[Biologist]

(03-16-2014 01:28 PM)WestIndianArchie Wrote:  

If this is just 1 girl, i'd write it off as a loss.

If this is several girls over the course of a few months, then something's going wrong with your process.

I totally agree.

I've had experiences similar to what you're describing. It would probably be best to move onto the next one.

[Handsome Creepy Eel]

(03-17-2014 11:09 AM)BlurredSevens Wrote:  

What time are these dates going down? Sounds like you are starting them too early. Don't meet her for drinks until 9pm or later. That way she won't plan to meet her friends later on in the night.

OR, just invite her over to your place for drinks at 930pm. Problem solved.

The earliest one (including the one listed in example) was 4 p.m., and the latest one was 7 p.m. It's a good idea, I'll try to make 7 p.m. the start of the possible date bracket instead.

[Santoro]

I do better getting dates when I stick to just to logistics discussion---->date. Most of the building comfort texting stuff comes off as corny or try hard to me...I certainly don't have fun doing it. If I'm unsure whether or not I want to see her I'll give her a call to get a vibe.

Either she wants it or she doesn't. My sales pitch is basically that there is no sale pitch.

[BlurredSevens]

(03-17-2014 11:30 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

(03-17-2014 11:09 AM)BlurredSevens Wrote:  

What time are these dates going down? Sounds like you are starting them too early. Don't meet her for drinks until 9pm or later. That way she won't plan to meet her friends later on in the night.

OR, just invite her over to your place for drinks at 930pm. Problem solved.

The earliest one (including the one listed in example) was 4 p.m., and the latest one was 7 p.m. It's a good idea, I'll try to make 7 p.m. the start of the possible date bracket instead.

7pm is still early amigo! "Drinks at 9pm." She'll balk about it being too late, then you lie and say you have to wake up "super early" so you can't stay out late with her. It's disarming but also subtly sets the tone that you want to get her drunk and bang, not become her boyfriend.

[ddjembe mutombo]

My assumption (given: online meetup) is that the girl is expecting another dud. Remember, in the online dating world these girls are probably going on new dates several nights a week if not every evening. The dud to decent ration is probably pretty high. Given that... maybe she scheduled with her friend (or sometimes another date) because she was expecting to be in-n-out//disappointed all in an hour.

[Orion]

"You will get flaked on until the day you die"

Little to do except to give up ONS hope

[Distant Light]

Alot of my girls do this...




I personally NEVER go on dates because the chicks are RANDOM and IMO that time can be spent with people I actually already know and love.

With RANDOMs I don't know if I would even like her which is why I just invite people to come along with me. Things are much more informal and even if I dislike her (or she dislikes me) we both didn't waste time because she can meet other people within the group. (or in whatever setting were in)

[Giovonny]

(03-17-2014 02:41 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

Giovonny Wrote:

That is a "blind date". That is what is happening.

If the girl was ugly or annoying, you would leave to, right?

Maybe, but I wouldn't plan it ahead of time

Why not?

In this scenario of "online-to-blind date"..

I think its actually quite common for both men and women to arrange a possible "back up plan" just in case their "internet date" is a failure.

You shouldn't feel disrespected by this.

(03-17-2014 02:41 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

and I surely wouldn't continue laughing and touching her if I found her unattractive.

Why not?

I often laugh and touch unattractive girls just to make them feel good and not make them feel like I am totally rejecting them. I see it as sort of a "soft' rejection.

Maybe, by touching you and laughing, she was rejecting you "softly"..

Who knows? It doesn't matter... Just move on to the next girl.

(03-17-2014 02:41 AM)Handsome Creepy Eel Wrote:  

How is it my fault that I have to pull some Houdini shit to get with a girl?

It's not your fault, it's not anybody's fault..

It's just 2 mammals in the wild looking for a mate.

The female looks at you, smells you, talks to you, gets your vibe; and then she makes her decision. If she doesn't want you..?

Next!

[Off The Reservation]

Not Taking girls out too early in the evening is a good way to prevent this.

[RatInTheWoods]

I think its to limit her to a meet and greet and to safeguard against you getting the bang.

[XPQ22]

Old thread, but it bears repeating that these "meet and greet" online dates pretty much never go anywhere. I read the OP and his experience doesn't seem any different than what I've experienced with probably two dozen girls by now who were timewasters.

Things to do are a) don't meet at coffeeshops/other bullshit locations unless you absolutely have no choice, c) try to make the date at a venue close to other places you'd actually like to be (say a nightlife location where there are other women) so you're not completely left flapping in the wind if she ejects, c) don't make your date until the sun goes down, which in the summer months means no earlier than 8 PM, so if she wants to waste your time she can, but she's going to have a difficult time rushing home to get ready to go out with her friends.

I'm very reticent these days to make dates at any place resembling a bar or restaurant, because it puts them in that "speed dating" mindest. I'd much rather take my chances with pitching the idea of smoking weed in the parking lot of the Natural History museum and staring at the dinosaur skeletons then sitting with her over cocktails. The latter is what they expect and are used to, and why do we want to fight on their terms?

[Cogon]

(03-16-2014 01:43 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

It's probably a safeguard for meeting guys online, as you say. There are even cell services and "bad date rescue apps" for this purpose.

Here is where I think you and the Millennial generation are going wrong:

"After messaging a girl and online and exchanging 3-5 messages, I invite her out for drinks."

In the pre-text days, I'd build up landline rapport with girls before meeting them. I've written about this at Roissy's: sometimes I'd build up so much rapport through talking we'd have a sort of "mental phone sex." By the time I'd meet these girls, they'd be pretty comfortable with me. So any failure was due to my errors, not "stranger danger" paranoia, which can be impossible to overcome.

IMO you need more pre-date interaction than just texts. Most women need to meet a potential boyfriend or lay, not a stranger. The power of the human voice and the power of persuasion is a very important thing. You can set yourself up for greatness with a good phone convo. You can talk away negatives. Without one, I think you're operating at a loss. (But if younger women don't like to talk on the phone anymore, though, I don't know what to tell you.)

Finally, what image are you putting out? Have you ever videotaped yourself and watched it? A lot of guys come off more intense than they realize and seeing yourself recorded can expose this.* I think if women meet a stranger and the intensity is too great too soon, their instincts tell them to flee -- no matter how good looking you are. You might have to kick back and be more indifferent.

* A bit of knowledge passed on to me by the owner of a historic movie theater who got a regular TV gig and was so mortified by the way he came off, he worked for weeks to make himself "Not look like an angry Frankenstein." He ended up a popular local personality.

Wanna know my date rescue app? Its not even an app, but a simple process invloving how you are able to send messages in Asia to your own number!. In Asia when I want a change in plans to appear legit, all I do is first make my own number saved as contact and labeled as some other american male like Ralph. I send texts to my own number which immediately appear as a text from "Ralph" which she has no idea these are just 'boomerang' texts to my own number masquerading as Ralph lol : "Hi we are here at church waiting for you, are you coming???"
me: O I guess I gotta go to this church event. I am religous!
lol Thats how I do it!

[Ice]

(08-22-2016 07:22 AM)Cogon Wrote:  

(03-16-2014 01:43 PM)Days of Broken Arrows Wrote:  

It's probably a safeguard for meeting guys online, as you say. There are even cell services and "bad date rescue apps" for this purpose.

Here is where I think you and the Millennial generation are going wrong:

"After messaging a girl and online and exchanging 3-5 messages, I invite her out for drinks."

In the pre-text days, I'd build up landline rapport with girls before meeting them. I've written about this at Roissy's: sometimes I'd build up so much rapport through talking we'd have a sort of "mental phone sex." By the time I'd meet these girls, they'd be pretty comfortable with me. So any failure was due to my errors, not "stranger danger" paranoia, which can be impossible to overcome.

IMO you need more pre-date interaction than just texts. Most women need to meet a potential boyfriend or lay, not a stranger. The power of the human voice and the power of persuasion is a very important thing. You can set yourself up for greatness with a good phone convo. You can talk away negatives. Without one, I think you're operating at a loss. (But if younger women don't like to talk on the phone anymore, though, I don't know what to tell you.)

Finally, what image are you putting out? Have you ever videotaped yourself and watched it? A lot of guys come off more intense than they realize and seeing yourself recorded can expose this.* I think if women meet a stranger and the intensity is too great too soon, their instincts tell them to flee -- no matter how good looking you are. You might have to kick back and be more indifferent.

* A bit of knowledge passed on to me by the owner of a historic movie theater who got a regular TV gig and was so mortified by the way he came off, he worked for weeks to make himself "Not look like an angry Frankenstein." He ended up a popular local personality.

Wanna know my date rescue app? Its not even an app, but a simple process invloving how you are able to send messages in Asia to your own number!. In Asia when I want a change in plans to appear legit, all I do is first make my own number saved as contact and labeled as some other american male like Ralph. I send texts to my own number which immediately appear as a text from "Ralph" which she has no idea these are just 'boomerang' texts to my own number masquerading as Ralph lol : "Hi we are here at church waiting for you, are you coming???"
me: O I guess I gotta go to this church event. I am religous!
lol Thats how I do it!

It's an old thread, but to the OP's question:

Well if you sent up the date at 4pm - 7pm, what do you expect? Of course she will have other plans for later, she's not planning to hang out with you from 4pm to 1am ..

As was mentioned before, don't set up dates before 9pm - problem solved.

[Dantes]

From what you reported, seems like your Game was fine. I would chalk this up to online dating. This has happened to me one time that I recall and it was an online date. Some girls are hesitant to invest a lot of time before they know you. Her later plans were certainly prearranged. Online has its advantages, but this will most likely not happen with daygame.

Culture and context also matter. From an alternate point of view, I recently kept a first date (Tinder) to an hour. I cut it short saying that I had made plans for friends later in the evening. My reasoning was that first dates in Ukraine often don't go anywhere. I find it best to set up a simple first date (walk in the park or coffee) to build rapport and interest. This should be followed by a drink date on the second meeting, during the evening.

Thanks for sharing this experience. I don't recall seeing this discussed before.