[Cho]

Hi I'm new on here only joined 5 days ago and need a bit of help, I work in the oil industry since the weekend I set up 3 dates and I'm getting called out for a few weeks and now can't do any of the dates I've tried speaking to them but they must think I've gotten cold feet or something cause they aren't replying now I don't wanna send another text to them already sent one each explaining, should I move on to the next one or send another text to them or would this make me sound beta and desperate?

Thanks in advance for any help

[Matt3B]

First off, chill out.

Second, learn to use one of these --> .

How did you text them? What did you say?

[Cho]

Cheers for the reply pal and sorry for the lack of full stops. I think all of this could be attributed to bad timing since it was all the same day (yesterday) but anyways, girl number 1: I asked do you fancy that drink on Thursday, I got the reply for yes but will have to wait till after 5 till she finished college,but this was on monday night and I was waiting till Tuesday to reply then I got the call that I was getting sent out, and I said I have to cancel because I'm getting sent away we will have to reschedule for when I'm back in at least 2 weeks time. No reply.

Number 2 was pretty much a sure thing that I pulled on Sunday night until she got arrested, don't laugh my pals keep taking the piss out of me haha I had my mate come up to
Me and say I've just seen your bird get thrown into a police van haha (nightmare)! But she tracked me down on fb on monday and after small talk I said are you gonna meet me again when I'm out on the weekend after you give me blue balls, she said yes then on Tuesday I said I'm getting sent away bla bla. No reply!

Number 3 was a number I got on Sunday I said wanna carry on where we left off when I'm out Friday since your a lightweight lol, followed by yes and other teases back and forth and then on Tuesday I sent the news to no reply!

Im gutted lol and hope you get a chance to read this long post haha hope the punctuation is ok!

[Matt3B]

For next time this happens, don't give them an excuse as to why you can't meet up, and don't ask if it's okay to reschedule. A simple "Something's come up, gonna need to reschedule. I'll text you some time" will do.

That way, you keep an air of mystery about you. She might think you're fucking other girls and start questioning why you've cancelled on her. Also, not leaving a question means you're in control and not waiting around on her, ie giving her the frame control.

Don't text them until you can meet up again. Don't ask a question about meeting up, just send something like "I'm in x bar on Friday. Come along".

[Cho]

It seems so simple when you put it like that, cheers mate. I'm still learning I need to get in your mindset ASAP! That's defiantly where I went wrong giving them the power before that I initiated specific dates ect and then when shit hit the fan I transferred the power and give them an excuse. Once again thanks for taking the time to help. While I'm away I'm just gonna scout POF and other sites try and sort something for my return and when I have spare time I will send them a message with what you said, 'in x bar come along'

[Cho]

Also instead of creating a new thread can I ask another question unrelated to the thread it's also been eating me up inside, I was out during the day having a casual drink and the barmaid who kept serving me was keep playing with hair, giggling and making the effort to start a little conversation ect she even interupted her collegue who was serving me one time saying its ok i know what he gets. When I was sitting with me drink talking and watching sky sports news I kept noticing her trying to engage in eye contact with me I kept seeing her in my peripheral vision and when I looked she was already locked on to my eyes I kept smiling and getting back into the convo then when I went back up to the bar to get more drinks I asked for my regular and your number which was followed by blushing and 'I'm really flattered but I have a bf' WTF!? So after that I refused to look at her and after drinks went to the next bar. What did I do wrong? Was it a shit test what I've read about or me picking up signals wrong?

[RCron]

(03-06-2013 11:04 AM)Cho Wrote:  

Also instead of creating a new thread can I ask another question unrelated to the thread it's also been eating me up inside, I was out during the day having a casual drink and the barmaid who kept serving me was keep playing with hair, giggling and making the effort to start a little conversation ect she even interupted her collegue who was serving me one time saying its ok i know what he gets. When I was sitting with me drink talking and watching sky sports news I kept noticing her trying to engage in eye contact with me I kept seeing her in my peripheral vision and when I looked she was already locked on to my eyes I kept smiling and getting back into the convo then when I went back up to the bar to get more drinks I asked for my regular and your number which was followed by blushing and 'I'm really flattered but I have a bf' WTF!? So after that I refused to look at her and after drinks went to the next bar. What did I do wrong? Was it a shit test what I've read about or me picking up signals wrong?

First off, props for going for the number. Those in the service industry (barmaids, waitresses, hostesses, etc.) are essentially paid to flirt with their customers by earning tips. With that being said, it's entirely possible that she really was attracted to you and also had a BF.

The important thing is to not take it personally and act hurt by her reply. So she has a BF? So what, keep flirting with her anyway and keep the interaction fun and light. Don't act like a petulant child if she turns down your advances. You're a high value guy in demand by many women right??

[Cho]

Cheers for the reply, the thing is I've always been lead to believe when a girl says she has a bf is because she has or is not interested and that's her polite way of saying no. So do all you alphas class this as just a minor hurdle and carry on? I've only been able to carry on once after being told that but I was drunk and havnt been able to build up the courage since but what but my reply was 'if you have a bf il probably be the best mistake you will ever make' I only got a kiss from it.

In answer to your question of being high value and in demand, I'm only at the beginning of my career and havnt been in the position to do all of the travelling and conquests of many members. I have also gotten a lot of attention of girls over the years but never had the confidence or the ability to escalate things and I use to be the nice guy that got friend zoned, I then come across this website and changed my views on a lot of things and trying to get out my beta ways

[Matt3B]

Don't worry, you'll improve. I was like you no more than a year ago.

If you want advice on waitresses, check out my blog post or look for my thread in the game section "How to pick up a waitress". Hopefully you'll be able to see where you went wrong in your interaction.

The close was pretty weak in all honesty mate. A lot of girls get that.

[RCron]

(03-06-2013 01:32 PM)Cho Wrote:  

Cheers for the reply, the thing is I've always been lead to believe when a girl says she has a bf is because she has or is not interested and that's her polite way of saying no. So do all you alphas class this as just a minor hurdle and carry on? I've only been able to carry on once after being told that but I was drunk and havnt been able to build up the courage since but what but my reply was 'if you have a bf il probably be the best mistake you will ever make' I only got a kiss from it.

In answer to your question of being high value and in demand, I'm only at the beginning of my career and havnt been in the position to do all of the travelling and conquests of many members. I have also gotten a lot of attention of girls over the years but never had the confidence or the ability to escalate things and I use to be the nice guy that got friend zoned, I then come across this website and changed my views on a lot of things and trying to get out my beta ways

I think you're misinterpreting my point. First off, throw out your beliefs of whether she's interested in you or not or if she says she has a BF she must not be interested etc. because in reality it could mean any of those things or none of those things. Instead focus on what you can control and that's your actions and reactions.

In the situation of her saying she has a BF it could be truth or it could be a shit test. By acting unfazed by it and just carrying on and having fun you've already won the battle. If the BF line was a shit test you will have passed it and she'll be even more attracted to you. If she really does have a BF it still helps you by conditioning the belief that every interaction is really insignificant and it's not really worth getting upset about anyway. By being the cool guy who doesn't give a f*&k you always win.

Edit: Even if you're not actually a guy who's in high demand by women you need to have that belief that you are and if this one isn't smart enough to figure it out there's millions more who will be.

[Cho]

Ok cheers for the help guys il take it all into account when I next go out.

Also matt il have a look at that thread now bud cheers