[Lucky]

This book was recommended to me by a mentor. A few weeks ago we talked about the topic of networking and he could tell I needed a crash course on the subject especially with what I’m currently trying to do. While he was giving me pointers mentioned this book and a couple of others.

Keith Ferrazzi, the author of this book is a master of networking, or as he calls it, “building relationships.” He’s been the CEO of several companies and now runs his own company, been named one of the top forty under forty, and his methods are taught at many MBA programs. The purpose of the book is to help you create a networking strategy, how to connect with others who can help you, how to use your network to meet even more people who can help, how to use your network to achieve your goals, and how to stand out in your network and provide value to them. I’ll divide this summary into the different sections of the book.

This will contain what I found to be the most valuable advice; there is plenty left out that can be used that is found in the book.

Section 1

The book begins by describing the current economic reality. Companies are no longer loyal to their people and people are no longer loyal to their companies. “Lifetime corporate employment is dead.” However, your network can afford you the same loyalty that was once offered by organizations. If you’re out of a job you won’t panic nearly as much if you know you can call someone and have an interview lined up. If you need anything at all, whether it be money, advice, a job, you can find it in your network; in the relationships you’ve built.

Ferrazzi says the key to success is generosity. Not being generous, but also not being afraid to ask for generosity. He mentions how he gets irked when he hears young people tell him “I’m sorry I can’t accept your offer because I’m not sure I’ll be able to repay you.” Give when you can, and don’t refuse to accept someone else’s largess. Help them when you can but if don’t be afraid to let them help you. Be generous to others and they will be loyal to you.

One thing that really stood out to me was his philosophy that it never hurts to ask and that boldness often works in one’s favor. This actually reminded me of game. At one point Ferrazzi even compares audacity in networking to “dating.” He mentions that to this day whenever he calls or reaches out to someone he doesn’t know, he has some fear of rejection, but the important thing is to do it anyway. Nothing creates opportunities like having a willingness to ask.

Ferrazzi writes, “Either I ask or I’m not successful. That fear always overrides my anxiety about rejection or being embarrassed.”

I don't know about you but I've thought many a time "Either I approach or I'm not getting laid." Same principle.

Section 2

Find the people who can help you achieve your goals and reach out. Do your homework about the people, search their names online and find out what you can about them. Ferrazzi calls this “warm calling.” Don’t be afraid to bring this up when meeting the person. When reaching out, mention a mutual friend or acquaintance, or the value you can add to their lives. Frequently these people will not return calls or messages. Don’t let that discourage you; continue to call and write and when they finally do respond, don’t act annoyed. Don’t make it uncomfortable for the person you’re connecting with.

Rules of warm calling:

1. Convey credibility
2. State your value proposition
3. Impart urgency and convenience- be prepared to do what it takes to meet with the person
4. Be prepared to compromise

Always follow up with a thank you note. Doing this will put you above the crowd. And after connecting with someone, always be sure to follow up. Following up within 24 hours is key, so send an email as soon as you can after having met someone and receiving their contact info. Be sure to stay on their radar and send monthly follow ups to stay in touch.

What to include in follow ups

-Express gratitude
-Include item of interest (mutual interest, a joke from conversation)
-Reaffirm commitments you have made
-Be brief and to the point
-Address person by name
-Use email AND snail mail
-Send it as soon as possible
-Thank those who have set you up with the person

If you can find one person who has many contacts and can build a relationship with them, you will have a huge advantage. If this person can vouch for you and introduce you to other people, you will have a door open to many opportunities.

8 Professions of Super-Connectors

1. Restaurateurs- Make a point of becoming a regular, meeting the staff, and get to know the owner and he might open his list of contacts to you
2. Headhunters
3. Lobbyists-
4. Fund-raisers- People who raise money for others are usually connected to important people
5. PR people
6. Politicians
7. Journalists- these people aren’t very difficult to get in contact with. I sent out a couple of emails the other day and within an hour they responded.
8. Authors, bloggers, gurus- No brainer here.

There is a chapter about small talk and how important it is. Honestly, I think any guy who can learn game should be proficient in small talk. Buy Day Bang and learn the art of the ramble and how to drop bait. That book is a great conversationalist’s manual. The most important point in the chapter is to be the first to say hello in a situation where you want to meet new people to add to your network. Don’t stand around like the herb at a night club. Take the initiative. Ask them questions about themselves, pay attention, and remember their names and use it. Ferrazzi pays his dues to Dale Carnegie in this chapter. (by the way a great review of How to Win Friends and Influence people was posted on this forum)

Section 3

The only way to get people to do something is to make them feel important. Every person’s deepest desire is to be recognized and liked. If you can make a person feel that, you are in. The chapter “Health, Wealth, and Children” claims that those are the three most important topics to people. If you can add value or advice about any of those things, you engender loyalty.

Real power comes from being indispensable. Help someone else by using your network to connect them and you will develop even more relationships that you can later use for your own goals. You gain influence when you parcel out contacts, information, and goodwill to others.

Pinging

“You have to feed the fire of your network or it will wither and die.”

You have to stay on people’s radar if you’re going to need them later. Send them monthly emails, forward articles that might interest them, call on their birthday. I’ve already used the birthday advice to great result. An example he gives of staying in contact when pressed for time:

“Hi, X. Just landed in Y and it made me think of you. No time to meet this trip but I just wanted to touch base.”

Easy way to maintain a relationship. Using the book’s outline, I’ve sent out emails asking people for basic advice or other things I could easily find myself, but by asking I’m able to stay in their thoughts. I’ve also used the “value-added ping” where I forward relevant articles, but do so only sparingly.

Sections 4 & 5

The book goes on to give guidance on the topic of social media, becoming the “king of content,” internet marketing, and so on. There is some useful stuff here, and it is very interesting, especially for people with a strong online presence, but I was not quite as interested in this advice so I’ll just note a few things that stood out to me.

Many people want to start a blog or a website, but don’t know what to write about. The question you should ask yourself is, “How can I be helpful to other people?” What do other people need, and how can you write about it in a way that is interesting?

Ferrazzi talks about the importance of candor and authenticity in building an audience. I think the popularity of Return of Kings has more than demonstrated this.

The importance of being interesting

He writes about how he’ll often give a speech at a college and a kid will approach him and say he really enjoyed the speech. Ferrazzi will ask the kid what he liked about it and the kid will flounder and not have much to say.

He goes on to talk about the famous Airport Question. All else being equal between two individuals “If I were trapped in a metropolitan airport for a few hours, would I want to spend it with this person?” Develop yourself, expand your interests, learn to tell a story and have a point of view.

There is so much more practical advice including how to best approach celebrities, how to connect with journalists, and how joining clubs and organizations can connect you. It actually made me think that maybe this forum should have more big meet-ups in both Europe and the States. We in the Red Pill community do so much good for each other already, and we can always help each other out more.

I’ve used many of the techniques in the book to with great results. I came away with this book both wanting to help and reaching out to others who can help me. Strongly recommended.

A quote from the book that sums it up quite nicely: “Autonomy is a life vest made out of sand.”

[scorpion]

Great review. I have heard good things about this book from a few successful people I've run into over the years. I've long believed that being able to network effectively and maintain a large number of personal relationships is the most powerful skill anyone can possess, but I've never been great at it myself (just more of a loner personality, I tend to let relationships drift apart). The parallel between game and networking is sort of obvious when you think about it, but I've never really looked at it that way before (in terms of approaching to form network relationships and having nothing to lose). Theoretically, there is no reason that a man with a small or no network could not build an impressive network of contacts within a few years. We know that game works. This is just a different type of game, one that everyone here would benefit from practicing.

[Lucky]

Scorpion,

You bring up an interesting point about any man being able to build an impressive network of contacts if he put the work in. I hadn't made the connection between game and networking until reading the book and realizing that it consists of the same basic principles. Skillfully approaching a person who you believe has value (whether it be a hot chick or a man who can connect you with the right people) and persuading them to accept your proposition.

Like you, I also have a more loner personality type. I'm definitely not a natural in the social skills department, though early on I learned I could fake it long enough to get people to like me. I love being around people but it can be exhausting; I've read this is the mark of an introvert.

[Fighting888]

Good post.

I'll check out the book.

Thanks.

[Lucky]

I had only one complaint about this book; there were too many mistakes and typos. This has nothing to do with the content itself but after the second or third error some part of me couldn't help but take some of the advice with a grain of salt.

On page 107:

"Take Kickstarter, the most well-known site. Kicktstarter focuses on launching specific business projects, not general fund-raising."

On page 91 Ferrazzi writes:

"There's no excuse for poor spelling and grammar...I still get people e-mailing "Keith Ferazzi" with one "r." I know you'll do better."

Then he doesn't "do better" on page 123 when he misspells the name of Susan Caine, author of Quiet twice, spelling it Susan Cain without the "e."

Next, on page 222:

"In curating my stream, I've shaped what Taylor Cowen, a top economics blogger and author calls "the daily self-assembly of synthetic experiences."

Both Susan Caine and Tyler Cowen have names easier to spell than Keith Ferrazzi yet he notes that he is irked when his name is misspelled.

On page 337:

"Little did I know then that that one Times article would provide me with one of the more painful and useful lessons of my life."

Note the second "that."

These are minor errors that like I said before have nothing to do with the great content of the book, I just hate seeing typos in a professionally published piece. I don't know who to point these errors out to, the publisher? I found fewer typos in Poosy Paradise (only one). I'll post a review of that soon.

[christpuncher]

"That that" is correct in this instance...

Sounds like an interesting book I will definitely check it out.

[Lucky]

I hadn't noticed before and you're right. That is an odd aspect of the English language.

I knew that that would someday curse me.

[LeBeau]

Quality summary that I missed the first time it was posted.

+1 overdue rep from me.