[Knowledge Seeker]

..along with a concert ticket to an upcoming show at the end of the year randomly the other day. I've warned her before of not speaking to exes and I know that it is him who is initiating the contact.

When I found out, instead of playing it cool, I reacted badly and went on a tirade about her not willing to trash the gifts. It went back-and-forth on the phone for a while and she pulled numerous stunts including the crying.

I realized I lost hand immediately after my negative reaction (stupid beta tendencies..) so all day today I've been on radio silence mode. She has already texted me twice asking if I was okay and called numerous times while leaving two voicemails. I plan on not speaking with her tomorrow either.

I would prefer to keep her around as she is reliable and does what she needs to please me except during this situation. But in the end, I'm willing to lose her if she doesn't comply to my demands.

What should be the next key moves in this in order to regain my position? Is this betrayal of hers a relationship killer? She has already shown weakness due to my threats of leaving (being unresponsive) so the level is shifting back to my side. Would it be positive to guilt trip her for making a foolish choice not to trash the items and ultimately disrespecting me?

What I want to get out of this is to ensure that she works even harder to please me in the future).

[CJ_W]

So. . .you're really not supposed to be having "girlfriends"

You need to have multiple women that you can call up for sex on demand.

Then you need to be spending your time that you would have been spending on the drama, on making money for yourself.

Sex isn't worth all the trouble you're going through. Yes this is the newbie section, but the first part of all this is getting over the girlfriend boyfriend thing.

To do that you need to get over the fact that a woman will have sex with anyone and everyone she pleases. This girls is probably already having sex with him. You need to get over that.

You need to get over "monogamy"

That is the first step.

For your situation,

First, only call her over for sex once a week. Do not call her more than once a week. Youve been going out with her for a while so eventually she'll break up with you, no matter, save her to your facebook, and make sure you do not contact her. after a few months after she breaks up wither her next bf, invite her over etc etc.

In the meantime you need to be ammassing a harem of women that like you, seeing them once a week for sex, and going about your business.

Before anything happens you need to disregard "relationships."

You need to accept that ALL women have sex with multiple partners in the same time period. ALL women "cheat" its biological. Get over it.

If you can't do that, nothing the people here will say can help you.

[AntiTrace]

So you went all beta on her, playing right into the plan of the ex boyfriend, and now your planning on giving her the silent treatment while deciding if you should guilt trip her for her decision?

Your acting like a female.

Buy a bottle a wine. Cook up a nice meal. Tell her you have been stressed at work (or anything besides the fact your insecure that she is going to go fuck her ex) and apologize for letting it get to you to the point where you take it out on her. Fuck her real good. Situation solved.

[Akula]

Quote:

I've warned her before of not speaking to exes and I know that it is him who is initiating the contact.

why do u care? Are you looking for an LTR with this one?

You do realize you're on a PUA forum that's generally against relationships unless you've b@nged 25+ women, are very mature and at the point of wanting to have kids, hanging up your player cleats, fully know and understand the consequences of marriage/divorce etc." right?

Quote:

I would prefer to keep her around as she is reliable and does what she needs to please me except during this situation. But in the end, I'm willing to lose her if she doesn't comply to my demands.

And your primary demands are no contact with exes? Again, why do you care so much?

Quote:

Is this betrayal of hers a relationship killer?

What relationship? Are you really that hung up on this one woman?

No offense, but quite frankly you've completely lost the frame, and need to get it back. IMO no man should ever act like this unless it's in some sort of LTR or marriage, and even then I think it's counterproductive.

She's clearly shit testing you a bit, has some feelings for this old guy, and/or is trying to make you jealous. And I think you clearly care a bit too much about this girl and have some form of oneitis. Maybe I'm wrong, u tell me, but it sure seems like you got way too emotional over something u should never get emotional about if you really want to be a bit of a player and date numerous women, when clearly that's not what women expect or like nor what anyone on the forum would advise.

I'd forget the radio silent treatment. Just act like you could care less (you SHOULD care less!) and move on. AntiTrace's dinner idea and 'I'm stressed at work' might be a way to explain your prior behavior, but dont' do it again. Try to keep her in the rotation but keep all the options open.

[ElBorrachoInfamoso]

She's not worth worrying about. Treat her like a cum dumpster.

[dog24]

Why are you guys so hard on this guy, if he wants a girlfriend at this point let him be and give him advice. That being said when she told you about those gifts you should have said pfff what an idiot and not a single word about it anymore. You cant control women so there is no point in getting upset or asking advice on how to manipulate her, like someone said you are caring too much and thats never good.

[Deacon0228]

Point blank the less you care about situations like this, the more they care about you. Something flickers in their head that makes them question why you aren't showing emotions. If you're a smart guy you know how to play off her.
Testing her back from time to time is also something you should be doing if you see this girl as being a "steady girlfriend." But never give up on chasing other girls, keep your options open all the time.

[amity]

I'd have to agree with the last two posters, we're not all grade A PUAs on here (sure we aspire to be, but quite a few of us(myself included) are nowhere near that level, you can't go from zero to hero overnight
@Knowledge Seeker if this doesn't work out bro, chalk it down to experience, you'll know better how to handle these kind of situations in the future

[Gmac]

A lot of guys seem to think their girl is only seeing one guy (them), and that anyone else is an "ex". Once you wake up and join the real world you understand pretty much everyone is just a slut and all those labels like girlfriend, ex, "buddy", "friend" are really all just meshed together.

[Young Traveller]

Honestly, if she's just a FWB why does it bother you?

Think about it, the guy who sent the flowers is the moron. Why? Well, for one he's probably hung up on this girl. Secondly, you've already f'ed her so why are you mad? Thirdly, say she does take him back - you'll probably stay FWB's with her while she's with the ex.

[kinjutsu]

@ Knowledge Seeker
Did you let her know communicating with exes is unacceptable?
I just assume that at some point she will be in contact with an ex-fuckbuddy or ex-bf.
At that point i cut her loose. Pure radio silence.
Dealing with this situation can't come from neediness.
Think of it as "Your house, your rules"

[ImmoralPsychology]

Don't let anyone on here tell you what you should want. If you do, that makes you as big of a bitch as being beta to your girl. If you want to bang 100 girls, do that. If you want to be with one good one, do that. But you probably want to make sure she really is a "good" one.

Being successful with girls is not only about being the man in the relationship, it's also about choosing the right girl. A girl who accepts gifts from her ex is not someone I'd take seriously.

Look, you're not going to change a girl. People don't change. I stopped trying to change people years ago. Now I just observe and decide what I want from her while evaluating her character. If she fucks up too often (or even just once if it's a big enough deal), I don't chastise. I just change my views and begin treating her accordingly. She will only see me when she comes to my place to bang and that's about it. When she gets tired of that, she'll move on.

You can't change others. You can only change yourself.