[Blackliter]

Well, it definitely exceeded my expectations. Was sitting there at 9pm thinking "fuck, its going to be me and my roommate"

Night ended up turning up alright. 15-20 people with 5 guys and 10 girls+. I got couple games of beer pong going on, then ring of fire twice with a big group, then flip cup couple times. The actual party only lasted till 12:30, freshmen guy and girl got too drunk lol.. but its still going on at 1:50am.. but just my roommates bros playing drinking games.

Anyways the main point, great party for me, shitty game on my part. Got friend zoned HARD by every girl, and well I was so preoccupied with trying to have a good first party, basically just fell into that friend zone...it was also there in class (from the people I invited).

Had 2 8's and 2 7's at the party hugging and playing games with me. Only 1 8 taken. but the other 3 didn't even let me get sexual, conversation just stopped or they walked away in a sec. Did not play the aloof game properly..

Also my place got trashed..luckily I have tile floor - all wet...but next year I'll have carpet so I doubt I can have another party...since this semester is ending. any solutions/suggestions?

My goddamn game. positive thing is Ive come a long way reducing fapping and my vibe was good again. but I'm getting more and more frustrated. not even a makeout or kiss ever... I'm not being try hard or too creepy, erring on the friend zone side, I'm cautious...or just losing time.

not generating that sexual attraction..nor don't know what to say. The 8 that wasn't taken, cut me down when I tried a couple small sexual undertones. sure she wasn't DTF..and its only 1 girl...but this has been repeating on too many girls.

[jessup25]

Problem number 1 is you're getting frustrated. Chicks know when you're investing in them, don't ask me how. The hardest part about not caring is actually not caring, instead of acting. The hard part about aloof game and confidence is pretending only goes so far, you have to actually be confident and care free. That isn't easy, and it takes time. Don't get me wrong sounds like you're totally on the right track, just practice man. Approach approach approach. Get some new chicks in there.

As for the carpet, I always throw some towels down. Is what it is. Or, if you can, take it outside. Don't know your specifics, but we always used a buddy's back patio. Never got bothered, I figured everyone assumes the party's legit, hiding in plain sight and all that. Obviously if you can't you can't. Worst case loose the water and play some flip cup.

[kaotic]

(04-26-2014 12:54 AM)Blackliter Wrote:  

Also my place got trashed..luckily I have tile floor - all wet...but next year I'll have carpet so I doubt I can have another party...since this semester is ending. any solutions/suggestions?

First congrats on your first successful house party

Towels, even mats are your friend. If there's anything I learned about my house being the party house in college, RENT A CARPET CLEANER the morning before your party !! It saves time, cleans beautifully. I also made sure everyone took of their shoes coming into my house. (it's an Indian thing haha)

Quote:

My goddamn game. positive thing is Ive come a long way reducing fapping and my vibe was good again. but I'm getting more and more frustrated. not even a makeout or kiss ever... I'm not being try hard or too creepy, erring on the friend zone side, I'm cautious...or just losing time.

not generating that sexual attraction..nor don't know what to say. The 8 that wasn't taken, cut me down when I tried a couple small sexual undertones. sure she wasn't DTF..and its only 1 girl...but this has been repeating on too many girls.

Don't express frustration, females smell it, and don't force it either, that'll be obvious. Cool-Calm-Collective.

What you should've done is something like this, "theirs something missing from this picture!" girl-"oh yeah what ?" you - "a shot/cup of beer in your hand" you - lead them to your kitchen (it helps to know some cool drinks to make) such as angry balls, flaming dr pepper, captain crunch shot (rumchata/fireball) etc.

Also, ALWAYS have a few card decks on hand, girls LOVE playing simple drinking games. Get "Cards for humanity" it's completely sexual and fucked up.

Once you get the girls loosened up THEN keep it funny and sexual. Lead from there, make sure your logistics in the house are tight and you've got a wingman who you can trust to oversee the party while you're smashing.

[AneroidOcean]

(04-26-2014 12:54 AM)Blackliter Wrote:  

Well, it definitely exceeded my expectations. Was sitting there at 9pm thinking "fuck, its going to be me and my roommate"

Night ended up turning up alright. 15-20 people with 5 guys and 10 girls+. I got couple games of beer pong going on, then ring of fire twice with a big group, then flip cup couple times. The actual party only lasted till 12:30, freshmen guy and girl got too drunk lol.. but its still going on at 1:50am.. but just my roommates bros playing drinking games.

Anyways the main point, great party for me, shitty game on my part. Got friend zoned HARD by every girl, and well I was so preoccupied with trying to have a good first party, basically just fell into that friend zone...it was also there in class (from the people I invited).

Had 2 8's and 2 7's at the party hugging and playing games with me. Only 1 8 taken. but the other 3 didn't even let me get sexual, conversation just stopped or they walked away in a sec. Did not play the aloof game properly..

Also my place got trashed..luckily I have tile floor - all wet...but next year I'll have carpet so I doubt I can have another party...since this semester is ending. any solutions/suggestions?

My goddamn game. positive thing is Ive come a long way reducing fapping and my vibe was good again. but I'm getting more and more frustrated. not even a makeout or kiss ever... I'm not being try hard or too creepy, erring on the friend zone side, I'm cautious...or just losing time.

not generating that sexual attraction..nor don't know what to say. The 8 that wasn't taken, cut me down when I tried a couple small sexual undertones. sure she wasn't DTF..and its only 1 girl...but this has been repeating on too many girls.

It EXCEEDED your expectations! It was your first party! You had a GREAT girl/guy ratio.

Seriously, you did well in all those things. Your goal was to have fun, not get laid. Sure, you would've liked to get laid, but this is great experience and I've gotta say, well done.

One thing I'm going to tell you about getting friend-zoned. You should treat everyone as your friends, joke around with everyone, if girls reciprocate you can flirt harder. Otherwise, the best part about being a good party host/life of the party is that you essentially can friend-zone girls with your actions, which makes them more interested in you.

I've had MULTIPLE girls interested in me at my parties, but because I joked with them, then pulled my attention away from them, they would start being flirtier and flirtier with me.

[Travesty]

When was the last time you got a new bang?

The subconcious frustration can be coming out in ways you can't tell.

If it's been awhile it may be time to go knock out a new 6 to get your attitude in order.

[Blackliter]

I'm at 0 bangs ever... so yes id like a 6 too lol. My college has an abundance of talent so you'll see me posting about 7+ and such.

its not the frustration that's getting me because to be honest, I don't really get frustrated till the day after or way after the party is over...then I post.

...its the cautious/friendzone approach I revert to during right after earlygame to midgame. And its not because I'm nervous or afraid of being shotdown. I lack keeping or making it sexual. I'm going to try the "picture fucking them" thing, but I still need words and phrases to come out of my mouth. on the lookout for sexual innuendos to use.

Idk might be missing something else. don't think the frustration is showing. I think my posture and skinny frame have an added effect.

[Travesty]

Blackliter, seriously if you haven't banged yet it will definitely be coming out of you in ways you could never tell.

If I were you I'd be going to the bar, party, campus, online, ANYWHERE - just go get a 6 and get a bang.

And after that one do 4 or 5 more. Then come back and see how girls treat you. I am sure it will be a world of difference.

I did not know your sexual experience before when giving advice. I'd say any girl you could get it up for with a drink or 2 in ya go after them.

You are trying to bang 8's at your house party which is fantastic, but getting some bangs out of the way will strengthen your sexual frame times 1000.

Again the easy way to start out is to keep your conversation simple ask open ended questions to chicks, make observations, let them do the talking. You still need to think about having sex with them when you are talking to them. You don't have to make innuendos right away.

Your friendzone problem is you care WAY too much about talking. It sounds like you are very chatty. Getting girls wet is about body language, posturing, short charming clever answers, and challenging chicks.

If you are talking to a chick at a house party and are watching yourself by not talking too much, then blank out on what to say, go bounce around and talk to someone else (hopefully a different chick so all the chicks get curious). I haven't seen you in action but again you only get in the friendzone by having weak non sexual body language, and by talking way too much.

Girls should be doing 80%+ of the talking when you are isolated with them. If you are speaking with a group and trying to get chicks into you then is the time to speak up. When alone the girl does the talking you do the physical escalation.

It is so important to be thinking about banging a chick when talking to them because staring into their eyes you will show confidence and dominance which will turn them on more than ANY words you can think of.

Eye contact, body language, vocal tone (speaking slowly and clearly), pregnant pauses, positioning etc... are all infinitely more important than what you say.

I almost feel like you will have to think of yourself as a huge CREEP just out for sex and even then you may not be thinking sexually enough.

If you can't imagine grabbing her by the back of the neck, slamming her against a wall, and ripping her panties off you aren't even close enough in your sexual mindset.

This isn't play nice time. It's fuck time.

[Blackliter]

I hear you Travesty. I've honestly been going after anyone that I can get it up for.. but haven't had too much success. I don't know how to pick the DTF girls so I end up shorthanded.

Its ironic how I'm the opposite for chatty, and I'm trying to focus/make up for it.. I'll be thinking sexually enough now, don't worry hah.

[HankRearden]

There's some really good advice above. I have a buddy like you whose probably at under 3 bangs.

I think the key is actually not getting worked up about it, and lowering your standards. Honestly, fuck everyone on this forum that claims they get with 9s/10s regularly. As far as losing your virginity goes, you just need to fuck ANYTHING to get your confidence up.

I promise you, once that first domino falls down the rest will come.

When I was starting out I fucked some ugly girls man, that's just the way it works.

You have to slay the dragons if you want to get to the princesses.

[MtnMan]

wow man, yea getting that first few bangs under your belt will help you infinitely. I was a late bloomer too (20), but after my first girlfriend that I banged a bunch, it was so so so much easier when I was single again to get laid. I remember having my first ONS, and being amazed how it just comes naturally. Get that bang in there man, any way you can!

[AneroidOcean]

(04-30-2014 09:18 PM)Blackliter Wrote:  

I'm at 0 bangs ever... so yes id like a 6 too lol. My college has an abundance of talent so you'll see me posting about 7+ and such.

its not the frustration that's getting me because to be honest, I don't really get frustrated till the day after or way after the party is over...then I post.

...its the cautious/friendzone approach I revert to during right after earlygame to midgame. And its not because I'm nervous or afraid of being shotdown. I lack keeping or making it sexual. I'm going to try the "picture fucking them" thing, but I still need words and phrases to come out of my mouth. on the lookout for sexual innuendos to use.

Idk might be missing something else. don't think the frustration is showing. I think my posture and skinny frame have an added effect.

If YOU think that your posture and skinny frame is affecting their reactions, you're probably right. Work on your posture, walk as if your dick is leading you, look at the many bits of information on posture and body language on this forum. There's plenty about getting to the gym. Starting strength is a good beginner program, you can do a lot just doing some lifting and getting a decent diet.

[Cobra]

A lot of us look forward to a new post from you in these threads. We see the struggles and successes because they’re real and want to cheer you on because we know you’ll be an awesome player. I am quite green to game but I’m going to take a crack to give game advice even though it’s only beginning to be my place to do so.

Get in a good mood. My game is not about approaching girls, it’s about approaching period. Talk to everyone. Be that guy. And remember, that guy THINKS he’s the shit. That being said, hitting the gym WILL improve your mood.

I’m starting to go out to enjoy myself. I put too much pressure on myself when I go out just to approach girls. That’s not the purpose of my life. It’s a benefit that I give myself.

Reading the advice in this forum can be great but it’s tough to distill and even tougher to apply with a low amount of experience. Just keep going and analyze afterwards using forum advice. Through that analysis you’ll see improvement.

The stuff you have going through your head is mostly just there, in your mind. That being said, I realize that you should hit the gym in some way shape or form if only to get rid of your limiting beliefs. I can ask you to erase them from your mind but lifting some weights will do a better job of that.

[Seth_Rose]

Blackliter, you're definitely moving in the right direction. Keep moving forward and only good things will happen.

(04-26-2014 12:54 AM)Blackliter Wrote:  

Got friend zoned HARD by every girl, and well I was so preoccupied with trying to have a good first party, basically just fell into that friend zone...

not generating that sexual attraction..nor don't know what to say. The 8 that wasn't taken, cut me down when I tried a couple small sexual undertones. sure she wasn't DTF..and its only 1 girl...but this has been repeating on too many girls.

The quote above is what you need to focus on, that is, generating sexual attraction. It is part of the foundation for good game.

Ask yourself: Why do you think that you're not able to do this?
-Are you self conscious about looks?
-Afraid of rejection?
-Afraid people will judge you for hitting on them or girls in general?

What it really all comes down to is getting out of your comfort zone. You don't have a ton of experience, so making those bold attempts at sexualizing interactions can be scary, but that's how you achieve success.

[Travesty]

The whole premise of I am guy just going out to have a good time, no pressure blah blah outcome independence....

I think that is horseshit for newbies (especially under 5 bangs) that want to become true players. I think it takes the eye way off the ball.

For advanced people sure. You have already internalized the abilities necessary and don't need to think about it. You have almost turned into a "natural".

For a beginner I think it is just better to think like a shark with blood in the water. It makes newbies take action and seek results. Which is necessary to build a good base.

As I've said before in my experience for the average newbie it is best to get the first 10 bangs (coming from any type of game) and 100 approaches outta of the way as fast as possible with girls you can get it up for. The internalization from that alone will be immense.

Oh and as far as speaking sexually with a girl whether innuendo or direct, if you aren't thinking strongly about sex and making strong eye contact first everything you say will more than likely come off an incongruent and either too jokey or just awkward. A strong sexual vibe has to be established first, sometimes when alcohol is involved this may only take 10 seconds with a girl you just met, but that mutual felt energy I believe is necessary before sexual talk which is just icing on the cake to push her over.

[Cobra]

^^^ I'm not sure I would discount mood and fun vibe for newbies as horseshit. Maybe it's different for each guy?

I can approach like a robot but if I don't have a fun vibe, I don't enjoy it. If I don't enjoy it I don't feel like I owned it. I don't disagree with being a shark with blood but this helps me get there.

I'm a newbie. It works better for me so far. Enjoying it takes some (not all) pressure off and makes the game my own game. I prefer to not see it as work. For another newbie maybe not. Or maybe I'm not such a newbie.

[Travesty]

^

It is just in my experience several guys I have given advice to in real life their number one problem isn't talking to girls or even going up to them it is flipping that crucial switch of:

Hey we're just here friendly talking to each other

to

This is me bulldozing my way into your pants

I literally have gone up to multiple friends while out with them at night and had to whisper in their ear to go for the make out or to take her by the hand onto the dance floor for grinding.

This is why I dole the information for newbies (esp. with 5 bangs or less)
to overcompensate on aggressive sexual thoughts because their visible frame is so non-sexual and non-threatening all the good vibes in the world won't get them into those panties.

Most newbies focus way to much on:

I hope this is going okay. What should I say next to keep this going. Man this is fun talking to an attractive girl instead of standing around.

Vs.

Get your head in the game damn it! Think about sex and present a sexual frame. Look for signs to go for the kill! Escalate!

When I talk to these friends afterwards they tell me they just aren't looking for signs or thinking of going for the kill, they are too wrapped up in talking. A form of pedestalization to enjoy the conversation too much and be wanting for it go on forever because they aren't thinking about getting their dick wet, they are just so happy to be in conversation with her.

[Cobra]

^^ I do see what you mean as a guy that struggles with this exact thing. I was more referring to starting the interaction and getting the vibe going but I see your point on escalation loud and clear.

Sorry if I came off as abrasive. Chalk it up to my newb mentality. I have some ways to go.

[Travesty]

^

Approaching and getting a fun vibe going are a very important first step. However with a little work (approaching / socializing) I think this step is much easier to accomplish than flipping the kill switch for newbies.

This does remind me though of especially the "I Wish I Had Game Way Back When" posts. "I wish I knew now what I knew then, all these different girls were giving me signals and I didn't act!". Most guys during their lives even if they aren't game aware or very social come across chances to bang where they just didn't have the kill switch.

I believe that the earlier as a newbie you learn to flip that kill switch the better because it results in those initial bangs that will then feed back and I think greatly improve approaching confidence, fun vibes, and frame.

Getting 5 bangs as a sexually inexperienced guy even if quality is low I think will raise their "fun vibes" out around new girls x100 because their confidence and frame will be so much stronger.

I am just trying to highlight what I feel is the most important thing to focus on to get those 5 initial bangs ASAP.

[Blackliter]

Today was the worst night so far. Went out and it was a huge event whatever with thousands out, but managed to strike out. I actually vibed well on all nights, But tonight.

I know my issues now. Travesty is right, at least for me. I don't bring a sexual vibe to the table nor am I aggressive enough. I thought I had cold approaching down, nope. I forced myself to approach 3 girls, first one shot down immediately, 2nd one talked to me till I left after figuring out she was too prude, 3rd shot down after a bit. I should've approached 15, not 3.

Issues, lets see brutally: cautious, not sexual, skinny/weak frame (I've been doing starting strength routine for over a month now w/protein shakes, etc), don't approach because don't have something to say - even like a "hey". prefer situational openers or drinking game openers. not aggressive, not sexual. coupled with not approaching. game over.

wtf am I doing guys. I'm at a place where its shooting fish in a barrel. and im managing to shoot outside the barrel. not even able to land a 5/6.

semesters over. there goes time.

[AneroidOcean]

(05-02-2014 01:44 AM)Blackliter Wrote:  

Today was the worst night so far. Went out and it was a huge event whatever with thousands out, but managed to strike out. I actually vibed well on all nights, But tonight.

I know my issues now. Travesty is right, at least for me. I don't bring a sexual vibe to the table nor am I aggressive enough. I thought I had cold approaching down, nope. I forced myself to approach 3 girls, first one shot down immediately, 2nd one talked to me till I left after figuring out she was too prude, 3rd shot down after a bit. I should've approached 15, not 3.

Issues, lets see brutally: cautious, not sexual, skinny/weak frame (I've been doing starting strength routine for over a month now w/protein shakes, etc), don't approach because don't have something to say - even like a "hey". prefer situational openers or drinking game openers. not aggressive, not sexual. coupled with not approaching. game over.

wtf am I doing guys. I'm at a place where its shooting fish in a barrel. and im managing to shoot outside the barrel. not even able to land a 5/6.

semesters over. there goes time.

Nope, women are EVERYWHERE. You need to learn to flirt and game women that you aren't necessarily pursuing sexually. Go read some of Dannyfrom504's blog. You need to take this opportunity to game where you can and focus on the rest of your improvements while you're not in pussy paradise so you can shoot those fish when you get back.

[Blackliter]

ignore previous comment...was drunk and yes the frustration showed later that night. ill take care of it. Not that easy implementing everything, especially when you can't watch yourself or have someone critique in person. Thanks for the blog note, some pretty good posts.

Thanks for all the info, advice guys. always appreciated.

[RX2]

Good progress Blackliter. Keep it up.

Two things I always have in mind when out and about.

Life is too short not to try...fuck it, why not go for the kiss...fuck it why not escalate...fuck it why not go for the bang?

It might be the last time you see her. Women will respect a guy more when he actually tries to go for it. They will think you're weak and lose respect for you for not going for it when you had the chance. If you're thinking about going in for a kiss, do it. Life IS too short not to go for it.

Let me ask you this...what is the worst thing that can happen? She says no. That's it. At least you tried and won't be left wondering "what if?"

Trust me, we've all missed chances and now look back and say "FUCKKKK". If I only knew then what I know now. My count would at least double, easy.

[Travesty]

You will look back at these posts and laugh a few months from now if you keep at it.

Keep socializing try to throw more parties in the future like the last one.

If you keep going to 300 approaches I guarantee you that you will get one.

The thing to remember is after that first one for someone like you that puts in the effort to approach, socialize, and go to big events it will snowball BIG TIME.

You may get one bang then end up knocking down another handful in the few months after. From there the sky will be the limit.

[Blackliter]

Drunk again lol. You're prob right Travesty yet again. I'll laugh at these posts in a couple months.

Learned about wines today while looking a fool. I have a bottle of moscoto..first wine ever bought.. thought it was red, but its white?
Also said I wanted to "pop" a bottle of wine...yea.. said both of those things to the host who's an alpha guy ish.. i think he forgave me though, but I looked like a complete idiot and I'm older...

Anyways, made no approaches at this house party because most of the girls were gfs with bfs there. Played more social game. I literally met 5 new guys who if I see again in the fall will be good friends.

Idk why, but I'm really good at turning guys into friends. Tbh, I have under 15 friends who are girls..compared to like 100 guys...phonebook.

Anyways, it was interesting. Vibed well, kinda gave up on getting laid - at the party (don't worry haha). chilled, socialized a bunch.

[classicjimmy]

As a newbie to game, you need to go out and be too aggressive, come on too strong and do stuff that you think would never work. You'd be pleasantly surprised at how well women respond to a guy being aggressive and trying to get what he wants. If she rejects you then, odds are, especially at your level of game, that you'd never pull it off