[CleanSlate]

Hey everyone,

I dug up my old account here, registered in 2009, but barely posted anything at the time. I used to be in the so-called community and knew some of the lingo, and I read Roosh's blog every now and then (I also know him personally from when I lived in DC).

Well, long story short: I totally beta'ed out! :/

Here's how it went down. I met a girl who I thought was different from the much maligned American girl, at least in these circles. I fell in love, and so did she. It didn't matter that she already had one failed marriage and a five year old son (at the time). We were so in love, and thought that love conquered all. Yeah, I'll pause for a minute while you get your barf bags out.

Fast forward to a few months ago. I found out that she cheated on me and lied to me about it for a year and half. I was devastated and angry, of course. Then a mental war ensued in my head, debating whether to forgive her as long as she was remorseful and promised to repair our marriage, or getting a divorce. This lasted for 2-3 months. Lots of sleepless nights, tears, heart palpitations, panic attacks, constantly high on fight-vs-flight hormones. It was pure hell.

Then one morning, I woke up and asked myself whether I could ever trust her again. The answer was no, and it became very clear on what to do next.

I made the decision to file for divorce and move out as quickly as I could. We did sign a prenup in a community property state, so my retirement is protected and I'm also protected from her debts. We also have no kids together - so no child support, and we haven't been married long enough for alimony to get into the picture. I'm only 35, and I even look 30 according to people when I tell them my real age. We only have a house together, which we are going to put on the market soon. Sell n' split.

Now, I'm back to being single, living on my own. Again. I'm young enough to just pick up where I left off from before, but I'm not going to make the mistakes I made before.

I mean, I knew that marriage was a raw deal - but only intellectually. It seems that I had to really experience it for myself, to really understand what marriage - at least with the wrong person - is like. Being single and alone is better than being married and miserable.

For the next few years, at least, I'm going to meet women, not for dating or relationships, but only for casual fun and sex. I'm not ruling out getting married again, though. Never say never, because I've always wanted kids, too. But next time, I'm going to go about it MUCH differently than before.

Before I can ever consider marriage again, my inner game MUST be rock solid and indestructible. I am not at that point yet. Nowhere near that point. I don't know how long that will take, maybe a couple years, or maybe an entire lifetime.

And IF I decide I'm ready to marry again, I will only consider women of the same ethnic background as myself, and who values family above all else. It will be a traditional marriage as opposed to a Westernized love marriage.

But for now, I'm single. I'm free, and I intend to keep it that way for a while.

[Dantes]

These stories are important to hear about.

There must have been warning signs prior to the affair. Can you speak more about this and also about your inner game during marriage. It is an important aspect of Game that isn't covered enough.

Is she American?

Best of luck

[kmhour]

sounds like you didn't get badly screwed in divorce and you're young enough to dust yourself off and get back in the game with no ill effects except some valuable life lessons. consider yourself lucky.

[YoungAngel1]

Nice read. I think a lot of us guys on this forum have been burned by women. I think the majority of men, don't realize how it feels, and have never truly been done wrong by women. Especially the older men, I think that's why they're a so quick to white knight and stick up for women, back in the day it was always the man cheating. Well, the game has changed. If anything, women have the advantage in pretty much everything in life, especially the attractive ones.

Anyways, you say you want to marry inside your race now. Do you think marrying outside your ethnicity was a factor?

[turkishcandy]

I'm not gonna hold it against you or anything, but considering you left your game at a level where you married and bailed out a cheating lying single mom, and you've just picked up your game from where it was, you have A LOT to catch up with. I'm talking VERY basic stuff. Like, if there was a rule #1 to game, it would be that Don't get married to someone like, well, your ex wife. So start learning yesterday.

Glad to have you back.

[WestIndianArchie]

Glad to hear that you're moving on.

Might I suggest a trip to Latin America, Asia, or Eastern Europe?

WIA

[ChazKGB]

Don't think about marriage man. You're 35, look 30, and can have a ton of fun on the open market. You need to go out and start practicing your game again. Get laid a lot. Take a trip though. Trust me. Where you've been living is not a comfortable place to spit game anymore. A change of scenery will help immensely.

That guy who swooped your ex is your hero dude. Saved you from living out the prime of your life with a woman who wasn't meant to be. Before you kill him, buy him a nice glass of scotch.

[MY DETROIT PLAYAS]

*appreciated the part about having intellectualized the meaning of marriage vs. NOT having internalized it...

Happens to even the best of us, lots of great thoughts on this thread too:

http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-42398.html

All the best in the future

[Travesty]

(01-27-2015 02:46 PM)NKTexas Wrote:  

It didn't matter that she already had one failed marriage and a five year old son (at the time). We were so in love, and thought that love conquered all.

If you went and did this then no you were never truly apart of the community. You had much to learn still.

I am not telling you this to be a dick or 20/20 hindsight cunt.

I am telling you because being overconfident in your abilities to choose wisely and game were grievous mistakes.

[JJ Roberts]

That fact that you would still consider marriage tells me that you have not learnt the lesson.

[The Father]

(01-27-2015 02:46 PM)NKTexas Wrote:  

Hey everyone,

I dug up my old account here, registered in 2009, but barely posted anything at the time. I used to be in the so-called community and knew some of the lingo, and I read Roosh's blog every now and then (I also know him personally from when I lived in DC).

Well, long story short: I totally beta'ed out! :/

Here's how it went down. I met a girl who I thought was different from the much maligned American girl, at least in these circles. I fell in love, and so did she. It didn't matter that she already had one failed marriage and a five year old son (at the time). We were so in love, and thought that love conquered all. Yeah, I'll pause for a minute while you get your barf bags out.

Fast forward to a few months ago. I found out that she cheated on me and lied to me about it for a year and half. I was devastated and angry, of course. Then a mental war ensued in my head, debating whether to forgive her as long as she was remorseful and promised to repair our marriage, or getting a divorce. This lasted for 2-3 months. Lots of sleepless nights, tears, heart palpitations, panic attacks, constantly high on fight-vs-flight hormones. It was pure hell.

Then one morning, I woke up and asked myself whether I could ever trust her again. The answer was no, and it became very clear on what to do next.

I made the decision to file for divorce and move out as quickly as I could. We did sign a prenup in a community property state, so my retirement is protected and I'm also protected from her debts. We also have no kids together - so no child support, and we haven't been married long enough for alimony to get into the picture. I'm only 35, and I even look 30 according to people when I tell them my real age. We only have a house together, which we are going to put on the market soon. Sell n' split.

Now, I'm back to being single, living on my own. Again. I'm young enough to just pick up where I left off from before, but I'm not going to make the mistakes I made before.

I mean, I knew that marriage was a raw deal - but only intellectually. It seems that I had to really experience it for myself, to really understand what marriage - at least with the wrong person - is like. Being single and alone is better than being married and miserable.

For the next few years, at least, I'm going to meet women, not for dating or relationships, but only for casual fun and sex. I'm not ruling out getting married again, though. Never say never, because I've always wanted kids, too. But next time, I'm going to go about it MUCH differently than before.

Before I can ever consider marriage again, my inner game MUST be rock solid and indestructible. I am not at that point yet. Nowhere near that point. I don't know how long that will take, maybe a couple years, or maybe an entire lifetime.

And IF I decide I'm ready to marry again, I will only consider women of the same ethnic background as myself, and who values family above all else. It will be a traditional marriage as opposed to a Westernized love marriage.

But for now, I'm single. I'm free, and I intend to keep it that way for a while.

Your story sounds eerily familiar to mine. Don't feel bad about making a mistake, and ignore what other posters have said that you don't really know game: Your entire biology is constructed to be susceptible to falling for a woman, it is entirely chemical. It's natures way of tricking you into perpetuating the species. Even knowing all the risks, when you meet one who acts different, you WANT to believe it is real. Remember, this is what women excel at! You think the bible story about Adam and Eve is a real story about the origins of earth?? You think the fact that the woman deceives the man tricks/persuades him into doing something he knows he shouldn't do and which causes him untold pain is a coincidence? It is the wisdom of the ancients! Mankind knew 2,000 years ago the nature of women, and male-female relationships! The nature of women is to fool men into thinking good things about them, to impregnate them and to provide resources for their offspring, all the while the female is thinking about (and sometimes fucking!) other males. Remember, most things in life have symmetry: The most pleasure you can get from life often comes from a female. And accordingly, the worst damage to your life likewise often comes from the same place!

Nonetheless, you got out of this relatively unscathed. And considering the anti-male family court laws our society has, that is remarkable! CONGRATULATIONS!

It's easy to be down on your wife but remember - you picked her. You now have a PhD in how NOT to pick a wife. You'll use better judgment next time. So will I. Like you, I would like a REAL wife, and kids. Will I ever have it in this messed up society? Doubtful. But like alchemists of old, the prize is alluring enough that I am not embarrassed to say i'll keep trying. The difference is, I have become strong enough and happy enough on my own to be COMPLETELY content if I never find that unicorn. That is what you must do: realize that a good woman is not a paradise; it's just trading one set of problems (loneliness, a craving for a mate) for another (the myriad, mindless, bullshit issues that come with even the hottest, best woman on earth!).

Your life starts anew now. But your days aren't endless. MAKE EVERY NEW DAY COUNT!

[Travesty]

(01-27-2015 03:18 PM)JJ Roberts Wrote:  

That fact that you would still consider marriage tells me that you have not learnt the lesson.

Lots of guys throw out on RVF "good luck having a family and kids without getting married, chicks won't go for that".

Girls get pregnant all the time without being married it is false. There is no need to get married even if you want children. It is fear talking otherwise.

[Travesty]

(01-27-2015 03:18 PM)The Father Wrote:  

Your story sounds eerily familiar to mine. Don't feel bad about making a mistake, and ignore what other posters have said that you don't really know game: Your entire biology is constructed to be susceptible to falling for a woman, it is entirely chemical. It's natures way of tricking you into perpetuating the species. Even knowing all the risks, when you meet one who acts different, you WANT to believe it is real. Remember, this is what women excel at! You think the bible story about Adam and Eve is a real story about the origins of earth?? You think the fact that the woman deceives the man tricks/persuades him into doing something he knows he shouldn't do and which causes him untold pain is a coincidence? It is the wisdom of the ancients! Mankind knew 2,000 years ago the nature of women, and male-female relationships! The nature of women is to fool men into thinking good things about them, to impregnate them and to provide resources for their offspring, all the while the female is thinking about (and sometimes fucking!) other males. Remember, most things in life have symmetry: The most pleasure you can get from life often comes from a female. And accordingly, the worst damage to your life likewise often comes from the same place!

Nonetheless, you got out of this relatively unscathed. And considering the anti-male family court laws our society has, that is remarkable! CONGRATULATIONS!

It's easy to be down on your wife but remember - you picked her. You now have a PhD in how NOT to pick a wife. You'll use better judgment next time. So will I. Like you, I would like a REAL wife, and kids. Will I ever have it in this messed up society? Doubtful. But like alchemists of old, the prize is alluring enough that I am not embarrassed to say i'll keep trying. The difference is, I have become strong enough and happy enough on my own to be COMPLETELY content if I never find that unicorn. That is what you must do: realize that a good woman is not a paradise; it's just trading one set of problems (loneliness, a craving for a mate) for another (the myriad, mindless, bullshit issues that come with even the hottest, best woman on earth!).

Your life starts anew now. But your days aren't endless. MAKE EVERY NEW DAY COUNT!

I know I am much younger and less wise in life than you. I believe this is too coddling.

He deserves some shame for this happening. He ran into a burning building and got out alive. Great he is alive, was still a fool and needs that burned into his mind so nothing close to it happens again.

[The Father]

(01-27-2015 03:23 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

(01-27-2015 03:18 PM)JJ Roberts Wrote:  

That fact that you would still consider marriage tells me that you have not learnt the lesson.

Lots of guys throw out on RVF "good luck having a family and kids without getting married, chicks won't go for that".

Girls get pregnant all the time without being married it is false. There is no need to get married even if you want children. It is fear talking otherwise.

I don't agree that it is fear to want a NORMAL, HEALTHY female relationship. I agree that marriage today in the west is incredibly risky, and also that one with good game may able to persuade a woman that marriage is just a piece of paper.

[The Father]

(01-27-2015 03:26 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

I know I am much younger and less wise in life than you. I believe this is too coddling.

He deserves some shame for this happening. He ran into a burning building and got out alive. Great he is alive, was still a fool and needs that burned into his mind so nothing close to it happens again.

I dunno. I think everyman can benefit from being married once. If nothing else, it helps teach you how WONDERFUL it is to be a single man. I don't advise having kids until you figure out how it will all work out. And I DO recommend having a pre-nup -- marriage isn't supposed to be a charity. If giving away half your possessions is your goal, their are much more worthy charities than cupcake your ex-wife!

[Dr. Howard]

OP has to have one of the oldest accounts on here, that is amazing.

Before you congratulate yourself on the divorce, don't close your eyes until your property is completely separated and you have signed divorce papers. Check your six with this thread http://www.rooshvforum.network/thread-25781.html If you treat this whole thing with too much of a breezy attitude your ex will likely get weird and either try to reel you back in or drag you down if she's having a harder time dealing with it.

Keep that 'fight of flight' edge on for at least another year lest you fall back in or get blindsided.

[TheWastelander]

You must never let your emotions overrule your rational mind and what you know to be true. Never. Being "in love" is for women and children. It is a trick. You can love a woman or many women, but you must never be "in love" with them. As soon as you cross that line you cede power and control to them, the two things you should be hanging onto at all costs. You must be the Vito Corleone of love. Never honestly tell them what you're thinking or feeling. Don't be a robot, but as soon as a woman knows you're "in love" with her it's over.

And single mothers are often sociopathic leeches.

I have learned over the years, and through a great deal of pain, that to keep an even keel you have to murder your inner beta while at the same time making sure not to hang onto bitterness. Women are what women are. They are not like men. They are cunning as the devil, but they are also extremely simplistic. Game is necessary to enjoy your life and manage them as best you can, but it will only get you so far in this society.

Don't get married in America again. We have no checks and balances on female behavior anymore. They were the only things keeping husbands and wives together, but they're a thing of the past. Feminism has destroyed them all. Adapt to the new reality and explore other options.

[lovejoy]

No shame in it, just be glad it happened when you were 35, had no kids and can now date women in their 20's. There is no way to determine the woman you pick will work out longterm. You can do everything right, marry a virgin/low N count from a stable home, both parent still married etc. and still have all go bad when she goes batshit crazy at 40-45 entering menopause.

I manage to keep it together for 24 years before mine had an affair and I was single again at 56, I'm now 60. The dating pool for me is full of these insane 40 something women, remarriage? not a chance, it's like fishing...catch and release...

[ChazKGB]

His ex will call him in 3-6 month after the divorce months crying about how she made a huge mistake and she loves him.

[britchard]

At least you didn't lose much money... could have been a lot worse.

[Travesty]

(01-27-2015 03:37 PM)lovejoy Wrote:  

No shame in it...

No there is shame he was a member here and knew the routine. His actions are the primary reason why bitches act like they do. He's not a victim. He is the perpetrator.

All you youngsters out there: He got off fucking lucky - REALLY lucky. For the mistake he made he could have knocked her up and been hitched to her bitch ass for 18 years. Let alone if he stayed longer alimony.

Never get married to an older woman, a divorced woman, or a woman with child. Pump and dumps only.

You are begging the Devil to come around and backhand a few teeth out of your mouth.

[vinman]

From the start let women know in no uncertain terms that you're not looking to be a boyfriend, husband, surrogate daddy, or a sponsor for Save The Children. Keep it casual You're simply trying to "get your bearings" (bitches say find themselves). Learn them bitches, Son. And game on!

EDIT

And when you're asked about the ex keep your emotions neutral, or completely avoid the subject. The last thing you want is for a broad you have on the hook seeing you white knuckling the table, and turning purple because you're still pissed off.

[The Father]

(01-27-2015 03:39 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

No there is shame he was a member here and knew the routine. His actions are the primary reason why bitches act like they do. He's not a victim. He is the perpetrator.

Hardly. Our family court laws are the primary reason women act like they do, that and affirmative action and other hand-outs that take money from men and literally GIVE it to women. I suppose if you really wanted to find a cause, you could go back to women getting the vote. THAT was the mistake from which all other mistakes proceed!

[The Father]

(01-27-2015 03:42 PM)vinman Wrote:  

You're simply trying to "get your bearings" (bitches say find themselves). Learn them bitches, Son. And game on!

That's a great line because it says absolutely nothing yet sounds profound...therefore, women will love it!! The other line that is chick catnip is, whenever a woman asks about a former relationship, how it ended, how you feel about her now, etc etc, you just reply: "It's complicated". THAT'S WHAT THEY DO!

[Travesty]

(01-27-2015 03:44 PM)The Father Wrote:  

(01-27-2015 03:39 PM)Travesty444 Wrote:  

No there is shame he was a member here and knew the routine. His actions are the primary reason why bitches act like they do. He's not a victim. He is the perpetrator.

Hardly. Our family court laws are the primary reason women act like they do, that and affirmative action and other hand-outs that take money from men and literally GIVE it to women. I suppose if you really wanted to find a cause, you could go back to women getting the vote. THAT was the mistake from which all other mistakes proceed!

If he got married to a low N count girl that was 5 years younger, never married, never had a kid, and was family oriented with a great relationship with her parents I would feel sympathy and be more angry at the courts.

Even if the laws were entirely in favor of men she is still a horrific pick for a dating option any way you spin it. Older, divorced, kid.