[extracube]

First time user here with new account, just as well haven't lurked on the forum much previously so apologies if I make any mistakes. Please let me know lightly if I do.

Was reading several of the articles on Roosh's main page and in one of the comments section, a user responded with something to the effect to say that, in all of a guy's previous scores, there will be the occasional "gem", but unfortunately "game" teaches you to simply dump all chicks regardless and to move on and forget. But what about that great gem that you sooner or later realize was a true and great person, and not just a one-night slut? Great point.

I'm probably a bit older than the average user here (early 40s but still look fine, slender, all my hair etc). Several years ago I had a pickup, lay, and slept overnight with a girl. The relationship turned long-distance, but over the phone things got kinda lame and just a bit weird as girls often do, so I / we (I guess it was me) called it off. There was some real disappointment in her voice at the end -- big regret now on my part, but at the time I just thought she was another weird / needy young chick, or, "something like that", and just chalked it up to another score, and assumed it got messed up with the long-distance thing. Several years later (a few weeks ago) and I remembered that chick once again. The memories that best come back to mind is that she was "real, genuine, authentic" and wouldn't be a scheming bitch even if she knew how. Of the several chicks I'd been in bed with, she was the only one who really just gave of herself, eventually her body, and didn't even understand head games. It's worth adding that at the time, she told me (have no choice but to believe her) that I took her virginity.

In my storage boxes, I came across a single old hand-written letter she sent me, and it reflects a lot of the way I described her.

Anyhow the only reason I wanted to look her up is because of her otherwise "realness," something I value more than I did before. So many people in one way or another tend to prove a bit flaky in the end. Not this chick.

Not having even a clue as to what she's up to these days, I looked her up, because inside I knew I would always some day come across her again and say something to the effect of what a dick I acted like, and be happy enough to leave it at that, and maybe restart a friendship.

Few weeks ago, I looked her up on google and hoped to just get an email address (which I did) and just say a quick sorry for the way it ended and hoped she would understand. Loh and behold, I find out that the cute little innocent tshirt wearing gullible and nice young needy girl I snuggled around with grew up to be a successful PhD in astrophysics and now works as a directing scientist at well, basically the best company you could work for in science (I don't want to give too many specifics and end up disclosing identity). She's still early / mid 30s and is slender and looks fine. Talk about a gem (the person inside and her accomplishments out). I'm wondering how can a guy re-establish communications with a previous lay of which he broke off and show himself to still be the valuable guy he was who attracted her in the first place...

[Cheetah]

1) Her being successful in her career doesn't confirm she is a catch as an LTR material.

2) Don't say that you are sorry. It's different if you let her know that you regret your decision.

Hit her up and ask if she remembers you. Have a reasonable explanation why you came to the idea to hit her up (you found the old letter when cleaning out the house and thought why not check what profession she is in or something better if you can think of anything) and drink coffee with her.

She might be a gem while that gem is now older and you haven't been in her life for quite a while. It's like selling your favourite car and buy it back a decade later. Don't expect it to be the same.

It sounds as you really want to tell her about your decision that you came to regret. Perhaps that's just what you want the most. If the two of you 'click' again then get to learn her more. If not, just try to find another and possibly younger gem.

[extracube]

Thanks. Guess I should have mentioned in first post that a couple days after finding her contact info, I emailed her. While it's possible that her prestigious mail suffix bounced my hotmail account (as hotmail has bad spam rep), I assume she got the mail, but there was no response. I rang her work phone once but didn't leave a message. I stopped at that and haven't done anything since. Basically in the email I said both things mentioned above, "sorry" and "regret." Wasn't "down on one knee" though so didn't make an ass of myself. But it appears that an honest and straight email didn't do the trick -- I guess no surprise as we guys are logical but women are emotional.

So basically I think all it boils down to is sit back for awhile, in the meantime get my own game back in line and really up to snuff, and just work on myself and f**k 4 or 5 women, and after a while (i.e. next year, perhaps, or else later this year), try again. This next time I'll need to use the rules of attraction and charm, not a straight shooting honesty tactic.

I guess I should have mentioned in first post that she is from Asia, but I speak and write her language so comms is not a problem, but cultural rules are worth considering. I.E. the Asians often have strange relational rules (business / friends / neighbors) whereas we Westerners aren't as uptight.

[SydneyD]

hahaha dude don't you talk to other girls?

[Cheetah]

(07-08-2014 05:31 PM)extracube Wrote:  

Thanks. Guess I should have mentioned in first post that a couple days after finding her contact info, I emailed her. While it's possible that her prestigious mail suffix bounced my hotmail account (as hotmail has bad spam rep), I assume she got the mail, but there was no response. I rang her work phone once but didn't leave a message. I stopped at that and haven't done anything since. Basically in the email I said both things mentioned above, "sorry" and "regret." Wasn't "down on one knee" though so didn't make an ass of myself. But it appears that an honest and straight email didn't do the trick -- I guess no surprise as we guys are logical but women are emotional.

So basically I think all it boils down to is sit back for awhile, in the meantime get my own game back in line and really up to snuff, and just work on myself and f**k 4 or 5 women, and after a while (i.e. next year, perhaps, or else later this year), try again. This next time I'll need to use the rules of attraction and charm, not a straight shooting honesty tactic.

I guess I should have mentioned in first post that she is from Asia, but I speak and write her language so comms is not a problem, but cultural rules are worth considering. I.E. the Asians often have strange relational rules (business / friends / neighbors) whereas we Westerners aren't as uptight.

A reality check here, if she hasn't already hit the wall soon she will. You can't possibly have strong feelings for her and you haven't spent much of your life together. On top of that, she's a career woman spending lots of time working. Do you even know if she has kids and/or is married?

She probably has received your email. You can always email the secretary of another department and ask about a trivial thing and see if you get a reply.

There's a difference between saying that you regretted what you did in the past and that you regret yourself now. The latter alludes that you want to get together again which might be a little forward considering that you haven't seen each other in ages. The former is still also a little forward. If you want to meet her your chances are better if you are clear about that it's just to hear how she is doing and nothing else. Wait some time and maybe ask for a 'business lunch' when you are in the area of her workplace? After you have met her again, you can tell her about your real intentions and that you want to see her again if you haven't changed your mind.

If she has facebook maybe wait some time and then add her just to see if she reciprocates your invite. And what has been said here already, go and talk to other women! And I can't believe that I even try to give advice on how to get a woman who's well past here prime, when it would probably be much easier for you to get another and objectively better woman. Whatever floats your boat though, hit her up some time again in the future just to find out yourself what she's like or that you did what you could.. One question for you if you don't mind, would you still want her instead of another women who might be like 25 years old with good values and is overall a LTR material?

[iknowexactly]

generally, if you're asking for help it means it's too late, she's moved on and you need to meet many other women.

[Parlay44]

Like Biggie says ...Don't chase'em, replace'em.

[kaotic]

Really bad case of oneitis man, it's over.

Sure hit her up see how she's doing, more than likely she won't be interested.

Get your mind off her, game younger, hotter, funner, girls.

[JayNull]

(07-09-2014 08:16 AM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

Like Biggie says ...Don't chase'em, replace'em.

"..and if i'm caressing em', i'm undressing em' "

[Remington]

Why go for a ruby when you can get a diamond?