[HenryM]

Me: 40's, been on the Game for about 3 years (read and tried to apply lots of Roosh, Krauser, Heartiste)

Gf: 31 (I know, bad age)

Thought relationship started well--met in context of other women with some interest in me; used lines like "that's why we can't have nice stuff" when she was clumsy, etc.

18 months in--sex becoming much less frequent; arguments getting more frequent.

Looked at her diary--to my horror she views me as a classic beta-boy. Pining for a previous lover; would like to marry me but clear that's she's settling; lots of complaints she would only make of a beta; contemplating seeking "emotional support" elsewhere.

Have tried some dread game (vaguely-justified trips to NYC; left flowers feom another girl at my place) but little help.

I know I should NEXT her but feel really bad to be viewed as such a beta by someone I know so well.

[MKDAWUSS]

(08-04-2015 12:15 PM)HenryM Wrote:  

I know I should NEXT her but feel really bad to be viewed as such a beta by someone I know so well.

So I guess it's either "Next!" or be a beta...

[CleanSlate]

You aren't married yet? This is YOUR chance to get out!

You know it deep down in your gut, and your gut is screaming at you right now. That's why you found this place. This is why you posted this.

I may sound preachy, but I don't care: Listen to your gut!

I wish I had listened to my own. If I had, I wouldn't have pissed away five years of my own life. Good thing is I'm only 35. But you are in your 40s, and YOUR time is becoming more precious and valuable as ever. The next minute is more valuable than this minute. Then the minute after that is even more valuable, and so on.

Stop wasting your time with this chick who doesn't really adore you.

Get out. NOW. Don't get married. Especially NOT to this girl who feels she's settling with you.

If you need any inspiration, read my Divorce thread in my signature, and then read my Philippines trip. In that order.

*getting off my soapbox, muttering "I hope this guy will listen..."*

[Travesty]

Her age isn't bad you are doing very well dating a decade + younger.

As Roosh said, the game that got her is the game that keeps her.

Remember the first month of the relationship whatever you did then including frequency of seeing her, texting her etc.. you needed to keep that up unless she is a devoted mother to your children.

Anyways as said, even if you change her view of you do you really want to be with someone that fades her loyalty so easily?

If you want good LTR's you should be focusing on getting out of the country.

[Suits]

Do what Travesty suggested and if it doesn't work, break up with her and get back to fucking as many different women as possible.

[Suits]

Delete

[Baldwin81]

HenryM,

My first relationship after learning and applying game was similar to what you're describing here. Roughly the same age difference, too... Reframe the situation: This is valuable learning experience AND you're getting a huge break on tuition. Walk down the aisle? Get her pregnant? Shiiit, that would be some 6-figure student loan debt to the school of game!

^Beta backsliding happens. It's happened to damn near everyone on this forum and knows no age limit or floor. It could be a blow to the ego, but fuck the ego and don't be so hard on yourself. Beating yourself up is wasted energy better spent on making an exit.

There's more good news: Your first reaction isn't the "save her." She doesn't need saving, of course. Long story short, save yourself and walk (run) from this situation. Please (please) refrain from banging... especially at 31, it's a pregnancy trap waiting to happen.

Even more good news: If you're in your 40's and have only been learning game for a few years, you may not be realizing just how great the no-strings variety in this United States of America can be in 2015. It might be hard to believe now, but you will forget all about this when you have an in-shape 20something in your bed. You will have this, too, so long as you keep learning and keep applying. Promise.

Cut ties. It's not worth it. Great, hard-earned advice in this thread. Best wishes to you.

EDIT: If you live with her, don't use that as an excuse to wait. Make moves now. Going through a woman's diary is a scarcity mindset tell. This mindset can be fixed, but first you NEED to exit.

[NinjaShaman]

(08-04-2015 12:15 PM)HenryM Wrote:  

I know I should NEXT her but feel really bad to be viewed as such a beta by someone I know so well.

The only way you'll be viewed as anything else is if you drop her. Like now. And go no contact. And move the fuck on.

She'll always wonder why. And the next beta will read about how she pines over you when he snoops through her dairy.

[Pontifex Maximus]

(08-04-2015 12:15 PM)HenryM Wrote:  

Me: 40's, been on the Game for about 3 years (read and tried to apply lots of Roosh, Krauser, Heartiste)

Gf: 31 (I know, bad age)

Thought relationship started well--met in context of other women with some interest in me; used lines like "that's why we can't have nice stuff" when she was clumsy, etc.

18 months in--sex becoming much less frequent; arguments getting more frequent.

Looked at her diary--to my horror she views me as a classic beta-boy. Pining for a previous lover; would like to marry me but clear that's she's settling; lots of complaints she would only make of a beta; contemplating seeking "emotional support" elsewhere.

Have tried some dread game (vaguely-justified trips to NYC; left flowers feom another girl at my place) but little help.

I know I should NEXT her but feel really bad to be viewed as such a beta by someone I know so well.

She sees you as a disposable boytoy, and you're letting her. Why did you try to justify going to NY? She thinks you left the flowers out ON PURPOSE to make her jealous. Your efforts are "cute" to her. You aren't George Clooney, you're a "I need hand" George Constanza.

Stop using the "beta" label. Wake up every morning and count your blessings. That should be your source of self-esteem, not fishing for the "alpha" label. She's 31. She needs you to settle with her. You don't. That's why you can bail. No dread game required. It's like building a scarecrow when you have a point blank shot at the birds.

[HenryM]

Thanks guys, especially for showing me that the glass is half full. Will dump and go back on the Game full-time.

[WestIndianArchie]

How does she treat you?

WIA

[el mechanico]

Quote:

vaguely-justified trips to NYC

   

[Gringuito]

Great advice from everyone here. I'd also mention Henry that by 31 years old your EX-girlfriend may have been riding the CC for over a decade before you even met her. Don't beat yourself up about being viewed as a "beta" in her eyes. If she's an alpha widow anyone that isn't a famous wealthy professional athlete could be viewed by her as settling. She's still views her SMV as the same as when she was 18 years old. Congrats on not getting married.

[amusedmastery]

31=looking for a provider to lock into a sexless marriage and have kids until detonation time when she bangs the pool boy, co-worker, pizza guy, etc....There's more red flags here then a May Day rally and she's showing serious hypergamous signage. Chances are she's already banged someone.

Sounds bitchy too. Jam, dude. Tell her you're banging a hot 22 year old on the way out.

[HenryM]

WIA: she's generally pleasant but has been slacking off re: sex/affection; and been picking fights over stuff that she used to let slide

[kaotic]

(08-04-2015 01:47 PM)HenryM Wrote:  

WIA: she's generally pleasant but has been slacking off re: sex/affection; and been picking fights over stuff that she used to let slide

You already know the answer to your question.



You also:



Trav & Roosh nailed this perfectly:

Quote:

As Roosh said, the game that got her is the game that keeps her.

You lost your edge and your game, it's okay, it happens man.

Now it's time to eject and hit the restart button.

Remember this: IT'S ONLY GOING TO GET WORST WITH HER.

You've also read her diaries and it's poisoned your view of her with red pill thoughts.

It's time to move on my friend. The gents on here have given you solid advice that I co-sign with.

[samsamsam]

(08-04-2015 12:25 PM)MKDAWUSS Wrote:  

(08-04-2015 12:15 PM)HenryM Wrote:  

I know I should NEXT her but feel really bad to be viewed as such a beta by someone I know so well.

So I guess it's either "Next!" or be a beta...

I do hate the labels we put on everything. But based on what she says about you, she doesn't think much of you.

Why would you be with someone who thinks lesser of you? How do you feel about yourself lately? Not trying to be mean, but where is your pride?

[Sonoma]

Cheat on her. Live the single life. Bail discretely if possible. If not, let her be mad when she finds out about you doing shit she doesn't like, and dump her.

[Remington]

Once a woman has developed an opinion of you, it is very difficult to change her viewpoint. You may have started the relationship with good game to lock her down but might have began putting her on the pedestal ever since.

If you are trying to salvage the relationship, it will come at your cost. You will be the one investing all the time to try and change the way she feels about you.

Listen to the rest of the men on here and end it. Your self awareness plays a huge role in your development. It seems that you have a solid idea of what you need to concentrate on, so go out there and get yours.

[NinjaShaman]

(08-04-2015 01:17 PM)HenryM Wrote:  

Thanks guys, especially for showing me that the glass is half full. Will dump and go back on the Game full-time.

Awesome.

When and how will you dump?

[Feldeinsamkeit]

(08-04-2015 12:38 PM)CleanSlate Wrote:  

You aren't married yet? This is YOUR chance to get out!

You know it deep down in your gut, and your gut is screaming at you right now. That's why you found this place. This is why you posted this.

I may sound preachy, but I don't care: Listen to your gut!

I wish I had listened to my own. If I had, I wouldn't have pissed away five years of my own life. Good thing is I'm only 35. But you are in your 40s, and YOUR time is becoming more precious and valuable as ever. The next minute is more valuable than this minute. Then the minute after that is even more valuable, and so on.

Stop wasting your time with this chick who doesn't really adore you.

Get out. NOW. Don't get married. Especially NOT to this girl who feels she's settling with you.

If you need any inspiration, read my Divorce thread in my signature, and then read my Philippines trip. In that order.

*getting off my soapbox, muttering "I hope this guy will listen..."*

This is sage advice. I found myself in a similar predicament with my German ex, but I was foolish enough to stick around for a decade. I was getting the same type of beta vibe in one way or another, including in writing to some of her friends and it ended with her cheating on me. The writing is on the wall in your case, so don't say you haven't been warned. The fact that you never married her is your get out of jail card - I'd use it accordingly.

If there's ever conflict between your gut and your mind, go with your gut. Every time - no exceptions. Your mind may eventually get the right explanation, but only after your gut had been telling you it all along.

[HenryM]

[/quote]

Awesome.

When and how will you dump?
[/quote]

Probably not as good as cutting the cord straight-away, but realistically:

Will be out of town a lot for work after Labor Day. Will start doing day and night game while out of town. Once feel have worked the rust off, game-wise, will dump the gf.

[CleanSlate]

Don't feel as though your game has to be rust-free before you dump your gf. Just stick around, man.

[GlobalMan]

You should always be doing what's best for you. Your decisions should be based your needs.


I highly recommend you read the following book. PM me if you want it, I have a PDF. That includes all of you guys.

[DarkTriad]

(08-04-2015 01:17 PM)HenryM Wrote:  

Thanks guys, especially for showing me that the glass is half full. Will dump and go back on the Game full-time.

If you're truly beat down to Beta, dump and start over. But that's like a guy with a bad hangover quitting drinking forever and devoting himself to AA...some people need it, others just learn to drink in moderation. Downgrade her to plate, if she gives you shit, radio silence for a week or two, if he doesn't respond properly, make it longer. Game is easier when you've got a steady stream of pussy to go back to.