[Sebastian]

I didn't know what else to do so I am asking very experienced person for opinions.

I met this girl at a kitchen in hostel. She was very friendly from the beginning. I would describe her as a down to earth girl who hangs out with bunch of guys at a bar drinking PBR but with a cute face. I had that eye from her during conversation.
It was going well till another traveler walked in.

After some conversation, he asked her 'so you guys took train together'
and he looked at me. (obviously she said 'oh no we didn't come together'
I knew what was up from that point.

I brought my food to the dining table. she sat little later across from me and we talked little bit.
he came, sat next to her and started asking about places she would recommend. I didn't want to step into their conversation.('oh xxxx? I've been there blah blah)
So I just ate my food and did my own thing while overhearing his annoying overexpressions (oh my godddd, it's awesoooome etc)
he asked her if she wanted to check out the bar. she said sure.
there was his friend and a guy he just met. (all from the same country)
So one girl and 3 guys from same country. plus they will kiss the fuck out of her ass hoping to get some action. Did I want to be in that group? no.

So the guy went to his room to get changed. she asked me 'are you coming out tonight?' (With sweet voice and cute face)
I said No and she showed 'I didn't expect to hear that' upset face.

when I ran into her again before she went out, she gave me a cold look.
she thought I was a such bitter person?
But what can I say? the guy asked her to join them, not me.

What should I have done? I can't think of something better.

Going out had to happen since she likes talking to several guys and he would ask her to join them.
My option was whether to go or not to go.
If I went there, the conversation would be all around her. she will be center of the spot. (guys will not directly ask me questions. I can talk to guys directly too but with knowing what they have in mind, I wouldn't feel comfortable.so they talk to her and I talk to her sort of thing.)
I just couldn't see myself being in that spot.

Did I just chicken out and am I making an excuse?

[BoiBoi]

If you dont feel like hanging out with this group, just approach another girl in another venue. Problem solved.

[Vicious]

Quote:

I didn't want to step into their conversation.

Exit stage left.

You disqualified yourself.

And she probably read you right about being bitter. You sat there and sulked.

Next time that happens you get in there.

[WestIndianArchie]

Yeah, you chickened out. Happens to all of us at some point.

Won't comment on the hostel aspect, as I've never dealt with that situation.

[Comte De St. Germain]

Compete if you can outclass them. It's all a matter of appearing as the coolest guy in the group with the girl on his arm.

[Onto]

Vicious is right. When he stepped on your turf at the table, that was the time to dominate and negate the fucker. You didn't so she went with the more dominate guy.

You might have been able to pull a save when she asked if you were coming out. You could've negged those guys and offered her something better with someting like, "With those guys?" in a smirking jester, "I'm going to check out such and such place if you want to come along". Then it's her choice.

You could've went out with them and battled all night and "perhaps" get the bang if that's what you were looking for, but you would've had to step up in a way that you already didn't do at the table before.

That all said, by the sounds of this girl you didn't exactly miss out on anything of quality. Just another travelling slut with a goddess-complex. They are a dime a dozen.

[tylerdurden1993]

Assess the situation at the start you should of maybe interjected yourself into the conversation just to keep up appearances. Just don't let it get to the point when your obviously competing. Most girls engineer these situations with guys competing over them as its like they're the star of their own TV show.

[Onto]

About 10 years ago I was in a similar situation in the cafeteria at work. The girl ( much younger) was sitting next me and some young buck rolled up with his friend and sat on the other side of her. He knew her and was obviously interested in her. I was kind of too, but not that much. Regardless, I don't let anyone step in on me that way without making them pay a price for it. For me, it's more about justice and perhaps pride, than the girl.

I can't remember what I said exactly, but my strategy was to include and engage him directly in our conversation. The whole time I'm waiting for and striking at opportunities to neg and poke fun at him a little without bieng too obvious. Eventually he just turned away quietly and ate his lunch. I continued talking with the the girl and we left together moments later.

I'll never forget her face the whole time, bieng sandwiched between the two guys wondering who will win her and not helping either of us. When the guy finally aquiesed I remember the beaming smile of surprise on her face as she looked at me. Though I could've banged her, I threw her back into the lake.

For me, what I did at the table wasn't about her, it was about standing up for yourself, and maybe that's troubling you more than not banging some PBR drinking floozie. No worries, next time you'll be ready with a sharper sword at your side

[Wayout]

OP...you got AMOGed! I've been in this situation a thousand times,especially in hostels! Well..I've done it both ways and I can't say I would fight for anyone again. More than likely none of those guys banged her! She uses men for attention and entertainment because you give it to her! You would be like her too if the roles been reversed. And the only wayout is to leave this situation and find a girl who likes you. Yes..you can stick it out and battle all night for her attention but chances are - you aren't getting laid with her. I've seen this so many times it sickens me. One trick is to get her cell phone number and undermine those guys through text messaging. Girls can't fight against their natural instinct to look at their phone every 5 seconds! Get her through text game - and isolate the first chance you get!

[XXL]

(02-18-2014 07:31 AM)Sebastian Wrote:  

So the guy went to his room to get changed. she asked me 'are you coming out tonight?' (With sweet voice and cute face)
I said No and she showed 'I didn't expect to hear that' upset face.

when I ran into her again before she went out, she gave me a cold look.
she thought I was a such bitter person?
But what can I say? the guy asked her to join them, not me.

What should I have done? I can't think of something better.

I'd ask her "are you inviting me?" or "you want me to go with you?". If yes then I'd tell her to find me when she's ready.

Bar/club: chat up some girls and introduce them to her while you're with her, flirt with all, drink, "let's go dance", escalate on the dancefloor, kiss, more, if with tongue and she looks dtf, "let's go outside to smoke", flirt to keep it hot, "why do we pay for drinks here? let's pick cheap booze and make fun drinks at where we're staying", take hand and lead her there.

Room: flirt, drink, fool around for a bit, escalate, kiss, 'hand on dick' move, "look what you did!", dick comes out, blowjob, sex.


PS. Wrong title of the tread. Should have been... HOW DO YOU COMPETE WITH YOURSELF? From what you wrote that guy didn't do anything beside giving you one look [whoa lol]. You just said no to her and that's all. You didn't lose. You just didn't fight. Shit happens

[AneroidOcean]

(02-18-2014 07:31 AM)Sebastian Wrote:  

It was going well till another traveler walked in.

After some conversation, he asked her 'so you guys took train together'
and he looked at me. (obviously she said 'oh no we didn't come together'
I knew what was up from that point.

I brought my food to the dining table. she sat little later across from me and we talked little bit.
he came, sat next to her and started asking about places she would recommend. I didn't want to step into their conversation.('oh xxxx? I've been there blah blah)
So I just ate my food and did my own thing while overhearing his annoying overexpressions (oh my godddd, it's awesoooome etc)
he asked her if she wanted to check out the bar. she said sure.

Vicious, WestIndianArchie, and XXL all covered it pretty well, but I wanted to point out the bolded above.

She was interested enough to COME OVER TO you and have conversation with you. Then when the other guy sat at your table and interrupted, you didn't check him, you just rolled over like a possum playing dead. You were too scared to do what he did to you. Why?

There are many ways to handle it that can result in a positive outcome, but that's not one. Then you got a second chance and chose a poor way to handle it too.

I think you need to be less bitter and more accepting of yourself. You are being very negative, which will only result in negative outcomes in your life. You obviously have decent stuff going on for you as you have women interested in you. Capitalize on it, don't get thrown off by things you can't control, control yourself and you'll end up where you want to be.

[Sebastian]

Yes I agree with you guys.

It's just my personality and it's culturally related too I believe.

I don't invade them when I see a guy and a girl talking to each other with an intetion of hitting on her, out of respect for another guy. I act this way and I expect the same in return.
That's why I get lost when something like this happens. If you hang out with me, such things will never happen unless a girl is deeply interested in me and shows an obvious sign.

I ran into her this morning. she smiled at me so I walked up to her and talked little bit.
she seemed happy to talk to me. She was going to downtown area with those 3 guys. I believe they will take care of her well so it's ok with me.
I think I am going to make comments about how it was, how she must had fun since they should've took care of her like a little sister (paying for her and shit)

They all don't have a car. so I guess I will just ask her if she wants to come out to grab a drink with me. I can only carry one person due to bunch of stuffs so that would be a good excuse.

[Dagonet]

Some of the stuff guys have pointed out already is valid. There were a few critical junctures where you could've made a more favorable move.

My personal philosophy is not to directly engage an "AMOG" if he's playing that game, but to hold my own frame and show that he's not on my level. If that means just sitting quietly and finishing my meal while he acts like a clown, and then heading out for my night of solo pussy-slaying, that's all good with me. She will probably notice your confident, unshakeable vibe and come find you at the end of the night after exhausting her highs of getting attention from the thirsty orbiters.

With that said, if you're sitting at the table and he comes over and interrupts, you should hang in there and go a few rounds with him. See if you can get him to look dumb or go away, leaving you to proceed with the girl and build upon the momentum you had started creating.

As soon as possible after he joins, you'll want to re-set the frame to your own. If he interjects with, "So what bars do you guys like around here?" She will give a response. Then bring up a new topic, as if you're including him. "Her and I were just talking about (random landmark), I find it really fascinating how it relates to the local history..." Transition this into a personal ramble, telling a high-value story from one of your past travels (make up a fake story if you want, as long as it's good). Try to make the girl laugh, then ask if she has experienced anything like that. She'll respond, making it a conversation between the 2 of you again, and the other guy will look out of place when he inevitably tries to chime in.

If you get the sense that he's going to stick around and keep chasing her, make an early exit on your own terms. Look directly at her (ignoring the guy) and tell her in a confident tone that you're going to head back to your room and get ready for the night out. If she doesn't immediately take the bait and ask about your plans (which she probably will), go right ahead and tell her she should meet up later on because it's going to be a fun night. Get her number, still ignoring the other guy. If you can make concrete plans at this point, that is ideal because the frame is that everything is on your terms, even if it's with the group. If the orbiter dude chimes in with "Me and the guys were gonna go to (wherever)" that's fine, you can look at the girl and act like the 2 of you are accepting the invitation together. Almost like that guy is just your concierge serving you up plans.

At that point, your work is done, and head out while you're still on top. You can't prevent other guys from trying to hit on her, but as a member of the RVF and a man versed in Game, you should be able to live and die by the skill of yours. If someone else can top your performance, then he won a fair fight.

But that's how to handle that shit.

If it doesn't work, realize that you might be even better off getting to roll out solo and not have the first, somewhat mediocre girl be your only good prospect of the night, monopolizing most of your time and energy.

[Vicious]

(02-18-2014 07:53 PM)Sebastian Wrote:  

Yes I agree with you guys.

It's just my personality and it's culturally related too I believe.

Change your personality. Fuck your culture - throw it out like a used condom.

Every guy on this board that's now smashing girls has changed his personality from something he wasn't satisfied with.