This is a thread for guys around 40 who are in the age bracket where it's inevitable they'll run into women who had at least one kid. I know single moms are a no-no in the manosphere, but a divorced woman with a kid is a different kettle of fish (heh) than a "single mom."
The following are my experiences with older women who had kids vs. older women who never had 'em. Some of these experience are drawn from my younger days, ironically enough, because I liked older women and they were plentiful in my old office. And, yes, I know younger women are the ideal, but there are older women out there who most of us will be into at some point. So consider this a Red Pill that you can leave in the bottle but might want to take someday...or a navigating tool for twentysomething guys who were like me and had a thing for MILF-types (I make no apologies!).
Women with no kids:
Oscar Wilde once said something like "motherhood humbles women." No where else will you find this truer than dealing with an older woman who never experienced motherhood. The unconscious self-centeredness and arrogance they bring to the table is often astounding. You might think since they're older and see time and opportunities quickly passing by, they'd tamp down the me-me-me bit. You'd be wrong.
I've found that women who never had to care for a husband or kids usually live in a state of arrested development. Unfortunately, their development stopped around age 22, when most of their friends paired off. So all the things you hated about 22-year-olds they bring to the table: the flakiness, the lack of understanding about people and the heartlessness and fickleness they show towards men. The qualities we tolerate or find "cute" in younger women often seem grotesque and horrific when played out by a 40-year-old. Like squealing hysteria at some minor "infraction" on a date, for example.
On the plus side, such women often look better than their child-bearing counterparts for obvious reasons. Nicer hair; clearer skin; firmer breasts. And if they're into you, they can be pretty wild and uninhibited -- that's when you learn about how their sexual strangeness might have been a factor in them staying single. But on the downside, 50 is right around the corner and those looks are gonna be gone real soon anyway. Also, these women often have money. The bad part is: they ain't gonna spend it on you. Unless they're totally fat and desperate, that is. Which is a moot point for this crowd.
One other thing: often the eternally-single women later in life were the weirdos in high school and college that simply never connected with anyone. The success they usually have in the business world makes them appear relatively normal but that's usually a facade. If you have a low tolerance for eccentricity (obsessions with Obama, obsessions with horses, obsessions with building doll houses) run away...fast.
Women with Kids:
The obvious drawback here is the kids. Unless you're game for being a step-parent, you don't want to get drawn into a scenario that comes with drama and headaches. But, not all of these situations have drama. And a lot of women with kids prefer to keep their dating life separate from their home life, lest a kid gets too attached to a guy and the guy disappears.
The big plus with women with kids isn't that they're "easy" because they're desperate as is commonly thought. This is only true with some. It's that they've seen the dark side and come back, so to speak. They've had to deal with the travails of motherhood, divorce, and single parenting so they can relate to men who sacrifice (something despised by the perennially-single crowd) and hard workers (ditto).
Another positive is that these women usually turn out to be the cool chicks you just barely missed out on in your twenties (because some guy snapped 'em up first), and they're still pretty cool -- if their divorces weren't acrimonious. They like ball games, are laid back, will reciprocate acts of kindness, etc. Since they've usually lived responsible suburban lives, they tend not to spout mindless liberal talking points or try to castrate you if you don't bow down at the alter of gay marriage/global warming/feminism, etc.
As for the negative, if they've had a couple kids, they usually look like they did. If you're more about the visual than about getting along with a woman, this might not be an option. But I've found that as I mature that pleasant personalities and stress-free conversations will turn a 6 into an 8 in my eyes. (Conversely, a hottie who drones on about Jezebel talking points will start looking like an evil witch to me.) Anyway, I have a vivid memory of being 26, hooking up with a 47-year-old I worked with who had two kids (ages 16 and 18* at the time) and thinking her body was not exactly tight but for some reason she was sexy as hell. Maybe it was the taboo factor? Whatever the case, the boner doesn't lie, as Roissy once wrote.
Here is the booby trap with women with kids, though: if you meet the kids when they're younger than about 12, you are asking for trouble. This is when the drama creeps in. "You played catch with Colby and he likes you, so you can't say goodbye to me because his heart will break!!!" Unless you want something serious, never meet the kids under any circumstance. EVER.
The best option here, oddly enough, is women who had kids very young. If they're 40 and the kid is 17, they could give a fuck if you meet him or her. Plus, they're all too happy to have fun again and behave like a teenager since their parenting job is nearly up. This, in my experience, has been the best option with older women. And before all you SWLP types start piping in, let me say that having kids young doesn't necessarily mean "white trash." I've found the women I know who had kids before 25 did a better job than the older moms. (They tend to look less haggard too; bodies are primed to bear children at 23 not 36.)
So I guess the moral here is: don't get old. OK, seriously most of us will be old someday. Hopefully we can avoid some of the problems that come with dating or hooking up with the inevitable MILF-types that come our way.
* I know already what y'all are thinking: "Hmmm...if you're so cool then why didn't you hook up with the 18-year-old?" Two reasons. First, she was homely. Her mom was 1,000 times hotter, which actually caused some tension between them. And second, I was already dating women this age because in those days shopping malls were huge and an easy place to meet women...which might be the topic of my next post.
The following are my experiences with older women who had kids vs. older women who never had 'em. Some of these experience are drawn from my younger days, ironically enough, because I liked older women and they were plentiful in my old office. And, yes, I know younger women are the ideal, but there are older women out there who most of us will be into at some point. So consider this a Red Pill that you can leave in the bottle but might want to take someday...or a navigating tool for twentysomething guys who were like me and had a thing for MILF-types (I make no apologies!).
Women with no kids:
Oscar Wilde once said something like "motherhood humbles women." No where else will you find this truer than dealing with an older woman who never experienced motherhood. The unconscious self-centeredness and arrogance they bring to the table is often astounding. You might think since they're older and see time and opportunities quickly passing by, they'd tamp down the me-me-me bit. You'd be wrong.
I've found that women who never had to care for a husband or kids usually live in a state of arrested development. Unfortunately, their development stopped around age 22, when most of their friends paired off. So all the things you hated about 22-year-olds they bring to the table: the flakiness, the lack of understanding about people and the heartlessness and fickleness they show towards men. The qualities we tolerate or find "cute" in younger women often seem grotesque and horrific when played out by a 40-year-old. Like squealing hysteria at some minor "infraction" on a date, for example.
On the plus side, such women often look better than their child-bearing counterparts for obvious reasons. Nicer hair; clearer skin; firmer breasts. And if they're into you, they can be pretty wild and uninhibited -- that's when you learn about how their sexual strangeness might have been a factor in them staying single. But on the downside, 50 is right around the corner and those looks are gonna be gone real soon anyway. Also, these women often have money. The bad part is: they ain't gonna spend it on you. Unless they're totally fat and desperate, that is. Which is a moot point for this crowd.
One other thing: often the eternally-single women later in life were the weirdos in high school and college that simply never connected with anyone. The success they usually have in the business world makes them appear relatively normal but that's usually a facade. If you have a low tolerance for eccentricity (obsessions with Obama, obsessions with horses, obsessions with building doll houses) run away...fast.
Women with Kids:
The obvious drawback here is the kids. Unless you're game for being a step-parent, you don't want to get drawn into a scenario that comes with drama and headaches. But, not all of these situations have drama. And a lot of women with kids prefer to keep their dating life separate from their home life, lest a kid gets too attached to a guy and the guy disappears.
The big plus with women with kids isn't that they're "easy" because they're desperate as is commonly thought. This is only true with some. It's that they've seen the dark side and come back, so to speak. They've had to deal with the travails of motherhood, divorce, and single parenting so they can relate to men who sacrifice (something despised by the perennially-single crowd) and hard workers (ditto).
Another positive is that these women usually turn out to be the cool chicks you just barely missed out on in your twenties (because some guy snapped 'em up first), and they're still pretty cool -- if their divorces weren't acrimonious. They like ball games, are laid back, will reciprocate acts of kindness, etc. Since they've usually lived responsible suburban lives, they tend not to spout mindless liberal talking points or try to castrate you if you don't bow down at the alter of gay marriage/global warming/feminism, etc.
As for the negative, if they've had a couple kids, they usually look like they did. If you're more about the visual than about getting along with a woman, this might not be an option. But I've found that as I mature that pleasant personalities and stress-free conversations will turn a 6 into an 8 in my eyes. (Conversely, a hottie who drones on about Jezebel talking points will start looking like an evil witch to me.) Anyway, I have a vivid memory of being 26, hooking up with a 47-year-old I worked with who had two kids (ages 16 and 18* at the time) and thinking her body was not exactly tight but for some reason she was sexy as hell. Maybe it was the taboo factor? Whatever the case, the boner doesn't lie, as Roissy once wrote.
Here is the booby trap with women with kids, though: if you meet the kids when they're younger than about 12, you are asking for trouble. This is when the drama creeps in. "You played catch with Colby and he likes you, so you can't say goodbye to me because his heart will break!!!" Unless you want something serious, never meet the kids under any circumstance. EVER.
The best option here, oddly enough, is women who had kids very young. If they're 40 and the kid is 17, they could give a fuck if you meet him or her. Plus, they're all too happy to have fun again and behave like a teenager since their parenting job is nearly up. This, in my experience, has been the best option with older women. And before all you SWLP types start piping in, let me say that having kids young doesn't necessarily mean "white trash." I've found the women I know who had kids before 25 did a better job than the older moms. (They tend to look less haggard too; bodies are primed to bear children at 23 not 36.)
So I guess the moral here is: don't get old. OK, seriously most of us will be old someday. Hopefully we can avoid some of the problems that come with dating or hooking up with the inevitable MILF-types that come our way.
* I know already what y'all are thinking: "Hmmm...if you're so cool then why didn't you hook up with the 18-year-old?" Two reasons. First, she was homely. Her mom was 1,000 times hotter, which actually caused some tension between them. And second, I was already dating women this age because in those days shopping malls were huge and an easy place to meet women...which might be the topic of my next post.
