[soup]

This is an obvious idea, but I read a lot of threads where guys are getting themselves into situations where it's very hard to not look like a chump. I've been in a lot of situations like these, and making this thread to help you guys not waste your time.

I'm also learning more about this, and hope this thread will give me even greater insight into coolness.

There are two ways to approach being cool that you need to maximize:

1) Avoiding situations where you will come off as un-cool
2) Putting yourself in as many situations were you will be as cool as possible.

All of this will make no sense to you if you don't have a concept of what it means to be cool. From afar, when we think of stereotypes of cool you might think of someone like James Dean- he definitely was.

But, just like there are many different qualities of women that, like developing your palette for wine, require a great deal of experience to be able to perceive, it's the same with being cool.

For example, ever notice how girls you might have thought were perfect in your bluepill days are actually quite flawed now that you've been in the game for a while. Your 10 highschool crush seems to have a slightly more crooked nose and generally less facial symmetry post red-pill. Maybe you look back at her pictures and notice she was actually a little chubby, or her legs were kind of short.

It's the same thing with cool. I look back a few years, and I see how uncool my game was. My game is changing a lot now, and I can look back even half a year and see what I previously could not; there were things I wasn't aware of in my game that were uncool. There still are things that I'm not aware of that are holding back the cool in my game.

To consciously avoid situations that were the odds are stacked against you being cool (instead of just happening through life and hoping for the best), you have to be able recognize these pitfalls.

A great example of this is going to the club on a Friday or Saturday night. If you are just getting started in the game, this is actually one of the worst situations. All the girls have their bitch shields on max, there are tons of dudes to compete with, and often a general sense of tension and lack of class (in most venues) as people work to relieve themselves from the stress of having boring lives during the week.

When you get to higher level of game, you can actually use all this to your advantage or not be phased by it, but if I could go back in time, I'd tell myself to forget about crunch time at the bar.

I'm not saying you shouldn't challenge yourself, but start with the most obvious, easy situations, and build up form there. At every stage, you should be cool. Sure, you need to take risks to get better, but you don't have to go out and break yourself. It's like working out- you can fuck your muscles up if you take on too much when you just getting started.

Seek out situations where you are the coolest person in the room and take full advantage of these using all the stuff we talk about on the forum until you are totally bored. Then it's time to take on more difficult situations.

If you are totally socially awkward and are just getting into game, I highly recommend you check out Roosh's Day Bang to get a good understanding on how to maintain coolness in mundane day game situations. A lot of what he talks about in that book has become the cornerstone of my interaction with women.

To be able to see cool, you've got to hone your perceptive capabilities. Yes, this comes through trial and error, but try to be sensitive and open your eyes to what's happening around you, and it will probably come faster for you.

Don't be lazy; pay attention when things are not working out for you, and make changes. Albert Einstein said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over while expecting while expecting different results.

You should be constantly seeking out and trying situations where you are the coolest person in the group. This could be hosting parties or doing club promoting. It could be approaching a girl on the train when all the other guys are too pussy or inept to actually open a girl. This could be being the best dressed, or most built guy in the room. It could be being the best dancer, or most handsome guy.. whatever it takes to rise above the noise that most girls experience.

You need to stand out amongst the throngs of humdrum guys. Orchestrate your entire life to do this.

I don't believe in doing game on side or guys that are weekend warriors at game. The best way to get ready is to be ready all the time.

You will maximize your cool by pro-actively avoiding whack situations, and creating good ones.

This is a general concept that I keep in mind when I'm out.

Feel free to help flesh this out.

[aphelion]

These are good thoughts. Girls are content with getting the best guy they can see, so maximizing your chance of being that guy is ideal strategy.

[Therapsid]

One way of thinking about is that guys who have overcome approach anxiety and regularly talk to girls, ask them out, whatever - like that guy who did 500 approaches - if they're not able to escalate and regularly bang new girls it may because they're just not being cool. You can approach a girl and say the same exact shit but if you're coming across as awkward instead of smooth, as mundane instead of cool, you're not going to get the lay.

[Prophylaxis]

(10-10-2013 01:01 PM)soup Wrote:  

The best way to get ready is to be ready all the time.

Best advice when it comes to day game! I've lost count of the amount of times I've been on my phone, or not looking far enough ahead and a hottie has just passed me on the street.

I like your idea of comparing a guy new to game, to starting a gym programme. You go up against the heavy-hitter regulars on a Fri/Sat night at a club and you will be crushed.

Start off simple, indirect day game, small parties/gatherings. Start building your confidence in low-risk, low pressure situations (you shouldn't be nervous because you are just asking for directions, not blatantly hitting on them like you will be in clubs - and something you shouldn't deny if they ask you).

Once you get a few numbers, progress into bar game and slowly work your way up the ladder. Just like getting in perfect physical shape, it will take you years. I'd also recommend staying away from online stuff until you get the basics first-(able to open well, engaging conversation and isolate).

[soup]

(10-11-2013 02:01 AM)Prophylaxis Wrote:  

(10-10-2013 01:01 PM)soup Wrote:  

The best way to get ready is to be ready all the time.

Best advice when it comes to day game! I've lost count of the amount of times I've been on my phone, or not looking far enough ahead and a hottie has just passed me on the street.

I like your idea of comparing a guy new to game, to starting a gym programme. You go up against the heavy-hitter regulars on a Fri/Sat night at a club and you will be crushed.

Start off simple, indirect day game, small parties/gatherings. Start building your confidence in low-risk, low pressure situations (you shouldn't be nervous because you are just asking for directions, not blatantly hitting on them like you will be in clubs - and something you shouldn't deny if they ask you).

Once you get a few numbers, progress into bar game and slowly work your way up the ladder. Just like getting in perfect physical shape, it will take you years. I'd also recommend staying away from online stuff until you get the basics first-(able to open well, engaging conversation and isolate).

It's not even that's it's the heavy hitters. On the contrary, the hottest girls (models) usually go out to have FUN on the weekdays. On the weekends they are told by their modeling agencies to hang out with a particular promoter that is giving the agency a kick back. Those girls are like cattle and don't even enjoy it and are being guarded by the promoter who will report back to the agency if the girl strays from his table. She will lose modeling gigs because of this

The weekends aren't heavy hitter time- it's amateur hour in most respects.

Fuck the weekend.

Game every other time but the weekend. Call your harem on the weekend. Don't lead the boring life.

[AntiTrace]

I recently started a project that makes everyone that hears about think I'm one of the coolest motherfucker alive.

It has already got me laid by three different chicks, none of which I ran any active game on. It's also ridiculously easy to get phone numbers, I just drop the project in the conversation as a big bait and boom, 90% of the time I'm getting those digits.

Being cool will get you laid. Being cool with tight logistics will get you laid more. Being cool with tight logistics and a sense of mystery (no FB or everything set to private for example) will get you laid even more.

[tiggaling]

+1 to what antitrace said. It is not just about being cool, it is about doing cool stuff. Alpha is just as much doing than being.

[Pyre]

what's cool? I mean, how do you define being cool

[King Solomon]

@Antitrace: What sorts of activities would you / could you mention that would DHV like that?

[j r]

Great post. One of the problems is that young men don't have many contemporary examples of how to be cool, because cool has been replaced with quirky.

Almost everything about our culture right now is the antithesis of cool:

Cool is stoic, but right now everyone seems to be in some emo-off to see who can share the most feelings.
Cool is mysterious, but everyone updates their location and posts their most inane thoughts to the internet.
Cool is aloof, but everyone is constantly in everyone else's business.

The "coolest" subculture right now is hipster and hipster are the exact opposite of cool. They wear goofy shit. They are socially retarded. And they compete for status in the most passive aggressive ways.

[soup]

(10-11-2013 07:32 AM)Pyre Wrote:  

what's cool? I mean, how do you define being cool

This is the tough part that takes experience to really understand.

Being cool is like being a Ninja- you always know the appropriate thing to do in what ever situation you choose to engage in order to accomplish your goal.

Being cool is being graceful.

You know you are cool when everything is going according to plan; you've taken into account everything that could go wrong, worked out how to deal with those things, and now, nothing can really go "wrong" because those things are already part of your equation.

An example of this for me is running the first date bang recipe. I've done it so many times that I know what to expect at almost every turn. There are parts that I used to mess up, and I've made changes and now it works smoothly.

Cool, smoothness, grace, class... these are all things that need to be maintained regardless of everything else that is happening.

There are certain things in game that are bigger than any particular situation. An example of this is having a pipeline. I will always support my pipeline over taking a bad risk with ify-ONS.

Think about the best pussy you've fucked. It was a good fit, but not too tight, and not too loose. There's just enough tension to make it good. That's cool.

Cool feels easy, but there might still be a little tension- but that's tension that you want.

You can reduce anxiety by slowly getting to know the game instead of throwing yourself into the war zone. Get acquainted with women in your comfort zone before you move on to new territories.

This means that you can build your confidence and try it out in harder situations bit by bit.

I'm definitely a believer that some things have to be learned in a trial-by-fire manner, but you can train for those things in easier situations.

It should always feel mostly easy to you, if not completely. Then it will feel easy for her as well.

[BoneDaddy]

(10-10-2013 01:01 PM)soup Wrote:  

This is an obvious idea, but I read a lot of threads where guys are getting themselves into situations where it's very hard to not look like a chump. I've been in a lot of situations like these, and making this thread to help you guys not waste your time.

I'm also learning more about this, and hope this thread will give me even greater insight into coolness.

There are two ways to approach being cool that you need to maximize:

1) Avoiding situations where you will come off as un-cool
2) Putting yourself in as many situations were you will be as cool as possible.

All of this will make no sense to you if you don't have a concept of what it means to be cool. From afar, when we think of stereotypes of cool you might think of someone like James Dean- he definitely was.

[...Great Stuff Snipped for Brevity...]

Thanks for this thread, soup. Excellent thoughts and a good reminder of something we should all keep in mind.

Last night I did as I often do and stepped out into the nightlife without a clear plan and no specific goals. My condo in this city is at the center of one the city's hot areas for night-game, so its easy to just wander out and see what happens. This is a recipe for spending money, needlessly consuming alcohol, and getting no results. I'm an older player and although fit, good style and reasonably good looking, I'm realizing that trying to run game at crush time in bars primarily populated with 20-somethings isn't the best use of my resources. In spite of these challenges, I've been successful enough that I've kept doing it, but the payback/effort ratio is sub-optimal.

I do well with the 30+ MILFs, but finding them out at the bars here is hit or miss, mostly miss. Its different in other cities - Tampa is my playground, but here its quite different.

I think it all comes down to being aware of your environment and working your game to maximize the opportunities that exist, and not wasting resources (time, money, health) on things that aren't likely to pay off.
I've come to the realization that its just not efficient to launch myself into this city's crowded bars full of yapping 20-somethings. Bitch shields are up, drama is everywhere, and suitable targets are scarce.

When I'm up here, I will focus more on day game, photography game and higher-end venue game. These are the styles of game that play to my strengths and maximize my cool factor.

[Vaun]

I agree, we should know what situations make us look best in, and exploit those.

One thing I see a loss in today is discretion. Most people think its ok to air all of their dirty laundry, to anyone and everyone in their lives. Discretion at work, in our personal lives, with strangers, new potential girls, etc etc. Its almost a psychological condition; the need/desire to vomit your feelings/thoughts/challenges whatever, on whoever is near you.

Indiscretion is a sign of the times. It used to be you didnt talk about yourself, it was seen as prideful & vain. Now... its typical party conversation. This has infected management in business immensely. To me its destroyed trust to the point you really cant trust anyone at all, even if you think you know them. The blue-pill indiscretion of spewing emotional vomit is seen as the only real authentic way to connect with people these days, if they actually think before they speak.

I am working with this guy now that does that with everyone. He moves on to new people all the time, constantly shitting on the last people he 'moved on' from, usually about every 6 months. People often think the guy is on something, by the way he talks about his stupid shit. Funny thing is he is not, except for psych pills from the Dr. The guy is losing it and I often think where does it end?

Discretion is cool. If you have a friend/associate/business partner/family whoever, why would you shit on them by spilling their shit they may have had confidence in you for? I would do that for my business, for my reputation, for my relationships, for my protection. They say perception is reality, and when someone is indiscriminate, I see them as weak and to be avoided.

[Frank Mackey]

Cool factor – that’s everything, specially when you’ve reached your 30s. I’m not a dancer, don’t have vocation to be an RP, am not a dj, am not 1.90 tall, and am not a model. But I have reasonable looks, good taste in clothes/food/books/movies/etc, and can really impress a girl in a conversation. Hence I started to come to terms with the fact that I won’t be able to do some things, such as trying to attract girls through impressing them with my dancing skills in the middle of a dance floor in a Saturday night. However, experience has shown that I am better when I approach standing girls near the bars, or throwing parties at my place, or meeting girls in the street at night time, or hosting them (CS). I had a model-looks friend who would asked me to come to the dance floors with him, or try other moves more adjusted to his style, and one night I had to tell him “no, really, this shit is not working, I’m now trying some new stuff”. That’s when the odds started to be in my favour.

Am now learning how to sail boats. I am sure I'll invite some girls to come along

[Aliblahba]

Cool is the new beta.

[Libertas]

How about the venues of the places you go to? Not just in terms of the male/female ratio but also the type of crowd.

If you go to some generic club you're probably gonna have a harder time in general unless you're really good looking or are known to have some kind of hard status.

But what if you go to a place where say, the college crowd hangs out, you're bit older and are more successful- which means you can stand out a little more and thus be more cool? You'd probably have an advantage, up to a certain point.

What venues do you guys hit that are tailored to your age and lifestyle, etc.? During the day and night respectively?

[robreke]

(10-11-2013 12:02 PM)BoneDaddy Wrote:  

(10-10-2013 01:01 PM)soup Wrote:  

This is an obvious idea, but I read a lot of threads where guys are getting themselves into situations where it's very hard to not look like a chump. I've been in a lot of situations like these, and making this thread to help you guys not waste your time.

I'm also learning more about this, and hope this thread will give me even greater insight into coolness.

There are two ways to approach being cool that you need to maximize:

1) Avoiding situations where you will come off as un-cool
2) Putting yourself in as many situations were you will be as cool as possible.

All of this will make no sense to you if you don't have a concept of what it means to be cool. From afar, when we think of stereotypes of cool you might think of someone like James Dean- he definitely was.

[...Great Stuff Snipped for Brevity...]

Thanks for this thread, soup. Excellent thoughts and a good reminder of something we should all keep in mind.

Last night I did as I often do and stepped out into the nightlife without a clear plan and no specific goals. My condo in this city is at the center of one the city's hot areas for night-game, so its easy to just wander out and see what happens. This is a recipe for spending money, needlessly consuming alcohol, and getting no results. I'm an older player and although fit, good style and reasonably good looking, I'm realizing that trying to run game at crush time in bars primarily populated with 20-somethings isn't the best use of my resources. In spite of these challenges, I've been successful enough that I've kept doing it, but the payback/effort ratio is sub-optimal.

I do well with the 30+ MILFs, but finding them out at the bars here is hit or miss, mostly miss. Its different in other cities - Tampa is my playground, but here its quite different.

I think it all comes down to being aware of your environment and working your game to maximize the opportunities that exist, and not wasting resources (time, money, health) on things that aren't likely to pay off.
I've come to the realization that its just not efficient to launch myself into this city's crowded bars full of yapping 20-somethings. Bitch shields are up, drama is everywhere, and suitable targets are scarce.

When I'm up here, I will focus more on day game, photography game and higher-end venue game. These are the styles of game that play to my strengths and maximize my cool factor.

I'm an older fella too. Just curious.....what is "photography game" ? Sounds intriguing.

[robreke]

(10-11-2013 06:15 AM)AntiTrace Wrote:  

I recently started a project that makes everyone that hears about think I'm one of the coolest motherfucker alive.

It has already got me laid by three different chicks, none of which I ran any active game on. It's also ridiculously easy to get phone numbers, I just drop the project in the conversation as a big bait and boom, 90% of the time I'm getting those digits.

Being cool will get you laid. Being cool with tight logistics will get you laid more. Being cool with tight logistics and a sense of mystery (no FB or everything set to private for example) will get you laid even more.

I'm biting. What is the project you're doing? What do you tell women about this project? Tks.