[jariel]

Too Deep For The Intro
I'm feelin' like James Harden right now. I know I'm ballin' out of control, but I don't care about MVP awards and scoring titles, I just want to want to win. I want to help other guys win too, and I'm confident that I can do that.

I'm going to start this one off by telling you guys something that maybe you've avoided telling yourself or maybe you understand it, but the reality of it bites like a Nile crocodile so it's hard to accept.

Relationships end.

For whatever reason once we start dealing with people on any real level -- real level means any long-term relationship whether she be a girlfriend or a fuck buddy -- we don't grasp that reality.

A man knows when he has a keeper.

Right now, you're reading this, and you have a woman in your life who is not that.

Thus, it is imperative that you accept the reality that at some point your relationship with her is going to end.

It has to.

In fact, it has to sooner rather than later.

Why?

Because for whatever reason she's just not good enough, and you're investing in a DOA relationship with her.

Imagine one day deciding you're going to build a castle, so that day you start. You spend all day laying down bricks, and then at the end of the day you destroy what you started.

The relationship you have with that girl who is not a keeper is a castle that is never going to be built.

For now, you're rationalizing its existence. You're getting something out of it, but chances are you're losing something with it.

Your confidence and your self-esteem.

Up until now, you probably thought those words were interchangeable.

Your self-esteem has to do with what you believe your worth as a man is.

Your confidence is a demonstration of your self-esteem.

A confident man believes he can take on the world because he's a valuable man, he doesn't have to fight nature, because nature wants to cooperate.

A woman who is worth the time and has value herself naturally wants to cooperate with a confident man, which is why she will shun the men who pedastalize her because "she's so high above" them her value trumps theirs.

Back to your DOA relationship.

As you continue to engage in said relationship, your self-esteem will take a hit, because one has to question their value when they're dealing with a loser female, or to some extent, a woman who just isn't that woman.

Ultimately this affects your confidence, because you know you're going to have to go back into the world and get another woman.

Are you sure you can do that?

Do you believe it?

It's Over Before It's Over
In continuing with the premise that we know relationships end, we also must understand that the day you end it, isn't the day it ended.

Imagine talking to a married couple. They tell you they've been married for 20 years, but they recently decided to get a divorce. They have a 10 year-old daughter.

Chances are that relationship was on the rocks before their daughter was born, but her birth forestalled the breakup. They both lied to themselves, told themselves that her birth would make things better, but it did not, they ultimately decided to make a decision that should have been made 10-15 years prior, break the fuck up.

Think about how long you've been in your DOA relationship.

You're saying to yourself, "Man, this girl has been my fuck buddy for three years."

Quote:

Note: From now on fuck buddies will be categorized by yours truly as soft girlfriends.

She probably should have been your soft girlfriend for three months, which means you've invested 33 more months than you should have.

Over the course of that time period, you've invested an innumerable amount of time in sharing your body, energy, money, etc. with someone who it was in the cards for you to leave from jump street.

Relationships end.

While money is a highly-valued commodity, time is the most precious commodity we have.

You can get money, and you can lose money, and you can get it back again.

You can't get back those 33 months.

What To Do When You Know It's Over
You don't wake up one morning and just say I'm done and be done. You wake up one morning, feel like you're done, and then start planting the I'm done seeds.

You stop returning her texts quickly.

You stop clicking over to take her calls when you're already on the line with someone else.

You stop hanging out regularly.

You start fucking less often.

You start putting less work in when you do fuck her -- no more marathon sessions, no more eating her pussy, more doggystyle, less missionary so you don't have to look her in the eyes.

You start not cumming when you do fuck her because you don't want to give her the satisfaction that she pleased you.

Your overall level of investment starts to dwindle, because she's a falling stock, and you're selling off your shares.

Now, you're a man, and that game you're playing is chess, not checkers.

She may think in the back of her mind about some of your moves, but she doesn't recognize the meaning behind them, you're still investing something, and that's enough for her continue to lie to herself that everything is "cool".

However, you're already thinking about your next move.

If you've gained a little weight during your DOA relationship, it's time to stop eating meals with her altogether, if you are doing that, get on your own program, and hit the gym hard as a motherfucker.

Stop spending money on her, not a dime. Save that money for yourself. You can use it to upgrade your wardrobe.

Stop sharing details about your life with her, you need to become a stranger. She is to know nothing.

When you're ready to make your move, go absolutely no contact.

If you have to change your phone number, do that.

If you have to move, do that.

If you have to block her e-mail address, twitter, facebook, etc., do that.

You have to get mentally and physically ready to go back out here into the world and compete for the woman you want.

Better hope I'm nowhere close.

Now That You've Moved On
So it's over. She's out of your life. Now what?

Think about the mistakes you made in that last relationship, and yes you made some, that's why the shit ended. Both parties did. Make sure you don't make those mistakes again.

Think about the shit she did that just didn't work for you. Avoid that shit from the next bitch. Let her know that certain things just won't be tolerated when and if they arise.

Women can go from relationship to relationship dealing with the same shit, like "Oh wow, great, Jamie is she's dating another asshole".

You're a man, you want to step your game up, you actually want to build a castle, not just lay a few bricks.

[reco2100]

awesome stuff

[Benoit]

Spot on.

(04-09-2015 08:24 PM)jariel Wrote:  

Think about the mistakes you made in that last relationship, and yes you made some, that's why the shit ended. Both parties did. Make sure you don't make those mistakes again.

Think about the shit she did that just didn't work for you. Avoid that shit from the next bitch. Let her know that certain things just won't be tolerated when and if they arise.

I'd go even further than this, like Patrice said "It's all your fault".

Things don't 'just happen', people make decisions and put themselves into situations where things happen. Every single thing she did that you let slide or didn't push back hard enough - it's your fault.

She got fat? Your fault.
She over-shared about other relationships? It's on you.
She started withholding sex? You're to blame.

Own your standards and expectations.

You never get to sit back and relax, a woman will never love you the way you want her to, but you can train her in how to please you.

You can't make someone else do things they don't want to, but you can either become a man who they want to act right around, or a man who goes along to get along.

[Oz.]

I wish I could've read this same thing back when I was like 18

[philosophical_recovery]

Gold.

This is a harsh reality to face when you know the soft girlfriend needs to go away: I.e. You pull back, taking out your shares, and she gets more clingy. You remind her that you're not a "thing", but she keeps on trying to drag you in one. She even starts to consider you being the open one in an open relationship.

But, every time you fall to your weakness for another lackluster fuck with her, your level of disgust and disappointment grows. She hasnt done the new sexual things that you want with her, and you don't care to spend the effort educating her. You use her to drain your balls, and you immediately want to get rid of her, or just emotionally tease her out of entertainment value.

Every second you waste with her is an opportunity lost with a cutie you haven't met yet. Every nut with her is one less bullet in your magazine to take down that HB 8 in her group of friends. You see the potential dry spell ahead, but you start accepting it, because at least you know that you also won't carry the emotional guilt of dragging her along, and there's always porn if you really need it..

End it.

[Brian Shima]

Jariel is once again proving why he is one of the TOP guys around here. How many years did it take you to get to your level? Look into offering PUA classes, I would defibetly sign up.

[h3ltrsk3ltr]

Contemplating relationships and harem building right now. I don't have a relationship I need to bail from anymore, but I sure as hell don't want to create one.

I like the perspective of building a castle. For me it's just not with one girl, it's the network and power I develop while pursuing alpha male status, sociopathic business tendencies and inner peace.

I guess the girls I'm seeking relationships with right now would be the more or less important out-buildings to the castle itself. One is an armory, another is a mason shop... They compliment the fortress but can be replaced if I go to war. They're always addendums, never the actual thing itself.

[CrackerDaddy]

(04-09-2015 08:24 PM)jariel Wrote:  

Too Deep For The Intro
I'm feelin' like James Harden right now. I know I'm ballin' out of control, but I don't care about MVP awards and scoring titles, I just want to want to win. I want to help other guys win too, and I'm confident that I can do that.

I'm going to start this one off by telling you guys something that maybe you've avoided telling yourself or maybe you understand it, but the reality of it bites like a Nile crocodile so it's hard to accept.

Relationships end.

For whatever reason once we start dealing with people on any real level -- real level means any long-term relationship whether she be a girlfriend or a fuck buddy -- we don't grasp that reality.

A man knows when he has a keeper.

Right now, you're reading this, and you have a woman in your life who is not that.

Thus, it is imperative that you accept the reality that at some point your relationship with her is going to end.

It has to.

In fact, it has to sooner rather than later.

Why?

Because for whatever reason she's just not good enough, and you're investing in a DOA relationship with her.

Imagine one day deciding you're going to build a castle, so that day you start. You spend all day laying down bricks, and then at the end of the day you destroy what you started.

The relationship you have with that girl who is not a keeper is a castle that is never going to be built.

For now, you're rationalizing its existence. You're getting something out of it, but chances are you're losing something with it.

Your confidence and your self-esteem.

Up until now, you probably thought those words were interchangeable.

Your self-esteem has to do with what you believe your worth as a man is.

Your confidence is a demonstration of your self-esteem.

A confident man believes he can take on the world because he's a valuable man, he doesn't have to fight nature, because nature wants to cooperate.

A woman who is worth the time and has value herself naturally wants to cooperate with a confident man, which is why she will shun the men who pedastalize her because "she's so high above" them her value trumps theirs.

Back to your DOA relationship.

As you continue to engage in said relationship, your self-esteem will take a hit, because one has to question their value when they're dealing with a loser female, or to some extent, a woman who just isn't that woman.

Ultimately this affects your confidence, because you know you're going to have to go back into the world and get another woman.

Are you sure you can do that?

Do you believe it?

It's Over Before It's Over
In continuing with the premise that we know relationships end, we also must understand that the day you end it, isn't the day it ended.

Imagine talking to a married couple. They tell you they've been married for 20 years, but they recently decided to get a divorce. They have a 10 year-old daughter.

Chances are that relationship was on the rocks before their daughter was born, but her birth forestalled the breakup. They both lied to themselves, told themselves that her birth would make things better, but it did not, they ultimately decided to make a decision that should have been made 10-15 years prior, break the fuck up.

Think about how long you've been in your DOA relationship.

You're saying to yourself, "Man, this girl has been my fuck buddy for three years."

Quote:

Note: From now on fuck buddies will be categorized by yours truly as soft girlfriends.

She probably should have been your soft girlfriend for three months, which means you've invested 33 more months than you should have.

Over the course of that time period, you've invested an innumerable amount of time in sharing your body, energy, money, etc. with someone who it was in the cards for you to leave from jump street.

Relationships end.

While money is a highly-valued commodity, time is the most precious commodity we have.

You can get money, and you can lose money, and you can get it back again.

You can't get back those 33 months.

What To Do When You Know It's Over
You don't wake up one morning and just say I'm done and be done. You wake up one morning, feel like you're done, and then start planting the I'm done seeds.

You stop returning her texts quickly.

You stop clicking over to take her calls when you're already on the line with someone else.

You stop hanging out regularly.

You start fucking less often.

You start putting less work in when you do fuck her -- no more marathon sessions, no more eating her pussy, more doggystyle, less missionary so you don't have to look her in the eyes.

You start not cumming when you do fuck her because you don't want to give her the satisfaction that she pleased you.

Your overall level of investment starts to dwindle, because she's a falling stock, and you're selling off your shares.

Now, you're a man, and that game you're playing is chess, not checkers.

She may think in the back of her mind about some of your moves, but she doesn't recognize the meaning behind them, you're still investing something, and that's enough for her continue to lie to herself that everything is "cool".

However, you're already thinking about your next move.

If you've gained a little weight during your DOA relationship, it's time to stop eating meals with her altogether, if you are doing that, get on your own program, and hit the gym hard as a motherfucker.

Stop spending money on her, not a dime. Save that money for yourself. You can use it to upgrade your wardrobe.

Stop sharing details about your life with her, you need to become a stranger. She is to know nothing.

When you're ready to make your move, go absolutely no contact.

If you have to change your phone number, do that.

If you have to move, do that.

If you have to block her e-mail address, twitter, facebook, etc., do that.

You have to get mentally and physically ready to go back out here into the world and compete for the woman you want.

Better hope I'm nowhere close.

Now That You've Moved On
So it's over. She's out of your life. Now what?

Think about the mistakes you made in that last relationship, and yes you made some, that's why the shit ended. Both parties did. Make sure you don't make those mistakes again.

Think about the shit she did that just didn't work for you. Avoid that shit from the next bitch. Let her know that certain things just won't be tolerated when and if they arise.

Women can go from relationship to relationship dealing with the same shit, like "Oh wow, great, Jamie is she's dating another asshole".

You're a man, you want to step your game up, you actually want to build a castle, not just lay a few bricks.

^^^^
Truth

[CrackerDaddy]

(04-10-2015 05:56 AM)Benoit Wrote:  

Spot on.

(04-09-2015 08:24 PM)jariel Wrote:  

Think about the mistakes you made in that last relationship, and yes you made some, that's why the shit ended. Both parties did. Make sure you don't make those mistakes again.

Think about the shit she did that just didn't work for you. Avoid that shit from the next bitch. Let her know that certain things just won't be tolerated when and if they arise.

I'd go even further than this, like Patrice said "It's all your fault".

Things don't 'just happen', people make decisions and put themselves into situations where things happen. Every single thing she did that you let slide or didn't push back hard enough - it's your fault.

She got fat? Your fault.
She over-shared about other relationships? It's on you.
She started withholding sex? You're to blame.

Own your standards and expectations.

You never get to sit back and relax, a woman will never love you the way you want her to, but you can train her in how to please you.

You can't make someone else do things they don't want to, but you can either become a man who they want to act right around, or a man who goes along to get along.

^^^^^^^
More Truth

That is the way to be.......total ownership of your shit. That is what it is to be a man.