[Renzy]

Why didn't I stop to help a woman in need

Article about a guy who witnesses an argument between a couple in public, where it appears that the woman is trying to walk away but the man is blocking her way.

Quote:

The man, thickset and tall, stood over her and dominated the exchange. He merely had to shift his weight from side to side to ensure she had no means of escape. It was horrible to watch.

He considers stepping in to help/save the woman, but is afraid of getting hit.

Quote:

Even though I wanted to intervene, to say something, a larger portion of my brain was telling me that if were to step in, I’d be putting myself in immediate danger. Quite simply, my good samaritan instincts were being overridden by a fear that this guy, considerably bigger than me, was in just the sort of agitated state to make him inclined to knock me out with a swift blow.

He thinks about calling the cops, but his battery is dead.

Quote:

Of course, the sensible advice in such situations is for someone in my position to call the police, or to at least alert somebody in authority or seek advice from a hotline. But my phone battery was drained.

He concludes the article by wondering if his reluctance to step in makes him less of a man.

Quote:

Perhaps it's all the inevitable result of men's roles and outlooks changing over the past generation or so. We're more emotional, more feminist, less sexist, but consequently less chivalrous, less likely to step in a help a woman in need. Does all this make me less of a man? Or does it, at least by today's standards, make me a typical man?

---------

The article itself isn't so interesting to me, it's the comments in response to the article- it's clear men are getting pretty sick of the idea that they are expected to put themselves in harms way on behalf of women.

Here's some of the reader's responses to the idea on whether men should step in when they witness an altercation between a couple:

Quote:

Feminism likes to tell everyone that men are oppressors, that we have default setting of rapist, that the risk of assault for men is but nothing and that domestic violence is a gender issue so as to deny protection for men.

In those circumstances don't expect me to subject myself to violence when convenient to you.

Quote:

Most women are more then capable of looking after themselves. And you do not know the back story. Maybe she slept with his brother, prevents him from seeing his kids after a divorce or done something else awful? I have seen some women do some awful things to guys and cry crocodile tears in bars and clubs to get them beaten up or arrested. I would walk away. ..unless I stumbled upon a mugging or something worse...then I will intervene.

Quote:

A friend did the honorable thing and stepped in to rescue a lady in distress.......only to be set upon by the nice chap AND lady friend. She did not thank him for the help - unless a kick in the balls is now considered good manners.

Quote:

You complain that "no-one did anything". What you mean of course is that no man stepped in and placed himself in the middle of violence that the woman very well may have provoked.

Provoking men beyond endurance is a basic female tactic and old as time. Fact is that women love violent men and often go out of their way to provoke them because they love the drama. And they go back to these men again and again - because they are attracted to them.

Often this will happen in public so some other poor sap steps in.
And how many men have been stabbed or battered to death with the female words "Are you going to let him treat me like that" ringing in their ears?

Quote:

Perhaps when women clear out feminism of the more hateful proponents of that philosophy I'll return to the traditional roll of male protector.

It isn't my job to do that.

Until that time comes I'll do my bit to undermine the patriarchal gender roll of protective chivalrous male by refusing to put myself in harm's way for the benefit of some woman I don't know.

[Brodiaga]

I just thought about this subject earlier today. Would I ever fight to help a woman if another man threatened her? Only if she's my woman or a woman close to me, like my mother. If it's somebody I don't know, I definitely wouldn't fight anybody to help her, but I would call the police if the problem was serious enough.

Another warning is about interfering in couples' fights and arguments. The bitch you save from being beaten up by her bf or husband will then call the cops on you and tell them you attacked both of them. No, I've never had this problem, but I heard about it from other guys and learned from their mistakes.

[Walderschmidt]

It's stuff like this that shows the dissolution of the sense of community that once contributed to making the West great. Now everyone's slowly becoming more tribal, because increasingly family members are the only ones you can trust. And then sometimes, not even them!

Wald

[Duke Castile]

Those comments warm my heart.

[MikeCF]

He made the right decision. White knighting is bad for your health.

If it were obviously rape or something, I would kick the guy in the head.

If it's domestic violence, that is her choice and only a fool would step in.

[Quintus Curtius]

The "Good Samaritan Rule" (that is, the idea that a random stranger should come to the aid of a damsel in distress) was created at a time when society was very different than it is now. It was predicated on a code of ethics based on chivalry. And that code has been destroyed (at women's insistence).

Women can't have it both ways. You can't invoke the Good Samaritan rule when you're in trouble, and expect a white knight to come running to your defense, and at the same time treat that white knight like shit when things are good in your life. Chivalry required responsibility and duties from both men and women. And that code is as dead as dead can be.

So it doesn't surprise me that women are now reaping the results of what they've chosen to value. Expect more callous, unfeeling behavior from men. Expect more unwillingness to get involved in any way to help female strangers. Hell, even helping an old lady across the street these days would probably get you labeled as a potential rapist.

Actions have consequences. Women don't understand that, because for them life is like the random flittings of a butterfly, floating from one place to the next, without accountability, responsibility, or conscience.

[Azriel Odin]

We don't have the pre-requisite sense of community anymore to warrant stepping in and helping a woman that you don't know. In a different age, when society was focused in small communities, it would be a different ball game.

But these days, i'm not stepping in to help a woman unless she is a close friend or a family member.

[MdWanderer]

White Knighting is by far the biggest ally to feminism and does more to weaken the American man than any feminist could. It's hard for men to stand up for themselves against women when they know that their fellow man will swoop in at a moments notice and take her side, no matter how bitchy she gets. I've lost multiple times in the court of public opinion at work merely arguing with a woman being a total hag, let alone physically striking her.

With that being said without veering too much off of topic, I would step in only in cases of rape or robbery (and that's if I had the means to do it, not going up against anyone with a gun) but cases of domestic violence I look the other way (which I have, witnessed this redneck couple at my old job smacking each other in the big fridgerato r at this old restaurant I worked at, just went on about my business. )

[Rutting Elephant]

(08-05-2014 09:45 PM)Quintus Curtius Wrote:  

Hell, even helping an old lady across the street these days would probably get you labeled as a potential rapist.

Also, kids. Never try to help a kid. My brother tried to talk to a little boy wandering around looking lost at a fairground only to have the mother swoop in and accuse him of being a predator.

[MdWanderer]

(08-05-2014 09:45 PM)Quintus Curtius Wrote:  

Women can't have it both ways. You can't invoke the Good Samaritan rule when you're in trouble, and expect a white knight to come running to your defense, and at the same time treat that white knight like shit when things are good in your life. Chivalry required responsibility and duties from both men and women. And that code is as dead as dead can be.

Funny you say that. Had a friend from work call me out once at a restaurant not letting the ladies at our table order first (despite the waiter coming to me, accused me for being rude). Few months later, gets accused of rape by one of those women that was there with us that night, and is about to lose his job and might go to jail (where he'll surely get the favor returned).

[Walderschmidt]

(08-05-2014 10:19 PM)MdWanderer Wrote:  

(08-05-2014 09:45 PM)Quintus Curtius Wrote:  

Women can't have it both ways. You can't invoke the Good Samaritan rule when you're in trouble, and expect a white knight to come running to your defense, and at the same time treat that white knight like shit when things are good in your life. Chivalry required responsibility and duties from both men and women. And that code is as dead as dead can be.

Funny you say that. Had a friend from work call me out once at a restaurant not letting the ladies at our table order first (despite the waiter coming to me, accused me for being rude). Few months later, gets accused of rape by one of those women that was there with us that night, and is about to lose his job and might go to jail (where he'll surely get the favor returned).

I think Black-knight is good for your health. If women see you're black knighting, they'll be less likely to screw you over if they think you'll actually fight back instead of roll over like white knights.

Wald

[samsamsam]

(08-05-2014 10:03 PM)Rutting Elephant Wrote:  

(08-05-2014 09:45 PM)Quintus Curtius Wrote:  

Hell, even helping an old lady across the street these days would probably get you labeled as a potential rapist.

Also, kids. Never try to help a kid. My brother tried to talk to a little boy wandering around looking lost at a fairground only to have the mother swoop in and accuse him of being a predator.

WTF? Good fucking god...

[NiceNEasy]

Words are not stones. Physical violence, on the other hand, deems action. If that were the case, I will make my presence known, by any means necessary. Man, woman, child, blue-colored alien, doesn't matter.

[samsamsam]

(08-05-2014 10:19 PM)MdWanderer Wrote:  

Funny you say that. Had a friend from work call me out once at a restaurant not letting the ladies at our table order first (despite the waiter coming to me, accused me for being rude). Few months later, gets accused of rape by one of those women that was there with us that night, and is about to lose his job and might go to jail (where he'll surely get the favor returned).

Is he much of a friend if you are certain he will get raped? Or was he just an acquaintance?

[MdWanderer]

(08-05-2014 10:27 PM)samsamsam Wrote:  

(08-05-2014 10:19 PM)MdWanderer Wrote:  

Funny you say that. Had a friend from work call me out once at a restaurant not letting the ladies at our table order first (despite the waiter coming to me, accused me for being rude). Few months later, gets accused of rape by one of those women that was there with us that night, and is about to lose his job and might go to jail (where he'll surely get the favor returned).

Is he much of a friend if you are certain he will get raped? Or was he just an acquaintance?

I hung out with him a lot but we keep minimal contact. I'm not advocating his demise, just acknowledging the screwed up dynamics of the situation.

[Sebastian]

He is beating the hell out of her. You step in to save her. He throws punch at you. You start beating him as a defense move. Now she is yelling at you to save him. When the cop comes, do you think she will tell the truth or lie to save her bf? Common sense.

[El Chinito loco]

Helping strangers out only makes sense if you live in a highly collectivist society where the social contract hasn't been broken repeatedly and trust is high. Small and mid sized towns in Japan and perhaps some more rural countryside villages in Europe are an example. It makes no rational sense to help strangers out in most places in the world.

[Sebastian]

Oh i remember i was choke holding this guy on a grass by my store who was trying to break into my store at night. One car stopped and just kept looking at us. I mean he was just observing calmly, didnt even say 'hey whats going on???'I had to yelle at him several times 'please call the cops, please' in a begging way.

[Suits]

When men objected to women moving free about the female sphere without an escort, they were vilified as sexist and old-fashioned.

Now men are supposed to feel bad for not defending women they don't know the first thing about at great personal risk to their own well-being?

Forget it.

[weambulance]

(08-05-2014 10:03 PM)Rutting Elephant Wrote:  

(08-05-2014 09:45 PM)Quintus Curtius Wrote:  

Hell, even helping an old lady across the street these days would probably get you labeled as a potential rapist.

Also, kids. Never try to help a kid. My brother tried to talk to a little boy wandering around looking lost at a fairground only to have the mother swoop in and accuse him of being a predator.

+1

Couple years ago I was leaving a store and this little girl, maybe 3-4, ran out the door ahead of me into the parking lot and was heading for traffic. I was yelling for her mom and trying to shepherd the girl back to her and all I got was the mom running up like I was a psycho trying to steal her kid. She gave me a death glare, rushed the girl away, and didn't even say thanks.

What a cunt.

I would still save a kid from imminent harm--I'm not going to let some innocent kid get run over just because his parent is a douche--but for anything less than that I'm not getting involved beyond maybe calling a cop or security guard over if the kid is really freaking out.

[MikeCF]

(08-05-2014 10:25 PM)NiceNEasy Wrote:  

Words are not stones. Physical violence, on the other hand, deems action. If that were the case, I will make my presence known, by any means necessary. Man, woman, child, blue-colored alien, doesn't matter.

Hope you don't get stabbed, as the woman you save may likely leave you to die:

http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2...omele.html

[Dusty]

I use to be a "gentleman" and let women go in front of me to get on the bus, or help lift a heavy bag into the overhead bin, but not any more with this feminist shit, and women trying to be like men. They can't have it both ways, and I don't enjoy being a chump.

(I still help old ladies though).

[NiceNEasy]

(08-05-2014 11:29 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

(08-05-2014 10:25 PM)NiceNEasy Wrote:  

Words are not stones. Physical violence, on the other hand, deems action. If that were the case, I will make my presence known, by any means necessary. Man, woman, child, blue-colored alien, doesn't matter.

Hope you don't get stabbed, as the woman you save may likely leave you to die:

http://www.syracuse.com/news/index.ssf/2...omele.html

That's a great point Mike and very true. One must always be ready to deal with the consequences of their actions. I do my best not to make statements lightly (that is without considering the possible outcomes).

[StrikeBack]

I'm not helping any random woman regardless of situation. With the modern cunts, no good deep goes unpunished.

There are enough white knight suckers around. Let them get the punishment.

[svenski7]

(08-05-2014 09:45 PM)Quintus Curtius Wrote:  

The "Good Samaritan Rule" (that is, the idea that a random stranger should come to the aid of a damsel in distress) was created at a time when society was very different than it is now. It was predicated on a code of ethics based on chivalry. And that code has been destroyed (at women's insistence).

This reminds me years ago when I did a month-long student exchange in Germany. We were reading Max Frisch's Andorra and discussing Nazism (of course) and a man's moral duty.

It came time for presentations of a philosophical aspect of the book and I decided to focus on the question, "Are we obliged to help our neighbor in desperate need?"

I managed to dig up some text on a few old Good Samaritan Laws around the world that protected Good Samaritans who act out of good faith. For example, if you are drowning in the surf and I drag you to the beach and perform CPR and yet you still die -- I am not criminally liable even if I pushed too hard or in the wrong place on your chest and accidentally broke one of your ribs.

More interesting were a few laws I found that stated that it would be criminal NOT to help someone in a similar life-and-death situation. I found one such German law and the professor just about had a fucking cow. He did not want to hear it. He was not responsible for helping someone who was having a heart attack or drowning in the sea. Nein nein nein!

Since the classroom was full of exchange students (there was only one other German besides the professor), it was interesting to watch their reaction to the idea that, yes, you have a responsibility in these situations. The Slavs and Mediterranean Europeans were receptive and nodding their heads. The Anglo and Germanic students did not give one shit.

Now that was all back in the days that I felt strongly about that and was disturbed by the negative reactions. Traveling the world and experiencing or hearing about fucked up shit makes you a much more guarded person.

To pull this all back to OP -- I've been able to take the reactions of the different nationalities in that classroom to the bank in the many years of travel since that presentation. Seeing the laid-back style of Southern Europeans or the warmhearted generosity of the Eastern Europeans tempered by the detached, don't-interrupt-me-and-my-Starbucks persona of the Germanic tribes.

If you travel, take this a bit further than imagining some guy slapping his wife at Wal-Mart in Alabama. Would you get between an Asian couple? A jacked Russian dude? Freelove hippies in Denmark? If you do, don't expect them to feel the same way about your "Good Action" as you do.