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Let's talk screening
#1

Let's talk screening

There's initial screening (pre-close)
- attractive enough
- vibes well enough to close

And then there's secondary screen (post-close)
- values, goals, politics
- craziness
- expectations

What do you screen for?
When do you screen for it?
Does the lady know that you're actively screening her?
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#2

Let's talk screening

Depends on what my motives are. If I just wanna fuck, she doesn't have to meet any requirements other than not being repulsively ugly. Even if she's a 4 on a 10 scale, I'd still hit it, I just wouldn't want to be seen with her.
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#3

Let's talk screening

So there's (1) would I hit it? and (2) how much effort am I willing to put in? If we're talking a 4/10, sure, I'd say "yes" if she directly propositioned me, but short of that, I can find it very difficult to motivate myself to bother. I can think of several cases where I had a solid chance at sex without a huge amount of effort, but that I passed up because I just wasn't super attracted. (I wonder if the "unwilling to put in effort" attitude ends up giving off the right vibe such that it actually reels them in...)

For what you call "secondary screening", I wonder these days whether there's *any* woman who I am willing to get into a serious LTR with. Have a hard time seeing myself going past "casual dating"/FWB, and for that, well, if she's fun to hang out with...
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#4

Let's talk screening

It depends on how hard up I am. If I wasn't too concerned about getting some action I was a picky bastard. The body, gnarly toes, or whatever. The deal breaker for me was teeth. I hate chicks with bad teeth.
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#5

Let's talk screening

I am a newbie, but from what I read this is how it goes:

0. you are attracted like every other 'chump' to her beautiful ass
1. you approach and have your routine
2. she screens you - you show some kind of value or challenge
(there might be some kind of 'qualifying' type questions here. She should know she's being screened - who wants to go further with someone who'll take anyone? not a woman)
3. she is attracted enough to be isolated and engage with you on a deeper level
4. then you screen her once she opens up and actually gives you real stuff about her life, like whats she's about and what she likes.

I am not one of those guys who will get sexually off on a girl for more than a few days if she's boring or a pain the ass or immature - so I'm going to be screening for personality. Screeing for looks is no problem, my dick does that in about 0.01 seconds.

By the way I wonder if you've ever had the case of not being aroused in front of what is ostensibly a very nice bodied girl with an awful personality. Funnily enough, my dick goes limp even though I technically woudl want to do her.

"For the true meaning of victory ask the defeated warrior"
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#6

Let's talk screening

Quote: (09-24-2008 08:24 AM)twigman Wrote:  

By the way I wonder if you've ever had the case of not being aroused in front of what is ostensibly a very nice bodied girl with an awful personality. Funnily enough, my dick goes limp even though I technically woudl want to do her.

There's screening on your part in order to attract her.
All that, "Oh you can't cook, we're broken up".

I think those MM guys call some of that false disqualification.
And then there's real screening. Implying that you know what you want, and you screen can get you those results.

As for the 2nd part, i've messed with an attractive chick and then grown intensely repulsed by her.

Trapezoid girl.

I was ready to go all out, and then I realized her head looked like an inverted trapezoid. I feel out of lust/love/infatuation instantly.

I've always thought attraction can be quite fleeting. Even a dime can go to a dog. And if you spend enough time with an average girl, you can notice things about her that become very attractive.
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#7

Let's talk screening

How about losing interest in a girl because she was/had:

01. a hammer thumb (I can't stand that on a woman!)
02. inverted nipples
03. morning breath
04. moles
05. looked funny at a weird angle
06. crooked/yellow teeth
07. deformed pinky toe
08. no teeth (funny thing was I didn't realize it until after our third encounter all I knew was she gave great head)
09. double jointed
10. misproportioned tits (like one was obviously bigger than the other)
11. pussy lips that were so big it looked like the plant from 'Little Shop of Horrors'
12. darkened rim (I hate this with a passion it's hard to shake the thought of her not wiping her ass good)
13. a GED (don't get me wrong, but she spoke like English was a foreign language)
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#8

Let's talk screening

Quote: (09-24-2008 04:51 PM)Trotter Wrote:  

How about losing interest in a girl because she was/had:

01. a hammer thumb (I can't stand that on a woman!)
02. inverted nipples
03. morning breath
04. moles
05. looked funny at a weird angle
06. crooked/yellow teeth
07. deformed pinky toe
08. no teeth (funny thing was I didn't realize it until after our third encounter all I knew was she gave great head)
09. double jointed
10. misproportioned tits (like one was obviously bigger than the other)
11. pussy lips that were so big it looked like the plant from 'Little Shop of Horrors'
12. darkened rim (I hate this with a passion it's hard to shake the thought of her not wiping her ass good)
13. a GED (don't get me wrong, but she spoke like English was a foreign language)

Haha. I can relate.

But I'm realistic with my standards.

At the same time, the more ridiculous your standards are - the more dismissive you become of chicks - and the more intrigued some of them will become when you aren't fawning all over them.
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#9

Let's talk screening

Quote: (09-24-2008 11:05 PM)broken Wrote:  

11. pussy lips that were so big it looked like the plant from 'Little Shop of Horrors'

deal breaker huh? hilarious

"For the true meaning of victory ask the defeated warrior"
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#10

Let's talk screening

My rant on the screening subject:

Wtf is up with peach fuzz on the upper lip? -- maybe it's just me noticing it more for some reason.

The last woman I dated seemed to have 'darker' peach fuzz than what I would say is normal... a major turn off for me when I don't _want_ to kiss her.

The thing is, I notice it (watch for it) all the time now... Just in grabbing some take out the other day, saw a very attractive blonde, nice body, gorgeous hair, face.. but when she turned in my direction, I saw the furry upper lip.. ack! Any thoughts on this?? Am I being way too picky here?


A rant on personality -- another girl I was trying to date earlier this year, had a great body, decent face, was great in bed (and very, very eager to please - she's left me with some images I have trouble getting out of my head) - but my gawd... she was intelligent (university degree), but yet stupid, clumsy, and I feared for my life when getting in a car with her as the driver. She would have been nice to keep around for FWB.. but that wasn't her thing [Image: sad.gif]

Anyway.. back to searching for women of quality... I'm sure a few still exist..
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#11

Let's talk screening

Peach fuzz doesn't bother me so much. I've found that a lot of blondes seem to have the peach fuzz on their lips, but it's harder to detect because of the lightness of the hairs.
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#12

Let's talk screening

All this talk of screening reminds me of a buddy. He had lasik surgery that didn't work out too well so his vision isn't the best. This guy will call girls hot that I wouldn't touch! He now refers to himself as 'Shallow Hal' like the character in the Jack Black movie. One time we were at a party and he was making out with a girl who had major fuzz on her chin. I told him he was making out with a billygoat and he's like "I don't care, she's gorgeous" haha.
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#13

Let's talk screening

Quote: (09-24-2008 12:18 AM)Trotter Wrote:  

It depends on how hard up I am. If I wasn't too concerned about getting some action I was a picky bastard. The body, gnarly toes, or whatever. The deal breaker for me was teeth. I hate chicks with bad teeth.
That didn't sound good. "Depends on how hard up I am." [Image: whip.gif] 50 lashes with a wet noodle.[Image: confused.gif]
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#14

Let's talk screening

Quote: (09-27-2008 03:39 AM)nwo4life Wrote:  

All this talk of screening reminds me of a buddy. He had lasik surgery that didn't work out too well so his vision isn't the best. This guy will call girls hot that I wouldn't touch! He now refers to himself as 'Shallow Hal' like the character in the Jack Black movie. One time we were at a party and he was making out with a girl who had major fuzz on her chin. I told him he was making out with a billygoat and he's like "I don't care, she's gorgeous" haha.
It might depend on how many beers he has, too. The "billygoat" might just be his own mustache.
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#15

Let's talk screening

You guys didn't know women screen did ya? We like.... A man with nice teeth; a nice smile; wears tight jeans with a nice ass; wears cowboys boots; has a mustache; no hair on his back.... fresh smelling breath.... clean finger nails; a tattoo or two.... That's only for the first date. I check credentials. It gets worse for the second date; I'm fussy. And? I hope you know I razzin' you guys!
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#16

Let's talk screening

Djonna, it may just be a generational thing, but... you said yourself you, like many other women, are attracted to bad boys. I'm *not* a bad boy and yet a guy like me can find girls who are willing to make out (or, see my other post, share their pot) without so much as knowing my name yet. So why would I date a girl who has a long "laundry list" of (in my view, inane) requirements before even a first date? I mean, "no hair on his back"?? Please... (and I say that as a guy who does not have back hair)

Now, the *real* bad boys who have more women than they know what to do with -- why would they pick you? What are *you* bringing to the table that justifies this high level of selectivity? Now, you may be the hottest 49-year-old woman on the planet for all I know, but if not...

(Not trying to be mean here, just keeping it real. That's what this forum is all about... no BS, just the facts.)
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#17

Let's talk screening

"Wtf is up with peach fuzz on the upper lip? -- maybe it's just me noticing it more for some reason"

Yeah, I mentioned this to a girl I dated, and she got really mad. Same girl said she liked me initially because I seemed so upfront and honest (which is true) and stopped liking me for the same reason (I actually broke it off, but she's convinced herself that she did).

Oh and zorgon, laundry lists don't mean shit. If your game is strong, girls will like you and rationalize/minimize your faults in their head. I still wonder though, if a girl has a certain type to which you don't conform, say big jock or hipster, how are your chances affected? I'm inclined to say a dominant personality is of first and foremost importance.
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#18

Let's talk screening

Quote: (09-28-2008 01:23 PM)zorgon Wrote:  

Djonna, it may just be a generational thing, but... you said yourself you, like many other women, are attracted to bad boys. I'm *not* a bad boy and yet a guy like me can find girls who are willing to make out (or, see my other post, share their pot) without so much as knowing my name yet. So why would I date a girl who has a long "laundry list" of (in my view, inane) requirements before even a first date? I mean, "no hair on his back"?? Please... (and I say that as a guy who does not have back hair)

Now, the *real* bad boys who have more women than they know what to do with -- why would they pick you? What are *you* bringing to the table that justifies this high level of selectivity? Now, you may be the hottest 49-year-old woman on the planet for all I know, but if not...

(Not trying to be mean here, just keeping it real. That's what this forum is all about... no BS, just the facts.)

Why would a bad boy pick me? I don't know. It's "not" a lucky thing; that's for sure. But, they do. I attract them like flies. But, I think most people would say they attract the wrong type of person and typically the same kind of person. I guess we have to change, not so much the people that we attract because we have no control over that, but we do have control over who we let in to our lives. In many cases we let unhealthy people in to our lives because of loneliness and the fear of being alone, which are the wrong reasons. I am attracted to the "bad boy".... I can't honestly tell you why.
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#19

Let's talk screening

I have little rules tucked away in the back of my mind, but bottom rule is if I can get excited about seeing her again, then she has been properly screened.
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