[TheMaleBrain]

Q: What is the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 50 Pounds.
Q: What is the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: A ceremony.

Q: What is the difference in future outlook between a man and a women?
A: A women worries about the future, until she marries.
A man never worries about the future, until he marries.

Q: How can you tell if the wife is dead?
A: The sex is the same, but the dishes keep piling up in the sink.

Q: How do you define a successful man, and a successful women?
A: Successful man - earns more money than what his wife can spend.
Successful women - married to a successful man.

Q: What is it that men have, starts with a D and ends with a K?
A: Disk
Q: What is it that women have, starts with a D and ends with a K?
A: Pregnancy.

Q: What do you call a man with a torn condom?
A: Daddy
Q: What do you call a women who forgot her pills?
A: Mommy

Q: What are the most hated words for a man during sex?
A :"That's it?"
Q: What are the most hated words for a women during sex?
A: "Honey, I'm home"

[H1N1]

When is a fairy not a fairy?

When she's down a pixie's trousers, then she's a goblin.

[Horus]

[Charles Martel]

Q: What is the difference between a whore, a mistress and a wife?

A: The whore says, "You're done!"

The mistress says, "You're done already?"

The wife says, "Beige. I think I'll paint the ceiling, beige..."

[LeeEnfield303]

Q: how did they finally stop the BP underwater oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico?

A: they put a ring on it and it stopped putting out.

[Paracelsus]

I promise this happened: a good-looking chick back at my university was encouraged to get into the swim team and in particular try out for backstroke. When I asked why since she wasn't exactly the greatest athlete out there, the reply was: "Because there's at least fifty guys in the college who want to see what she looks like on her back, wet, and breathing hard."