[peterthephoenix]

Laughed pretty hard with this one. Girl requests temp open relationship for 3 month holiday with her friend, beta (sleeping alpha) boyfriend ends up fucking other girls. http://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comme...ationship/

Quote:

Saw this in r/relationships. Was able to copy the text before it got deleted. I guess she couldn't handle the heat people were giving her hahaha

TLDR - Before my vacation i [F24] asked my boyfriend [M25] to open our relationship temporarily. Now hes regularly having sex with some girl in our apartment and im heartbroken

Im pretty fucking upset rigth now , Im going to do my best to explain everything thats happened.

Ive had an extended holiday (3 months) planned with my best friend (Tory) for years. We have always talked about it and my boyfriend (Daniel) knew we were going to do it. She finally finished college this December and we put our plan into action.

Another friend (Michelle) went on a similar trip years ago. She and her friend both had longterm boyfriends at the time, and they both ended up cheating on the trip. A while later their friendship fell apart, and they both revealed each others infidelity. It got ugly. Michelle and her boyfriend broke up, her (ex)friend stayed with her boyfriend but from the sounds of it their relationship was severely damaged.

At first i thought they were absolutely horrible for doing it, but after talking to her i could see their side of things - months of no sexual contact/release, being in a party atmosphere, of course there would be temptation. She's young, attractive and gets lots of male attention. The encounter was purely sexual, she was drunk, and they used protection. The next day the boy was out of her life completely and that was it. I vehementely disagreed with doing all this behind her boyfriends back though.

Talking with Michelle about a month ago, she asked what im going to do about Daniel. I honestly hadnt thought about it like that, i felt like i could easily go 3 months without having sex. And id never want to betray Daniel's trust. But Michelle made a good case for 'opening' our relationship while i was away - she said (paraphrasing): "Of course you love Daniel. But traveling is about experiencing new things, and that includes sex. Youll say it wont happen now, but you just have to trust me that once youre their youll feel different. Daniel is going to wonder either way if youre fucking other guys on your trip. Just be upfront with him and see what he says."

And so that night i talked to him about it. I explained that i wasnt going to be looking to fuck every guy i see that im attracted to, and that my love for him was as strong as ever, but i also wanted to be able act freely and party like other girls my age. It was more contingency if anything - i dont plan on fucking other guys, but if it happens it happens. A nigth of partying half the world away with people ill never see again shouldnt ruin what we had here. Id insist on using protection. And of course he would have the same opportunity as me, he would be able to freely see girls if he chose to. He wasnt happy, but said he understood. He said "Youve tied my hands. If i tell you i forbid it, ill still be worried if youre being true to your word. By expressing that this is what you want, theres nothing i can do to stop you".

Daniels a bit of a homebody - he goes out with his friends on occassion, but most nights he spends in our apartment playing video games or watching netflix. Given his lifestyle i wasnt overly worried hed be hooking up with all these random girls.

Me and Tory left on February 17. Its been eye-opening and a ton of fun. But its also been stressful. We havent done any partying, we talked to some guys one night but nothing came of it. Tonight i checked my email at an internet cafe and there was a message from Kay, a sweet old lady who lives above us in our apartment complex.

"I have debated for days whether to send this to you and potentially ruin your vacation. But you deserve to know the truth. Daniel has been seeing another woman since you left. There is no doubt that he is seeing her, she has come over most nights and I have heard them being intimate. You deserve so much better. I'm so sorry."

I thought i could handle this open relationship arrangement. I cant. This message shattered my heart into a million pieces. This isnt what i intended at all, i wanted the freedom to act in the moment. He is taking this as a free pass to regularly fuck some girl. And i have a feeling i know exactly who it is, a girl from his work who was always overly flirty with him.

I regret ever taking Michelles advice and opening my stupid mouth. I dont want him to fuck other girls, i dont want to fuck other guys. I want this slut out of my apartment NOW!!! I am a fucking wreck and need other womens opinions. Tory has been so unhelpful, basically telling me to grow up and that i got what i asked for. No shit?! People arent allowed to change their minds or regret their decisions?!

How do I go about contacting him and expressing that this needs to stop NOW without coming across like a crazy hypocritical bitch? And let him know that i will be 100% faithful on my trip? I dont even know how i am going to look at him when i get home. I am beyond hurt, this feels so wrong and so sick.

I am going to bed now to try and get some sleep, i will check and respond to all comments tomorrow morning. Thank you

EDIT: guys, seriously stop it. I know i fucked up, i brought it all on myself. Kicking me while im down isnt helping. Im not asking for your opinion on my stupid selfish decision, im asking the best way to approach this and fix it.

Tory says i should email him saying "what i said before about opening our relationship was a mistake. I havent slept with anyone here and i dont want to. Youre my parter and i dont want to compromise what we have. Please be faithful as I will be to you. I love you." Simply dont tell him about Kay's email or that i know there's another woman. Thoughts?

[WestIndianArchie]

(02-23-2014 01:48 PM)peterthephoenix Wrote:  

"I have debated for days whether to send this to you and potentially ruin your vacation. But you deserve to know the truth. Daniel has been seeing another woman since you left. There is no doubt that he is seeing her, she has come over most nights and I have heard them being intimate. You deserve so much better. I'm so sorry."

[vinman]

Quote:

"I have debated for days whether to send this to you and potentially ruin your vacation. But you deserve to know the truth. Daniel has been seeing another woman since you left. There is no doubt that he is seeing her, she has come over most nights and I have heard them being intimate. You deserve so much better. I'm so sorry."

Quote:

I thought i could handle this open relationship arrangement. I cant. This message shattered my heart into a million pieces. This isnt what i intended at all, i wanted the freedom to act in the moment. He is taking this as a free pass to regularly fuck some girl. And i have a feeling i know exactly who it is, a girl from his work who was always overly flirty with him.

I regret ever taking Michelles advice and opening my stupid mouth. I dont want him to fuck other girls, i dont want to fuck other guys. I want this slut out of my apartment NOW!!! I am a fucking wreck and need other womens opinions. Tory has been so unhelpful, basically telling me to grow up and that i got what i asked for. No shit?! People arent allowed to change their minds or regret their decisions?!

How do I go about contacting him and expressing that this needs to stop NOW without coming across like a crazy hypocritical bitch? And let him know that i will be 100% faithful on my trip? I dont even know how i am going to look at him when i get home. I am beyond hurt, this feels so wrong and so sick.

[Bacchus]

If she hadn't received word that her man was getting some on the side, she would have strayed. Discovering that she didn't have hand in the relationship (plus jealousy) boosted her desire for her man and killed her urge for foreign cock. Be careful what you wish for.

[American Rampage]

Here's an archive of the original thread's comments: http://redditlog.com/snapshots/267377

Quote:

Daniels a bit of a homebody - he goes out with his friends on occassion, but most nights he spends in our apartment playing video games or watching netflix. Given his lifestyle i wasnt overly worried hed be hooking up with all these random girls.

Quote:

I thought i could handle this open relationship arrangement. I cant. This message shattered my heart into a million pieces. This isnt what i intended at all, i wanted the freedom to act in the moment. He is taking this as a free pass to regularly fuck some girl. And i have a feeling i know exactly who it is, a girl from his work who was always overly flirty with him.

She admits the "open" relationship was going to be one-sided in her favor because her boyfriend is too beta to attract a better mate. But he fucks another girl within the week. Freedom goes both ways.

[Comte De St. Germain]

We need more guys doing exactly this.

[dads]

Mad props to the guy. He is in for the best sex of his life when she comes back.

[MikeCF]

This is fantastic.

[FilipSRB]

Beautiful and heartwarming story.

[runsonmagic]

Quote:

I want this slut out of my apartment NOW!!!

Hey, hey, hey...

Don't slut shame.

[pheonix500000]

Reading stuff like this really give me hope that a lot of guys out there isnt as far gone as i thought.

[Wargasm]

It would be funny if he was actually the one to send her the email from "kay."

[j r]

Ha. Heartwarming was the exact word that came to my mind as well.

[kinjutsu]

This is fucking awesome.
Good on the dude for not losing a step over this bs.
Maybe he's been fucking this girl the whole time but now he doesn't have to hide it anymore.

[RawGod]

She's the mature age of 24 and living with her boyfriend - biologically, they are basically "married". Yet here she is being encouraged down the path of partying and non-monogamy by her girlfriends, against her own instincts. Sad to say, this is happening on a wide scale due to social and media influence, and fucking up a lot of people. Not saying she's blameless here, she's just a sheep and being led down one particular direction because it's the way things are in our society right now.

[Blaster]

Loved the little mini story about the two girlfriends who went on vacation together. Both cheated and lied to their boyfriends, then they turned each other in.

[Ingocnito]

"It was more contingency if anything - i dont plan on fucking other guys, but if it happens it happens. A nigth of partying half the world away with people ill never see again shouldnt ruin what we had here. Id insist on using protection. And of course he would have the same opportunity as me, he would be able to freely see girls if he chose to. He wasnt happy, but said he understood. He said "Youve tied my hands. If i tell you i forbid it, ill still be worried if youre being true to your word. By expressing that this is what you want, theres nothing i can do to stop you" << Kudos to this cat for maintaining his frame in this great response~!

Women shouldn't even take a smidge of advice from other women, this just proves how flawed women's logic is, even if it's logic based on an 'emotional' conquest.

So funny this broad thinks she's got this upper hand just because she can "plan a fucking trip," and that this trip automatically gives her the right to tread on her dude in an exclusive LTR.

What she surely didn't plan for are the uncertainties when traveling as well. However, it's pretty certain that any 6+ can spread her legs just about anywhere in the world and catch a dick. Dude had more certainty at home base. whoops.

Clearly, she felt she'd be able to bang some guys abroad, and being up front about it somehow wasn't 'cheating' per se. Prime example of how men are the gatekeepers of commitment, and women the gatekeepers of sex. Great story.

[placer]

There is precisely one way this selfish, stupid lady can recover the relationship: "Would you and your new girl be down for threesomes every night with me?"

The lesson for the girl is: Alphas who believe in long term relationships (LTRs) can and will sometimes act a little beta to keep the LTR going. But, that doesn't make them a simp you can walk all over.

The lesson for the guy is: Don't ever let your girl forget that you're still alpha. Be in charge, don't act needy, and sometimes even openly flirt with other girls in front of her time to time so she doesn't forget to treat you right.

[Kabal]

Something about sloots getting their comeuppance brings a tear to my eye.

It's so rare to witness girls have to face the consequences of their shitty actions.

[Christian McQueen]

Me thinks I'll read this story to tuck my chicks in at night as their bedtime story.

Fucking. Classic. Karma.

[Glock]

This is the funniest thing I've read in months.

[casio]

this is great

[LeonsGreenWifeBeater]

color me surprised that a woman named "Tory" is a vacation whore.

[WanderingSoul]

I love how the lady who lives by them tells her how she deserves so much better than him. She automatically assumes the guy is a scumbag and it's all his fault and the girl is so sweet and worthy of some great man.

I see this on Facebook all of the time. A couple breaks up, people flock to her FB saying how great and beautiful she is, what a great person she is, and how she deserves so much better. Just saw this again today.

The hilarious part? The girl they were saying this about is married, and followed me from the bar to my house one night and tried to fuck me. I had to dip into my bedroom with a different chick to get her off of me. Where was her husband? At home watching their two babies.

I hear she's done the same thing to a couple of other guys as well. But today, the guy is a scumbag liar and she's beautiful and deserves only the best. She's such a good person.

[Statsi]

Daniel is a beast, game recognised. This story brings to mind an open relationship thread on this forum, where someone said that you can offer a girl a non-exclusive deal up front and still have her be exclusive to you cause girls really don't get happiness from multiple conquests. You gotta be strong enough to actually not care if she sleeps with other dudes, and she might for a little while, inevitably she'll just be with you and you can do what you want.