I thought this might be a good time to describe how my participation in ROK and the Forum has benefitted me personally, just in one year. It is so easy to dwell on negative matters, and brood over one thing or another, that we forget just how much good comes of our being here. I wanted to share what I’ve learned and how I’ve grown.
I have two reasons for doing this. One, it is a way for me to express my gratitude to the other members here. Two, it is a way hopefully to draw attention to the fact that we are all constantly learning, growing, and developing, without even noticing it.
Despite all the firestorms and tornadoes of drama that go on in any healthy organization (like this one), the average member continues to put one foot in front of another every day, and to grow and develop as a man. This must constantly be kept in mind.
The routine and the ordinary recede into memory, because they are not as dramatic and as exciting as vituperation and drama; but we forget that most of life is composed of the routine and ordinary. Progress comes from patient, consistent application of laborious effort over time.
All right. Here is what RVF and ROK have taught me in just one year:
1. I have seen first-hand how a nascent internet business (ROK) has grown in readership and popularity. Businesses are like organisms. They germinate, sprout, and grow skyward. They require constant care and nurturing. The fact that an alternate site like ROK came out of nowhere, attracted enthusiastic and dedicated writers, and is able to churn out posts day in and day out is nothing short of incredible. Seeing this first hand has taught me a great deal.
2. I have learned how to navigate and operate a WordPress blog. Editing for ROK has forced me to learn WordPress. This has directly been relevant to me in my own personal business (law firm). My business started a new blog this year, and I’ve tried to apply what I’ve learned at ROK to my own business. Tagging, inserting hyperlinks, “ping backs” in articles, etc, etc. are among the little techniques that I’ve carried over into the law field.
3. Game improvement: Tinder & OkCupid. I had never before used Tinder or OK Cupid before joining the forum and reading the threads. My conversations with another member here helped me perfect some techniques for maximum benefit to me. I have learned specific techniques that have helped me greatly.
4. Writing improvement. Before starting writing for ROK last year, I had never really written before, other than job-related. The discovery that I could write things that (some) people liked was a personal revelation to me. It was an empowering feeling. At the same time, I learned to discipline my literary excesses, hopefully. I learned the dynamics of how the public responds to writing. By being forced to discipline and humble myself, I believe I grew as a man.
5. Meeting people. There are some fantastic people here. I have had the great luck to have made personal contact with a number of people here and at ROK. These contacts have been a source of knowledge, help, support, and entertainment throughout the year. I have also had the good luck to make contact with one or two other manosphere writers. Knowing you are not alone is a source of solace for those of us who are fighting the day-to-day struggles of life and work.
6. Social media. Before joining ROK, I have never used Twitter, or been a member of a forum. My experience with using Twitter and social media has helped me personally in my own professional work.
7. Learning about the media and the public. It has been an eye-opening experience to see how the dynamic plays out between a website and the public. I have seen first-hand how the psychology of crowds grows, flares up, and then burns out. For me, being at ROK is almost like having a front row seat to some kind of social experiment.
8. Social dynamics. Years ago, as a military officer, we always used to joke during a debrief after a field op how “comm was fucked up.” (Comm is jargon for “communication”). Well, guess what? Comm is also fucked up in the real world. Trying to communicate complex information with an electronic device is just plain hard. Why? Because internet forums are a bit different from regular "clubs" or "fraternities." With real person-to-person communication, there is body language and other devices that can be used to enhance communication. With the internet, there is only the glowing computer screen.
It may seem that there is a lot of drama, because that is only because on a forum, every member sees all the drama right in front of his eyes. With regular clubs, there's always the chance of avoiding it. It's important to remind ourselves of this.
Participating in an internet forum reminds us just how hard it is to convey information. Even when we think we’re being clear, we can misfire. The internet magnifies, distorts, and obfuscates. Even a well-intentioned joke can run off the rails, with unexpected consequences. Arguments on threads can degrade and derail. Seeing all this has taught me that it is important to be alert and aware of my speech and actions more. Remember World War I? Austria says something to Serbia. Russia says it will mobilize. Germany freaks and then mobilizes. Then France mobilizes. All these "mobilizations" can't be stopped once started. The result? Shit goes out of control fast.
9. Travel knowledge. There are some fantastic travel threads here. The Sicily thread, which comes to mind, was one that I got a lot out of. This is hard earned, real-world knowledge.
10. Explaining Cements Knowledge. I like to talk about things I'm interested in. I like to explain things. By writing about subjects I know something about, by explaining them, and by discussing them with you guys, I have helped my own awareness grow. It's almost like the old adage that teaching something helps you learn it. Well, that is so, so true. So, the act of writing posts here and on ROK has helped me firm up, cement, and crystallize my own knowledge (what little I do have).
These are just the things I can think of, off the top of my head. So, I want to thank everyone here at RVF for helping me learn and grow so much this past year. I am grateful to be here.
I appreciate it, and all of you.
I have two reasons for doing this. One, it is a way for me to express my gratitude to the other members here. Two, it is a way hopefully to draw attention to the fact that we are all constantly learning, growing, and developing, without even noticing it.
Despite all the firestorms and tornadoes of drama that go on in any healthy organization (like this one), the average member continues to put one foot in front of another every day, and to grow and develop as a man. This must constantly be kept in mind.
The routine and the ordinary recede into memory, because they are not as dramatic and as exciting as vituperation and drama; but we forget that most of life is composed of the routine and ordinary. Progress comes from patient, consistent application of laborious effort over time.
All right. Here is what RVF and ROK have taught me in just one year:
1. I have seen first-hand how a nascent internet business (ROK) has grown in readership and popularity. Businesses are like organisms. They germinate, sprout, and grow skyward. They require constant care and nurturing. The fact that an alternate site like ROK came out of nowhere, attracted enthusiastic and dedicated writers, and is able to churn out posts day in and day out is nothing short of incredible. Seeing this first hand has taught me a great deal.
2. I have learned how to navigate and operate a WordPress blog. Editing for ROK has forced me to learn WordPress. This has directly been relevant to me in my own personal business (law firm). My business started a new blog this year, and I’ve tried to apply what I’ve learned at ROK to my own business. Tagging, inserting hyperlinks, “ping backs” in articles, etc, etc. are among the little techniques that I’ve carried over into the law field.
3. Game improvement: Tinder & OkCupid. I had never before used Tinder or OK Cupid before joining the forum and reading the threads. My conversations with another member here helped me perfect some techniques for maximum benefit to me. I have learned specific techniques that have helped me greatly.
4. Writing improvement. Before starting writing for ROK last year, I had never really written before, other than job-related. The discovery that I could write things that (some) people liked was a personal revelation to me. It was an empowering feeling. At the same time, I learned to discipline my literary excesses, hopefully. I learned the dynamics of how the public responds to writing. By being forced to discipline and humble myself, I believe I grew as a man.
5. Meeting people. There are some fantastic people here. I have had the great luck to have made personal contact with a number of people here and at ROK. These contacts have been a source of knowledge, help, support, and entertainment throughout the year. I have also had the good luck to make contact with one or two other manosphere writers. Knowing you are not alone is a source of solace for those of us who are fighting the day-to-day struggles of life and work.
6. Social media. Before joining ROK, I have never used Twitter, or been a member of a forum. My experience with using Twitter and social media has helped me personally in my own professional work.
7. Learning about the media and the public. It has been an eye-opening experience to see how the dynamic plays out between a website and the public. I have seen first-hand how the psychology of crowds grows, flares up, and then burns out. For me, being at ROK is almost like having a front row seat to some kind of social experiment.
8. Social dynamics. Years ago, as a military officer, we always used to joke during a debrief after a field op how “comm was fucked up.” (Comm is jargon for “communication”). Well, guess what? Comm is also fucked up in the real world. Trying to communicate complex information with an electronic device is just plain hard. Why? Because internet forums are a bit different from regular "clubs" or "fraternities." With real person-to-person communication, there is body language and other devices that can be used to enhance communication. With the internet, there is only the glowing computer screen.
It may seem that there is a lot of drama, because that is only because on a forum, every member sees all the drama right in front of his eyes. With regular clubs, there's always the chance of avoiding it. It's important to remind ourselves of this.
Participating in an internet forum reminds us just how hard it is to convey information. Even when we think we’re being clear, we can misfire. The internet magnifies, distorts, and obfuscates. Even a well-intentioned joke can run off the rails, with unexpected consequences. Arguments on threads can degrade and derail. Seeing all this has taught me that it is important to be alert and aware of my speech and actions more. Remember World War I? Austria says something to Serbia. Russia says it will mobilize. Germany freaks and then mobilizes. Then France mobilizes. All these "mobilizations" can't be stopped once started. The result? Shit goes out of control fast.
9. Travel knowledge. There are some fantastic travel threads here. The Sicily thread, which comes to mind, was one that I got a lot out of. This is hard earned, real-world knowledge.
10. Explaining Cements Knowledge. I like to talk about things I'm interested in. I like to explain things. By writing about subjects I know something about, by explaining them, and by discussing them with you guys, I have helped my own awareness grow. It's almost like the old adage that teaching something helps you learn it. Well, that is so, so true. So, the act of writing posts here and on ROK has helped me firm up, cement, and crystallize my own knowledge (what little I do have).
These are just the things I can think of, off the top of my head. So, I want to thank everyone here at RVF for helping me learn and grow so much this past year. I am grateful to be here.
I appreciate it, and all of you.
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).