Quote: (10-03-2014 01:06 PM)RexImperator Wrote:
I think I might have the "smiling like a beta problem." It's a reflexive thing when I meet someone new and seems to be more of a problem at night. During the day sometimes I forget to smile or smirk (which I think is what is preferable). This has ended up giving a negative vibe to women when I give strong eye contact. They smile at first from the eye contact but then they look upset. I don't do this too often...mostly at times when I tend to get lost in thought. I guess I'm in the "conscious incompetence" phase of learning game.
At guess: if you're an intense looking man, you're holding the initial eye contact too long and intimidating her. This is particularly true of Millennial Girls.
What I do: make eye contact, then look obviously away at something else for a few beats, like you're so used to girls checking you out that you don't pounce like a tiger at the first hint of female attention and are now distracted by something else important.
You want her to think your attention is now focused on something else, and you didn't entirely register her, so she is now safe to look at you. This is why you wait just a few beats, then look back before she expects it, to try and catch her checking you out.
Now you hold the eye contact longer than before, disarming her with embarrassment, and flash your smirk:
a controlled smile, with one side of your mouth. Make sure the corner of the smile is curled up to read as genuine and confident rather than false and awkward.
If she's embarrassed or blushing, make your approach.
I know this is hard to explain in words, so i'll have to illustrate.
Note top pic how my lip curls up to the left. Slightly narrow your eyes as you do this, you'll read cocky as hell, which was the mood I was in.
Note my fake horizontal smile in the lower pic, when I'm at a social gathering full of people I despise, and my natural introversion has reached its overload point and I'm tired of keeping up a mask of extroversion. I know I need to get the fuck out the door, into some quiet and recharge, and yet my girlfriend and I are begged to pose for a photo before we leave. See how false the smile is?
Girls mightn't be able to vocalise the difference, but their heightened social awareness means they can spot confidence vs awkwardness damn easily. Even the broken Millennial ones.
Practise controlling your smile, and it will become second nature.