[redbeard]

As some of you may know I have spent the past few years in an LTR and I have finally left my girl and moved onto getting back into game. I had some experience with game from before my LTR but nothing crazy to write home about. This was my first time meeting up with a girl since my breakup.

My date tonight was a tinder date. We met up at 10 PM at a strip mall and had ice cream followed by a drink. I then pushed and got a blowjob in my car. Here are some thoughts on the whole situation.

1. Tinder is not my style. I am an okay looking guy but did not have amazing success like this. I put in the work. I tried lots of openers. I got many numbers. I even widened my search area and got this girl to drive 45 minutes to me. However it feels too needy to me. I do believe that the smartphone generation is terrible - and I will not help upping these bitches egos by being their match on tinder.

NONE of the girls I've gotten ANY interest from on tinder have been jaw droppers. Which means that I have to settle with the lower tier girls - which is exactly what I don't want. Where do I want my game to be in 5 years? Do I want to be banging mediocre looking women easily or do I want to be banging a few of the top 10%?

I'm giving up tinder because it's not what I want my game to look like down the road. I don't want easy returns. I want to slay top tier pussy. I think the top tier girls KNOW that (the majority of) guys are only on tinder because they're not getting laid outside of tinder. I don't want any girl thinking that of me.

Even average looking girls get dozens of matches each day. I will not be a number.

2. Good social skills go a long way. When I was in my LTR, if I had some free time that I could have spent gaming, I just went out and socialized. I met up with some friends I might not be that close with. I pushed for beers with people I had only been acquaintances with. I would get lunch and chat with people I had only known through classes. Yes, I was in college and it was easy, but social confidence should be a goal of all. Even if you don't have the intent of picking up women, going out and learning how to talk to people better is a crucial skill. Watch Seinfeld. Private Man said once that one of the problems with men is that our hobbies have become smoking dope and playing video games, which push us to lose our social skills. Counter that by going out more.

This date was very easy for me because of my social skills. I used to worry about "what to say" on dates or how to have a good time. Just have fun! As long as you get out there and keep the conversation flowing, you are doing better than most beta bitches. I was able to go on auto-pilot and just talk for most of the date, stopping a few times to ask questions about her, but I was only able to do this becuase my social skills have grown so much in the past years, because...

3. LTR's are a great time to work on inner game. Although I wasn't gaming when I was with my girl, I was lifting. I was reading more than ever before. I was browsing the forum to learn about holes in my game. I was becoming more outgoing. I spent any time I had socializing with people just for the hell of it. I was becoming the man I want to be in 10 years. If you're in an LTR, it is especially important for you to keep growing because a. it will keep your girl attracted and b. you will need the game if y'all break up!

4. Fuck LMR! Before finding RVF and other sources, I was a beta bitch boy. Yes, I grew a small harem. Yes, I followed the Law of Abundance. Yes, I racked up some notches. But, I always gave into girls' excuses when I was escalating. Years of beta-conditioning in America taught me to respect girls' wishes if they didn't want to have sex with you. Fuck that!

I was making out with this girl in the front seat of my car after driving to where her car was. I said, "let's move into the back of my car, it's more spacious" and she said "I don't know, that usually leads to things..." I got out of my seat and said "come on don't be a fun killer" and she followed suit. Fuck LMR! It's just another shit test! This is a big thing that this community has given me and I am thankful for that. As long as the girl is still using a soft tone of voice, and you remain playful yet dominant, go get what you want.

Anyway this is mostly cathartic to me. Feel free to share your thoughts and maybe I'll update this as my journey back into the game continues.

[Christian McQueen]

I remember your email to me about leaving your LTR.

Sounds like you are taking those action steps and are on your way. That's badass.

[RockHard]

Quote:

3. LTR's are a great time to work on inner game. Although I wasn't gaming when I was with my girl, I was lifting. I was reading more than ever before. I was browsing the forum to learn about holes in my game. I was becoming more outgoing. I spent any time I had socializing with people just for the hell of it. I was becoming the man I want to be in 10 years. If you're in an LTR, it is especially important for you to keep growing because a. it will keep your girl attracted and b. you will need the game if y'all break up!

Overall an awesome post, but this is excellent advice right there. Don't let an LTR dull your edge.

[Carlos100]

(06-26-2014 01:19 AM)redbeard Wrote:  

2. Good social skills go a long way. When I was in my LTR, if I had some free time that I could have spent gaming, I just went out and socialized. I met up with some friends I might not be that close with. I pushed for beers with people I had only been acquaintances with. I would get lunch and chat with people I had only known through classes. Yes, I was in college and it was easy, but social confidence should be a goal of all. Even if you don't have the intent of picking up women, going out and learning how to talk to people better is a crucial skill. Watch Seinfeld. Private Man said once that one of the problems with men is that our hobbies have become smoking dope and playing video games, which push us to lose our social skills. Counter that by going out more.

Really great advice. This also applies to married game. Don't let your woman isolate you. Stay socially healthy by interacting with other people as much as possible.

[jumbo tron]

Great OP and thread. Long time reader and have got so much from the forum so figured time to contribute. I have a lot in common with the OP.

I myself am in a good LTR with a good woman, but considering carefully what my next move is. I know its got everything to do with me, what I want and achieving my goals and whether the LTR helps me achieve this, but using my time productively. I'm in my mid 30s and thanks to the forum have begun consciously improving myself. I am fitter and in better shape than I was at 30, building my asset and cash base through a good career but also driven to look at other avenues in business and side interests. I try to identify and enjoy every opportunity to talk to women, and just shoot the breeze and test myself, make new connections and develop a clear idea of my value. Its great practice. Not letting the LTR put my cue in the rack

In hindsight, I had decent game when I was younger without even knowing it. I had decent numbers, didn't put women on a pedestal and had a great abundance mentality. Best of all, I just didn't give a fuck and that was the best thing for me! But society, expectations, mainstream media and relationships can knock that rawness out of you, and like the OP, was too respectful for my own good at times and the beta tendencies had started to rear their ugly head.

Just glad I have identified it before I'm knee deep in kids and a overblown mortgage. I dictate terms on the LTR now and pass shit tests most of the time and after learning more about frame, am better at recognizing when its vital to keep it.

I agree with OP. If I do find myself back in the game, I don't think Tinder will be for me. I see the benefits but think I will get the best of myself just approaching and presenting. A guy I knew when I was about 21 who was my age now always said that you just have to keep presenting yourself and the girl will decide pretty quickly. Looking back, he had some awesome game, was just cavalier and used to rack up the notches with girls of all ages and demographics.

Lots more to say, but will keep reading and learning. Its good to be here guys

[redbeard]

Game takes time.

A few weeks out of my LTR, I'm not banging three new girls a week like I dreamed. Whatever. That's life. I'm going out, making approaches, and having fun. I am a little worried about my lack of success, but I've come to realize that this is a journey. Despite the growth I've had in the past few years, I still have a long ways to go. Building my game back up will take time.

I have trouble with some of the people who say that game doesn't exist. They say game is all luck…personality…looks…right place right time…fuck that. The reason why people think that is because they have misconceptions about what game really is.

Game is not…

peacocking
pre-set routines
escalation ladders
fabricated stories
negs

Someone around here, I think MikeCF, said something like "Fitness is like game. Different things work for different people. Try a few techniques out, and go from there."

However, game is….

your personality
having interesting stories
being a likable person
understanding social dynamics

This is something that the PUA movement did completely wrong. This is why there are a lot of game denialists who think that certain tactics don't work. Of course different tactics don't work because if you're still a neckbeard basement dweller, yet you wear a fedora and neg every girl you see, game will not work. And that's understandable.

Let's continue the fitness analogy and say that "game" is protein powder. If you've never stepped inside a gym before, start lifting, see newbie gains, and start taking protein powder, of course you are going to attest that your specialized BCAA blend is what did it for you.

Got it? Now replace protein powder with game strategy.

Let's analyze this fitness metaphor with what a beta would do.

You're fat as shit, can barely bench press the bar, can't walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes without dying of exhaustion, eat McDonald's for every meal, and start taking protein powder. You still exercise only once a week, yet are asking "why haven't I gotten HUUGE like the advertisements said?" Well, dumbass, it's because everything else you were doing is wrong.

Back to game. If you are already well with women, and start tweaking your game a little bit, you will start to see results. If you are new to the game, and start trying to implement a lot of game right off the bat, you're gonna have a bad time.

So what do you want to do if you want to improve your fitness or game? Start with baby steps.

Game:

Talk to waitresses more.
Talk to everybody more.
Buy Bang.
Read Bang, digesting it fully.
Stop texting girls as much.
Try being more playful.

Fitness:

Get a gym membership.
Eat more fruit.
Stop eating out.
Learn how to cook.
Go for walks in your free time.
Do pushups in your house.


Game and fitness both take time. Arnold started training when he was 15. Start improving your life today. Results will not occur overnight (outside of newbie gains). However, in a few years you will look back and think "wow, I can't believe I fucked that girl and can now deadlift that weight."

Get started today and don't look back.

[jumbo tron]

(07-06-2014 03:02 PM)redbeard Wrote:  

Game takes time.

A few weeks out of my LTR, I'm not banging three new girls a week like I dreamed. Whatever. That's life. I'm going out, making approaches, and having fun. I am a little worried about my lack of success, but I've come to realize that this is a journey. Despite the growth I've had in the past few years, I still have a long ways to go. Building my game back up will take time.

I have trouble with some of the people who say that game doesn't exist. They say game is all luck…personality…looks…right place right time…fuck that. The reason why people think that is because they have misconceptions about what game really is.

Game is not…

peacocking
pre-set routines
escalation ladders
fabricated stories
negs

Someone around here, I think MikeCF, said something like "Fitness is like game. Different things work for different people. Try a few techniques out, and go from there."

However, game is….

your personality
having interesting stories
being a likable person
understanding social dynamics

This is something that the PUA movement did completely wrong. This is why there are a lot of game denialists who think that certain tactics don't work. Of course different tactics don't work because if you're still a neckbeard basement dweller, yet you wear a fedora and neg every girl you see, game will not work. And that's understandable.

Let's continue the fitness analogy and say that "game" is protein powder. If you've never stepped inside a gym before, start lifting, see newbie gains, and start taking protein powder, of course you are going to attest that your specialized BCAA blend is what did it for you.

Got it? Now replace protein powder with game strategy.

Let's analyze this fitness metaphor with what a beta would do.

You're fat as shit, can barely bench press the bar, can't walk on the treadmill for 30 minutes without dying of exhaustion, eat McDonald's for every meal, and start taking protein powder. You still exercise only once a week, yet are asking "why haven't I gotten HUUGE like the advertisements said?" Well, dumbass, it's because everything else you were doing is wrong.

Back to game. If you are already well with women, and start tweaking your game a little bit, you will start to see results. If you are new to the game, and start trying to implement a lot of game right off the bat, you're gonna have a bad time.

So what do you want to do if you want to improve your fitness or game? Start with baby steps.

Game:

Talk to waitresses more.
Talk to everybody more.
Buy Bang.
Read Bang, digesting it fully.
Stop texting girls as much.
Try being more playful.

Fitness:

Get a gym membership.
Eat more fruit.
Stop eating out.
Learn how to cook.
Go for walks in your free time.
Do pushups in your house.


Game and fitness both take time. Arnold started training when he was 15. Start improving your life today. Results will not occur overnight (outside of newbie gains). However, in a few years you will look back and think "wow, I can't believe I fucked that girl and can now deadlift that weight."

Get started today and don't look back.

Great Post.

Its a big step you've taken but you seem to be hitting it head on in the trenches. I aspire, if I'm ever in the same situation, Ill hit it with the same amount gusto and considered self reflection that you are.

You've taken the hardest step, the first one and putting yourself out of your comfort zone which should be commended. I wouldn't worry about what you perceive a lack of success; you keep on the self improvement path the success will come over time. Not every night needs to be a bender

Although still in the LTR, as we have discussed via PM, I think what it would be like back out there, and I too though what it would be like to create a harem of new exciting girls in my life. But its obviously not that easy, otherwise everyone would be doing it.

But cant agree more, When I was 'gaming' when I was younger my best successes was when I was myself, playful, and just didn't give a fuck but still reminding polite and conforming to what was my natural self.

Now I am also more in tune with the importance of self improvement. I'm getting a brand new apartment soon, be living on my own, and although in a very culturally and ethnically diverse area with great food I'm going to make an effort to cook fresh and quality food more often and not. Cultivate my true value, train with purpose.

Be the best version of myself I can be. The game success will follow. Be it a LTR who wants to follow my lead or new experiences with new girls.

There is no doubt you are on a great new journey. Keep us posted