Work itself is
not "soul crushing". It's just a simple necessity.
What can be soul-crushing, over time -- if allowed to fester -- is the feeling of
resentment.
People love to talk about getting out of the "corporate style grind". That may or may not be feasible or even desirable. It all depends. It's a matter of practical choice.
As far as expressing what you actually feel. Of course there is no problem with that. What would be the point of having a forum like this if you can't whine a little to your cyberpals
?
But it's also an opportunity to reflect on these feelings and what their rightful place is.
cardguy, in your case I think that part of the unstated emotion behind what you're feeling is
pride.
I think you're a proud guy and you think you
deserve a life of ease and comfort without having to work for it. And if you can't be allowed to have it, you feel resentment and you cling to that resentment as something to
preserve for the sake of your pride and dignity.
That's the point of the crack about "learning to love Big Brother". You imagine that if you give up your resentment, you will have given up your pride or sense of special entitlement.
But this thinking is based on an error.
There is no Big Brother. You have to work simply because you weren't born rich. The question of what is deserved, of what is rightfully yours, is entirely irrelevant.
By letting go of your resentment, you are not relinquishing your claims to a special status. Those claims never had any standing to begin with.
Do not imagine yourself to be a prince who has had the throne snatched from under him and is now a serf. The kingdom you thought you had was an illusion.
There is no more vulgar way to go through life than to overvalue the
necessarily fleeting freedoms of youth and undervalue the world of thought and feeling that accrues to those that are open to the
long grind of experience.
The innocence that you think you've lost is worthless. The person you thought you were was nothing but a clever but callow youth.
The real rewards are not where one imagines them to be. They come to those that let life and experience
grind them.