[lampshade]

I have a fuckbuddy that I met in early may. We have hung out/banged 3 times. Each instance was 3-4 weeks apart. (my choice, she actually wanted to meet up more frequently) I do not text her between meet ups. I met her from okstupid, took her out for ice cream then segued back to my apartment for the first date bang.

After our most recent meetup, she texted me the following monday saying "Hey can I take you out to dinner on friday night?".

I don't want to go out to dinner with her. I just want to continue banging her at my apartment.

What is the best response in this situation?
I don't want to do phone drama, and I don't want to meet up with her again for another 3-4 weeks.
Thanks for any help in advance.
-Lampy

[game_ethic]

The frame you set with a girl determines how the relationship(or lack thereof) plays out. Maybe you covertly showed signs of interest that may have caused her to interpret it as "he wants a relationship." I'm not sure, but a girl overtly asking you out to dinner means she wants to be more than just your fuck buddy.

If you truly don't want to go, try re-framing and text her back something along the lines of "I'm gonna be busy. How about dinner at my place [some day]?"

[lampshade]

(07-08-2014 07:03 PM)game_ethic Wrote:  

"I'm gonna be busy. How about dinner at my place [some day]?"

Thanks! That's a good middle ground between "no" and "yes", and by setting the date it also allows me to reframe things (every 3-4 weeks) in a polite way. I guess that's charisma though? Getting what you want from people, politely.

[20Nation]

yeah if you don't want more with her, keep treating her like a fuck buddy but be sensitive about it

[CJ]

She's likely looking for one of two things:

1. To cut things off - I've had girls I was not serious with (at least not in my mind) do things like this to try and say they were moving on. Hilarious, IMO.

2. She wants something more serious - Bummer, but you've either got to pretend to care about her more than you do to keep banging her, or keep doing what you're doing and accept that things are going to be over soon.


Personally, I wouldn't turn down the free meal, and would most likely hit it one last time and move on. She's an internet chick anyway, so who really cares?

[RURALGAMER]

Ya agreed with the above. You just have to decide if banging her is something you want to keep doing.


I hope you have gotten some sort of read on what she wants. In my recent case I KNEW that despite it being clearly defined that we were only going to fuck that deep down she thought she could change my mind. Getting you out in public is the first step towards more than fuck buddies.