[lombo]

I have been able to get chicks to stop and pay attention to what i am saying with my openers.
But where I fail miserably, is what I do after that to keep their attention and get results.

Is it just me or does this happen with everyone?

Also what should I do in this case to improve my game?

[Gmac]

(03-18-2011 03:51 AM)lombo Wrote:  

I have been able to get chicks to stop and pay attention to what i am saying with my openers.
But where I fail miserably, is what I do after that to keep their attention and get results.

Is it just me or does this happen with everyone?

Also what should I do in this case to improve my game?

You need to learn to talk non-stop, whether it's small talk or stories, whatever makes you seem interesting. The only way to improve is practice, practice, practice.

[Excelsior]

Use your environment to help inspire you.

Let's say I'm in a frat basement, for example. After I've introduced myself and we've gone through basic pleasantries("what year are you?", etc, etc) I'll turn to observation to keep things going ("this place is going a bit wild tonight, isn't it?" *points to dude falling over at pong table*).

Again, its all contextual and you have to do it on the fly. Practice will make perfect, but once you get the hang of using your environment the skill will come in handy everywhere. You can use the weather, the cars on the street, the music, the people around you, etc-everything is a tool.

Also, look up "active listening". That's helpful to when it comes to building comfort.

[Tuthmosis]

I have to quote VK quoting someone else: you have be like a ninja, who can find 10 different things to kill a man in any room. A true gamer, like Athlone points out, must be--among other things--a master at situational game. That takes lots of practice.

I'm at the point where almost everything reminds me of an interesting or hilarious story.

[FretDancer]

(03-18-2011 11:58 AM)Tuthmosis Wrote:  

I have to quote VK quoting someone else: you have be like a ninja, who can find 10 different things to kill a man in any room. A true gamer, like Athlone points out, must be--among other things--a master at situational game. That takes lots of practice.

I'm at the point where almost everything reminds me of an interesting or hilarious story.

Indeed, but if after a certain amount of time you are still doing alot of the talk then you're probably not in a good position, you need to let her bring out more material, let her start doing the talking and you just need to sit back, listen, spit a comment here and there, and of course at the end, close properly.

[Excelsior]

(03-18-2011 12:24 PM)FretDancer Wrote:  

Indeed, but if after a certain amount of time you are still doing alot of the talk then you're probably not in a good position, you need to let her bring out more material, let her start doing the talking and you just need to sit back, listen, spit a comment here and there, and of course at the end, close properly.

Exactly. I mentioned active listening before, here is a link that talks more about it:

http://www.colorado.edu/conflict/peace/t...ctivel.htm

An active listener questions and analyzes with the intent of learning more about the speaker or, more importantly, getting the speaker to talk more about themselves. You listen carefully to the speaker's words, and then repeat them and/or try to interpret what they say often within the context of emotions/feelings.

Basically, the speaker does most of the talking, while the active listener uses interpretation as material to keep the speaker going.

It can be great for game. If you can get good at listening to a girl describe something and inferring via her tone/wording the emotions she associates with what she's saying, then you can question her on it and get her to talk more, driving the conversation forward. Like situational/environmental game mentioned above, this can be an endless goldmine. Even the most minute things a girl says can be interpreted if you can just listen closely to her tone/wording and try to interpret it, getting her to go into more detail about her life/feelings.

It works for you because she keeps talking while you sit back and just listen, and it works for her because if she is like most girls, she will enjoy talking about herself and her feelings.

Listen + interpret = win.

[gringochileno]

If she's not giving me anything to work with, usually an observation related to the current environment, a story, banter, or keep riffing for a little while on whatever the opener was about (although you need to change the subject pretty quickly to get into a "normal" conversation). If I'm really drawing a blank sometimes I'll stack another opener or opinion routine or whatever.

[stoney]

@ Gmac....keep up the blog, it is a strong start.

good luck!