[nek]

I'm starting to really get the impression that, here in the states, the margin for error when dating (note, not just hooking-up) is so small that taking any girl seriously has huge risks. I make my share of mistakes and have my awkward/embarrassing moments, so it concerns me to think that just one slip up can get a girl I'm dating to go jump on some other guys cock. The issue isn't that fucking up can drive a girl away, it's always been that way, but it seems like it's more delicate now than ever. Smaller fuck-ups are being punished more severely now more than ever. I've been doing some introspection lately as to why I avoid getting close to women, and I think this is the crux of it. I'm not sure if this is just my area (I live in a guy-heavy area), but does anyone else sense this same issue? Just trying to verify my sanity (or lack thereof).

[PrimeTime32]

Man trying to get the attention of a western women under 30 is like trying to get the attention of a goldfish, there's just no point. Pump and dump my friend.

[wsidemd]

Agree w/ above. You don't get a 2nd chance these days - assuming you get a 1st chance to start.

[Sebastian]

I see a happy normal couple all the time.

Do we live in a different world? or maybe we see the same thing but think differently?

(06-30-2013 03:13 PM)PrimeTime32 Wrote:  

Man trying to get the attention of a western women under 30 is like trying to get the attention of a goldfish, there's just no point. Pump and dump my friend.

[Noir]

Stay more invested in yourself than her investment for what you should be.. The fear of losing you is inevitably what will keep her around hence jealousy, options and having your shit on lockdown are the key points, IMO.

[NYJ]

If they're so fickle as to let you go over one frivalious thing, they weren't worth any time invested in the first place. These girls act like they're diamonds in the rough when in reality they're a blade a grass on a baseball field. Women are not in short supply nor are they running out any time soon. Keeping improving yourself overall as a man and approach the next women and don't take shit personal. They should be grateful that a well rounded man is talking to them in the first place.

Women should be nervous about nexting men over one little thing. As we already know there is a growing population of men who are simply deciding that a night infront of pornhub is better than a night trying to get mediocre women with high standards and low tolerance.

[EasyMoney]

Game doesn't exist in a vacuum. The environment that you're in effects it a lot. The core rules of alpha game always apply, but the dynamics of male-female mating are situation depedent to some degree.

You say you're in a guy heavy location. If this is true, girls have even more leverage in mate selection because there are lots of men competing for the scant females out there - this does make your margin of error a lot smaller than if you were in a place with ratios that were the opposite.

The margin of error with the "strong, independent" American type girl is small undoubtedly, and the only way around it is to always be drumming up new leads.

The more girls you approach, the more likely you are to meet at least a couple who you will bang despite making some errors in your game. No one can spit perfect game 100% of the time.

Don't try to force a girl into the girlfriend role. If you find yourself banging her and enjoying her company a couple months after the initial bang and everything is ok, just keep rolling with it and don't feel a rush to call her your girlfriend.

She gets to be your girlfriend, you should not be in the mentality that you're on the hunt for one.

[WestIndianArchie]

(06-30-2013 02:23 PM)nek Wrote:  

I'm starting to really get the impression that, here in the states, the margin for error when dating (note, not just hooking-up) is so small that taking any girl seriously has huge risks. I make my share of mistakes and have my awkward/embarrassing moments, so it concerns me to think that just one slip up can get a girl I'm dating to go jump on some other guys cock. The issue isn't that fucking up can drive a girl away, it's always been that way, but it seems like it's more delicate now than ever. Smaller fuck-ups are being punished more severely now more than ever. I've been doing some introspection lately as to why I avoid getting close to women, and I think this is the crux of it. I'm not sure if this is just my area (I live in a guy-heavy area), but does anyone else sense this same issue? Just trying to verify my sanity (or lack thereof).

It's like buying a house.
Lots of upfront costs.
Lots of maintenance costs.
And very difficult to get out of if you need to.

Do you really want to live here?
Do you really want to live anywhere?
Do you really want to put down roots?

Ain't got a thing to do with the game or American women. I could run across my perfect little Colombiana tomorrow, and the same questions will come to mind.

Do I want that domestic life or not?

Even if you manage to find your personal trainer, bi-sexual/okay with 3somes, location independent, red pill woman - do you want the responsibility and routine that comes with a relationship? Do you want to deal with the uncertainty of an unhappy ending, of things going south in ways you can't anticipate?

A long term relationship with a good woman is its own special hell, especially after you have game, especially after you've built up your long term assets.

This has nothing to do with the nationality of women you deal with, and everything with how you deal with an uncertain future.

WIA

[MikeCF]

(06-30-2013 02:23 PM)nek Wrote:  

I'm starting to really get the impression that, here in the states, the margin for error when dating (note, not just hooking-up) is so small that taking any girl seriously has huge risks. I make my share of mistakes and have my awkward/embarrassing moments, so it concerns me to think that just one slip up can get a girl I'm dating to go jump on some other guys cock. The issue isn't that fucking up can drive a girl away, it's always been that way, but it seems like it's more delicate now than ever.

You still have a beta/scarcity mindset.

You "fuck up" and she goes away? Oh well.

Are you going to cry into your pillow or something?

Who cares?

[All or Nothing]

(07-02-2013 06:34 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

You still have a beta/scarcity mindset.

You "fuck up" and she goes away? Oh well.

Are you going to cry into your pillow or something?

Who cares?

Mike what you said reminded me of this guy I met at a bar. He's about 37, so he had about 16 years of experience on me. I was sitting at his table with his friends, and he was giving me life advice.

He had totally taken on the "Who cares?" sort of mindset. His go to saying was "fuck it".

He told me how when there is a big project going on, all of the people he supervises begin to freak out. He explained to me how the work has to be done eventually, so instead of stressing out, just say "fuck it" and start working on it.

He applied this principle to everything in life. Bad things are going to happen, and most things in life don't work out the way you want them to. What else can you do beyond saying, "fuck it" and keep moving forward?

[MikeCF]

You should make friends with that guy.

Best single piece of life advice I could ever give, "You should have friends who are 10, 20, and 30 years older than you."

Some good advice I got from an older mentor.

I was 22 and doing an advanced military school. In those schools, you are given tasks that "set you up for failure." Then you get screamed at, forced to do remedial exercises, etc. It's very stressful.

My older mentor saw me stressing. He said. "Relax. You can't get in trouble if you don't care."

Think about that one for a while.

You're worried about your boss yelling at you or your girl catching you flirting or something.

You can't get in trouble if you don't care.

[XY.]

dude.. get her to invest heavily by doing little things that lead to bigger things. kinda like a ladder....

*1st date at some bar*

XY: hey could u hold this for a second?

Girl: sureee


*days later*

XY: deliver these drugs to _other country_ by 7am

girl: ok baby, i love you! :-)

[Veloce]

(06-30-2013 02:23 PM)nek Wrote:  

I'm starting to really get the impression that, here in the states, the margin for error when dating (note, not just hooking-up) is so small that taking any girl seriously has huge risks. I make my share of mistakes and have my awkward/embarrassing moments, so it concerns me to think that just one slip up can get a girl I'm dating to go jump on some other guys cock. The issue isn't that fucking up can drive a girl away, it's always been that way, but it seems like it's more delicate now than ever. Smaller fuck-ups are being punished more severely now more than ever. I've been doing some introspection lately as to why I avoid getting close to women, and I think this is the crux of it. I'm not sure if this is just my area (I live in a guy-heavy area), but does anyone else sense this same issue? Just trying to verify my sanity (or lack thereof).

This is some serious horseshit right here, pure and simple.

Not to boast, but I have the opposite problem. I actually have a hard time with ONS because I'm not the funloving peacocking badboy that girls want to fuck that very night. I'm the guy that triggers her bf complex and once I get the bang on the 2nd or 3rd date I can't get rid of the bitch.

So the problem is not girls, it's you. Because if I can do it, so can you. So your fear is an irrational fear. Men are not irrational.

If you reversed the articles "her" to "him", your post might sound like something out of Cosmopolitan magazine. "How to keep a man" and that kind of crap.

If you want a gf, you have to stop wanting a gf. Make sense? Because if you want a gf, that means you're going to worry about keeping her. Which is going to drive her away. And even if you do something that drives her away, guess what? You just got your freedom back and she has to go find another cock to ride. Her value went down and your assets just appreciated in value.

It took me a long time to realize this, and I give some credit to some of the RVF posters to help me along, but being a man, if done correctly, is always a win-win situation.

[Therapsid]

The surest way to snagging a girl who wants you to be her boyfriend (and btw thats what matters, not whether you see her as your girlfriend) is to be spinning as many plates as possible and screwing at least a couple of other chicks at any given time.

Don't be afraid to talk about these other girls either. You can overdo it and sound self-conscious but it takes a lot. Push the jealousy game to its breaking point and reap the benefits.

The downside is that, by implication, you're not remotely as into the girl as you would have been as some blue pill popping dude. Don't be surprised if you find yourself disgusted as soon as you drive the girl into your arms.

[iknowexactly]

(07-02-2013 07:51 PM)MikeCF Wrote:  

Think about that one for a while.

You're worried about your boss yelling at you or your girl catching you flirting or something.

You can't get in trouble if you don't care.

Like that one. I heard another one that is great is its folksiness:

"Most of the shit people worry about never happens anyway."