[Fortis]

Sup Playas,

So, recently I've been running into variations of this shit test:

"Can we meet at (town,venue, w/e) instead of (original spot)?"

I'm not sure what to say to this one, but It's clearly a shit test. The difference in location is negligible, but it seems odd that this is a common thing i've been running into. This has happened at least 3 times.

Thanks guys

-Fortis

[kaotic]

Personally when a girl does that, I'll reframe it and counter with something else (location/venue). You never want her to set the location or venue. I also only usually meet up with girls near my pad or near my work. Never out near their area or in the middle.

I'd be interested to read what other guys would do. (This belongs in newbie section also )

[Fortis]

Hey mods,

Feel free to move this to the appropriate section.

Kaotic,

I retorted to her that the venue has a special beer I am fond of that I'd like for her to try.

What do you think of that?

[Saweeep]

I think it depends upon your interactions beforehand.

If you've not been congruently strong with your frame beforehand then you will need to counter with a third way.

If you have been congruent and this is a last minute shit test to check your frame then stay strong and insist on the original meet point.

[AlreadyGone]

Generally try to stick to going to original meet spot. Like @kaotic i try to meet near where I work or stay, and for the first time usually only at a coffee spot to get light convo and basic shit out the way before wasting money at a venue/restaurant/etc.

[kaotic]

I'd agree with Crash, how congruent have you been in your frame ?

What's the backstory of this girl ? Do you even know if she drinks beer ?

I agree with crash that if this is a LMR shit test, stick to your guns.

If it isn't and she's not down for your venue, counter for something more generic.

[Fortis]

met her on tinder. set up plans for yesterday, but I had to cancel. rescheduled for tody.

[MrXY]

It's not always a "shit test" -sometimes she has a good reason that she doesn't want to mention

I've had cases where the girl's friends or ex-boyfriends worked or hung out a the place I suggested and she didn't want to be seen with a new guy there. Or maybe she wants to meet in a different area because she has a boyfriend is is afraid she might be seen by someone she knows

If the venue she suggests is acceptable I would either go with it or suggest another option nearby

Yes, ideally you should set the venue. But I think guys get too wrapped up in date arrangement power struggles too much when ultimately they are not that important. What is important is getting her physically next to you and how you game her then. You can't bang her if you don't meet her, so do what you need to do (within reason) to get the meeting.

Many of the women I've banged in the last few years live in other cities and they knew I was driving quite a ways to see them, and yet they still had sex with me. Just last week I drove 90 miles to meet a first date and banged her that night. Don't worry about looking beta if you have to agree to her venue choice, just show up and act like you are the man and if won't matter

Of course, never let a woman set you up- "My friends might be there" or drag you to an expensive restaurant or make you chase her from venue to venue, just use common sense.

[Fortis]

MrXY,

is there anyway to differentiate, or should it just really not matter, as long as she's not trying to pull me insanely far out of my way?

[WilliamShatnersEgo]

Sun Tsu advises to never allow the enemy to dictate the terms it arena of engagement.

Don't give her room for disagreement. Simply don't tell her where you're taking her.

[MrXY]

(08-19-2014 12:58 PM)Fortis Wrote:  

MrXY,

is there anyway to differentiate, or should it just really not matter, as long as she's not trying to pull me insanely far out of my way?

Sometimes I have just texted her and asked why she didn't like the place I suggested and she told me. If you feel like you need really need to maintain control with her you might want to do that-if she doesn't give you a good reason just stick with your original place and see if she cancels or not.

Or just go with the place she suggested if it's acceptable to you

Try it both ways with different girls and see which works better for you