[Nomad77]

I know there is a huge debate about whether you should be direct or indirect when approaching a girl. The fact of the matter is, very few men have the confidence to be direct and a direct approach requires more factors to align to work. This is why I am always both direct and indirect in every approach.

When I approach any girl I am non-verbally direct AND verbally indirect.

How am I non-verbally direct?

1. I look at her in a very direct and sexual manner. I don't look around. I am looking directly into her eyes and face 80% of the time.

2. I break her intimate space. I stand close to her.

3. I touch her as we talk.

How am I verbally indirect?

I have a regular non-sexual conversation with her. If you were to listening in on our conversation it would sound like two old friends just sort of catching up.

I deal with a lot of attractive women. The likelihood of them having a boyfriend or husband is very high. If I was direct it would force them to admit the relationship to preserve their sense of morality or integrity. Once they do this they would then have to justify logically anything else they do. By keeping the conversation indirect and non-sexual I allow them to continue to interact with me without forcing them to deal with this issue immediately.

[Samseau]

Completely agree, matches my experience as well. The thing that requires practice, however, is how quickly you ramp up the touching. I'm afraid there's no quick and easy guide, you simply learn from practice.

[Nomad77]

Depends on the environment I can begin touching almost immediately. For example, if it's some kind of social event, party, club, bar, etc. If it's in a supermarket or department store I usually wait a bit longer, like after the handshake. It also depends on how close I am to them. You don't want to be reaching to touch the girl.

[robreke]

(06-02-2014 01:29 AM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

I know there is a huge debate about whether you should be direct or indirect when approaching a girl. The fact of the matter is, very few men have the confidence to be direct and a direct approach requires more factors to align to work. This is why I am always both direct and indirect in every approach.

When I approach any girl I am non-verbally direct AND verbally indirect.

How am I non-verbally direct?

1. I look at her in a very direct and sexual manner. I don't look around. I am looking directly into her eyes and face 80% of the time.

2. I break her intimate space. I stand close to her.

3. I touch her as we talk.

How am I verbally indirect?

I have a regular non-sexual conversation with her. If you were to listening in on our conversation it would sound like two old friends just sort of catching up.

I deal with a lot of attractive women. The likelihood of them having a boyfriend or husband is very high. If I was direct it would force them to admit the relationship to preserve their sense of morality or integrity. Once they do this they would then have to justify logically anything else they do. By keeping the conversation indirect and non-sexual I allow them to continue to interact with me without forcing them to deal with this issue immediately.

Good approach and I'm starting to implement this. I'm curious...I mostly approach good looking women too who are often "taken". How are you "closing" these women? Are you just seducing them on the same day/night and suggesting a drink at your place?.....or are you going for a number close to arrange something later? I usually do okay until I go for the number close at which point the bf comes up....so I'm wondering how your indirect/direct game ends up in action and sex or at least a "real date". Thanks.

[Nomad77]

@robreke With great difficulty if and when it happens. Since nearly all of them is always in some kind of relationship it really comes down to catching them at the right time e.g. they got into a fight with their boyfriend or caught him cheating. I don't have a problem getting numbers and starting some kind of conversation but it's very difficult to get them to actually do something. If you work with them or interact with them on some regular basis then you have a much better chance, because you will be around whenever she decides she wants to do something plus you can build rapport over time. Otherwise, it's basically a long-term numbers game. If you catch them out at night with their girlfriends you can get a make out or once in awhile a ONS if they get drunk or something. Also, white American or European girls are more likely to cheat on their boyfriends or husbands than other races because they are usually more independent and carefree about sex.

The key is to push the initial interaction as far as possible. Go for an instadate, makeout, sex whatever because once she leaves the feelings you created are going to fade quickly and her logical mind will kick in and she will start thinking about her relationship etc. So you want to create as strong an initial impression as possible because you are going to need all of it to get her to continue talking to you. Try adding them to facebook and keep an eye on their status. Once you see they post something that sounds like they are pissed off at their boyfriend or they broke up with him, hit them with a message. Just say something like hey, what's your facebook let's stay in touch. Most of them will give it to you.

[Dalaran1991]

Good post Nomad but I have a question here. I've been doing exactly what you have been doing, because I find it quite easy to be non-verbally sexual but hard to be verbally sexual. The problem though is that, with this approach I still feel like I'm wasting time. Isn't the goal of game is to screen out potential DTF girls as fast as possible and stop wasting time with girls who won't bang?

I feel like this put me in a state of cognitive dissonance because verbally it's platonic but I'm touching her and shit but things aren't going anywhere most of the time unless I date close. And since the tone of the conversation has been platonic she would not expect it as a date ==> wasted time.

I feel like this is much more of a social circle game, or "keeping your place in line with hot taken girls" game. Its too slow and frankly not as effective if you don't get to see the girl very often.

[Nomad77]

@Dalaran Thanks. The moment you move within a foot or 20cm of a girl and look at her directly she knows what you want - trust me. As long as she doesn't move away you just keep escalating e.g. put your hand on your hip then put your arms around her waist. Communication is primarily non-verbal anyway and after that the tone of your voice is more important than what you way. If you think verbalizing your intention will make a difference go ahead and try it and see if it does.

The only easy way to get hot girls is be really good looking or famous or very rich. Every other way, is going to involve a lot of work.

[simondice]

Nomad77 How do you communicate the right kind of voice and tempo? Great tip by the way man.

[Nomad77]

The tone and tempo of your voice is going to be product of your frame. When you are confident, sincere, sexual your voice will convey those traits. Even if you are a little nervous that's fine. That only shows her you are real. Make a conscious effort to talk more slowly, try not to rush. Don't cut her off, let her talk. It's always better for her to be doing the talking while you are doing the physical escalation. This will occupy her conscious mind and people love to talk about themselves.

A little trick I use is to interrupt her in the middle of the conversation to point out something I just noticed about her then shift back to the conversation. This is my way of letting her know I am really looking at her and not just in a sexual way.

[Jasper]

Nomad,

Digging you post, I get what your saying here. But do you think you could give me a couple examples of verbal indirect? I know what it is I'm just curious as to your particular style. Stuff like day bang? Observations? Asking directions or whatnot?

[robreke]

(06-02-2014 09:26 PM)Nomad77 Wrote:  

The tone and tempo of your voice is going to be product of your frame. When you are confident, sincere, sexual your voice will convey those traits. Even if you are a little nervous that's fine. That only shows her you are real. Make a conscious effort to talk more slowly, try not to rush. Don't cut her off, let her talk. It's always better for her to be doing the talking while you are doing the physical escalation. This will occupy her conscious mind and people love to talk about themselves.

A little trick I use is to interrupt her in the middle of the conversation to point out something I just noticed about her then shift back to the conversation. This is my way of letting her know I am really looking at her and not just in a sexual way.

Yeah...good stuff Nomad. Regarding tone and tempo....sometimes I will watch movie clips of "alpha" males. It doesn't even have to be them interacting with women.....though that's helpful. Think George Clooney talking to and trying to seduce Julia Roberts in Ocean's Eleven. Or Clooney's character and demeanor in "Michael Clayton" just a calm, in control alpha demeanor and pace.
There are lots of other good actors to watch and emulate besides Clooney. You'll know it when you see it. Sometimes, watching this kind of stuff before going out or interacting with women has helped me. I've actually used movie lines before from scenes like this to get dates and numbers.

[Nomad77]

@Jasper I don't use any canned material. I just make up stuff up as I go. What you say is not nearly as important as how you say it. I always use indirect situational openers. I rarely pay a direct compliment. If you are too focus on what you are saying then you want come across as natural. My main focus is always trying to build rapport and a mood. 60% of my mental energy goes toward reading the girl and constantly adjusting to create a better mood. Even, so, you have to remember, once you leave that mood will wear off quickly.