[Willy Wonka]

People keep telling me I need to lead more. I agree with this, but is it ever okay to let the chick lead?

Some examples....

1.) I'm at the club, by the bar talking to a chick... and then she says "let's dance" and grabs my hand and takes me to the dancefloor.... it's basically her leading here... is it okay to allow this to happen or no?

2.) I meet a girl at night in the street and she tries to venue change me... "we're going to so-and-so bar, you should come too..." Go or not?

3.) Day game, I meet a chick and she tries to insta-date me, "I was just about to get something to eat at so-and-so, you wanna come with me?" Again, go or make an excuse?

4.) Letting a chick set up a date. Ex. chick calls or texts me, "we should hang out, are you free tomorrow night? I want to go do blah blah blah."

All of the above scenarios have happened to me recently, which is why I ask. I'm kind of torn on what to do in such situations, because going along with them is almost like I'm letting the chick lead and I'm just following, rather than leading... so is it actually working against me if I comply and go along with any of the above? Should I just make excuses and counter with suggestions of my own?

[thegmanifesto]

Willy Wonka,

You are reading to much pick up artist literature. This isn't a black and white issue.

If a girl says to you "Come to my crib to swoop me", are you going to go?

If a girl has a good idea, why wouldn't you go? If you have a better idea, than you should use that.

I let girls lead especially if I am fresh in a city where she is a Nightlife Princess ( http://www.thegmanifesto.com/2006/08/nig...esses.html ) and I have no idea what is going on.

And I choose the wine 99.9999% of the time when I am with girls, but I swoop this one fly girl who is a sommelier (or assistant sommelier, I forget now) at one of the sickest restaurants in NYC, and I let her pick the wine.

If it is a place where I have juice, I make the moves.

It all basically depends on who has the best idea/move.


So to address your four scenarios:

1. Yeah, that is fine.
2. Depends if the spot is dope/conducive to swooping.
3. Go if its a good spot to grind. If not, show her what up.
4. Again, if she can get you into a sick club, pro-bono, why not? If she has a wack suggestion, switch up speeds.

[AlphaQup2nite]

The biggest thing is to be unpredictable. dont be a passive guy all the time who will always asks her to lead, but it is a nice surprise for her to let her choose something, even if it isnt your normal MO. Same as G says, if a girls got an advantage, its stupid not to. Remember, getting chicks isnt about being the total asshole/jerk , she needs to feel a connection with you.

[hydrogonian]

(06-19-2010 01:46 PM)Willy Wonka Wrote:  

People keep telling me I need to lead more. I agree with this, but is it ever okay to let the chick lead?

Some examples....

1.) I'm at the club, by the bar talking to a chick... and then she says "let's dance" and grabs my hand and takes me to the dancefloor.... it's basically her leading here... is it okay to allow this to happen or no?

2.) I meet a girl at night in the street and she tries to venue change me... "we're going to so-and-so bar, you should come too..." Go or not?

3.) Day game, I meet a chick and she tries to insta-date me, "I was just about to get something to eat at so-and-so, you wanna come with me?" Again, go or make an excuse?

4.) Letting a chick set up a date. Ex. chick calls or texts me, "we should hang out, are you free tomorrow night? I want to go do blah blah blah."

All of the above scenarios have happened to me recently, which is why I ask. I'm kind of torn on what to do in such situations, because going along with them is almost like I'm letting the chick lead and I'm just following, rather than leading... so is it actually working against me if I comply and go along with any of the above? Should I just make excuses and counter with suggestions of my own?

In my opinion, if you give strong resistance to any of these your going to miss out.

But in order:

1. Hell yeah, go. Dancing with a woman is one of the fastest ways to get to the bedroom. Especially when she invites you.

2. Don't over-think that one. Just say "sure". If you don't follow her, you can't lay her.

3. You are seriously missing out if you deny this offer. You could even get an insta-lay out of the insta-date. Go, or regret it. Most opportunities like this don't repeat themselves with any one woman.

4. While you could play coy, and make it for another time, the girl usually won't feel lke your a "follower" if you agree to this one. She'll probably be relieved and happy, as it probably took some nerve to ask you out. Imagine when most guys do this, seldom do they repeat the offer to a woman after they feel rejected. With a woman, the repeat offer is even less likely. Also, women have a detachment response that they use to protect their feelings from guys who they feel dont like them, or that they feel have rejected them. Even one day, after you reject an offer, could mean that she is much less into you. Save the "pull away" stuff for women who you believe are really testing you. If she's asking you out, she rarely is testing you.

[Aylar]

1) if you like her yes, just take the lead on the next one

2) had you been chatting for a while? was she with friends? were yo with friends? it could be one of her friends like your friend, they want free drinks, it could be so many things. skip out on that one. if shes that hot, ask for her number instead.

3) did you start up a major 30 min convo with her or did she just happen to share the line with you at the grocery store and you guys made a joke about the cover of the national enquirer? if its the latter, skip out. she sounds like a predatory animal

4) set something up informal. like coffee. then next time you invite her out to dinner.

[Giovonny]

Let them lead sometimes. Its fun for them. Just make sure that she realizes that you are "LETTING" her lead.

Also, I have known some known some sexy girls who I guess like to be in control of the date. They would tell me to meet them at a hotel or a restaurant at a certain time. Why would I say no?