[booshala]

Just had a really interesting night: I've been contemplating breaking up with my girlfriend for a while now so that I can really go all out and chase after girls. I pretty much laid it out that a) I wanted her to be happy but b) my selfish desires were more important to myself. Essentially, I told her she'd be much happier with a beta herb that would be happy to take care of her, not cheat on her, be pussy whipped, etc...

I told her that I had held myself back in sleeping with lots of other girls while we were dating, but that in the future I wasn't going to do that anymore. I didn't mention that I had fucked a few girls during our relationship when I was overseas on business or in NYC/ATL, but that came up later on in the conversation. All in all, I was brutally honest and it all came down to "I want you to be happy, but my happiness is more important... so I'm going to fuck other girls".

Obviously, I was ready to break up and move on.

Pretty mind blowing how she reacted. First she did the typical female response: wetworks with the sobbing and gnashing of teeth and saying "No I don't want to break up but I don't want you to sleep with other girls". But after a while, it was like a fucking car sales negotation: She whittled down first to "Just sleep with other girls when you're overseas" to "just don't fuck girls in LA" to "just be discreet about it and don't let me find out" when she finally gave up. Maybe it helps that she lived in Asia for 15 years where shit like this happens quite a lot.

There were lots of moments where I could've slipped up and fallen out of the "I don't give a fuck" frame, but I purposely held tight to it and spoke slowly and with purpose. This was especially helpful because I caught myself straying in a few instances and I gave myself enough time to recompose my train of thought. In the end, she said she wasn't happy about it but accepted my all or nothing scenario, and we even fucked after the discussion. Gave me a morning hummer as well when I woke up today. I'm still a little dazed, kind of like a minor league villain who unexpectedly breaks out a huge stash of Kryptonite on Superman.

So as not wallow too much in self-congratulations, I want to ask some of the board members here who are in these types of "like it or leave" relationships, what's the biggest issue you've dealt with? I think I remember Thedude saying that he's been in one of these for years, and I can imagine that you'd have to deal with some rampant emotionalism from time to time, especially if she digs too deep and finds out the details of your bitties on the side.

Really curious to see how this plays out, especially with my trips to Seoul, NYC and ATL in the next month and a half.

[Hallasan]

I am in this exact-type of situation.

I was living with my girl for about a year and we were (are) genuinely happy together. I was living in a place with low prospects so wasn't missing much potential for side action but as I prepared to move, I started talking with her about us living separately. I told her how I'm a young guy and I'm not ready to live a permanent life of monogamy, I want to go have adventures and not be tied down. (I remember telling her about "flags", she was pissed and thought that was the dumbest thing in the world).

We live separately now, on opposite coasts of the States. Actually, she just left my place yesterday after a pleasant one week visit after 4 months apart. Of course we didn't talk about specifics of what I've done because I didn't want to hurt her but I'm sure she knows, although probably no where near to the degree that I've been "adventuring"... (She actually brought it up in conversation once about one of my Thailand pictures having a purse in the shot. I purposely excluded the girl in the shot but somehow allowed the purse to be visible in the top corner).

We're still technically together, and we basically have an understanding where she says: "You go do what you want for a few years, but after that, you're all mine." This is a very sweet girl from a traditional non-Western family. I do not expect this will end how she wants but I don't see much reason to end it now.

You don't mention how much you actually care about her. I can't tell if you're happy with being with her while having her ok with you getting action on the side, or if you actually just want to move on from her [although you do say you're ready to].

I don't see this working out well for her especially because she lives in LA too. I imagine she must be considering other prospects now regardless of her affection for you.

[Albertron]

The biggest issue I dealt with when I was in such a relationship (5+ years) was leaving a zone that I had been very comfortable in, and restarting out with dating in which I had little to no experience with. Kind of like leaving that well-paying but life-sucking job, and hitting the pavement to look for something you actually want to do, or at least somewhat enjoy what you're doing.

The lesson I learned from that was that complacency during your true growth years (i.e. 20's, early 30's) is a very dangerous feeling, as it can severely affect your mental state for years to come.

[DVY]

Game aphorism proved. Women want a "piece of a good man" instead of nothing. Assuming shes Asian, you should be cautious not to be "caught" by any of her friends. That means staying out venues that you know they would frequent. This would make her lose face.

For me, the hardest thing about juggling mulitple girls is that I am starting to run out of options to take girls for clubbing.

Everybody goes to Hollywood, so the odds of being spotted are exponentially higher. Drai's Hollywood is like a conveyor belt of poon straight to my door (whcih makes me loath to give it up). And most of the girls love drais, so I am playing with a bit of fire. Create is especially high-risk considering that its the "new it" club w/all the bigger name house DJs and girls from all cultures love that.

Some suggestions on place in Holly to take them that girls never seem to go by themselves or w/friends- Katsuya Hollywood at the bar, Kabuki in Hollywood, Sayers Room/Club (newer club and not hyped at all), Gyu Kaku, Culver City Hotel for jazz+drinks, the valley (lots of veneus here- Laurel Tavern, Viceroy Hookah bar, Vibe Hookah bar, the Spot hookah bar, various food joints), <--- In short, your biggest ally is traffic and spread-out nature of LA. LA is harem-paradise.

Another thing to bring up, you should emphasize when she starts nagging that these girls dont matter and shes important to you--- the other girls are just there for sex. In short, make her your bottom bitch.

Furthermore, don't make the mistake of letting her think you are dropping off- that means seeing her at least 1/week when you are here. Ties into above...Be very vague about your plans when smashing other girls.

[Duke Castile]

This is going to seem great until....

She tells one (or more) of her Americanized friends. That friend will convince her that you're an asshole and she deserves better (even though she's a grown adult capable of making her own decisions) and that she should break up with you.

Your GF will try little power plays and more sob stories and cause more drama. You'll get sick of the insecurity and constant nagging and crying.

Anytime you go out without her, she will think you are seeing other girls. This will result in the above scenarios.

The problem with girls is A) Nothing that happens with you and her can be kept to herself like a mature adult and B) Bitches have the annoying habit of following the advice of the last person they talked to.

Expect to have the same argument or versions of it over and over until you finally leave her for good.

[speakeasy]

I know this is going to sound all nice guyish but if you really do care about her well-being and happiness, just cut her out of your life. She's accepting your terms out of emotional vulnerability and hope that you might change. It seems you are determined to do your thing. So don't keep her around if you actually care about her. She needs to find a guy who wants what she wants. This is even more important for women as they don't have time to waste their peak years going down a dead end street. The last girl I was long-term term involved with wanted to be serious and I didn't. She was approaching 30 which is a crucial age for women looking to nest before they hit the wall in a few years. To string her along would be robbing her of her time. It's worse than a guy with oneitis who spends years in a girl's friend zone while she's fucking every bad boy she can get her hands on. Let her go so she can move on. That's the right thing to do if you actually give a shit about her.

[Tigre]

There will be resentment.

Those emotions will sometimes manifest themselves in strange ways.

New iciness towards your male drinking buddies. Guilt trips any time you travel.

Manufactured emergencies. If you don't respond to these so-called emergencies immediately, you don't care about her because you were too busy chasing some random ho.

Try and compartmentalize your outside girls. Don't let it intrude on life with your main girl.

For example, no texting with other girls while you're with the main girl.

[booshala]

Thanks for all the insights, fellas. I figured it was going to be a lot of drama, but I think I'm committed to taking this path right now.

Speakeasy, you make a very good point and I agree with you on all of your points. I wish I could be as black/white about the situation as you describe and I mentioned in my original post that I described the type of person that she should ideally be with (whipped guy that'll follow her in whatever she wants) but she adamantly refused to choose the "break up" option. She has my keys and the code to my gate so short of changing my locks, I don't know if I can next her like that.

Guess I'm going to have to experience this for myself and see what's up.

[speakeasy]

It's because in the back of her mind she's holding out a small bit of hope that you'll come back around at some point. If she were absolutely convinced 100% that you will never be her's, then she would agree to split. Or at least she'd be gone when the next guy comes along that serves her needs.

[Sonsowey]

Good luck tho!

This situation can be created without ever making any girl your girlfriend. Easier to never bring them to that level to begin with, and of course the presumption is always you're seeing other people

[Therapsid]

I wouldn't worry too much whatever you end up doing. I've been in this situation before and eventually the girl gets the message that you aren't willing to commit to her. I've had girls flat-out make ultimatums like your girl and then cave, but what happens in practice is that they do *eventually* follow through with their threat. It just takes many months, a year, or more for them to give it up and actually muster the courage to break up with you for good.

Assuming your girl is at all attractive she'll follow this script. She may agree to you fucking around for now but she'll most likely drift away. This will be especially the case if she wants children and a white picket fence.

So basically, yeah in theory an alpha can do anything he wants and keep his submissive girlfriend but in practice, most girls have enough options to eventually, reluctantly, and tearfully move on.