[Goneped]

Hey guys im new here, anyways got broken up with the day after my 1st year anniv. which was after valentines day. We have been on and off. She basically sent me a email telling me how i don't know how to treat a lady and what i have done wrong and what not and telling one of my close friends she wants to be single and has moved on. Her friends were a huge influence on this decision. I did treat her badly this past couple of weeks but she was so stubborn to ignore me and hang up when i tried communicating with her. Basically shes off hanging with other guys and i cant help since i have that strong attachment with her. What can i do fellas? Go straight No contact on her? It worked once i just don't know what to do as of now. Need some advice or help and i know i am living my life meeting new people but its not the place to just go find a new girl just like that when you guys obviously know what my goal is.

[MiXX]

Your goal should be to man-up, and go get laid with a much finer female. WTF??

You sound like a complete wuss, and this is why she does not respect you or even desire you. If you are going to treat a woman badly, accept that you did and move on.

Not trying to dis you, but sounds like you need a full-force gut check man!!

[Tuthmosis]

(03-06-2011 01:16 PM)Goneped Wrote:  

I did treat her badly this past couple of weeks but she was so stubborn to ignore me and hang up when i tried communicating with her. Basically shes off hanging with other guys and i cant help since i have that strong attachment with her.

It sounds like your first instinct, "to treat her badly," was spot-on. That shit of "hanging with other guys" is beyond your boundaries (and most of ours, for a bona-fide girlfriend anyway). It's amazing what "liberated" chicks will try to get away with and still expect the same treatment.

It's obvious your manly instinct kicked in first--trying to put the kibosh on some inappropriate behavior--and then your pansy-ass, socialized, emaculated side, that today's feminized society forces upon real men reared its ugly head. You did the right thing and she didn't like it. If you'd done it completely right, in an unwavering manly state, you might have been able to keep her while putting the smack down.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on the true quality of this chick) you didn't. Move on and get yourself right.

[Goneped]

So a week of arguments and trying to resolve things considers me as a pansy? I'm a little boggled, did i mention she was not just a fling but a 1 year commitment? Her excuses to me feel as just so she doesn't feel guilty about saying she wants to be single.

[Tuthmosis]

(03-06-2011 02:47 PM)Goneped Wrote:  

So a week of arguments and trying to resolve things considers me as a pansy? I'm a little boggled, did i mention she was not just a fling but a 1 year commitment? Her excuses to me feel as just so she doesn't feel guilty about saying she wants to be single.

I don't think anyone here is going to, or would want to, debate with you whether you're inherently a "pansy" or not. That's up to you to decide.

But what I can tell you is that guys on here have an extremely keen sense for detecting when a guy is coming from a beta or disadvantaged or emasculated position--even from the tiniest clues. That comes from either having been one of those guys once upon a time or simply dealing in this world for, literally, years.

Your message contains a lot of subtle signals that tells me (and probably others, like Mixx, who's the resident expert in this and other areas) that:

1. You're inexperienced. This is your first or one of your first "real" girlfriends.

2. This girl is eating your lunch or at least runs the show. She's probably cute, but not hot, and you once felt "lucky" for having scored her. Her friends think this too and have been working against you since day one.

3. This girl has lost respect for you because you didn't keep your manly frame, or never had one to begin with. She liked you because she was young and young girls "go with their heart" a lot more. Now, a year later, she realizes how good-looking she is and she's ready to cash in on that shit.

4. You did the right thing by checking her, but immediately second-guessed yourself, worsening #2 and #3.

These are guesses, of course, but I'm sure they're pretty close to the truth. If you came here looking for honesty, you got it. If you were looking for validation or something else, I'm afraid you've come to wrong place.

[BR88]

Your best bet is to cut off ALL contact. Remove her from Facebook, don't text her, call her, or talk to her friends.

Nothing you can say at this point will get her back. But if you IGNORE her and go out to have a good time, she might hear through the grapevine and start to be attracted to you again.

The paradox is that by the time she wants you back, you won't want to go back to her because you'll have something else going on.

[thegmanifesto]

Ha. Tough love on here from Mixx and Tuthmosis.

Goneped-

Yeah, you are not going to get a lot of sympathy here if you come with the "how do I get my girlfriend back" type posts. Especially the way you wrote yours.

Like Tuthmosis said, "But what I can tell you is that guys on here have an extremely keen sense for detecting when a guy is coming from a beta or disadvantaged or emasculated position--even from the tiniest clues. That comes from either having been one of those guys once upon a time or simply dealing in this world for, literally, years. "

That being said, they gave you great advice.

Basically, you got dropped heavy with a one-two.

It is up to you whether or not you are going to get up and fight again. Or stay down.

You should already know what my advice would be.

[Screwston]

(03-06-2011 02:47 PM)Goneped Wrote:  

Her excuses to me feel as just so she doesn't feel guilty about saying she wants to be single.

Why would u want to be with someone like this? You're going to look real desperate if u try to go crawling back

[Goneped]

Yea im better off, i much stronger emotionally and physically and found out i have a lot of options in my hands, stupid for me to dwell on such a thing. Thanks guys, did need the criticism to toughen up.

[Gmac]

I once found out a gf of mine was cheating in college and deleted her entire myspace. This was back before anyone used facebook... she was irate, good times.

[thegmanifesto]

"Yea im better off, i much stronger emotionally and physically and found out i have a lot of options in my hands, stupid for me to dwell on such a thing. Thanks guys, did need the criticism to toughen up."

And another kid gets rescued from the life of the weesh.

Courtesy of rooshvforum.network.

[benmarvin]

Completely ignore her for 2-3 weeks. Cut her the fuck off, no contact. Go out and bang 10 other sluts that are hotter than her. See how you feel about her after that. If she comes crawling back, most likely you'll be over it by then.

[visceralbliss]

Ditto for the "bang other chicks" advice. Just do it.

Ditto for the no-contact and wait-3-weeks advice.

Check out this perspective real quick:
http://roissy.wordpress.com/2007/04/10/h...irlfriend/

I KID YOU NOT, this was a life-changer and a life-saver!

It didn't work as intended for one ex, the FIRST time I heard of this. But I could see it messed with her head since my behavior completely changed for the better after she broke up with me, but by then she was completely over it.

Now since I mastered the advice mentioned in the above linked article, I've kept every girl around that I wanted to keep and broke up with the others.