[jay_penetratem]

I dont really post on here much because im always working but i browse everyday and contribute when i can.

Since taking the red pill what i have always suspected has become clear. Im 28 years old and i am slowly seeing myself become beta-ised by my current girlfriend with whom i have a child. Now i am faced with an ugly reality. Do i stay with her and "do the right thing" and adjust to my provider role? Or do i break out and become single, aggressively pursuing my goals while my youth and vitality are at the fullest. I would still support my child financially and provide her with limited financial support for herself until she goes back to work.

I was planning to leave her a year ago but she hit me with the c-bomb. She knew i had no wish to have another child due to my financial and life situation, but hey she forgot her contraception and here we are.

I already have another child with a previous woman and i dont really want to have two former partners with children. Also my first child knows my current partner well.

My main concern is the impact on the children mainly, however this is balanced by my desire to progress forward with my life without the passenger.

My girlfriend has stuck with me through many hard times and numerous in discretions however a part of me thinks that 10 years down the line she could "feel diffferently" or meet someone else and thats it im out of the picture. I know that if she decides to break up with me all the money ive spent trying to provide a comfortable life for us, the children and the things i have done for her wont count for shit, so a part of me is thinking do i just make the jump now at 28 and deal with the fall out rather than get shafted in my mid to late thirties.

Shes also pressuring me about marriage, and seeing that 7 out of 10 divorces are initiated by women, despite how i feel now about her at anytime she can walk away with the children and the house i am intending to buy.

Theres a lot more i could write, but the key thing is should i settle into my beta/provider role, get married and be the "good man" or just break out and be the "scoundrel" whilst continuing to support my children and see them weekly.

[lskdfjldsf]

Forget marriage, forget the women. Don't even think about those two things. Not as some form of manosphere or MGTOW protest, but because your child should be top priority in life.

It doesn't matter how "red pill" you are, leaving a child without a father figure when you're fully capable of filling that role is the surest way to set your children up for failure. Women, by themselves, are not good parents.

Teach, instruct, be a role model.

[jay_penetratem]

(11-03-2014 09:01 AM)Blick Mang Wrote:  

Forget marriage, forget the women. Don't even think about those two things. Not as some form of manosphere or MGTOW protest, but because your child should be top priority in life.

It doesn't matter how "red pill" you are, leaving a child without a father figure when you're fully capable of filling that role is the surest way to set your children up for failure. Women, by themselves, are not good parents.

Teach, instruct, be a role model.

Are you saying I should just stick with this one for the child? That is what I am most inclined to do.

[Mage]

Raising a child is not beta. Putting a woman on pedestal is beta.

Not caring for a child because " a part of me thinks that 10 years down the line she could "feel diffferently" or meet someone else" is just paranoid and a self fulfilling prophecy.

You have discovered the Game. Use it to raise your status in life, in your relationship and in the eyes of your child by being a parent to be proud of. Don't be a mere provider, teach your child Red Pill stuff and useful knowledge and become an authority to the child. Then even if your woman decides to betray your family your child will still on your side. But if she sees that your child adores you she will have a strong argument to remain faithful.

It's best to not start wars, but if you already find yourself in a war it's best to try to win instead of surrendering right at start.

[jay_penetratem]

(11-03-2014 09:14 AM)Mage Wrote:  

Raising a child is not beta. Putting a woman on pedestal is beta.

Not caring for a child because " a part of me thinks that 10 years down the line she could "feel diffferently" or meet someone else" is just paranoid and a self fulfilling prophecy.

You have discovered the Game. Use it to raise your status in life, in your relationship and in the eyes of your child by being a parent to be proud of. Don't be a mere provider, teach your child Red Pill stuff and useful knowledge and become an authority to the child. Then even if your woman decides to betray your family your child will still on your side. But if she sees that your child adores you she will have a strong argument to remain faithful.

It's best to not start wars, but if you already find yourself in a war it's best to try to win instead of surrendering right at start.

I'm definitely not putting her on a pedestal. I was planning to leave her before she suprised me with the "news". But yes I was wondering if staying with her for the child is the best way forward...

[Sawyer]

My dad stuck with my mom until I was a teen and he hated her. Every time he was home and had to be around her he was pissed off. That rubbed off on everything. So that was my role model. I learned that a man is someone who is pissed off at everyone and everything.

Believe it or not I was still pretty bummed when my parents divorced because all that shit was never resolved within the family as it should have been. My parents can't grow old together and work it out as old people do.

I'm anti-divorce in every respect. There shouldn't even be an option to divorce (not that you're married, but you get the gist). As long as the family is together there is a chance for resolution. And if there is no possibility of separation, a whole lot more care would be taken in choosing one's spouse, or mother of their children.

Basically, the stability of the institution of a marriage in a child's life (and I mean FOREVER) can cover up a lot of the instability generally of the imperfections of human relationships and their impact on a child's psychology. But it has to be forever.

So this is my advice: If you don't think you can stay with your girlfriend for the rest of your life, where you can grow old together and resolve to work it out together, get out now. Because if you're just going to spread negativity in your family (even if unwittingly) and then take off without resolution, it's worse than not being around at all.

Be either a happy and loving intermittent presence or be a realistic, (but permanent -- and I mean until dead) presence. Just do not let your annoyance with your girlfriend taint the child during its formative years and then ditch it.

[Mage]

Don't forget to test paternity.

If it's yours then remember then take care of your flesh and blood - at least that's what I would do.

Just always remember than being a benevolent alpha figure in home is more important for the child then your financial support. You still can and should progress forward in life. Diapers and baby food doesn't cost as much and in later age your example is more important to the success of your child then the money you spend on him/her.

Don't buy the trope that being a father means growing a belly and settling for a boring job. In fact you should still hit the gym and become a successful professional /entrepreneur so that your child would be proud of you. Your child will be happier if he sees you rarer but learns something from you every time he/she does. Sitting around and boring the child with your betaness is not what is good for anyone. Your child still needs to know that you haven't abandoned him trough.

[Dr. Howard]

OP.

You are with one woman and have kids, so likely if you plan on sticking it out you should lower 'sexual conquests' on your list of possible things to pour your energy into. My advice would be to not fret about your relationship and pour your 'red pill' energy into building, investing and protecting. Build a business or press hard into your work, take the results of that work and consult with a lawyer, extended family (brothers, uncles or father) on how to gift them those assets or have them manage them in trust so that if something does fall apart with your partner they can just hand those assets to you. Last, neglect your girlfriend and invest time with your kids. I have found that men and women switch off in their 'favourite' time with their children.

My wife and ex wife love the 'baby' stage and I hate it, they found parenting then less fun as the child became more cognitive. I really started enjoying my kids at age 4 and was even happier to be a father when they hit age 9....they become 'students' at that age and question the dogma of their mothers.

Overall, the less you worry about your happiness or sadness being dependent on your girlfriend, the more insulated you will be against the highs and lows that come from a relationship with a woman...and that aloofness with make her more attracted to you.

So again, I recommend setting aside a single man's conquest of notches and put your energy into building a life that is resistant to the divorce whims of a woman. Build a life where you really have no reliance on her, and maybe even hire a hot nanny.

[Duke Castile]

You shouldn't be making decisions out of fear.

"If I wife her up, what if she leaves me"

And other such phrases.

Make decisions based on what you want to do from the perspective of what will make you happy.

If you decide to stay with her, use the knowledge here to manage her.

The anatomy of female power orbits around a constant shit test to see what sort of man you are. Its something all women do, even the "good" ones.

As long as you like women you are stuck with them trying to betatize you.

[Veloce]

OP you're only providing two scenarios, both of which I think are bad ideas. There are doubtless several alternatives.

There's no reason for you to settle into any beta mindset whatsoever, and doing so will only guarantee the kind of future that you presently fear.

You can be a dominant head of household. I'm not sure where you got the notion that being a husband and father automatically makes you "beta". I think you've been reading too many manosphere comments sections; take that shit with a grain of salt man.

I would suggest not getting married of course. You can tell your girl specifically why, you don't need to shy away from any interaction with her, and the more honest you are with her the more she'll respect you.

If you settle into a submissive role where you're just "going through the motions", you will be miserable and she will resent you.

If you adopt a dominant role where you tell her, "Look, this is how it's going to be. I have zero incentives to get married to you" (watch her reaction with this one) tell her that if society was more supportive of men getting married that you'd do it in a heartbeat, but there are risks that she can't possibly fathom and if she REALLY cared about you, she would understand why you wouldn't want to get married (flip the script). Make it sound like you not getting married has nothing to do with her.

You tell her, "I want to be a good father to this child. I want to take care of you. I want this family. But I'm not going to legally sabotage myself with the outdated and dangerous institution of marriage."

Red pill isn't just about observing, it's about acting. By your post you seem far too invested in what the societal convention wants and what your girl wants. What do YOU want? What's the future that would make you happy?

Kind of a random anecdote, but in hospitality venues (hotels, bars, restaurants, nightclubs), the most successful businesses are the ones that had a very clear end product in mind. The more specific owners are able to get with what the product looks like, smells like, tastes like, the better chances are it'll be successful. When you have a crystal clear vision of the end product, you are able to work backwards and make it happen.

Do that with your relationship and your life. Get out of the mindset of what other people have planned for you; imagine the end product and work backwards.