[leisim98]

Hi This is my first post but I am a long time reader of Rooshv.com and returnofkings. So I'm 30 and been in the game for 6months with I think amazing success. I'm coming out of a 5year ltr - I know epic fail. And have got heavy into tinder - I know epic fail again. But I'm finally getting over that despite good success with tinder and getting back into bars also with great success at the moment, I want to give daygame a go too soon. I've got a 4 girl soft harem going all girls between HB6-7. I'm quite enjoying the rotation but obviously would like to improve the quality and not have to lie to the girls which I know I will have to start doing soon to cover my tracks and as the early relationships that they all are start to get more serious. Has anyone had any experience with this or has some tips. Obviously as well I would like to gets some 8's and 9's into my rotation so I want to get away with continuing to go out with my PUA mates who are cool guys too.

[ryanf]

Nothing wrong with Tinder, it's a different type of game. I've been using it consistently for months and have had great success. Just don't let it dull your other social skills, because it can make you lazy if you rely on it too much.

Day game is very good for quality. Where I live there are very few places for solid day game, I usually just start chatting up women at malls, grocery stores, etc. Harems can be very difficult to maintain, you've got to be very on top of your game. Lying isn't a necessity per se, but girls need plausible deniability that even if you are cheating, they can claim they had no idea, so you need to at least hide information (lying by omission, if you will). Harem members will come and go, remember never to meet any one of them more than once or twice a week, and when they want to leave, let them go. Many will return.

Also read up on harem collapse, and remember that it's a real phenomenon. Which means always keep a few in the pipeline. And remember that it's a game, it's supposed to be fun.

[leisim98]

thanks great reply i will research collapse and try to keep it fun! Plausible deniability I like that.

[VincentVinturi]

You don't have to lie to girls to maintain a harem.

You just have to be straight up about what you're able to offer at the moment.

And the girls can take it or leave it.

If you're giving them what they need (great sex, make her feel special, etc), most will take it.

Caveat: being honest isn't the same thing as being indiscreet.

I almost never talk about other girls with whatever girl I'm with at the moment.

I sure as hell don't want to know about other guys she's fucking so I pay the same courtesy.

One of the greatest gifts you can give to a girl that'll keep her coming back for more (even when she knows she's one of many fuck buddies) is the gift of *presence*.

You stay present with her and suck her into the moment with you where only you and she exist.

Create an alternate universe she can only experience when she's with you.

And make sure she understands the consequence of bad behavior is losing that special time with you forever.

[ryanf]

(07-13-2014 07:59 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

You don't have to lie to girls to maintain a harem.

You just have to be straight up about what you're able to offer at the moment.

And the girls can take it or leave it.

If you're giving them what they need (great sex, make her feel special, etc), most will take it.

Caveat: being honest isn't the same thing as being indiscreet.

I almost never talk about other girls with whatever girl I'm with at the moment.

I sure as hell don't want to know about other guys she's fucking so I pay the same courtesy.

One of the greatest gifts you can give to a girl that'll keep her coming back for more (even when she knows she's one of many fuck buddies) is the gift of *presence*.

You stay present with her and suck her into the moment with you where only you and she exist.

Create an alternate universe she can only experience when she's with you.

And make sure she understands the consequence of bad behavior is losing that special time with you forever.

Great post. I will rep when not on mobile.

[reaper23]

(07-13-2014 07:59 AM)VincentVinturi Wrote:  

You don't have to lie to girls to maintain a harem.

You just have to be straight up about what you're able to offer at the moment.

And the girls can take it or leave it.

If you're giving them what they need (great sex, make her feel special, etc), most will take it.

Caveat: being honest isn't the same thing as being indiscreet.

I almost never talk about other girls with whatever girl I'm with at the moment.

I sure as hell don't want to know about other guys she's fucking so I pay the same courtesy.

One of the greatest gifts you can give to a girl that'll keep her coming back for more (even when she knows she's one of many fuck buddies) is the gift of *presence*.

You stay present with her and suck her into the moment with you where only you and she exist.

Create an alternate universe she can only experience when she's with you.

And make sure she understands the consequence of bad behavior is losing that special time with you forever.

You just basically wrote out my entire management strategy.

and the focus on presence is spot on. each girl says that to me, how incredibly present i am with them. phone is away 100% of the time (and on silent). no other distractions, just my energy for them. special time. one on one time that makes them feel better than anything else they do all week.

they endure the nights of radio silence from me, knowing that if i dont respond for 6 hours its because i'm giving another woman what i give them - undivided attention.

its magic for them. presence.

creating a special universe can be literal, not just figurative. i have one woman who is a yoga instructor. after our first date, each encounter has been in my darkened living room with music on and candles lit. we bang and hang out for hours. like 20 times now. just like that. never even anywhere else, never with the lights on, and never before 9/10pm.

she is getting so much out of it that it carries over into her other days, feeling sexier and healthier, happier and hornier. one or two nights a week in spurts, and once every two weeks at times. it is enough to keep all but the baby rabbied female satisfied.

PS: to the immature, skittish and emotionally unaware female - "presence" is very intimidating. the word they'll use when they are scared of your attention (because it means to her that you are judging) is intense. screen and pass on those. they aren't stable enough to handle the ups and downs of being a harem girl.

----

to the OP -

walk before you run. if you just got out of a 5 year LTR and are as green as you sound, focus on the small victories first like finding one girl to fuck you many times in the face of their being others. just add new girls as you can being totally honest. and let the other ones fade over time.

for me personally, lying is out of the question. plus lying implies lower value. if you were high enough value, you'd just say take it or leave it.

focus on raising that value.

i'm of the opinion that you can learn game to help you bang a bunch of 5's and 6's, but you have to increase your own value to really have an honest rotation of 7's and 8's.

[Donkey_Riding]

(07-13-2014 07:11 AM)leisim98 Wrote:  

I'm quite enjoying the rotation but obviously would like to improve the quality and not have to lie to the girls which I know I will have to start doing soon to cover my tracks and as the early relationships that they all are start to get more serious.

Two options:
1) After you've fucked on a couple of occasions, tell her straight up that you aren't interested in anything exclusive at the time.
2) Wait until she brings up the topic of exclusivity, then tell her the same thing.

This is a pretty good article on retention. The main points are to limit communication but to give occasional, slow emotional progress:
http://www.goodlookingloser.com/entry/ge...ck-buddies

Lying and pretending you're exclusive when you aren't doesn't make sense because it's a lot of work and not even necessary (in addition to being ethically dubious at best).

[lowbudgetballer]

(07-13-2014 07:11 AM)leisim98 Wrote:  

I'm quite enjoying the rotation but obviously would like to improve the quality and not have to lie to the girls which I know I will have to start doing soon to cover my tracks and as the early relationships that they all are start to get more serious.

If you are doing that, by definition you do not have a harem.

Retention--gotta love that.

'baller

[Goldmund]

I just had my harem collapse.

Don't expect one to last for more than 3 or 4 months...that seems to be the mark where the girls push for something more. Even if you are honest with them, fucking them really well, and completely present.

Enjoy it while it lasts though...I get a lot more shit done when there are 3 or 4 beautiful girls on call.