[Spider]

When I was 17, I had a serious girlfriend for about a year. Parents adored her. Like many of you here, I wound up being cheated on, got my ass kicked to the curb, and remained a pathetic emotional wreck for several months after.

I swore to never let that happen again, to not let girls push me around, and to become better at meeting and hooking up with girls…think I discovered Roosh V by typing into google something like this: "How do I get over my ex-girlfriend?" - lol

Fast forward a few years, and I'm at a very happy point in my life. I'm enjoying college, and slaying girls with ease. Whether it be 18 year old freshman from school, or 25-30 year old women back home in New York City, my game has come a very long way…I do not get emotionally attached to girls, save a few rotation pieces I keep around at home or at school, who I try to see at max once or twice a week.

Anyway…this past winter break, I had to deal with a lot of interrogation from my parents. My mom keeps telling me I'm a massogonist, and my father continually tells me that he raised a 'gentleman', not someone who only uses girls for sex…Over the course of my 4 week christmas break, I brought 7 girls back to my place to have sex. Several of them were girls from high-school etc. that I had already slept with, while a few were new notches. I walk them to a cab outside when I am ready to send them home, rather than let them sleepover. My dad just sent me this email:

"Have a safe trip back to ______. Feel better and take care of yourself. Sounds like you need a little more rest. As you continue on this journey to find your soul mate, have fun but always remember that everyone you meet, everyone you encounter deserves to be treated with respect and decency. No if ands or buts. With respect and decency. As we discussed briefly, for you, convincing a beautiful young woman to sleep with you is the easy and fun part but for what it is worth, what I came to realize and it took me a long time to come to this realization, is that I wanted to be with someone who was not only beautiful and smart like Mom, but equally important someone who really shared my values. Someone who was ambitious, independent and had her own thoughts and ideas. But maybe most importantly, what I came to realize is that I wanted to be with someone who would be a real partner in all aspects of my life--financially, emotionally, spiritually etc. A relationship takes a lot of work, there are plenty of ups and downs and lots of sacrifices to make but having a real partner in life makes it a whole lot easier. Enough of my philosophizing. Dad"

Aside from this email, they constantly ask me why I don't have a girlfriend, and why I feel the need to see multiple girls. They warn me that this is not the path to a happy relationship etc.

I usually respond my telling them it takes time to find the right girl, and that it's important for me to see different people now so that I ultimately know what I am looking for.

Do you guys get questioned or critiqued by your family/friends?

If so, how do you respond?

[RawGod]

(01-15-2014 07:55 PM)Spider Wrote:  

convincing a beautiful young woman to sleep with you is the easy and fun part

Bet your poor old dad had a semi chub as he wrote that, thinking of the hottest girl you brought back

But seriously, get your own place. Bringing back 7 girls in a few weeks to the family home is going to rub people the wrong way. What did you expect, high fives?

You're a man, got to do your own thing.

[delonge]

Yeah I get this a lot when I visit my parents. Only from my mom though, dad seems to get it. and one time I remember in a dinner table conversation my brother asked my mom why should I get one girlfriend when I can just bang bitches. Good family times.

[AneroidOcean]

(01-15-2014 07:55 PM)Spider Wrote:  

If so, how do you respond?

Your dad actually sounds like a decent guy. I imagine he's writing you that more out of concern from your mother than from himself. Either way, the best way to respond if you still have to live with your parents is how you've done, but I would add something like this:

"I appreciate how much you guys care and for wanting to give me advice. One of the biggest problems I had in my past relationships was that I was ultimately unhappy. It may change in a few months or a few years, but for now I am MUCH happier meeting new people and enjoying this phase of my life. I'm honest with the people I meet and this is making me much happier right now. I'm glad to have your support"

That way you give them some hamsterbation ("oh it's just a phase") and essentially leave them no option other than to support you.

That, or like most other situations with parents, just listen, then do whatever you want to do, just minimize their exposure to it.

[commiejoe]

Remind them that society is different from when they grew up.

[Parlay44]

That's your mom talking through your dad. She probably wants grand kids. Never underestimate a woman's ability to manipulate.

[Spider]

(01-15-2014 08:07 PM)RawGod Wrote:  

(01-15-2014 07:55 PM)Spider Wrote:  

convincing a beautiful young woman to sleep with you is the easy and fun part

Bet your poor old dad had a semi chub as he wrote that, thinking of the hottest girl you brought back

I think he's probably proud, but just trying to look good in front of my mom…my brother has been dating the same girl for about 4 years now. They met in college, and she's actually a really sweet girl…so my dad probably sees that and thinks I ought to find something similar.

(01-15-2014 08:07 PM)RawGod Wrote:  

(01-15-2014 07:55 PM)Spider Wrote:  

convincing a beautiful young woman to sleep with you is the easy and fun part

But seriously, get your own place. Bringing back 7 girls in a few weeks to the family home is going to rub people the wrong way.

Agreed, but I'm only 20. I will def rent my own apt after I graduate.

[Plutoman]

Yeah, I ran into some of this, until my mom actually got to see what girls these days and age are like. I don't tell her all the details, ofc, but when she tried to set me up with a girl and I took her out, had a fun time, and then she started dating a girl within a few days after, my mom was like, wtf. And I showed her a few text convos back when I was more beta and girls would tell me they aren't looking for anything serious and I'm a good guy that needs to find a nice girl. And then she was like, yeah, go find a good girl. I told her I'm looking for a good girl but they're a needle in the haystack so I'm weighing my options and meeting people and not sitting around waiting for the right girl to knock on my door.

[Days of Broken Arrows]

Your dad doesn't sound like a decent guy. He sounds like mine did: controlling and jealous -- and hiding his jealousy under the veil of "concern."

In fact, most people's "concern" is masked jealousy: "You need to stop playing that rock music!" "No more nights out with the boys!" "Stop indulging your artistic fantasies and grow up!" "Your big house/car is wasting energy!"

This forum didn't exist when I was 25. And in retrospect I let parental pressure get to me, so I stopped doing "mall game" (look up my accounts of of on here if interested) and dating 18-year-old interns. At the time I just saw it as "growing up. But I was really buckling under. If you rush into something now before you're ready it won't end well.

It's your life. Do what the hell you want because you can never return to the life you have now. Even if you come out of a divorce relatively unscathed (like I did), you'll have the shadow of your past life hanging over you. Single life will always be tinged with nostalgia for married life. It's never the same. You can't stroll into a mall over age 40 and have your pick of sales girls like you can in your twenties.

Follow your instinct or disaster will follow you.

PS: If you do settle down, don't expect the helicopter parenting to end there. Then you'll have to answer to them about why you don't have the right job/house/savings account. They'll just move the goal post. This is what happened to me. Once you buckle under to these types of people, they expect more and more submission from you. You've been forewarned.

[Remington]

My parents are very traditional. They still believe that I should focus on one woman at a time and that if I love her, I should marry her. I believed them for such a long time. My life has taken a complete 180. Whenever I get in contact with my parents, I'm usually with a girl or out trying to bring a girl home. I'm always up front with them when it comes to that. They always ask me the questions like if she seems like the right girl or if I will be getting married any time soon. I'm 24 years old for goodness sake. They pretty much knew what I was doing but didn't have the heart to ask and confirm their suspicions.

Spider, these should be the best years of your life when it comes to women. Since you do live with your parents over breaks, respect them by keeping your girls on the DL. Don't try making a scene with anything. Don't ask, don't tell.

[Stratos]

Guys, the best way to get an awesome girlfriend in my experience (if you want one) is to sleep around a lot for a period of time and not settle too soon for someone that's just good "enough" for you. I always like to tell the good ones, if I wasn't dating everyone when we first met, how would I have met you and gotten together with you?

Tell mom, dating one girl isn't very romantic, unless she's the right one.

[Sombro]

(01-15-2014 08:16 PM)commiejoe Wrote:  

Remind them that society is different from when they grew up.

This.
Your dad's not wrong -- his advice is just from a different time.

What parents are secretly pushing is their desire for grandkids. Once my brother and his wife had a kid, my parents stopped grilling me about women.

[LeBeau]

...

[Gas]

(01-15-2014 08:22 PM)Parlay44 Wrote:  

That's your mom talking through your dad. She probably wants grand kids. Never underestimate a woman's ability to manipulate.

Second that. I don't want to sound like I'm talking shit about your old man, because I'm not, but it sounds like your Mom has him by the balls and probably nagged him for hours to send you that email. I'd imagine she was even standing over his shoulder as he sent it.

If you had a heart to heart with your Dad over a good number of bourbons I'm sure the conversation would be very different. And a lot of sentences beginning with, "Don't tell your Mom I said this, but..."

I've been in a similar situation, as my parents are quite conservative. You're lucky that you have a brother in an LTR. Let him be the giver of grandchildren to your mother.

Oh, and stop banging girls in your parents house. I'd be all for my son slaying large amounts of women, but I'd prefer he didn't do it down the hall from his mother.

[Jazzman92]

I think you just gotta slowly ease them into it but it depends on their personal experiences also

My parents are pretty cool with it now but were never totally against game and casual sex. My mom always told me not to get too emotionally attached to a woman and that most women are only interested in your status, money, looks, and style. She's not too cool with fucking randoms though because of stds, however she still gives me space to live My life. My dad encourages me to game girls. I think a part of why they're so chill about it is because they got an arranged marraige when they were both like 22. They don't want me doing that. The only thing they're very pushy about is being a doctor.

The way I dealt with that was explaining I wasn't down with working that much for a career I'm not sure I want to do. I told them that you gotta let me live my life and maybe it will happen and maybe it won't, but whatever I do will be my decision.