[Vitriol]

From: http://www.nytimes.com/2015/06/26/fashio...tment.html

Quote:

What’s Ghosting?

Ghost, a word more commonly associated with Casper, the boy who saw dead people and a 1990 movie starring Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze, has also come to be used as a verb that refers to ending a romantic relationship by cutting off all contact and ignoring the former partner’s attempts to reach out.

Who’s Doing It?

The term has already entered the polling lexicon: In October 2014, a YouGov/Huffington Post poll of 1,000 adults showed that 11 percent of Americans have “ghosted” someone. A more informal survey from Elle magazine that polled 185 people found that about 16.7 percent of men and 24.2 percent of women have been ghosts at some point in their lives.

The best part...

Quote:

Kate Eberstadt, 23, a multidisciplinary artist who admits to ghosting more times than she can count, can testify to this kind of avoidance. She recalled meeting a man while with a group of friends, exploring art galleries together and spending an entire night talking to him when he showed up at the bar where she worked. He later asked her out to dinner.

“I couldn’t bring myself to respond,” Ms. Eberstadt wrote in an email from Germany. “I was not emotionally available. I could have explained this to him, but did not want to for fear of coming off, and potentially being written off, as overly complicated.”

We all know if you number close a bitch, there is maybe a 10-20% change she will actually respond, and even girls you are fucking are liable to go ghost any time you try to initiate contact with them. This has been well documented for years on the forum, which only proves how old and out of touch the audience for the NYtimes was for "recently discovering such a troubling phenomenon" which was started by young Americunts who have more contacts than they have hours in a day.

[Suits]

Somehow this will be reframed so that the women are the victims.

[Lucky]

Quote:

16.7 percent of men and 24.2 percent of women have been ghosts at some point in their lives.

I'm surprised they gave the numbers-- anything that casts women in a bad light is supposed to be swept under the rug.

Quote:

Kate Eberstadt, 23, a multidisciplinary artist who admits to ghosting more times than she can count, can testify to this kind of avoidance.

When I read that part, I already knew what was coming next.

Quote:

The rise of apps like Tinder and Grindr, and the impression they give that there is always someone else — literally — around the corner, is certainly empowering to ghosts.

Just the sort of people we should want to empower.

In many ways women are more emotionally fragile than ever yet more willing to hurt a person by vanishing. Down the cliff we go.

[The Beast1]

Multidisciplinary artist? Sounds like she's unemployed.

[Vaun]

(07-01-2015 05:18 AM)Suits Wrote:  

Somehow this will be reframed so that the women are the victims.

it already has, there has been a follow up article of reader submitted "ghosting horror stories", mostly made up woman complaining about how their boyfriends went away. That took about 3000 words. If it were men complaining of being ghosted, it would be a never ending stream of consciousness from all of the words men, over the entire course of history, resulting in the largest document ever created, and some modern day PUA from England who dresses like Moses because long beards, sandals and robes and dressing all biblical and shit would be in, would come along and deem it the "Red Pill Bible."

[Gmac]

This is the new age of dating cowardice and women are leading the charge. Rather than communicate or break things off, people now would rather just drop off the grid completely and avoid any sort of conflict or resolution - because it's "easier." I'm sure we've all experienced "ghosting" in one form or another.

I had a series of dates with a girl a few weeks ago that was going perfectly fine. Sent a follow up text afterward, and... radio silence. Often this happens for seemingly no reason at all. But the truth is that something wasn't quite working and the other person didn't have the courage to say something.

"Lesser" ghosting, an art my ex had honed... is essentially ignoring or not replying to texts at all, only to resurface half a day, a day, or longer. I think we'd consider this normal behavior when meeting new people or in the stages of dating, but not in a full blown relationship. When you're face to face with someone, it's a lot harder to ignore a conversation. Texting gives the user a lot more control, seeing as you can choose when, how, or if you respond at all.

Better off just calling from now on.

[General Stalin]

(07-01-2015 08:26 AM)Gmac Wrote:  

This is the new age of dating cowardice and women are leading the charge. Rather than communicate or break things off, people now would rather just drop off the grid completely and avoid any sort of conflict or resolution - because it's "easier." I'm sure we've all experienced "ghosting" in one form or another.

I had a series of dates with a girl a few weeks ago that was going perfectly fine. Sent a follow up text afterward, and... radio silence. Often this happens for seemingly no reason at all. But the truth is that something wasn't quite working and the other person didn't have the courage to say something.

"Lesser" ghosting, an art my ex had honed... is essentially ignoring or not replying to texts at all, only to resurface half a day, a day, or longer. I think we'd consider this normal behavior when meeting new people or in the stages of dating, but not in a full blown relationship. When you're face to face with someone, it's a lot harder to ignore a conversation. Texting gives the user a lot more control, seeing as you can choose when, how, or if you respond at all.

Better off just calling from now on.

Not sure if you're aware, but phone calls are just as easy to ignore as texts.

Someone wrote up a pretty insightful theory a while back on here about the current state of women and dating describing them as "dismissive/avoidant." I forget the user but it was a pretty accurate observation. I'm not going to say that this is a woman-only thing because we certainly do it too, but obviously women do this a lot more than man for multiple reasons. First and foremost they simply get more traffic and have more options than men so it's purely numbers. Secondly women are far less confrontational and far more self-centered and ego-driven. Lastly they are far more likely to "go with the breeze" instead of accepting responsibility or recognizing and honoring investments.

[Gmac]

(07-01-2015 08:49 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Not sure if you're aware, but phone calls are just as easy to ignore as texts.

Funny.

If you set the tone for calling from the get go you may have your calls go to voicemail from time to time, but when you do connect you won't be dealing with a string of half a dozen text messages over a 12 hour period. It's too bad Gmanifesto had to ghost on us or he'd be telling us all to always call to take care of our business.

[Vaun]

(07-01-2015 08:26 AM)Gmac Wrote:  

This is the new age of dating cowardice and women are leading the charge. Rather than communicate or break things off, people now would rather just drop off the grid completely and avoid any sort of conflict or resolution - because it's "easier." I'm sure we've all experienced "ghosting" in one form or another.

This has really been going on forever though, on both sides. Its nothing new. And what if that person your breaking from is highly confrontational, looking for a fight, litigious or just plainly doesn't deserve an explanation? Why explain anything?

[General Stalin]

(07-01-2015 08:55 AM)Gmac Wrote:  

(07-01-2015 08:49 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Not sure if you're aware, but phone calls are just as easy to ignore as texts.

Funny.

If you set the tone for calling from the get go you may have your calls go to voicemail from time to time, but when you do connect you won't be dealing with a string of half a dozen text messages over a 12 hour period. It's too bad Gmanifesto had to ghost on us or he'd be telling us all to always call to take care of our business.

I'm a big proponent of calling as well, but it doesn't change the fact that a broad can ignore a phone call just as easy as a text if she doesn't feel like playing ball with you.

The real question is what is the effect of this avoidance-mentality that has been exponentially perpetuated over the last several years? What is the damage done? I would say it takes away from valuable social lessons that need to be learned through normal healthy human interaction. Avoiding confrontation keeps people in a state of comfort where they do not learn or evolve socially whic stunts their personal growth and maturity.

[Rang off the Pipe]

But does that really apply to women very much? Men are created through that kind of (confrontational) adversity but I'm not so sure women are as well.

[MMX2010]

(07-01-2015 08:49 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Someone wrote up a pretty insightful theory a while back on here about the current state of women and dating describing them as "dismissive/avoidant." I forget the user but it was a pretty accurate observation.

AnonymousBosch and Matt Forney.

You can do a forum search for "avoidant" matched to their names and receive indirect links to their posts.

[SunW]

(07-01-2015 05:18 AM)Suits Wrote:  

Somehow this will be reframed so that the women are the victims.

Of course!

"You don't realize how difficult it is to be a womyn. You realize that we actually have to push alpha characters on a screen to respond. That burns 0.000635 calories, when we could be laying in the sun on the beach sipping our fruit beers."

I'll never get these Millennial-fucks and their texting anyway. A phone call for 2 minutes can solve most problems, but no, we have to spend seven hours texting back and forth trying to solve a problem. They can spin it any which way they like, they are simply afraid of talking on the phone - it is more awkward than texting, but getting over awkwardness is more important.

[General Stalin]

(07-01-2015 09:43 AM)MMX2010 Wrote:  

(07-01-2015 08:49 AM)General Stalin Wrote:  

Someone wrote up a pretty insightful theory a while back on here about the current state of women and dating describing them as "dismissive/avoidant." I forget the user but it was a pretty accurate observation.

AnonymousBosch and Matt Forney.

You can do a forum search for "avoidant" matched to their names and receive indirect links to their posts.

Damn I typed "dismissive avoidance" and couldn't find a damned thing.

[Aenigmarius]

(07-01-2015 06:56 AM)Vaun Wrote:  

(07-01-2015 05:18 AM)Suits Wrote:  

Somehow this will be reframed so that the women are the victims.

it already has, there has been a follow up article of reader submitted "ghosting horror stories", mostly made up woman complaining about how their boyfriends went away.

That's not what Vaun meant, I don't think. The article makes it seem like the women who ghost and flake the men are still the victims. Like the poor women don't want to act like this but they are forced to because of patriarchy or social pressure or global warming or panda bears.

[Dr. Howard]

So, what the article is really saying is that 24% of women have no manners or basic human courtesy. These are the same people that buy a dress for a date and then return it, eat all the free samples, cut in line, bang their 'bestie's' boyfriends etc. Just like the magic mike thread...this is good, flaking/ghosting lets their terrible personalities shine through from date #1.

[General Stalin]

(07-01-2015 10:07 AM)Aenigmarius Wrote:  

(07-01-2015 06:56 AM)Vaun Wrote:  

(07-01-2015 05:18 AM)Suits Wrote:  

Somehow this will be reframed so that the women are the victims.

it already has, there has been a follow up article of reader submitted "ghosting horror stories", mostly made up woman complaining about how their boyfriends went away.

That's not what Vaun meant, I don't think. The article makes it seem like the women who ghost and flake the men are still the victims. Like the poor women don't want to act like this but they are forced to because of patriarchy or social pressure or global warming or panda bears.

Thats really not much different than saying we don't want to pretend to be aloof and jaded womanizing assholes but we have no choice because of Feminism, social media, and sexual liberation. We're all products of our environments so to speak. Women are shit to us because everything on TV, in school, and the people that surround them in life have promoted them to be that way. The same way that men are promoted to be effeminate supplicant chumps.

We at the mansophere are just the outlier minority that goes against what the MSM, education, and everything else around us has told us to do - searching for the women that did the same thing.

[Vaun]

(07-01-2015 10:07 AM)Aenigmarius Wrote:  

(07-01-2015 06:56 AM)Vaun Wrote:  

(07-01-2015 05:18 AM)Suits Wrote:  

Somehow this will be reframed so that the women are the victims.

it already has, there has been a follow up article of reader submitted "ghosting horror stories", mostly made up woman complaining about how their boyfriends went away.

That's not what Vaun meant, I don't think. The article makes it seem like the women who ghost and flake the men are still the victims. Like the poor women don't want to act like this but they are forced to because of patriarchy or social pressure or global warming or panda bears.

haha that too! Either way, poooooooor me

[void]

Ghosting only has a positive effect on women, according to this video ^^

[Suits]

Quote:

16.7 percent of men and 24.2 percent of women have been ghosts at some point in their lives.

This statistic is highly misleading. Sure, 16.7 of men have pulled this as some point -- you can pretty much guess that the men who do this are players, who have several girls going at the same time...not guys who are dating women, like your average guy, who follows socially acceptable dating rules.

However, you can bet more than 24.2 percent of women have done this and the ones who 24.2% that will admit to it, have done it so often that their hamster simply can't produce enough exceptions to justify lying when surveyed.

You can get that on a per incident rate, women are easily responsible for at least 80% of the cases where texts go completely unanswered.

We know for a fact that 80% of guys out there are going to leap into action any time a women under 250LB texts him.

We also know that modern women are incapable of dealing with feeling uncomfortable for even two seconds and therefore it's likely that 100% of all women who have every been approached by at least one man and then decided to share their phone number....have at some point simply pretended that they didn't notice the incoming texts.

(07-01-2015 10:27 AM)Vaun Wrote:  

(07-01-2015 10:07 AM)Aenigmarius Wrote:  

(07-01-2015 06:56 AM)Vaun Wrote:  

(07-01-2015 05:18 AM)Suits Wrote:  

Somehow this will be reframed so that the women are the victims.

it already has, there has been a follow up article of reader submitted "ghosting horror stories", mostly made up woman complaining about how their boyfriends went away.

That's not what Vaun meant, I don't think. The article makes it seem like the women who ghost and flake the men are still the victims. Like the poor women don't want to act like this but they are forced to because of patriarchy or social pressure or global warming or panda bears.

haha that too! Either way, poooooooor me

It doesn't matter who does the ghosting. Whether it's the man or the woman, the woman is the victim.

[Vaun]

As the Ghostee - I would rather have a ghoster than a 'hanger on'. The ghoster is entirely clear about her intentions for me, and at this point in my life, I actually respect it more than get butt hurt over it. Why do I want a woman hanging around my life that I have to second guess constantly? Especially if she is a liability, damaging to ones self esteem or values or is just downright wrong for you. I only want women to remain in my life that closely match my values. I have made that mistake one too many times.

[General Stalin]

I have no less than 5 dead-end text conversations in my phone as we speak from within the past week. 3 are non-responses to my last text, and the other 2 are BS flakes with no counter offers.

I will admit as Vaun said that I prefer a ghost to an indefinite time waster. I dated a girl for a while last year who broke things off with me then would not stop texting me randomly every few weeks in an attempt to "be friends" (keep me as a dick in her pocket). I had to explicitly tell her to lose my number and even then she did not get the hint so I just kept ignoring every text she set until she finally stopped hitting me up. Either option is disrespectful and socially inept, but at least the former is unobtrusive and overt.

[Bacchus]

Bitches forget that ghosting is a two-way street.

Girl texts that she has something important to tell me



Girl texts that she needs help with something



Girl texts that she wants to hang out somewhere other than my apartment



Of course, all these texts come after you've hit it, while her opportunities to ghost are usually pre-bang. But this isn't always the case. The whole ghosting phenomenon caught the media's attention because of gossip about Charlize Theron's ghosting of Sean Penn at Cannes after they had been dating for months. I'm sure Sean Penn's still broken up about it

But finally, why ghost when you can troll?

[Cattle Rustler]

SunW, bust out a datasheet man.

[Kaizen]

Ha, I need to tune into the forum more...only heard of ghosting now. And that's exactly what happened to me last week.

A girl I had a ONS stand with. We were texting back and forth since I wanted to hit it again. Last text was from her was at 2am on a saturday night. Responded next day and bam...she's off the face of the planet

At least I'm not the first to experience this.