[AbsoluteKD]

Hello all,

I've been reading the site and lurking these forums for a bit now, but tonight I finally decided to register to hopefully get some thoughts and input on a situation I'm in.

I've been dating a girl from Thailand for a few months now (I'm in Canada, she works here as a live-in nanny), and things were great. She has all the qualities I look for in a woman and her amount of dick was low, I was her fifth. Or so I thought.

After a couple months together, she confessed that her real number of guys was 19, and they all came in a VERY short time span. She would use sites like Adult Friendfinder and POF to meet random guys and bang them. To put it in perspective, she broke up with her last boyfriend in Nov 2010. We started dating in March this year...between November and March she banged 9 dudes, including me.

This screams slut to me, and it makes me wonder if she's worth keeping around. Here's my dilemma though..

Since then, she tells me she feels absolutely disgusted with herself and her behaviour, and tells me she wants to change. She's deleted every guy she's met online out of her contacts/Fbook/etc. She's even offered me her e-mail password and phone bill access so I can be sure she's not fooling around, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to get the info.

Other than this though, things would be perfect. She's beautiful, takes good care of herself, cooks for me, cleans, sex life is great, everything a man could want in a good potential partner.

Knowing all of this, do you guys think she's worth keeping around, even though she has a BAD past and a large amount of previous dick experience? I'd love to hear your thoughts.

[Dash Global]

She needs to be atleast an 8 to warrant keeping around for a LTR. Post a pic for us to judge.

So what if she slept with 19 guys (its more btw as girls lie just as dudes always add more to their actual notch count) As long as the pussy looks good and is tight thats all that matters in that regard.

Also does she have any goals? Id suggest getting an educated grl with goals for a LTR atleast if yall plan on living in the US.

[Caligula]

How old is she?

Depends on what you mean by keeping around. She's not someone you'd want as the mother of your kids. She's not someone you want to invest a lot of resources in. No matter how contrite she is, riding the cock carousel like that is a sign of poor character.

But as someone to have some fun with for a while, why not? Even for an LTR, go for it. Don't worry about the other dudes. Just remember the jimmie hats and enjoy.

Do it on your own terms and don't fall into a scarcity mindset no matter how perfect she seems to you. There are plenty more like her out there.

[AbsoluteKD]

Dash - She's not an 8, I'd give her a 7 or so, but worth it to me because I've always had a thing for Asians lol. And yeah, the pussy looks good and is tight still. I do think 19 is the total as it gradually climbed from 5, to 10, to 15, to finally 19 one day where she listed them off in order.

Cali - That's the dilemma I'm facing. I'll stick around for a LTR due to all the benefits to being with her...but part of me does see her being a potential mother for the kids. If I take away that one factor (her past judgement), everything else about her would be ideal to start a family with.

I appreciate both of your insight, keep the thoughts coming guys!

EDIT: Forgot to answer a few things. She's 26, and was a virgin until 24. Maybe making up for lost youth? Heh. Yes, she does have goals as well, she's a university graduate working here in Canada, she needs 22 months as a live-in caregiver in order to be eligible for permanent resident.

[Baldwin81]

Absolute KD,

I think her past will always be in the back of your mind no matter how long the LTR lasts. To the unsuspecting romantic (I was this guy for too long), girls can do an excellent job of fronting about their slutty past. A cool thing about game and it's benefits, LTR-wise, is that you can get a pretty good tell of her promiscuity level based upon her actions rather than her words (those words couldn't have been pleasant to hear). Roissy had a good post on slut tells:

http://roissy.wordpress.com/2008/12/29/i...fy-a-slut/


It seems like you dig her. Easier said than done, but try to not to get too comfortable. So as to not get too comfortable, I'd suggest one thing:

Don't stop approaching. Even if you're not trying to cheat, try as hard as you can to not let your game rust too much.

[truedat]

OMG dude how old are you? If you were 65 and she was 20 Id say might as well, but why do you want to be in a relationship anyways if you are young? And if you like nice, clean, non-slutty Thai girls, why not go to Thailand and find a 16-17 yo girls to start a LTR with? As long as you dont mind if she fucks other guys in the future (she will), then go ahead and have a 'LTR' with her, but it would be better for you not to care how many men she has fucked because you dont want a LTR anyways. Fucking this girl is fine, as long as you dont get caught up (care about her). Good luck.

[AbsoluteKD]

Baldwin - It's not so much that her past will always be on my mind, or I'd obsess about it, I can forget about that easily enough. I'm no saint myself! I'm just trying to weigh the pros and cons of the situation. The only con to me is her past. I'm just wondering if it's too big of a con to ignore the rest of her many, many features that do make up a quality girl (as per the standards written about by guys like Roosh and Roissy). She has every other quality one could want...just a bad past. I'm just looking for opinions on if other guys would consider this to be a dealbreaker or not.

truedat - I'm 24 years old. I'd want to be in a LTR because really, if you meet the right girl, why not? If she was miserable to be around, cheating on me, and just generally a whining bitch? I'd walk, date more trash, until I found the next potential quality girl. Exactly what I did before meeting her, once again it's a "she has 9 out of 10 good qualities I'd want, is the missing 1 point a dealbreaker" issue with me right now. I LOL'd @ finding a 16-17 year old Thai girl though, even at 26 my g/f looks 18, I can only imagine how young they look at that age!

Thanks for the input guys.

[amistod]

This sounds like a tough one. She lied to you at the beginning, and then came clean once she developed feelings for you / guilt got out of control.

I am also wondering what type of girl runs through 9 guys via internet sites? It is one thing to give it up easy/fast in the bar scene looking for a potential mate.

[Roosh]

She seems to have atoned for her slutty behavior.

You have to see it from her perspective too... she comes from a more conservative culture and then enters the Western world where every guy wants to fuck her. At least she stopped after a couple months while the typical American girl keeps going and going and going.

Unless you plan on marrying her, I don't see the problem in keeping her in the rotation.

[zanetti]

are you saying she grew up in thailand and was a virgin until 24? seems kinda unlikely to me

[Baldwin81]

To me a past like that would be too much of a con for anything long term. Short term, medium term it would be cool, but the Adult Friend Finder streak is a pretty serious red flag.

You're a few months into the relationship with a girl you dig and a girl who digs you is a good spot. Keep in mind that this'll change and, when it does, bounce.

I hear you though, living in North America and finding a girl who you like to bone that acts feminine, cooks, cleans etc. is a good thing, but there are more like her (who haven't been on AFF).

Long story short (too late), I think it's too much of a red flag for something long term.

[Khaleth]

Maybe I'm just feeling really pessimistic today, but OP you have to realize that no one really gives a shit about your situation as much as you do. If you're ok with it then go with it. If not then don't. Personally, I never even bother asking questions about peoples numbers. Asking for that number is always gonna be a regret. You don't have to know her number to know she's clean. Every guy wants that virgin that fucks like a porn star... NEWSFLASH that chick doesn't exist! There's a huge double standard here. How many dudes do you think Jessica Alba, Halle Berry, Kate Beckinsale or any other celebrity have been with? I'm sure you don't even wanna know. If you had the money, power or looks to bang a different chick daily, you would... Hell every guy would. So why would you hold this chick to different standards? If she's done with that lifestyle, then you either believe her or you don't. Your choice should be pretty easy after that.

[Caligula]

(06-03-2011 05:12 PM)Khaleth Wrote:  

So why would you hold this chick to different standards?

Because women often become jaded and incapable of feeling the same amount of love and respect for any one man once she has been around the block a few times.

I don't think this is the case with most men.

[username]

She is girlfriend material not wife material. When she gets bored with after 5 years of marriage expect to see her on those hookup sites again.

[gds555]

I can't believe the ridiculous, antiquated mother-versus-whore analyses that I'm reading on this thread. What is this, the nineteenth century? Let me offer my own analysis, which most of you will initially see as contrarian but which I hope you'll end up seeing as eminently rational.

Your girlfriend's nineteen notches--or 25, or 40, or whatever the number is--are in all likelihood a sign of nothing other than healthy sexual enthusiasm, which, as long as she doesn't take it to the point of getting pregnant by another guy and trying to pass the kid off as yours, is one of the finest qualities a woman can have. If you don't realize what a scarcity of sexually enthusiastic women there is in the world, you might want to read a disturbing book called I'd Rather Eat Chocolate (2007) by Joan Sewell, which does a pretty good job of exposing the horrifying truth that an enormous number of adult women--probably more than half--have little or no enthusiasm for sex, and as a result--unless they're willing to spend a lifetime pretending that they actually are enthusiastic--are sooner or later likely to partially or completely cut their husbands off sexually, potentially making those husbands miserable for the rest of their lives. (Ann Landers basically revealed the same thing back in the mid eighties with her unscientific but still eye-opening "rather just cuddle" poll, but Sewell goes into more detail.) To all you guys who are touting the advantages of marrying a woman with only a few notches, I'd say, get ready for a lifetime of hell with one of these monsters. And if you should happen to impregnate one of them, you might want to think about convincing her to abort the fetus if it's female, because the frigid daughters of these frigid women are a pollution of the earth that should be no more welcome than killer E. coli or flesh-eating viruses.

Actually, to me the only red flag about your girlfriend is that it might in fact be true that she didn't lose her virginity until she was 24. If she'd lost it at 14 I'd feel a good deal better about her as a marriage prospect.

And if, once you're married, she screws around a little on you, so what? As long as she's careful not to bring home diseases or get pregnant, it shouldn't be a problem. And it'll give you de facto permission to screw around a little yourself, which might turn out to be welcome. Furthermore, if you find in the future that you're so bored out of your skull with fucking the same person that you want to get into the swinging lifestyle, she sounds like an excellent candidate for it. That might not sound like an important consideration now, but trust me, you'll probably be taking a different view once you're in your forties and fifties.

One big thing you should worry about is not about her per se, but rather about you, and that is, do you have any shortcomings that might make her regard you as genetically inferior, so that she might be tempted to get pregnant by some other, apparently genetically superior guy and then pass the kid off as yours, hoping that the kid will have better chances in life than one who was your biological child? (Recent genetic studies have revealed that, as hard as it might be to believe, something like 5 to 10 percent of children are conceived in that way.) You seem to be intelligent enough, so that shouldn't be an issue; but are you short? Do you have an ugly face? Do you have any deformities? Any serious health problems? If you can answer yes to any of those or similar questions, then maybe you should marry a more sexually conservative woman, or, alternatively, consider not reproducing at all. I know that sounds harsh, but I'm just trying to be realistic here. If you do marry your girlfriend, one thing you might consider is putting together a prenup requiring that any child she bears that proves to not be yours be put up for adoption; or, alternatively, requiring her, if she bears such a child, to divorce you and renounce any alimony or child support. (She should of course be able to get child support from the real father.)

I hope this helps.

[Roosh]

Hmmm..

-Quoting a female author
-Quoting Ann Landers
-Saying that women with a ton of notches is a good thing

Either we got a female troll or a really old guy.

[gds555]

Roosh,

I'm not a female troll, nor am I a really old guy. What I am is a guy who disagrees with the conventional wisdom of those men who think, "The kind of woman who can make me happy for life is a woman who doesn't like to fuck very much". Which is a recipe for disaster. Because, stripping away all the complications, a woman who genuinely likes to fuck will lose her virginity early, have sex with a lot of different guys, and be a joy in bed for life. Whereas a woman who doesn't like to fuck very much will lose her virginity late, only have sex with a few guys, and very likely make the man she settles down with miserable. The idea that there exists a significant problem of women with excessively large libidos, and that such women are likely to cause their men grief, is largely a figment of men's imagination, particularly in the modern world where high-libido women, as long as they have a modicum of sense, can use birth control to only reproduce with the one man they decide to settle down with.

I once made the mistake of marrying a sexually indifferent woman, a woman who didn't lose her virginity until she was around twenty and hadn't had many partners, and it was hell. I had an inkling of what I might be getting into, but I thought she had other good qualiities, and I thought I could change her. And why did this woman exist in the first place? Because her father, years earlier, had thought--and this is by his own admission--that he should marry a "good girl", the kind of sexually conservative woman he thought would be a good mother for his children, as opposed to marrying a slut. Three decades later, he was miserable with a frigid, rejecting wife, and I'd committed the folly of marrying their daughter, who had inherited all of her mother's frigid, rejecting nature, so that I was ensnared in the generational cycle of misery. I can see clearly now that it's ideas and reproductive choices of the kind my former father-in-law made, multiplied hundreds of billions of times through the millenia, that have led to the horrible situation humanity now finds itself in, where probably more than half of all women are basically sexually worthless. Those ideas and reproductive choices did make some sense in the pre-birth-control era, since they helped ensure that men only contributed to the upbringing of children who were their own and not somebody else's; but I'm convinced that for decades now such ideas and reproductive choices have had more disadvantages than advantages for the human condition. Fortunately my wife and I didn't have any children and I'm free now; and if I were to get married again, it would only be to a woman who I was really, really sure enjoyed sex.

Joan Sewell, female author though she is, has done the world a great service by laying bare some very ugly truths about female sexuality that, amazingly, people with much more expertise in human psychology than she has have chosen to ignore or deny. The main problem I have with her book is the attitude of low-libido acceptance that she arrives at after conducting her inquiry into female sexuality, an attitude that's reflected in the book's full title I'd Rather Eat Chocolate: Learning to Love My Low Libido. Whereas the book ought to be titled I'd Rather Eat Chocolate: Why I'm Going to Commit Suicide After Finishing This Book Because I Realize I'm a Blot on the Human Race.

As for Ann Landers, I despise her and most of the advice she ever gave about male-female relations, but she did do a great service back in the eighties by giving the world a glimpse of the ugly truths about female sexuality that Joan Sewell would treat in more detail a couple of decades later.

[oldnemesis]

(06-04-2011 11:02 AM)Roosh Wrote:  

-Saying that women with a ton of notches is a good thing

I think the similar way - with notches comes the experience. As long as she's clean, I don't really care how many notches she had. Personally my whole life I keep attracting the fucking virgins, and while it is fun to fuck them, it is quite tiring.

Somehow I am getting an impression that it is the same societal pressure, and the American guys worry more about "what would others say". Let's see: is a girl with 20 notches worse than a girl with 4? Probably most guys would say the one with 4 is better. Now, however, we explain that the girl with 20 got them when she was in some other faraway country like Russia (so nobody knows about those notches), while a girl with 4 got it from your four friends/colleagues/whoever (so everybody knows about them). Is the girl with 20 still worse?

And yes, I'm really interested in the answer.

[oldnemesis]

(06-02-2011 03:56 PM)AbsoluteKD Wrote:  

I've been dating a girl from Thailand for a few months now (I'm in Canada, she works here as a live-in nanny), and things were great. She has all the qualities I look for in a woman and her amount of dick was low, I was her fifth. Or so I thought.

If you ask girl such a question, the only way you can expect the honest answer is when she is sure it won't be a turn-off for you. So if you ever qualified her as "not a slut" - a very common qualification among Western dudes - it is very naive to expect an answer which wouldn't fit into your qualification.

Quote:

Since then, she tells me she feels absolutely disgusted with herself and her behaviour, and tells me she wants to change. She's deleted every guy she's met online out of her contacts/Fbook/etc. She's even offered me her e-mail password and phone bill access so I can be sure she's not fooling around, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to get the info.

This may actually be true. I know a few girls who have been raised very oppressed (and this is also the case in most Asian cultures) with strict parents, and once they got the freedom, they basically went to a fucking/drug/alcohol sprees. Which usually didn't last long.

Quote:

Knowing all of this, do you guys think she's worth keeping around, even though she has a BAD past and a large amount of previous dick experience?

This is a wrong question. You're getting a girl for yourself, not for us. Only you can decide if she worth keeping her around. Really, if you want to ask someone, ask your parents - at least they know you. At least it makes more sense than asking random anonymous people like me on Internet.

[iknowexactly]

(06-05-2011 01:22 PM)oldnemesis Wrote:  

(06-04-2011 11:02 AM)Roosh Wrote:  

-Saying that women with a ton of notches is a good thing

Now, however, we explain that the girl with 20 got them when she was in some other faraway country like Russia (so nobody knows about those notches), while a girl with 4 got it from your four friends/colleagues/whoever (so everybody knows about them). Is the girl with 20 still worse?

And yes, I'm really interested in the answer.

i'd tend to say I'd favor the girl with 20 notches from far-flung places, because her ratio of (guys met/guys fucked) might actually be higher; and I prefer someone who discriminates a bit, someone to whom sex means something emotionally.

The one who screwed 4 might have screwed half the guys she knew in her smaller social circle and might be more dysfunctional, less adventurous, although more willing to foul up the lives of for instance the married guys around if she had a big mouth.

The woman who takes the initiative to travel the world "deserves" to get more of her share of sexual adventure.