[ChinUpChestOut]

Alright players, I've seen threads dedicated to the nastiest sex stories told, unfathomable tales of poking abominations and performing devious carnal acts upon barely human creatures. These tales only depict and illustrate the grotesque lizard, but never have I seen a thread dedicated to things you did that would fall under the unforgettably embarrassing category. As is customary, I will begin the thread with a story of my own.

I was fourteen years old with my latvian/ukranian gf, we had been going super strong for about four-five months at this time. I was a semi pro athlete slated to compete internationally in taekwondo, and enjoyed practicing other martial arts on the side, one of these was jiu jitsu. I would often spar with my girlfriend, never letting her win but without suffient force to actually hurt her. We would usually spar naked, and it would lead to sex.

One day we were chillin on her bed post bang and I decided it would be fun to grapple naked with her. So we start grappling and I get her in a rear naked choke, (obviously I dont squeeze) I flatten her out and im fully on top of her. Were both laughing hard and I feel this fart coming. So I let the fart out and kind of feel like it came with a surprise, but wasnt 100% sure. The laughing intensifies due to my fart and then in between my Ass cheeks I feel liquid. I get up and say im going to the bathroom. I get off her and she turns around and sees a small turd on her leg. She yells "ChinUP you shat on me!!" I try and play it cool but I start laughing my ass off! Like on the floor doubled up in pain from laughing, shes freaking out and laughing, making me laugh even more.

We ended up showering together and then I smashed her pretty european pussy.

Told my friends about the incident, 4 years later and they still wont stop bringing up "The Turd"

[kinjutsu]

Hmm...
i don't make many fuck ups now but a few years ago i had messaged a girl online to meet up and smoke some weed. I drove to her house and she kicked her guy friend out. The unspoken thing was for us was to fuck and blaze.
If i smoke weed its only by a joint, never by a bong. I know this now but i didn't realize it back then.

We go into her basement and we start to smoke...
Starts off with a joint then we start making out and she's loading up her bong. I'm taking little hits and going slow to not mess myself up. I take a break and start taking off her clothes. Then i take a ling hit from the bong without realizing it...
At this this point i'm coughing up a storm. It feels like I'm having trouble breathing/not getting enough air so i stand up as she's giving me head.
Then i start to feel sick and grab her trash bin and start dry heaving. Nothing is coming up but alot of saliva.

Easily my lowest game moment.

I spend the next 20-30 minutes coughing and dry heaving. I'm barely aware of the time and she goes up stairs and outside for a cigarette. Then i get a phone call and it's her, she locked herself out of the house. So i go upstairs and let her in. Keep in mind I'm not wearing any pants and i'm still 80% erect. As i let her in she grabs my dick and starts stroking me off asking if i want to go back down stairs and blaze some more. I don't remember what i had said but it must've been close to a yes because the next thing i remember if her on top of me riding me reverse cowgirl.
I pick her up and put her into doggy style and start going at it. I think my body has recovered but then i realize I'm sweat a TON. Way more then I've ever sweated in my entire life. Her bed is drenched in my sweat.

After i nut i start getting dressed because her mom is coming home soon and i just needed some fresh air. I walked to my car and quickly realize I'm still far too fucked up to drive. So i get into the passenger seat and toss my keys into the glove box. I pass out for about 2 hours. Again i wake up drenched in my own sweat. Its dark now and luckily no one called the police because there was a random black guy sleeping in his car in a mostly white neighborhood.

[Rhyme or Reason]

delete

[Phoenix]

^ I don't think it's a dupe, that thread was about game fails, not doing something fucked up like OP.

[General Stalin]

When I was 14 I'm pretty sure I was still collecting pokemon cards, playing playstation 2, riding my bike to my friends house, and jerking off to grainy 5-minute porn videos I downloaded off of Kazaa. Damn.

Also this is kind of a dupe:

thread-56363.html

[XPQ22]

Lowest (dumbest?) game moment of the past year was sometime last fall, when I went on a second online date with a pretty good looking girl in Boston who worked in the fashion industry. Not much happened the first time out, it was a fucking dinner date if you can believe it, but I recall reading some guys here saying that sometimes awkward first dates where the girl is still enthusiastic to meet for a second can eventually lead to the bang, so I thought "what the hell" and went forward with it.

Unfortunately, I had a relative who became seriously ill the week before the date, and needed to be admitted to the hospital. I'd visited her the day before the planned meet, she seemed to be doing better and was in good spirits, so I decided to go forward with it.

Here's the dumb part. Like a dummy, I mentioned the situation to the girl soon into the second meet. I don't know what I was thinking, what I thought I would get out of doing this, get it off my chest, some sympathy, something. LOL, stupid me.

Never seen a formerly enthusiastic girl's enthusiasm fade so quickly. "Oh" she said. "You shouldn't have come." I should've said "You're right" and walked right there, but again, like a fool, I went through a boring 30 minute sit at the bar anyway where few words were exchanged, and she eventually picked up her phone and started texting. After we left she smirked at me and said "You seem very sweet, but I'm not interested", and walked off.

I felt like a fucking desperate piece of garbage after that one, never again. Family before chicks, always.

[SegaSaturn1994]

(09-08-2016 02:48 PM)XPQ22 Wrote:  

Lowest (dumbest?) game moment of the past year was sometime last fall, when I went on a second online date with a pretty good looking girl in Boston who worked in the fashion industry. Not much happened the first time out, it was a fucking dinner date if you can believe it, but I recall reading some guys here saying that sometimes awkward first dates where the girl is still enthusiastic to meet for a second can eventually lead to the bang, so I thought "what the hell" and went forward with it.

Unfortunately, I had a relative who became seriously ill the week before the date, and needed to be admitted to the hospital. I'd visited her the day before the planned meet, she seemed to be doing better and was in good spirits, so I decided to go forward with it.

Here's the dumb part. Like a dummy, I mentioned the situation to the girl soon into the second meet. I don't know what I was thinking, what I thought I would get out of doing this, get it off my chest, some sympathy, something. LOL, stupid me.

Never seen a formerly enthusiastic girl's enthusiasm fade so quickly. "Oh" she said. "You shouldn't have come." I should've said "You're right" and walked right there, but again, like a fool, I went through a boring 30 minute sit at the bar anyway where few words were exchanged, and she eventually picked up her phone and started texting. After we left she smirked at me and said "You seem very sweet, but I'm not interested", and walked off.

I felt like a fucking desperate piece of garbage after that one, never again. Family before chicks, always.

I don't get what was so horrible about this. The fact that you shared an unfortunate family occurrence with her? That you're never supposed to share anything negative or expect empathy from a girl?

[XPQ22]

(09-10-2016 10:44 AM)SegaSaturn1994 Wrote:  

I don't get what was so horrible about this. The fact that you shared an unfortunate family occurrence with her? That you're never supposed to share anything negative or expect empathy from a girl?

Mostly the dirty feeling I was left with when I realized that this girl I had taken out to dinner, gone for a laughing joyride in my car with, texted with and treated well...actually had none.