[Handsome Creepy Eel]

Quote:

COLUMBUS, OH—According to staff at Dusty’s Kitchen, the local restaurant’s extreme burger challenge, formerly described as “an insurmountable mountain of beef and cheese,” has recently been moved down to the regular dinner menu.

“When we first started selling the Colossus Burger, we didn’t actually think more than a handful of people would attempt to finish it, but now it’s our most popular item,” said Dusty’s shift manager Rachel Ferguson, referring to the 10-pound tower of hamburger patties, bacon, onion rings, and three kinds of cheese, which also comes with five pounds of french fries and which is reportedly now referred to on the menu simply as “The Classic.”

“Honestly, it got to the point where every single customer who tackled that burger was polishing it off no problem, and well under the 30-minute time limit, too. We were giving out free meals and ‘I Slayed the Mighty Colossus’ T-shirts left and right.”

Ferguson noted that the restaurant has since upgraded its challenge burger to an enhanced 40-pound version referred to as “The Leviathan,” which at press time was being enjoyed by eight different Dusty’s patrons.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/restaur...-to,32559/

"The Leviathan"

One of the better satirical-but-realistic Onion articles that I've read in a long time. Love that site. Hope it doesn't deteriorate into a feminist fortress over time like Cracked did.

[GenJx]

did somebody say burger?

[Vicious]

The best kind of satire is often eerily close to the truth.

[Bacchus]

[2Wycked]

I'll admit I laughed out loud while reading that story. Good find, Handsome Creepy Eel.