[Hardy Daytona]

I suffer from approach anxiety. Hell of a case too. I'm working on it with reading, exercising and attempting to engage in conversation, but it's a slow road.
Anyway, I had my v-card punched Thursday night. I'm not too proud to admit that I paid for it after consulting with others here on the forum.
Reasoning aside, it was my (possibly naive) thinking that afterwards it would be easier to approach. Now that the mystery was unveiled and the experience had, I though that I'd have an easier time of it.
So I went out to a nightclub the evening afterwards suited and booted in my best formal to DHV and went to work.
Except that I didn't.
I kept being held back by my irrational fear. But I don't understand why.
Could it have been because it was a new club that I hadn't been to before? Was it because I was alone without a wingman? Or was I just plain wrong about thinking it would become easier afterwards?

[Simeon_Strangelight]

(07-07-2014 11:56 AM)Hardy Daytona Wrote:  

I suffer from approach anxiety. Hell of a case too. I'm working on it with reading, exercising and attempting to engage in conversation, but it's a slow road.
Anyway, I had my v-card punched Thursday night. I'm not too proud to admit that I paid for it after consulting with others here on the forum.
Reasoning aside, it was my (possibly naive) thinking that afterwards it would be easier to approach. Now that the mystery was unveiled and the experience had, I though that I'd have an easier time of it.
So I went out to a nightclub the evening afterwards suited and booted in my best formal to DHV and went to work.
Except that I didn't.
I kept being held back by my irrational fear. But I don't understand why.
Could it have been because it was a new club that I hadn't been to before? Was it because I was alone without a wingman? Or was I just plain wrong about thinking it would become easier afterwards?

It did not hurt, but approach anxiety is something that even seasoned Players get. You have to just do it.

BTW - doing a bootcamp or getting a wingman helps a lot in your case.

[tylerdurden1993]

Just because you've had sex and technically lost your virginity it wont make approaching "normal" girls any easier.

This is because losing your virginity as a guy is not just a physical experience it's also a huge mental experience in that you get a girl to sleep with you without a direct cash payment. So technically you still haven't had that mental experience.

Also it would help if we knew more about your situation as it will be easier to tailor advice directly to you for example
How old are you?

What's your job situation?

Do you have a healthy lifestyle i.e. not fat, eat well etc.?

Do you have good logistics i.e. live on your own?

Have you only tried night game as a way of meeting women?
have you ever had any sort of sexual contact with a girl before thursday?

What's your social circle like? Do you have a good group of make friends who could help you out?
Are there any girls you can swoop in your social circle (Remember most guys get girls through their social circle)

In answering your final question I think paying for sex for your first time is a huge negative I think it'll make you lose even more confidence that you had to pay to lose your virginity, but that's just my two cents

[SydneyD]

"The struggle is real, and it shall continue to be real until the day you have valiantly slain (by that I mean through game) the vaginas of 10 female creatures" -Anonymous

Don't give up, endure the pain and get a little more experience then you'll be better. You won't be alright but you'll be better

[WilliamShatnersEgo]

Here's the best way to get over it....intentionally try to get shot down.

Here's how it breaks down. You walk up knowing you'll get rejected because you want to. Say outrageous things. Make intentionally silly conversation. Be animated to the point of being silly.

Then you'll start getting pussy. Why? Because you're not trying to get pussy. Being silly makes you interesting. Saying silly things might make you funnier. Thinking (hoping) you'll be rejected wakes away the stink of desperation.

Welcome to the matrix.

[Tuthmosis]

20% warning for ambiguous, click-bait thread title.

[From Vegas to Tokyo]

Your problem is approach anxiety. Make that your title of your post next time.

You've got to fake it till you make it. Just go and say something. Doesn't matter what it is, as long as you've mustered up the courage to say something. Eventually, after hundreds or thousands of approaches, you won't feel anxious.

I also love working under pressure. If you do too, go out with a wingman. You guys can take turns opening girls and seeing what happens. Knowing that someone else depends on me being able to perform spurs me to just do it, and not over think the situation. In my early days if I was rolling solo and not in the right mood, I became complacent and did not approach. When I was with a wingman, it was a command performance. A do-or-die.

Also, remember, that it's game - thats all. A fucking game. Have fun with it.

Don't be worried about negative outcomes. You're not going to get a drink thrown in your face, nobody will hurt you for approaching a girl. I have approached far more girls than I can count and have never seen an extreme negative outcome. Yeah, I've been rejected, but it's never been anything too serious.

Approach, approach, approach.

[Dalaran1991]

Approach anxiety never goes away. The veterans just come to think of it as motivation and rush instead of fear. Think of a motorcycle or roller coaster. At first you are scared shitless, but then you love it bc it scares you.

Nothing wrong with getting a hooker mate. At least now you wont fumble when having sex. But that never means you can approach. Hell if having sex means you have the confidence to approach then all the blue pill guys with GF and wives would be approaching like madmen.

Just do it. Like seriously theres no other way. Or try some placeboo effect. Go to salsa/tango etc classes, where you learn to be sexual with girls. They can be expensive, so they force you to approach and ask girls to dance if you dont wanna waste your $.

Hell, if you paid $ to go to club, at least approach to get your $ value back. Otherwise whats the point of paying shit to be in a shithole with sweat and loud music and assholes and bitches dancing like monkeys? Remember your mission.

[travolta]

Having a few drinks helps. I've been approaching girls in clubs for years now and I still get approach anxiety. I can approach when I'm sober, but if I have 2-3 drinks it helps a lot. People say that they don't like drunken one night stands, and I don't either, but many times I've fucked a girl the same night I met her in a club, and I'll continue seeing her afterwards when we're both sober. I see nothing wrong with it.