

(06-10-2011 04:51 AM)Diablo Wrote:  

These men are buying my girlfriends friend things like blackberries, jewelry, money etc etc.

the money I spent on ... wasn't enough.

She left me and 2 weeks later she is fucking someone else. I nearly cried.

Go ahead and cry to release your pain. Then realize what happened. Maybe you once had a devoted girlfriend. Somehow she turned into a mercenary, materialistic person. She is not in love with you or the new guy.

Also, she didn't wait 2 weeks to meet another guy. She was fucking him while living with you. She planned to leave you for several weeks at least. She will probably leave the new guy too. Hopefully she will mature and learn to love somebody. Otherwise she risks being old and alone, with a bunch of Blackberries, jewelry, and old boyfriends who think she is a whore.

Don't idealize your relationship - there were longstanding problems. Perhaps she was young and can be forgiven. But something was not right with the relationship.

[Diablo]

(06-10-2011 07:12 AM)kimleebj Wrote:  

(06-10-2011 04:51 AM)Diablo Wrote:  

These men are buying my girlfriends friend things like blackberries, jewelry, money etc etc.

the money I spent on ... wasn't enough.

She left me and 2 weeks later she is fucking someone else. I nearly cried.

Also, she didn't wait 2 weeks to meet another guy. She was fucking him while living with you.

This is exactly what my best friend told me. He told me that she and her friend planned the thing for atleast a month. I became suspicious when she used to lock her iphone with a code so in case I needed to use the phone I wouldn't see anything. I'd have to ask her to borrow her phone. But we are totally not like this before. We were open about everything.

[Caligula]

I've gone through something similar and know how fucked up it can feel.

How do you get over it? Go out and meet new girls. In the beginning it may be painful and you'll find yourself thinking about this girl. But I guarantee that once you have other girls to occupy your nights you'll think about her less and less. This will take some time, but you'll get over it and the more time you spend on meeting new girls, the faster you're likely to get over it.

When you get more attuned to how women think you'll realise that these things never come out of the blue. There are always warning signs. She didn't just decide from one day to another. It was probably a long time coming. I don't know enough about your situation to say what the signs may have been, but they would have been there if you'd known what to look for.

Also don't think all girls will pull this shit, but focus on learning to spot the ones that will and don't invest in them in the same way that you would in a quality girl. Easier said that done, but it's possible.

[BusanCanuck]

Look man, all I can say right now, is that everything in life is temporary, including life itself. Maybe there is some type of afterlife, but I wouldn't count on it.

If your relationship did make it until marriage, there would still be a 70% chance that it would end in divorce.

Now the reason why her passion left probably had to do with you becoming complacent and too comfortable... too predictable... to boring. Forget about getting her back. That won't happen.

I assume, based on where you're coming from, that you're pretty young. The best revenge is success, so what you do with this situation, is that you use it as motivation for your success. Now, I could type out a formula for you to follow with my limited and currently buzzed writing skills, but I'll point you to someone better instead.

First, while you're sitting at home stewing over this, read the archives of both Roissy and Roosh's blogs. Those are two men who know the game forward and back, from every angle. Start with Roissy for the basics, right from his first post back in 2007. At the same time, go out with your buddies and approach, approach, approach. Once you get a handle on what Roissy and Roosh are saying, it's time to advance your game even further.

Read The G Manifesto.

You need to put in work for this, just like at the gym. Matter of fact, hit the weights hard too. after a year or so, you run into your ex, that girl will be wondering why the fuck she left you in the first place.

[Diablo]

@BusanCanuck, yeah I am 26yrs. But man I never saw it coming. If I was asked if she would ever leave me I would have flat out said "NO". I should have known something was up. I just couldn't see it.

[BusanCanuck]

I've got a story to tell, but I have to leave soon, plus I'm a little too buzzed. I'll have to tell it to you later.

Basically, this might hurt right now, but time heals all wounds. How much time that takes depends on what action you take in the coming weeks. As soon as I can I'll come back to this thread and tell you my tale, and my take. In the meantime, you couldn't ask for better help than the people who frequent Roosh's forum.

Take care, and keep your head up.

[Diablo]

@BusanCanuck - Thanks man!

For those you just joining I forgot to add abit to the story. The day she packed her stuff she took out like 80% of her stuff and she said she'd be back for the rest. Well I got her this laptop and I allowed her borrow my speakers. I also let her my iphone and sony ericsson until she could buy her own. Could you believe this chick took the phone and the speakers I lent her. When I asked to have them returned, she told me flat out to that I shouldn't have even asked for them back, since men are buying big cars and houses for women these days....WTF

[amistod]

Diablo, I know it doesn't sound like this right now.. but you are so lucky you didn't get married. It sounds like a typical situation I see with girls that age in my area. They are unhappy with themselves and think that if they get the next new material thing that they will finally be satisfied. True happiness comes from within, and they will have to learn this the hard way.

For my exwife, it was living with me > engagement > marriage > dog > kid

I stopped it before the kid

[kimleebj]

(06-10-2011 08:19 AM)Diablo Wrote:  

she told me flat out to that I shouldn't have even asked for them back, since men are buying big cars and houses for women these days.

I want to say she is a whore, meaning no disrespect to you or to legitimate sex workers. Your ex-girlfriend literally expects men to buy her affection. You are truly lucky to be rid of this useless, unemployed, self-entitled woman. The only cost was a phone and cheap speakers - truly a bargain.

I suspect she will convince herself that you were cheap and mean to avoid the otherwise inescapable conclusion that she was opportunistic and selfish. But really you are both young and it wasn't working out for her. Maybe she wants a more dynamic career guy instead of a sensitive devoted guy right now. Maybe she isn't ready to settle down. Ideally she would have just told you she wanted more out of life. But she needs to convince herself that she is in the right, and that you "owe" her a phone, speakers, car, and a house. She is just being a bit petty.

Her bad behavior is understandable in a stressful situation. She made it really convenient for you; a new girl can move in tomorrow. In contrast, her whole life has turned upside down. So be big about it and move on. Tell her you understand it must be difficult for her, and wish her well. Then date around and find someone who is more mature and communicative.

[Ajiaco]

Look on the bright side, you dodged a bullet!

Imagine if you had married this girl, and then all this nonsense happened. Imagine if you'd had a kid together!

Number one, like it was said above, do something to stay fit. Swim, the gym, weights, whatever. Exercise regularly. Throw youself into a hobby, while you're at it. Reconnect with the boys, go out and get hammered once in a while with good company. If you´re up to it, talk to girls, but don't rush that, you don't want to get into one of those situations where you are telling some new girl about the old girl. Give that some time. Whatever you do, don't have sex just to have it, keep your standards high.

Keep yourself busy is the key. Don't let yourself mope around the house. It's summer, get out there and take advantage. It could have been worse.

[RobbieRobNJ]

WoW ! I can tell you one thing that might comfort you a little " She is nothing more than piece of ass to that rich guy. When he gets tired ( and he will because you can show me any woman and I can show you a guy tired of fucking her ) of her he will kick her to the curb and she will probably come running back . This is where you will have several choices like to take her back or fuck her a few times or just say fuck off .
Do yourself a favor tell her to fuck off she showed her true colors it can't and never will be the same again . Good luck finding another girl and her treat her just as good as the last .

[Diablo]

Thanks alot for all the support my fellow Roosh Forum brothers.

I strangely I feel alot better typing that post and getting responses. it feels like you guys are sharing the pain with me. Weird huh?

[Samseau]

Quote:

Also don't think all girls will pull this shit, but focus on learning to spot the ones that will and don't invest in them in the same way that you would in a quality girl. Easier said that done, but it's possible.

I'm pretty sure all women, deep down inside, are exactly like Diablo's girlfriend. Take the red pill, enjoy reality. All women would do what Diablo's girl did if given the chance. There is no such thing a "loyal" woman.

[Lumiere]

(06-10-2011 12:25 PM)Diablo Wrote:  

it feels like you guys are sharing the pain with me. Weird huh?

Well I can't pretend I am sharing your pain as these kind of stories are some of the reasons that I don't do conventional relationships.

However, read this page and, espcially the comments at the bottom of the page (the initial article if kind of stupid. especially the authors comment that women have 'no recourse')

http://divorcesupport.about.com/b/2009/0...ge-2-0.htm

When you have finished reading you will realise what ALMOST happened to you had her pressurising into marriage actually worked.

The only thing you are going to feel like doing after reading this is popping open a bottle of Jack Daniels to celebrate your good fortune.

[OGNorCal707]

Alright, I need to read through everyone's responses, but dude, I will say I feel your pain 110%, I just recently broke up with a girl that I would describe as heartless, soul-less, deceptive, manipulative, pathologically lying, narcisistic, evil bitch. If you have the time, you should read through the story of my experience here, (it will be very therapuetic for you): http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-4403.html

As much as it sucks to get dumped and possibly cheated on for no rhyme or reason, especially while you were being a "good boyfriend", it could have been much worse. Through a lot of hard times, therapy, thinking, deep introspection, I've come to realize how fucked up my ex-girlfriend was and how fucked up our relationship was.

Straight up, she most likely actively cheated on me the entire time I was dating here, all the while, lying and manipulating, telling me how much she loved me, more than anyone else in the world, and she wanted to marry me, etc. I opened up to her and told her everything, I was truthful and honest, and she just saw that as a vunerability that she could play on and manipulate. She was an absolute pathological liar and totally lied about everything. All the while I was being a "perfect boyfriend", supportive, caring, loving, giving, honest, faithful, etc.

Not only did she lie to me, manipulate me, she used me too, I paid for everything, and always took her out to the nicest restaurants, took her to concerts, paid for nice hotel rooms, top notch liquor.

I got gential herpes that I am not almost 100% certain I got from her, ofcourse she will deny it to the day she dies, but not only did she give me herpes, she effectively made me believe that I had gotten it from someone else and was giving to her. Most likely she knew she had it before we dated and just never told me about it, because she's a fucked up person who doesn't give a fuck about anyone but herself.

The relationship ended, one night when she was beligerently drunk out of her mind, we got into an argument, I didn't lay a finger on her in a violent way. She got so upset by the harsh things I was saying to her (all true), that I believe she had a psychotic break from reality, and as away to lash out at me called 911, and was threatening to smash her head against the wall to make it look like I had attacked her. The police showed up, took my words totally out of context, basically believed her story that I had "assaulted" her, and I was arrested for assault.

My bail was $2,500, I spent $2,000 on a lawyer, and have about another $1,000 worth of fines, have 3 years probation, and have to do a mandatory 52 week domestic violence course for abusive men, that will cost me about another $500, (I am in no way violent towards women, never have been, never will be).

Now I made about a thousand mistakes like not breaking up with her, I had thought about it and tried on a few occasions. Not to mention making a statement to the police, admitting that I had grabbed her by the collar of her robe and shaken her (in a non-violent way), when she was belligerently drunk and going into a psychotic rage.

Anways, I hijacked your thread with my sob story, but the point is, your situation could have been about 100 times worse. At least you didn't get arrest, lose thousands of dollars, get a serious STD, etc. I so feel your pain, I am trying to get over my shit, it's just so heavy, and it's hard to escape thinking about it, esp. since I live in a small town and see her around, and now have 52 weeks of domestic violence classes to sit through thinking about how bad she fucked me over. I swear that girl fucking haunts me, she's a fucking evil person, a straight up vampire.

So seek therapy for a month or two, and you'll be over it in no time. Just remember, like everyone else has said, your ex-girlfriend is a stupid, materialistic, bitch, and one day she will be sad and lonely, when she's used up and old, and has no other value to give, other than sex and her looks.

[joey]

Lifes to short you gotta just get on with it have u seen that movie with tom hanks when he gets ship wrecked? " ive gotta keep breathing cause tommorow the tide may come in and who knows what it wil bring?
just pray to G-D

[Diablo]

@OGNorCal707 This is f**ked up story man...some women are evil...

[kimleebj]

(06-10-2011 02:03 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

I spent $2,000 on a lawyer, and have about another $1,000 worth of fines, have 3 years probation, and have to do a mandatory 52 week domestic violence course

Dude, maybe you had really bad luck, or had some priors or a shitty lawyer. But it sounds like you foolishly talked to the cops. If there were no injuries then you must have talked your way into a conviction. Yes, you might get arrested. But if you say nothing then there will be no evidence to convict you.

If she calls police then you can just leave. If you stay then remove your wifebeater and put on a collared shirt and tie. Watch television - you rarely see guys arrested wearing a tie.

I think there are jurisdictions where police must make an arrest on domestic violence calls. In many other life situations you can talk your way out of an arrest. But often you can't. In that case, STFU. You have nothing to gain. No officer wants to leave the house and return to find an injured victim. They are looking for an excuse to arrest somebody and justify their visit. You gave them that excuse.

[OGNorCal707]

(06-10-2011 02:23 PM)kimleebj Wrote:  

(06-10-2011 02:03 PM)OGNorCal707 Wrote:  

I spent $2,000 on a lawyer, and have about another $1,000 worth of fines, have 3 years probation, and have to do a mandatory 52 week domestic violence course

Dude, maybe you had really bad luck, or had some priors or a shitty lawyer. But it sounds like you foolishly talked to the cops. If there were no injuries then you must have talked your way into a conviction. Yes, you might get arrested. But if you say nothing then there will be no evidence to convict you.

If she calls police then you can just leave. If you stay then remove your wifebeater and put on a collared shirt and tie. Watch television - you rarely see guys arrested wearing a tie.

I think there are jurisdictions where police must make an arrest on domestic violence calls. In many other life situations you can talk your way out of an arrest. But often you can't. In that case, STFU. You have nothing to gain. No officer wants to leave the house and return to find an injured victim. They are looking for an excuse to arrest somebody and justify their visit. You gave them that excuse.

Exactly. I was fucking stupid as hell. I had never been in that situation before, and in past experiences had been able to talk to the cops rationally and get out of trouble. I was in a state of shock and this was happening at 3 am. I should have just kept my mouth shut and not said a damn thing, I more or less shot myself in the foot.

Like I said I admitted to shaking her, (I had also hit her with a feather pillow a few times), but didn't say that to police. I feel that they took my words out of context and embellished the police report, they said on the police report that I had admitted to putting my hands on her neck. She said I attacked her. They took a pic of her neck which was supposed to have a red mark, but I couldn't tell from the picture.

Ofcourse, they didn't mention in the police report that I was telling them that she was belligerently drunk, acting psychotically, and threatening to hit her head against the wall. I don't have any prior convictions, and I think I did end up picking the wrong lawyer. He advised me to accept the plea. If it went to trial I may have ended up spending more time, money, and energy just to get the same outcome. California has very strict laws on this shit, in other states she would have to press charges, here it's a matter of you vs. the state of CA.

And yes, I agree that I made a grave mistake, but that bitch had no real reason to call 911 and ended up regretting it later and wanting to apologize, stay together. The shittiest thing is she couldn't really accept responsibility, and when she did apologize it was fake. She tried to blame me, and say I was a total retard for talking to the cops and therefore it was all my fault.

The whole experience of dating and the subsequent outcomes, are literally the worst things that have happened in my life.

[Diablo]

When are men going to get JUSTICE because it really is JUST-US. Everywhere in the world its impossible to find decent women. My ex used the fact that she look after me, cooking, cleaning for me to make me feel as if I was just ungrateful after all she had done. it almost sounds like that whole service wasn't given to me because she loved me, but it was a premium service and wasn't for free. It was rather what she could get out of me. The moment I started facing some problems at work because the business is suffering and I could possibly be out of work, she jusmps ship.

And when she was leaving she said things like "You'll never find a woman like me that will pamper you and do all that I did for you". She may very well be right, because in this world who has the time to cook, clean and look after a man. However the service she was offering wasn't worth it.

[mikeymike]

I haven't read all the responses some of them ran long and my attention span wanes so I apologize if any of this re-hash but it hurts like a bitch now and it will for a bit. I've been there, I was engaged thought I found the right girl and when she decided she wanted to go to med school, I was behind her choice even when she ultimately decided it was one that was going to mean we were going to have to be long distance for a while. While apart she got very insecure cause of how busy I was with my work and the women (actresses/models) it had me around that one night after trying to get a hold of me late and not having luck decided either I was cheating or that I was on the verge of it at least that was the excuse she went with so she was going to beat me to the punch so she fucked some dude. Got me the next morning and said where the fuck where you and when I told her she started bawling and told me and I ended it right there. Technically I ended it but might as well have been dumped for how I felt. There's no way to sugar coat it, it sucks but these chicks, figure it out eventually. Yours might enjoy the perks right now of the old dude but the tide changes quick, she's not young forever, those looks aren't going to hold and these guys are going to trade her in, like she tried to trade you in and that's when it's going to hit that she royally fucked up. She's just too young and stupid to see that right now. It's not much of a consolation right now but my ex calls me and she's with a guy now and she's been with him for a while but she'd leave him at the drop of a hat for me if I asked, she's said as much and while I took I back the ring I gave her, she had the jeweler make her the same one and she wears it around neck still so if she ever felt it for real she'll realize eventually and it'll make her feel way worse down the road, we just got burned she has to live with the regret and that's way worse. You get the immediate pain, but it'll pass, like it did for me and the millions of other guys its happened too and you end up on the other side, dating will become fun again, some strange will feel like a refreshing change and when you're ready you'll find someone better for ya if you want that but you're better equipped to see the warning signs now. If I'm seeing a chick now and she starts for even a second on the jealousy shit, I hang with my boys too much, why am I hard to get a hold of anything I'm gone...you live and learn and while she'll have the regrets you'll be grateful that you dodged that bullet and were able to move on to bigger and better things.

[Saladin]

And people ask me why I don't want to get married at all or at least not till I'm 40......

[CupCake]

(06-10-2011 04:51 AM)Diablo Wrote:  

So I ask her what about all the money I spent on her. She never worked whilst she was with me and I took care of everything for her whenever she needed it. She said it wasn't enough.

This is something you should try to keep in mind. You did everything right and she whored herself out for money. Who lost out? Definitely not you. She's gonna age one day and her looks won't buy her shit anymore. You have a lot of practice being a good boyfriend. Now you get to go find another chick who appreciates your work.

(06-10-2011 04:51 AM)Diablo Wrote:  

That is why I hang out on forums like Roosh and others just to keep myself doing something to try and forget.

This is a good habit. Try to get your mind off of her and whatever you do keep your distance from her. It's possible that she'll come begging to you again if something happens to her. Ignore her from now on and join some internet forums. I've been in situations like yours and they have helped me tremendously. By the way, you said you feel like you could cry. Don't hold yourself from doing that. Crying helps you in many ways.

(06-10-2011 04:51 AM)Diablo Wrote:  

Will I ever meet someone better than her?

Sounds like anyone is better than her at this point. You might not be able to see that now because of your pain, but it's true. Literally ANY loyal woman is going to be better than her.

Time heals all wounds, my friend. I know you feel like hell but I'm sure you'll look back on this as a formative moment of your life.

[peterthephoenix]

Daaamn. I'm 20 and this shit scares me.

I'm in a relationship with a girl at the moment. Total sweetheart, fucks like a champ, cooks me food.

Is this where things are heading? I guess I'm never getting married.