If you really want to make a difference...
07-21-2013, 03:59 PM
I decided to take on Nomad77's open offer to meet up in Miami and contacted him earlier this week. He kindly invited me to go out with him and chambs88 yesterday and as such I just wanted to write a few lines about our meeting last night. I'm not writing this for the experienced guys here, who will read and say "well, of course, that's obvious" but to that shy, introverted guy with no game.
As I've written before, I don't really have "game", I'm a normal guy that had his girlfriends throughout the years but I've never been that guy that can just walk up to a girl anywhere and start chatting her up (even though I've always wanted to be like that) and I'm more of an introvert with a tiny bit of social anxiety. I'm one of those guys that has this ridiculous frame of mind where I think if I were to go and start talking to a girl somewhere I'd be bothering her and she would just rather that I disappeared and that everyone is looking at me and judging and making fun of me or something. Completely stupid, I know, it's all inside your head really, but that's how I was for awhile while growing up and still have some of that crap left in me, so I'm working to let go of that.
Anyway, that little intro it's just to let you know that I had never really done something like this before.
So I met Nomad and Chambs in front of Brickell Irish Pub and we head north to Boca. Chambs is a musician and his band was playing in the Blue Martini there. First time meeting both of these guys and they were super nice cool guys, very friendly, if you ever have the chance to meet them do it. During our drive to Boca Nomad was talking to us, giving us pointers and advice and basically just a lot of his knowledge and experience related to game. He also asked me, actually ordered me :-) , to approach 3 girls. I must reiterate that I've never really done this before so I'm feeling a mix of "yeah, no problem, I can do this" and "shit, what do I do now".
So we get there, Chambs has to go meet with his band and Nomad and I just walk in. I need to go to the bathroom so I excuse myself, I come back two minutes later and I find Nomad talking to these 3 girls seating at a table, making them laugh and having fun. I could only think, "damn, already?". So I just join in and listen to him talk, and it's funny, he just comes up with random stuff to talk about that I wouldn't think of and the girls are having fun. A couple of minutes later we leave them to go to the bar. The crowd was pretty mixed, with lots of different ages, from younger girls to older women. Lots of 40 and 50 year olds, but enough younger women for us to talk to.
So, I'm not going to bother you with all the little details of the night, I'm sure you don't care about that, but for me it was just amazing watching Nomad talking to groups of girls left and right, whenever he felt like it. He opened so many girls for me to talk to, damn. He made it look so easy too. Keep in mind I had never seen anyone do this before, so it was really one of those "wow" moments for me. Let's just say that by the end of the night I had 3 phone numbers, danced with and talked to a bunch of different women, got kissed and offered a threesome. Nomad really forced me out of my comfort zone and I have to give him a big thank you for that.
Just a few observations:
Getting rejected really isn't that bad, you just say "oh well", shrug your shoulders and move on to the next.
I got to see first hand what cock blocking friends are and how they can really ruin a good thing.
On the other hand girls are less bitchy than I thought. Even a few girls that I talked to and that clearly weren't interested in me weren't rude or obnoxious, they were polite and nice. I know it happens sometimes that we get these bitchy and obnoxious women, it happened to us by the end of the night actually, while we were eating before going home, but in general girls are polite and civil as long as you don't act like an idiot.
This is a big one, you really have to approach, you never know when a girl is interested in you. Earlier in the night I tried talking to this girl and she ignored me, later Nomad and I saw her and her friend again and he just opened them and we start talking to them and this girl that ignored me starts giving me all these compliments, showing all this interest in me, we dance and talk a bit and she ended up giving me her number. I could only think "what?"
Same thing later on, Nomad and I were talking and these two girls were sitting behind us, I had noticed them but they looked like they didn't want to be bothered and looked bitchy and closed to me, but he just turns around and decides to open them and they were super nice and chill.
For the introverts, after a while you stop caring if people are watching you talking to girls and then you realize not only you don't care but no one is really keeping an eye on you, no one else cares about what you're doing.
All the theory in the world is useless if you don't apply it to real life. Just go out there and do it.
The takeaway really is that we have all these self imposed mental blocks, barriers and limiting beliefs that only exist in our minds and things are really not that complicated.
Long story short, there were plenty of new experiences. Nomad spent all night talking to me, giving me advice, showing how he does his thing. It was invaluable and even though it was just one night and I obviously in no way, shape or form can consider myself anywhere near what a "player" is, I still have a looot to learn, do and experience, I can totally see how some guys really are just good with women. It's inspiring.
Big thank you to Nomad for all his patience, and to chambs, who despite not having any time to do much, since he was playing with his band, still managed to talk to girls in between sets.